The Horny Unicorn

[THEBRAT]

Charlene

I walk out of Kitchen and watch Mervin talking to Thorr he is up to something I may once have been Princess of Darkness at one time but I not stupid!

I run to find Isolde and tell her of Bartender Engineering a Fight between Kyoushuku & Thorr!Mervin tell Thorr that Kyoushuku is here to ask Imoen to marry him it make Thorr Angery!

I will ask Creepy Person to help me? If that not work I ask permission to be Giant Thorn in Thorr's Side?

I will take care of the Bartender old fashion way beat him up with a Rolling Pin!

 

[Roland Gilliad]

( A Man is gone for three days and he loses track of everything...^_^;;;;;; Can anyone gimmie a hand?)

 

[The_high_king]

Roland Gilliard

ooc: heres what you missed in note form.
-Imoen hasn't posted in a while
-I am a new character. A thief.
-The princess of darkness is here, as a employee
-Another evil guy is a bartender
-Thorr might have beef with the samurai
-My character is putting on a show, and Isolde is my assistant
-A few threads back the princess of darkness was causing trouble
-I'm Thorr's buddy
-A skillet was broken from my crossbow bolt

I think thats it. If i missed anything, then read what you missed.
I'll be gone tommorow, but I'll be back at night.

 

[MrSand]

"Is there something I can assist you with? I am obviously foreign and I must ask if the finger you pointed at me was the same deadly insult it is in my homeland." The Easterner then put his hand on his nasty looking blade.

I quickly gulp audibly and begin polishing glasses in a panic. Thinking quickly, I say to the man in his home language, "Oh no, I meant no disrespect. The gesture you misinterpreted was one of high praise and honor. I was merely telling Thorr that I had met many warriors such as yourself on my travels, and knew them to be very noble and honorable..."

Of course, I had slaughtered the band of Eastern merceneries I had met for that exact same reason, but I wasn't about to tell him this...

 

[kitsuke]

"You are a politician, yes?" I ask, "Men of such quality are rare where I am from, and invariably thus is their vocation."


To the large man again, "I have heard that in the wildlands there were ogres that were not ogres, and other such tales. Childish fancy or mad ravings I had thought. Perhaps those of my people who chose to explore had merely observed your people, and been too.... timid to approach. I wonder, are your people that savage, or what is more likely, the 'explorer' did not think and assumed you were evil creatures from your size. No matter, as long as no harm is offered, I offer none in return."

"I also approach to ask you gentlemen if you know where the lodgings here can be found... the Lady had business to attend I imagine, and could not stay to direct me."

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Thorr laughed heartily at the funny little people. The very idea that Imoen would pick someone else was against the very foundations of Thorr's mind-set. "Imoen!" he bellowed. From outside, where she had been interviewing people for the entertainer's position, she yelled back, "What?!!"

Thorr stepped outside, followed by the more curious of the people from inside. "Thorr think you be good wife for Thorr. You come with me?" Imoen looked totally astonished at his words, but eyed him appreciatively. She smiled, "Can we live in town? Can you afford that?" Thorr's laughter boomed out across the street as he reached for a pouch at his belt. Opening it, he poured out a quantity of gold much larger than it could possibly have held. "Dragon had lots of gold. Weak neck, and lots of gold!" At the glittering sight, Imoen's eyes lit up.

"Hokay, we have wedding party right here!" He chucked the bag of gold to Isolde. Imoen looked at him strangely as he threw away the fortune, and he chuckled. "Plenty more, Imoen! Lots of dragons dead!"

 

[Imoen]

OOC: Geeeeeeez! I go away for a couple ( okay, a few) days and I come back to find myself engaged?! To a bunnying-barbarian no less!!!!

Hokay! Works for me! *L*

IC:

Imoen shakes her head fiercely to clear the moment of insanity that obviously overtook her.

"Nah-hunh-uh! I think NOT!" Her mind was whirling with possible ideas to get her out of this mess. Her eyes flared wide as a thought occured to her.

"Let me make this simple for you, Thorr. I cannot possibly be expected to marry anyone without an engagement ring, let alone a proper lenghty engagement." She nodded vehemently to give emphasis to her words, her gaze searching out Isolde, silently imploring her assistance and support.

"And not just any old boring engagement ring, mind you." She states as she paces back and forth along the length of bar. "No, no, that would never do! It must be a very special ring, yes.. a very special ring. One worthy of our ... b-bond." She verbally tripped over the last word as her eyes widened in fright at the thought of their coupling, by the gods he was freaking HUGE!

"The scrying stone! Yes! That would be purrrrrrrrrrrrfect!"

"You shouldn't have any difficulty whatsoever in retrieving it, Thorr. Simple actually. It's located at the pinnacle of Mt. Whatever, guarded by a red dragon, a scattering of stone giants and hordes of killer bunnies!"

 

[Arius]

Darinth

A man of medium build, bedecked within a dark blue hooded cloak enters the shadow of the doorway to the inn. A thin stream of brown hair crosses his forehead as the mantle of his cloak conceals his face. Resting on his right hip is a sheathed long sword while opposite this a short sword sleeps in the left scabbard, he looks about the Inn to the Patrons and the barmaids. Walking to the bar he places two gold coins upon the counter. He rests a gloved hand next to coins as he looks about for the keeper of the Bar. His voice icy and soft as he speaks "An interesting lot this is. Perhaps a short stay here would ail me." says he looking out toward the rainy evening.He then turns back to the bar, his grey eyes scanning about.

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

I paused for a moment after hearing Thorr's proposal to Imoen. Then, I continue practicing again. I thought Imoen could handle things from here.

ooc: tell me when Creeps is supposed to start his show.

 

[kitsuke]

*eyes flare at Imoen's last comment*

"You say this dragon has vicious rabbit creatures for guardians? These oni are the beings responsible for me being lost so far from home! Please... I beg of you, allow me to acompany you to the cursed peak, that I might extract vengeance and possibly find a way home!", having said this he prostrated himself on the floor before Thorr and Imoen and remained still.


*entertains thoughts of killing carnivorous lagomorphs*

"All oni must die, it is my duty."

 

[The GrandMage]

OOC: Killer Bunnies?

Anyone know where we can find the 'Holy Grenade'?

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'


And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

Scrying Stone?!!

These impudent whelps know of the scryings stone and its location?!!

My evil mind flared at the posiblilities... if I were to get my hands on that Totem of Power, I could regain some of my lost strength. It wouldn't be as much power as I held previously, but compared to my pathetic state now, it would be enough! With the scrying stone in my hands, I could easily search out for other Totems, gaining power as I go along.

It will be glorious!!!

"Thorr!" I shout out suddenly, patting the big man on the back. "As your friend and loyal confidant, I shall accompany you on this mission!"

At the barbarian's confused look, I sigh and say, "Me come too."

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

I heard the whole killer rabbit thing. I couldn't help, but laugh, "Oh, Imoen, you crack me up", I thought to myself. I would have stayed here, If hadn't heard Mergale was joining Thorr's little treasure hunt. I didn't trust Mergale, so I also decided to follow along, just to watch Thorr's back,"wait Thorr, I'm coming to". I put down my throwing knives, and pick up my crossbow, and a whole bunch of different items.

ooc: This new avatar will have to do for now. until I can find a new one.

 

[kitsuke]

Straightening up, a smile spreads over Kitsuke's face, "I may get to go home after all, and who can be certain perhaps I may find hidenka as well?"

After checking to be certain his gear was secure, he faced the door and waited for the journey to begin.


Those who know the eastern tongue would recognize hidenka to mean princess...

 

[Neale]

Thorr

Thorr had tried to be subtle and suave in his proposal to Imoen. In his homeland, courtship was primarily a vicious fight, an abduction, and a night of bloodily passionate lovemaking. Should both parties survive the night, the barbarian gods would bless their union. However, he understood that the refined cosmopolitan women of the civilized lands expected something different. He wasn't sure just what that was, but he had tried.

When Imoen expressed disapproval of his suit, he was momentarily crushed, but cheered up significantly when she explained her reasoning, saying
"Let me make this simple for you, Thorr. I cannot...marry...without an... ring...And not just any old boring...ring...No, no, that would never do! It must be a very special ring, yes.. a very special ring...The scrying stone! Yes! That would be purrrrrrrrrrrrfect!...You shouldn't have any...in...it, Thorr. Simple...It's..at the...Mt. Whatever, guarded by a red dragon, a...of stone giants and hordes of killer bunnies!"

At least, that was the part he understood. The very thought of facing the killer bunnies was nearly enough to unman him. He didn't know the meaning of the word fear, or dread, alarm, cold feet, consternation, dismay, fright, horror, panic, terror, trepidation, trepidity, apprehension, foreboding, misgiving, presentiment,
angst, anxiety, concern, worry, agitation, discomposure, disquietude, perturbation, chickenheartedness, cowardice, cowardliness, faintheartedness, timidity, timorousness, funk, or scare... Okay, so there were LOTS of words he didn't know the meaning of.

Still, he could think of many other things he would rather be doing than facing those vicious bastards, with their horrible fangs and vicious, floppy ears. Unfortunately, looking at Imoen also robbed him of the meaning of the phrase "Hell, fucking NO!," so he simply said... "Hokay. One order of roast bunny on a stick coming up. Get ring, too!"

The chorus of people wishing to accompany him on his ring quest surprised him. This might turn out to be fun, after all! "Hokay! Mighty bunny hunters, we! Must get supplies first. Bunny hunting very thirsty work..."

 

[Isolde]

Isolde caught the bag of coins that Thorr threw to her and tucked it into the waist band of her skirt.

Counting to ten, she then pretended like he had never given her anything since she knew her brother's memory couldnt last past that count unless it was something to do with fighting, slaying and wenching. And the wenching seemed to be out now that he had gotten stuck on Imoen.

Then all of a sudden it seemed that the whole inn would clear out with those that wanted to go on the quest with Thorr. Sidling up to Imoen, she said,"Good going, partner! Not only do you get rid of my brother but the whole of our customers, employees and the occasional man on the street. What now? We either go with him and make sure he doesnt get the ring, and dont think I dont know you well enough to know you are hoping you set him an impossible task, or we sit in an empty tavern."

I shrugged. "Of course we could always opt for the 'pack our things and move to the farthest town while their backs are turned' thing but we sunk way too much money in this place to do that."

 

[The GrandMage]

Brent, Royal Baker

Unlike some other people, he was a completely normal human individual. Not a barbarian, or a retired lord of evil, he was quite simply a baker, son of a baker, and so forth, on and on. Who happened to be in possession of the Holy Grenade of Antioch, the one weapon which worked against killer bunnies. It wasn't as if he had gone looking for the thing, he'd just...found it one day. It hung in a small pouch at his side, and was unable to be noticed unless he told someone he had it.

He had been standing in the doorway for a few minutes, listening to the great warriors talk of grand quests. He simply went to the bar, and, noticing the bartender was going with them, he reached over, and made himself a tankard of ale, laying some money on the bar for whomever ran the establishment.

He was a simple man, and had dropped in to get a drink, and, seeing as the only females he could see in the place looked to be in charge, he planned to leave after that. He pulled out a small pouch, rummaging through the coins in it. He grimmanced. If he was lucky, he could afford to get a cheap wench before he got back to work. He was the head Baker of the castle. He was in charge of the King's favorite food- bread. It gave him a place in the castle, a few gold coins a month, a week's vacation a year.

He took a swig of the ale. He was a big man. A little taller and more muscular than most, but that was only from years of lugging around sacks of flour and piles of wood for the stove. He was still dwarfed by the barbarian. A small sigh as he muttered about his need for a good wench and how he'd have to go at least a mile out of his way to find one.

And he hated to travel.

 

[The_high_king]

Creeps

"Wait just a minute, theres something I must do". I walk over to the baker, and pass him a scroll, (which was of course, written by me), and tell him, "Theres going to be a magnificent show this evening, please bring family, and friends. Book your tickets today!". Then I rush out again, "alright, now we can go".

 

[kitsuke]

ooc: high king, where did you get that groovy damn picture under your name from???


ic:
"Ka! This is good, we will slay oni no usagi's until they overwhelm us and we all die, horribly and screaming, rightful honorable deaths!", intently waiting to start marching.

 

[Isolde]

I listened to our next to last customer and turned to Imoen again.

"See....see?! I told you the inn needed wenching but nooooo...you had to go for the 'family fun' theme. Wouldnt hear of even a little wenching after hours and now look at us. Our last customer is going to go to the competetion because you have morals. Give me gold any day I say!"

Addressing the man that had just come in, I added,"What can I get for you, Sir? (Arius). Yeah, you in the blue cloak. It seems our bartender has stepped away for a few months."

 

[THEBRAT]

Charlene

ooc What happened??

Isolde & Imoen we not let employees leave and destroy Tavern!We ambush them with using oldest trick in War Book!

 

[Arius]

Darinth's lips curled to a grin as he watched the commotion about the inn. He nodded toward Isolde his voice soft as he spoke. "Merely an ale will suffice Milady, it would appear that you have far too many troubles this eve for anything but, though I shall admit the entertainment has been most enthralling. My thanks from a traveller of the road to a fine Lady such as thou." He placed a small bag of coins before him. "Please do accept this in thanks for the ale as well as the comedy set before me." He looks about as the inn begins to quiet save a hollow mug rolling across the table. "I would advise you to make haste in accepting this, it would appear that your large and assuming husband to be has set out for the stone you spoke of ahead of you. I doubt not that this arrangement is not suiting to you, worry not about me, I shall fare well enough here."

 

[Isolde]

"Husband To Be?! Mine?!," I say to the newcomer with my eyebrows raised and a look of disbelief on my face. "Nuh uh...as my partner would say. Imoen is the lucky lady to be engaged to that hulk. I am simply the sister...thank the gods!"

Taking the pouch of coins, I take out a few and slide the customer an ale.

"What I took should keep you in your cups for the night, sir. We do not stiff the customer at the Horny Unicorn. But, tell me, where are you from? With manners like that you arent a commoner."

 

[MrSand]

Mergale

"Hmph," I muttered as I listened to Isolde and the banker talk. She was complimenting the whelp on his manners?! My manners were much better than that mortal's, yet where was my smile and pat on the back?

I was about to ignore the two when my devious eyes fell upon an object strapped to the normal looking banker's hip.

"SHIT!!!" I scream out loud. Everyone in the bar turns towards me at hearing my outburst, which made me slightly self-concious. Blushing slightly, I scratch the back of my head and apologize. "Sorry... I, uh... left the hot iron plugged in back at my loft... heh heh heh... er..."

Everyone shook their heads in annoyance at me before turning their attentions back to whatever they were doing. I let out a sigh of relief before turning my evil sights back on the object strapped to the banker's hip.

"The Holy Handgranade of Antioch..." I think to myself. "The only weapon in the Four Realms which can kill a demonic rabbit... with that in my possession, I shall be able to gain control of the Scrying Stone before any of these other fools do..."

I smile deviously. I must have that weapon!

Inching towards the banker, I whisper to him. "May I speak to you privately, sir?"

I motion to the kitchen and ask him to join me.

 

[THEBRAT]

Shirlene

Mervin if you do not leave that man alone I shall make you sorry that you were ever born!

I shall also TAKE great PLEASURE in TELLING everyone YOUR REAL NAME!

I shall be the first in line to see YOU HUNG DRAWN & QUARTERED!

That is not to mention a certain Other Party that is looking for you also!

Are you going to be a good Bartender or a dead Bartender NOW which is it to be?