The Horny Unicorn

[The_high_king]

Creeps

Cherise found out about the flower, and I was blushing a bit. This was certainly a embarresing situation. I sat down beside her, and drank some water, "actually Cherise, I picked that flower for you. I was going to give it to you sooner, but I was a bit... shy". I couldn't believe what I just said.

 

[Najia]

Cherise

For a moment Cherise couldnt speak. She was used to being a big, bad battle mage and usually that ment putting away her female side.

This simple gesture though was something that touched that particular side and she couldnt help smiling. The warmth she was feeling at the thought he would pick a flower for her was coming through that smile.

Leaning forward, she kissed him tenderly on the cheek and said,"You are such a gentleman. And thank you for the thought. But the rose only works for that person who plucks it and then it fades away after the last wish."

Kissing him yet again on the other cheek, she says,"And the fact you told me about it even after you knew what it was means more than you wanting to give it to me. I dont know what it says about your theiving side but it speaks volumes about your human side."

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

i couldn't believe it, she actually kissed me. Who gives a damn about wish flowers, my wish came true. She actually kissed me, my god, I just couldn't believe it. It was the happiest day of my life, it really was, "wow, uh... thanks for the tip. What do you think I should wish for then?" She could tell I was still a bit lightheaded.

 

[Najia]

Cherise

Cherise laughed softly. "I have no idea," She said breaking off a bit of the bread and eating it slowly. She was very flattered that her kiss had affected him like that.

"What is the one thing you have wished for that you couldnt use your theivery to obtain? That is the question you must ask," She said, handing him a chunk of the bread to eat as he thought on it.

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

What would I wish for indeed, hmm... Suddenly it came to me. Since I didn't have the proper ingredients with me right now I knew exactly what to wish for, "I wish, I had to glasses of, 'Blood of Moon". Suddenly the flower began to glow, and appearing in front of me were two glasses of wine in my hands. I handed on glass over to Cherise, "this is the reason why I think I can reopen the, 'Horny Unicorn'. Have a taste, and prepare to be amazed". I lifted my glass, and made a toast, "to the horney unicorn". We both sipped the wine right after.

 

[Najia]

Cherise

Najia took the glass and used it to wash down the bite of bread. Her eyes opened wide and she then took another drink.

"Why, this is marvelous!," She said as she gave Creeps a smile of approval,"I bet you would draw many people to the inn with this as your specialty."

"Though I have traveled to many lands and tasted many drinks I have never tasted something as delicious as this. Where did you learn to make this?"

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

I looked at my empty glass, "I learnt the ways of wine from my father. The, 'blood of moon', was an old family recipe, or wine mix. I know other types to, but this is my favorite one of all. When my father died, I dared not to ever drink, or make wine ever again. Except for now. I think my knowledge of wine is the only way to save the Horny Unicorn now". I cheered up a bit, "I think I'll save a wish for later".

 

[Najia]

Cherise

Cherise handed the goblet to Creeps as well as the rest of the bread. Sitting back, she wrapped her arms around her knees and balanced herself on the log.

"Ahh, something I did not know about you," She said with a soft laugh,"You had better watch it or you might end up actually talking to me." She laughed again to let him know she was joking.

"You have two more wishes, however, use them wisely."

 

[Isolde]

Isolde shook her head at Kitsuke as he disappeared into the woods. Her short bath turned into a long swim however, as she could not resist the feel of the water about her naked body.

It was a long time later that she finally emerged from the stream and sat down to dry in the sun, braiding her wet hair in its now familiar braid.

Finally she put on her clothes and went to her bags to extract the spear there that was collapsable just like her bow and arrow. Setting it together, she waded into the stream and held still, waiting for a fish to dart out before she stabbed down with her spear.

After only a few minutes, though, she begin to worry about Kitsuke. He had been gone an aweful long time.

 

[MrSand]

OOC

Hello, it's me. No, for your information, I did not die. My old crappy computer blew up (long story) and I was without a way to get onto the net for some time. Yet now I have returned!

So, um... what's going on?

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

I stood up, "well, I suppose we should get going now, Isolde shouldn't be too far. I estimate that we will reach her by sunset". I walked across the forest path, and enjoyed the view. Cherise also began to see beuaty in these woods. I could tell by looking at her... closely. She was beautiful... who was I kidding, how could she even consider falling in love with a thief like me. As crossed the secod river, we saw movement in the distance. It was Isolde. She was a spec in distance, but i knew it was her. However, I was to far to see what she was doing, "C'mon Cherise, don't dwadle, shes right in front of us". We began to make our way toward them.

 

[Isolde]

*hugs the stuffins out of ya*

Hey, hon..you were sorely missed...well, as far as I know..Isolde threw the keys of the inn to you and gave it to you but Creeps wants to be the one to reopen it...your marriage is still pending and Kitsuke bested Isolde and they are married by the rites of the barbarian tribes and are now in the treebeast forest which has just been decimated due to a disease.

Creeps met a friend of Isolde and Neale's....Cherise who is a battle mage..they are all off to find Isolde cause rumor has it that she has been kidnapped by a demon instead of bested and married.

And BRAT is going to meet Rolland who has joined us.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in 'How the Stomach Churns' lol

 

[MrSand]

Mergale the Dreadful

Mergale stared mournfully outside the window of the carriage as the Princess's caravan trundled onwards towards the holy city of Arasbierre to the south. Since Isolde's inn couldn't possibly hold the thousands of guests who would be arriving, it was decided that the ceremony was to take place back in the Grand Cathedral of the holy city.

Mergale sighed and stared at his "fiancee," who was seated beside him resting her accursed head on his shoulder. The miserable woman had her arms wrapped around his, and was snoozing comfortably.

"Most likely dreaming of cute little bunnies and sheep," muttered the Dark Lord mockingly. He considered strangling her while she slept, but he quickly dismissed the idea. His groin still ached from the swift kick she had given him earlier.

His evil eyes fell upon the scene outside the window once more. Mergale snarled as the caravan passed a flock of pilgrims on their way to Arasbierre. The filthy creatures waved and shouted in glee, praising the Princess and the Army of Light.

"Kiss my ASS YOU UNWASHED HEATHEN PRICKS!!!" He shouted, waving his middle finger at them. Mergale suddenly gasped in pain as the Princess slammed her elbow into his ribs.

"Don't tease the poor pilgrims, dear," she reprimanded.

"Urk..." Mergale rubbed his aching side. DAMN she was strong! "Bitch..."

 

[The_high_king]

ahh...

ooc: I can clearly see that Mergale has no sexual attraction to the princess of light whatsoever. Oh well.

 

[Isolde]

OOC: High King, Isolde and Kitsuke are not together. He is hunting in the woods.

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Thorr had just left Creeps and Cherise a little while earlier, thinking to get some fresh game for breakfast, then make an early start tracking down his sister and her abductor, the demon. By an amazing coincidence, he picked the very game trail on which Kitsuke was tracking down some meat for him and his new wife.

Thorr spotted Kitsuke, and called out to him, "Ho! Little guy from sister's bar! Thorr know you! Seen Thorr's sister, Isolde, around?"

 

[MrSand]

OOC

To High King: It isn't that he isn't sexually attracted to her; he is.

It's just that he has an undying venemous hatred for her and wishes that she would die a slow and painful death.

Oh well...

 

[Neale]

OOC

Ah... twue wuv... brings a tear to me eye, it does...

 

[Najia]

Cherise

Cherise was enjoying the walk through the woods with Creeps. It was nice to let down your hair once in awhile. She hadnt even realized that they had lost Thorr quite awhile ago.

She was startled to hear Creeps calling to her about finding Isolde. In fact she was kind of disappointed. Oh well, all good things, etc. etc.

Picking up her pace at the thief's request she moved toward where Isolde stood, waving to her and calling her name.

 

[kitsuke]

Kitsuke

Relieved that his company was the huge barbarian from the bar and not some unnamed forest terror. Setting his bow back across his shoulder he knelt down and began to tie the deer for transport. Looking up at Thor he replied:

"Yes Thorr-san. Isolde-chan is now my aisai. I took her yesterday. Now we are going back to my homeland." he replied in a bit of an excited voice, not really paying attention to Thorr's reaction...

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

The convoy reached the holy city of Arasbierre a few hours later. Mergale was feeling extremely low, but then his spirits were lifted when the pathetic citizenry of the city drew a collective gasp as he exited the carriage with the Princess of Light hanging on his arm.

"Oh goody," he thought. "I do love to create a scandal..."

"M-Ma-Majest?!" squealed the High Cardinal of the Grand Cathedral. "What is h-h-HE doing here?!!"

The Princess blinked in confusion before answering. "Oh. He's my new fiance. We're going to get married tonight."

There were gasps of shock and horror throughout the assembled crowd, and even a few of the elderly fainted. Mergale was beginning to feel a whole lot better...

"But he is MERGALE THE DREADED!!! DARK LORD OF THE NORTHERN LANDS!!! DESTROYER OF INNOCENTS!!! DEFILER OF THE PURE!!! SECOND TIER OF THE DARK TRINITY!!!" shouted the red faced High Cardinal.

The Princess shrugged. "So?'

"So?!" shouted one of the priests. "He is evil incarnate! You can't choose him as your consort! Such an unholy alliance would ruin the basic structure of the Universe! Order will collapse! Chaos will rule!"

The High Cardinal stepped forwards and put his wrinkled hands on the Princess's shoulders. "Your Majesty... let us be reasonable about this. You are the weilder of the Light's power in this world... that creature," He spat in Mergale's direction, "is an agent of the Darkness which seeks to plunge the world into eternal despair... You can not marry him!"

The Princess, throughout his speech, was becoming steadily angrier. She soon passed her limit when the Cardinal had basically ordered her not to marry.

"Look here," said the Princess in a commanding voice. She stepped forwards and jabbed a finger at the Cardinal's wrinkled face, causing the old man to stagger back in fear. "I am the incarnation of the Light's holy prescence. That means that what I say goes. If I wish to marry a cow, a duck, or the devil himself," She turned and smiled at Mergale before turning her attention back to the cowering Cardinal, "then I will do so."

The Princess and the High Cardinal glared daggers at each other, and many in the crowd were in shock at the display. Soon the Cardinal took his attention away from his Leige, and turned his glare upon an amused Mergale.

"And what do you have to say about yourself, demon?" he asked. "Do you really intend to go through with this ludicrous plan?"

Mergale was deadly silent for a bit before breaking out into a frightening smile. He strolled forwards until he was between the Princess and the Cardinal. "Sure, why not?" He gave the Princess a playful smack on the butt, then continued down the red carpet towards the entrance of the city.

A Princess of Light, a Grand Cardinal, and a crowd of onlookers and soldiers stared wide-eyed at him in shock.

But inside Mergale was laughing. He was laughing because he had seen a way to vanquish his enemies from the inside. It was obvious that the Holy Order of Divine Priests within the city, led by that withered old High Cardinal, was not very enraptured with their current Weilder of Light. If, say, a power struggle would occur between the two factions (the Order led by the Cardinal and the Army led by the Princess) then the forces of Good would be greatly weakened.

"Then," he muttered to himself. "Then the Darkness will consume all..."

The streets of Arasbierre echoed for the first time with the peals of incideous megalomaniacal laughter.

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Here is what Kitsuke said: "Yes Thorr-san. Isolde-chan is now my aisai. I took her yesterday. Now we are going back to my homeland."

Here is what Thorr understood: "Yes Thorrson. Isolde chained, is now my ass. I raped her yesterday. Now I am carrying her off to my homeland."

Thorr remembered what he had been told about Isolde, how she had been taken captive by some demon who resembled a recent arrival in town. With an incredible leap of logic, for Thorr, he deduced that Kitsuke must be that demon!

The massive barbarian growled, screaming "Evil outsider scum not take Thorr's sister! Kill! Maim! Destroy!" Giant-Cleaver glowed red from the air friction along its blade as Thorr swung at Kitsuke. The story would have ended right then and there if Kitsuke had not possessed near-superhuman reflexes, enabling him to dive awkwardly out of the way. "Stand still, spawn of evil creatures! Thorr rescue Isolde from yellow devil!"

Thorr proceeded to chase Kitsuke around the area, occasionally chopping down entire trees with one sweep of his mighty sword, all the while hurling vile epithets at the noble warrior.

 

[kitsuke]

Kitsuke

"AIGH!" Kitsuke yelled out as Thorr swung the huge balde at him. "What in Jigoku's name are you doing Thorr?"

Dodging between the meager cover of trees as best he could Kitsuke drew his own, not wanting to use it on his new brother-in-law, but not wanting to get cut in half either. He'd just have to bide his time and look for an opportunity to disable Thoor if possible. No way he was going back to Isolde and saying 'Sorry honey, your brother went homocidal and I had to kill him.'

With the way trees were falling it might not even be Thorr that got him though, if one of those beasts caught him he'd be just as dead. 'Have I done something to deserve this?' he thought as Thorr pursued him through the trees.

"Thorr! What is wrong? It was told to me you would be happy about this!! Ancestors... I could use some help about now!" It did not seem that talking to Thorr was going to be much help.

 

[Neale]

Thorr

ooc:I trust no one will get any ideas about stepping in between us... Thorr and Kitsuke are having a terrific time all by themselves

Thorr heard Kitsuke call upon some demon lord, Jig-oh-koo, and he rushed to the attack before the summoning could be completed. Obviously, this demon prince, Kitsuke, was possesed of remarkable diabolic powers, since he had managed to evade all of Thorr's blows so far...

 

[Roland Gilliad]

ooc; With the Disaster, Home troubles, and a good deal of Chocolate Milk, I am now thoroughly confused. ^_^()

So, Just STICK ME Somewhere...weather it be bumping into Thorr or Falling out of a tree on top of someone. Just SOMTHING Would be nice so I can play a little bit without having my wits muddled.

Danke.