The Horny Unicorn

[Guest]

OOC:
Welcome one and all to the Horny Unicorn! Come in and have a ale or a sip of dwarven whiskey! Passing through and in need of a room for a night or two? C'mon in! Imoen and Isolde will set you up good and proper. Ale or lodging, see Imoen for sure. Extracurricular entertainments? Wellllllllll you will need to go through Isolde for that, Imoen will only chase you out with a broom. *L*

The part of the bouncer is already promised, but feel free to apply for the wenches.. *ahem* I mean waitress positions. And of course, as with any good Inn/Tavern, customers are always welcome!


IC:
The Horny Unicorn

The wooden sign swung too and fro in the gentle breeze as she swept the front entrance. Imoen glanced up at it, the pride shining in her eyes. It had been a long and tedious year, but it was opening at last. Her very own Inn and Tavern. Actually, it was hers and Isolde's, her partner and not to mention her best friend. Opening their own buisness had been a dream of theirs ever since she could remember, and finally their dream was coming true. A happy grin spread Imoen's lips as she continued to clean the already spotless stoop. Her head lifted with a welcoming smile as a group of racuous men passed by. The smile faded to that of a annoyed frown as they laughed heartily, pointing and guffawing at the swinging sign.

"I thought you were going to open a tavern, lil'Immy, not a brothel!" called Ian, the vain, cocky raven-haired one of the group, causing the rest of the group to dissolve into peals of laughter.

Glaring at him harshly, Imoen waved her broom in their direction, shooing them away. "G'on! Go away! As if anyone of you cretins can read regardless! It's a perfectly good name! Don't let me see your shadow cross my doorway, Ian Smithers or I'll have you thrown out! Don't think I won't!!"

The men scoffed as they continued on their way, their laughter fading into the distance. Imoen's angry frown softened into one of worry as she gave thought to her threat. Exactly how would she and Isolde throw out the trouble makers? In this town, there were bound to be plenty. She rolled her eyes at the thought. Sighing softly, it was definitely something she would need to bring up with Isolde. They needed some muscle to back up her threats, and if they were to open this eve as planned, they needed it fast!

 

[The_high_king]

Can I join?

I am a half-elf. I am 6'1, black hair, brown eyes, and my name is Huck. I work as a thief, (very, VERY experienced thief), and I am also quite the marksman. My nickname is "Creeps". I carry a shortsword, and a crossbow. I'm male, (should have mentioned that earlier), and I am a good guy.

As walk into the "The horny Unicorn" I noticed something evil in the air, but I couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. I order a glass of water, and a roasted chicken. I walk towards the dartboard, ( I don't know if they had these in the medieval age), and decide to practice. I pick some darts, then threw everyone one of them expertly, forming a perfect happy face on the dartboard.

ooc: I can help the bouncer kick some troublemaker ass later.

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

I sigh in relief as Grilam leaves. Although having another evil type around was slightly comforting, it was also rather annoying. We evil beings don't particularly get along, and as such were always destroying each other for no particularly good reason.

I shrug and serve the other customers drinks, my evil mind forming diabolical plots to win back my power and gain vengeance on that loathesome Princess of Luminescence...

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

I practiced some more until i heard, "your chickens ready". I grab a table that was next to a old noble who was rambling about the wenches not wenching, or something rather. I steal a gold coin from him since stealing all his coins would start a ruckus. I didn't worry, he had plenty, and i don't think he would notice one coin missing. Then I started to think if there was wenching here or not, but preferred to keep my mouth shut. While listening to while they asked.
I noticed a young peasent ask, then he got kicked out. I guess the answers no. I kick back, and enjoy my chicken.

 

[The_high_king]

huh

ooc:What happened to this story. Dosn't anyone care about this story?

 

[THEBRAT]

Charlene

ooc I didn't forget about this thread just had some things to do.

ic
The one that I turned his Right Arm into a Roast Pig is going away good I watch him as he goes he leaves.I Smirk as he walks past me he will be back sooner than he thinks he will be.

I look back into the bar at Mergale and laugh to myself.I say a Transportation spell so that I am behind Mergale now and laugh!

How did you like meeting my Cousin The Princess of Luminescence sickening sweet is she not?

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

Cousin?!!

The glass I was polishing drops out of my numb hands and falls onto the wooden floor, shattering to pieces. I quickly whirl around and grab the girl by the shoulder.

"Who the fuck are you?!" I snarl into her face. "Did that miserable Princess send you after me? Are you one of her pathetic servants? ANSWER ME!!!"

In order to make my prescence seem a tad bit more frightening, I turn on the glow in my eyes and lengthen my fangs.

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

ic: seeing what was going down between the two magic users, I grab the rest of my chicken, and slowly inch into the darkest corner of the inn. I dissapeared from everyones view, unnoticed. My cloack of non-detection protected me from magical detection, but only magical detection, nothing more. The rest depended on my stealth skills. I was practically invisible. I watched as the huge bouncer prepared to kick out the two trouble makers, "this could get interesting", I thought.

 

[THEBRAT]

Charlene

I am not here to take you back to my Cousin I hate her just as much as you do if not more!

Think back to when you had the misfortune of being captured by my sickening sweet Cousin!

Where there not two thrones there? One of Lightness my Cousin was sitting on & the other of Darkness was it empty?

I am The Princess of Darkness!

I hate my Cousin so much that Very soon I will put this whole land to nothing but Waste Land.

Mergale you tell me!Why would I even consider helping her?

I laugh out loud you tring to frighten ME.

 

[The GrandMage]

Grilam

He knew better than to leave two dark forces alone without knowing what they were up to. After he left town, he sat down and casts a spell to allow him to hear them talk. By this time, he was coughing and sputtering.

He worked his way back to his feet, and went back into town. If the evil he thought was brewing, he'd best join in before it was too late. He was Lord Grilam, one of the most evil creatures in existence, and he wasn't going to let an evil that could crush the council rise up with out him. He managed to burst back into the bar just as Mergale was reacting to this news.

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

"Really?" I mutter. "Princess of Darkness you say?"

I laugh and turn around, picking up another glass and polishing it. "Whatever. Just leave me alone. I'll find a way to get my power back myself; I don't need your help."

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Thorr looks carefully at the newcomer, the magic-using female. "Hoy! Princess of Dorkness chick! You not go behind bar. Not nice. Thorr not want to bounce pretty girl. Imoen might get mad. Isolde might get mad!" The giant barbarian shuddered at the memory of the last time his sister was actually angry with him. That scar still ached when it rained...

 

[The GrandMage]

He snapped his fingers. Mergale wouldn't fall for it. Dang. He slipped back out before he was noticed.

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

ic: I calmed down a bit knowing that there wasn't going to be any trouble. I look at the barbarian body guard, "wait a minute", I think to myself,"I know that guy, I saved his arse from a hill giant once". I remembered it like it was yesterday, hell, it was yesterday. He was taking on three hill giants. He bashed the head of the first one, and threw a axe into the back of another one. The third one was about to bash him on the back of his head unnoticed. Thats when I pitched in, I shot crossbow bolt into its spinal cord, killing it instantly. The barbarian started to talk to me about how he could of beaten them all without my help, and then he said thank you, then we both went on our merry ways. I decided to greet him later, after the mage had cooled down a bit.

ooc: Who here knows what happened to Imoen?

 

[The_high_king]

the mystery is solved.

ooc: I've just recieved word that Imoen has been busy, and will be back to continue this thread tommorow night. Have fun till then.

 

[THEBRAT]

Charlene

It does not astonish me that you don't even know of my very existance as The Great Council turned me The Princess of Darkness into a baby!

Also that The Great Palace that you once lived in was mine but there is secret enterance of which nobody but myself knows and it will stay known only to myself.

I am not at all surprised that you did not see the two Thrones for only a person of true Evil would have been able to see both Thrones at all.

It seems that Mergale The Dark Lord of The Northern Lands is no more well that is good one down.

Barbarian I go where I want to go not where some Barbarian simpleton tells me to go! So if you want to try to fight me go ahead!I am not known as The Head Basher for nothing so if you want to wake up with a Giant Sized Headache go a head!

Barbarian what is your name for you are Truely A Brave Man to Challenge me?

One of The Great Council tying to sneek away he looks familiar know who is he?

AH yes Lord Griliam you shall pay a very Heavy Price for what you and The Great Council have done to me!

Do you remeber my vow of Vengance on the day that The Great Council turned me into a baby?

what I would do to each and everyone of The Great Council that took part?

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

ic: "I don't like the looks of this", thinks Creeps as he chows down on his chicken wing.

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

"Hmph," I mutter. "I don't know what this nutty girl is talking about. I'm just Mervin the bartender. See... I'm tending the bar as we speak..."

I continue to polish glasses.

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Thorr looks at the Princess of Darkness, trying hard not to laugh in her face. He fails miserably, and bursts out with gales of laughter.

"Thorr like you, little girl! Head Basher!" He laughs even harder. "Puny little girl smash head! That so funny! Last magick chick that try cast spell on Thorr wind up having Thorr babies! Thorr got BIG staff for magich chick!"

Evidently, this sorceress had never encountered a barbarian quite like Thorr. He was so aggressively NON-magickal, except for a few items, that spells simply didn't affect him, save for some minor collateral damage from evocation spells. His armor was thoroughly enchanted by the highest barbarian priests, with the aid of their very gods, and would readily reflect any hostile magic cast upon him. Even if this truly were a major evil enchantress, she would not be the first to fall at his hands.

He caught sight of Imoen, and promptly forgot all about the funny girl.

 

[THEBRAT]

Charlene

Why Thorr Laugh at me?

Thorr you Giant Nutcase I don't use Magic to Fight Muscles better to fight with.Only weaklings fight with magic Thorr not heard bigger you are harder you fall.

Thorr I'm going to Knock your Head off of your Shoulders I run the to kitchen.An bring back an Iron Skillit and lay into Thorr with it hitting his Knees Arms Elbows anything that I can reach.As Thorr bends over to try to catch me I knock him on top of his Head with the Iron Skillit.

I YELL I am NOT Funny Puny Little Girl!!

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

ic: I fire a crossbow bolt at the skillet, embedding the bolt deep inside a wall with a skillet hanging from the tip. Damn, now they nedded to buy a new skillet, "I think you should leave now lady", I said calmly as I prepared to load another bolt.

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Thorr was lost in admiration of Imoen when the new girl came at him with an iron skillet. The enraged woman struck at him wildly, her blows showing great enthusiasm and spirit, if not so very much skill. Thorr wondered if he should bounce this person, but had received no such instruction from his employers. The giant was being to be annoyed by this buffeting when a crossbow bolt, fired with unearthly skill, plucked the skillet from her grasp, and fixed it to the far wall, the bolt nicely fitting through a hole in the handle. Thorr whipped his head around to see his old comrade, Creeps, whom he had not seen in ages.

Turning briefly back to the very, very angry young lady, Thorr rumbled in a merry tone, "Thorr like you, girl! Remind me of sisters! Good, strong arms, fire in spirit! You be good now, hokay? Maybe Isolde give you job." He then walked over to Creeps, clapping a ham-sized hand on his old friend's shoulder with not quite enough force to knock him from his seat. "Creeps! Hokay, by damn! Good to see you! Come see Merwin. We drink lots of ale!"

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

"I am not getting in the middle of it, I am merely the bartender, nothing more," I tell myself as I ignore the chaos occurring between the barbarian and the sorceress. I continue polishing glasses until Thorr and the man with the crossbow sit at the bar and order drinks.

"Yes, I serve drinks, for I am a mere bartender," I say, passing several tankards of ale to the barbarian and his companion. "Nope, no evil Dark Lords here; just me, Mervin, the lowly barkeep."

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

ic: "Ages Thorr, ages? it was only yesterday, and you know I don't drink alcohol". Thorr then ordered a jug of ale, and a glass of warm milk. I could hear Mergale mumbling about bartending, or whatnot, "relax Mergale, at least you don't have to worry about heroes who want to kill you, and you don't even have to worry about much except beer now", a say to him. "Hell, you should be happy with all those worrys off your back". I then direct my attention back to Thorr, "So, how have you been?"

 

[The GrandMage]

Grilam

He was spotted. Dang. Oh well. He never used the name 'Grilam' when on the council, and members of said annoying party of goodie-goodies didn't get titles like 'Lord'.

He had been thrown of the council, again, during the 'Princess of Darkness' episode, of as he liked to call it, 'How I was allowed back on the Council only to find we had a new sunroof and two less members'.

And, finally, he was really gone. He wasn't staying around here. A Lord of Evil hiding, and a supposed Princess of Darkness who showed about as much sense as a wizard's apprentice.

He summoned a one-use portal, and was of to the former headquaters of Mergale's evil, to scrounge up a few peices a evil that were left in the area.