The General Commentary Thread

[GuiltyPleasure]

Getting bloody above themselves trying to make you pay for where you put your own pictures!

....AND holding them for ransom. Isn't that illegal?

 

[todski28]

nice to see you Neo, if only for a fleeting second, time and effort right need to have the right amount of both for art, or it's all half added and never right.

 

[Piscator]

Dig the sitxties - a Golden Shovel challenge?

I was reading the NY Time Book Review and came across a review of a collection of Golden Shovel poems based on the poems of Gwendolyn Brooks. Briefly the form developed by Terrance Hayes follows these rules

• Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire.
• Use each word in the line (or lines) as an end word in your poem.
• Keep the end words in order.
• Give credit to the poet who originally wrote the line (or lines).
• The new poem does not have to be about the same subject as the poem that offers the end words

I propose a challenge in which you apply a line, or lines from a highly influential song from the era in which your musical tastes were fossilized (Sixties-Seventies in my case) and give it the golden shovel treatment.

The topic is open for discussion, if there is sufficient interest I'll host the challenge.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I'm in.

 

[Tzara]

Me too.


Where'd I stash that old Lemon Pipers LP? Gary Lewis and the Playboys? The Cyrkle?

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Me three.

 

[Angeline]

Me four.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Confused but me five.

 

[Remec]

I propose a challenge in which you apply a line, or lines from a highly influential song from the era in which your musical tastes were fossilized (Sixties-Seventies in my case) and give it the golden shovel treatment.

The topic is open for discussion, if there is sufficient interest I'll host the challenge.

Sounds intriguing, but what if our musical tastes are still developing--I've been listening to a much wider range than before on Youtube (and that doesn't even count the things I pick up from Angeline and Charley H and Tatelou)?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Sorry I had to share this and no I didn't write it, I'm so envious!

Hey there.
I saw you once.
But can't tell you where it was.
Did it begin with A?
You were just a girl.
I recall where you were from.
Nantucket.

 

[todski28]

taste of music thread, damn T man, you got this rocking!

brilliant idea

 

[Angeline]

cherries, I love your galactic wonder today (003).

 

[todski28]

cherries, I love your galactic wonder today (003).

nope it melted my head lol, all that scope and scale......(was a good poem, but damn it hurt)

it's crazy when you start contemplating it all...


just have to remember when things get too serious in the small picture....

all we are, is a bunch of evolved monkeys, on an organic space ship, hurtling round in circles that none knows how to control and there's no safe way to get off

 

[Angeline]

nope it melted my head lol, all that scope and scale......(was a good poem, but damn it hurt)

it's crazy when you start contemplating it all...


just have to remember when things get too serious in the small picture....

all we are, is a bunch of evolved monkeys, on an organic space ship, hurtling round in circles that none knows how to control and there's no safe way to get off

There is only one way off and we all go supernova eventually, but man the ride is exhilarating.

 

[greenmountaineer]

cherries, I love your galactic wonder today (003).

nope it melted my head lol, all that scope and scale......(was a good poem, but damn it hurt)

it's crazy when you start contemplating it all...


just have to remember when things get too serious in the small picture....

all we are, is a bunch of evolved monkeys, on an organic space ship, hurtling round in circles that none knows how to control and there's no safe way to get off

I liked it too. For me it suggested no matter how complicated we think our math is, there are still some things it can't fully measure.

 

[Piscator]

taste of music thread, damn T man, you got this rocking!

brilliant idea

I fully agree and am trying to put something together myself.

Given the popularity of this new challenge, procrastination on my part, and upcoming absences for vacation and work, the Music- Golden Shovel will be delayed into September.

 

[todski28]

#reminder do not write poetry at 2am when you're falling asleep directly into a thread window that will expose how much you need to edit.....

 

[UnderYourSpell]

#reminder do not write poetry at 2am when you're falling asleep directly into a thread window that will expose how much you need to edit.....

Do not speed read somebody's post and thus get the wrong end of the stick that they are inadvertently exposing themselves in front of a window

 

[todski28]

Do not speed read somebody's post and thus get the wrong end of the stick that they are inadvertently exposing themselves in front of a window

#looks out window waves to Annie...., have you seen a squashed frog

 

[Angeline]

#reminder do not write poetry at 2am when you're falling asleep directly into a thread window that will expose how much you need to edit.....

Most of what I write here is done live for the first time. Even the challenge poems I'll often just write into the response window (I'm a horrible procrastinator), and try to catch typos and anything really egregious. I don't always and that is ok because editing is where all the work takes place. My first draft may have an idea but not much finesse or is incomplete. So be of good cheer, my friend. We're all overexposed here.

 

[HarryHill]

Oh my, The Poets. still out here just everything is so immediate right now. Carry on.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

#looks out window waves to Annie...., have you seen a squashed frog

\o waves back ............ squashed frog?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'm sorry (well I'm not really) about all the threads I've bumped. I went looking for one and found several I want to play in again

 

[Angeline]

I'm sorry (well I'm not really) about all the threads I've bumped. I went looking for one and found several I want to play in again

That's what they are there for, right? Maybe I'll get some inspiration from you, Ms. Muse.

 

[Tzara]

The Five Senses Challenge is rocking right now--good poems by Angie and Remec and a really superb one by greenmountaineer.

Perhaps it's my fondness for the doomed city of Carthage, but gm's poem strikes me as being really, really good. (Though it needs some editing. Here, for example:

With a desert storm fast approaching,
the young brides hastened their work
who would [be?] allowed the ornate breastplates,​

I also would have liked footnotes to explain some of the terms. I found hastati, but not Sahbi, so I was left a little confused by that.

Still, a really superior poem, by a really superior poet.