The LIT Swingers Club

[LizVegas79]

Very interesting thread Lizzie and glad you brought this up. I suppose it is tricky with friends and the good and the bad part both is the same- you know them really well and also like hanging gout with them.

Well, you took it slow and looks like it happened the right way. Looking forward to hear about the next encounter

There are obviously pros and cons to doing it with friends (as Leigh so perfectly described)

Pros
You know and like each other
You trust each other (hopefully)
There has been previous flirting and teasing and/or sexual attraction
Maybe you and your spouse have previously included them in your private sexual fantasies

Cons
You're going to see them again in non-sexual other (i.e., work) situations
Other friends and/or couples might find out and feel left out
If anyone's feelings do get hurt or any jealousies do emerge you're likely to hear about it and be part of the fall out

It is definitely a slippery slope either way. But yeah, I'm already looking forward to and picturing the various possible scenarios of our next encounter too!

We still have never made it to a swingers club but we have swung/swapped with one other couple in the past. We started with the hot wife thing then I explored my bi side. Now the past 5 years we're in what I call a triad type relationship with another woman.
I didn't answer the poll as we would never swing with close long time friends. Really wouldn't want to with total strangers either. I like the way Kimleigh explained how the club works in her situation. I like the idea of doing things on your own first, meeting new couples there & see if you click.

Our swing was with a couple who moved into our neighborhood from out west. We got to know them & we clicked as friends. We had no intention of ever swapping with them but they learned about my GF who lives with us & were both intrigued. We openly chatted a couple of times with the wife admitting she was bi curious. The first time of anything sexual was with us 3 women together with the men only watching.
After that it was primarily just the 4 of us when we swapped. We hung out often but we only swapped a few times. It ended when they announced that they were stopping so they could start a family. Now we're just regular friends with no weirdness between us. I think it could be weird if it was more long time friends.
That is the extent of our swinging.
A swing club is on the bucket list. If we did go we probably wouldn't do anything. I think the furthest we'd go would be going into the big play area & have sex just with each other. That wouldn't happen our first visit though, if we enjoyed ourselves then possibly it would happen on our 2nd visit.

That's so interesting, Leigh.

I totally would have gone down the hot wife road if my husband hadn't been so resistant to it. Had to start out gradually with him, letting him "catch" me in our hot tub with a gorgeous (paid for) blonde for his birthday a few years ago and going from there.

He knew I wanted (and was fully expecting) a special party where I was the only woman for my 40th birthday last year. He ended up NOT putting it together and instead said he owed me. (I was so pissed after all the FFM's I had arranged for us over the past four years!)

So it really was crazy how all this came together so quickly and so out of the blue. Just two guys talking about the coronavirus while doing their security rounds last week leading to bucket lists leading to sexual bucket lists leading to their wives and their friends' wives.

We always sort of suspected that his friend John and his wife Tina might be swingers but I had dropped several hints over the years that we might be interested. They all were ignored so I finally stopped. (although I did keep sitting in John's lap from time to time when he came over to watch football with my husband!)

Turns out they didn't want to "mix business with pleasure" since we all work together and we've all had to sign pretty strict and unforgiving decency clauses in or employment agreements. (the casino biz, at least in Las Vegas, is extra careful about distancing itself from the past when gambling and prostitution were pretty much under the same roof)

I'm looking forward to a little more watching the next time. This past weekend my husband didn't see me with his any of his friends (although he probably heard me lol) and I only saw him being fondled by the two other women but that was it.

It sounds like you worked to keep your communication open and honest with that other couple Leigh, which is probably why or at least part of the reason why there was no lingering animosity or guilt after they decided to quit. That sounds like the perfect situation to me!

Have you heard about the high-end swingers club in NYC Leigh? Someone on LIT told me about it last year but I can't remember what it was called.

Does anyone else know?

Anyways, apparently it attracts an affluent crowd and there are private rooms and a communal play/watch area. I'm like you, I would love to meet the right people and find a nice, clean common play area for others to either watch or be invited to join in.

 

[JerseyJade]

Women - for those of you NOT interested in sharing your husband/bf with other women, is it because you're afraid he secretly thinks she's prettier than you?

For someone like me who has a lot of insecurities, yeah, that would be one of the reasons. I do admit that I get a little jealous, a little angry and feel a little threatened when I see a woman checking out my man, so I can't imagine how I would feel if I knew my man was having sex with another woman, even if I was having sex with another man at the same time. I know it wouldn't be good.

So for someone like me, sharing our partners would probably cause more harm than good. I think couples who feel secure enough with themselves and have a strong relationship with each other, well then I can see it work for them. It just comes down to trust and faith in that having sex with other people would not damage your relationship with your partner. In my case, I think it would.

Maybe what I said is a double standard, but I was just keeping it real. Even if my man suggested that I have sex with one of his friends, I would get very suspicious, because then I would think that would give him a reason to have sex with another woman if he wanted to.

Okay, enough said. What do I know anyway.

 

[LizVegas79]

For someone like me who has a lot of insecurities, yeah, that would be one of the reasons. I do admit that I get a little jealous, a little angry and feel a little threatened when I see a woman checking out my man, so I can't imagine how I would feel if I knew my man was having sex with another woman, even if I was having sex with another man at the same time. I know it wouldn't be good.

So for someone like me, sharing our partners would probably cause more harm than good. I think couples who feel secure enough with themselves and have a strong relationship with each other, well then I can see it work for them. It just comes down to trust and faith in that having sex with other people would not damage your relationship with your partner. In my case, I think it would.

Maybe what I said is a double standard, but I was just keeping it real. Even if my man suggested that I have sex with one of his friends, I would get very suspicious, because then I would think that would give him a reason to have sex with another woman if he wanted to.

Okay, enough said. What do I know anyway.

As always I and I'm sure most everyone else on here very much appreciates your honesty JJ.

Your feelings are NOT unique and YOU ARE 100% ENTITLED TO THEM!! whether a double standard exists or not!!

There's never any right or wrong about how we feel, only about how we act.

If I "made" my husband watch me have sex with another guy when I know it would bother him, even if I "let" him have sex with another woman to make up for it that would not be a healthy choice for our relationship and forcing the issue would be a 1,000% stupid, selfish thing for me to do.

Same if it was vice versa as in your case with your husband.

The "lifestyle" as they call is definitely not for everyone. I can see already that it is a lifestyle and that it's a challenging one and definitely NOT for everyone.

And that's okay. There's no right or wrong about this.

(there might be a little naughty or nice to it but I'm not even sure about that! LOL)

 

[blade_rocknut]

Friends versus strangers is perhaps the deepest conundrum in consensual non monogamy. The scales tip more toward friends for introverts, sapiosexuals, those with anxieties and other oddities, like my gender expression, for instance.

I'm leery af of Facebook groups, but we do maintain a profile on one of the primary lifestyle sites, and have privacy settings such that only paid members can see us. Adult Friend Finder is like the Wal Mart of the lifestyle; chock full of flakes and fakes. Fuck that place. That said; there *are* a lot of gender nonconforming peeps there.

We're in the "same room, full swap" category, by definition. Lots of folks don't do full swap. Some prefer separate rooms, there are hotwife/ cuck couples, vixen/stag couples, and so much more.
I actually really, really enjoy watching my wife receive pleasure. Not to my exclusion; like in a hotwife scenario...I'll be getting mine also, or maybe already have.

I've also learned I really, REALLY enjoy being watched. Especially by strangers. Fucking in front of 50 people? Major turn on.

 

[LizVegas79]

I still tingle whenever I relive those first hesitant, tender touches from this past Saturday ....

https://66.media.tumblr.com/a116b98d0fc90950088079234959478f/tumblr_onl8j4qgQZ1rvt47eo1_540.gifv

First one hand gently running down my back as I heard my name whispered ...

... then another brushing the side of my face and threading my hair between his fingers ....

... then a third hand caressing my ass as my ankles were kicked wider apart ....

... then a fourth hand brushing the other side of my face and gripping my hair ....

... and then the flower of my womanhood being penetrated by a long, fat, pulsing spear ....

... as the warm mushroom tip of another bulbous, marble cock pushed between my lips and down my throat until I could barely breathe ....

(my first orgasm was almost instantaneous since I had been jilling myself before all this while we were all talking and agreeing on the rules of our little party for almost an hour out on the couches in the living room)

 

[catherinewheel77]

An average Friday night at Liz’s domicile...
https://66.media.tumblr.com/f79cbb2c8ed360ac0df2d207686e8a5e/tumblr_pmkov3yCUq1t0h0deo1_500.gifv

 

[hotwords229_A]

An average Friday night at Liz’s domicile...
https://66.media.tumblr.com/f79cbb2c8ed360ac0df2d207686e8a5e/tumblr_pmkov3yCUq1t0h0deo1_500.gifv

GPS coordinates please.

 

[catherinewheel77]

GPS coordinates please.

HW...you shameless whore.

I liiike it.

 

[hotwords229_A]

HW...you shameless whore.

I liiike it.

That pic is my dream come true, but I'd be on my back

 

[catherinewheel77]

That pic is my dream come true, but I'd be on my back

Liz would have you as an appetizer.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Liz would have you as an appetizer.

She can have the appetizer, I'll have the dessert

 

[iaabanag]

I still tingle whenever I relive those first hesitant, tender touches from this past Saturday ....

https://66.media.tumblr.com/a116b98d0fc90950088079234959478f/tumblr_onl8j4qgQZ1rvt47eo1_540.gifv

First one hand gently running down my back as I heard my name whispered ...

... then another brushing the side of my face and threading my hair between his fingers ....

... then a third hand caressing my ass as my ankles were kicked wider apart ....

... then a fourth hand brushing the other side of my face and gripping my hair ....

... and then the flower of my womanhood being penetrated by a long, fat, pulsing spear ....

... as the warm mushroom tip of another bulbous, marble cock pushed between my lips and down my throat until I could barely breathe ....

(my first orgasm was almost instantaneous since I had been jilling myself before all this while we were all talking and agreeing on the rules of our little party for almost an hour out on the couches in the living room)

Lizzie, this deserves a story of its own

 

[AuntJess]

My first husband introduced me to this lifestyle. It was so exciting the first time around and after that day, he was an un caged animal which was suddenly given it's freedom. I gave up my back door for the first time.

 

[LizVegas79]

An average Friday night at Liz’s domicile...
https://66.media.tumblr.com/f79cbb2c8ed360ac0df2d207686e8a5e/tumblr_pmkov3yCUq1t0h0deo1_500.gifv

Stop spreading lies you dirty slut! The party wasn't at our house, we were invited over to someone else's.

(and it was a lot nicer place than that weird art studio dump in that picture too! lol)

However, I'm not saying a five girl/one guy Friday night "book club" is beyond the realm of possibility at my place

She can have the appetizer, I'll have the dessert

Awww, I love being called dessert! So will I get icing on my cake?

 

[LizVegas79]

I still tingle whenever I relive those first hesitant, tender touches from this past Saturday ....

https://66.media.tumblr.com/a116b98d0fc90950088079234959478f/tumblr_onl8j4qgQZ1rvt47eo1_540.gifv

First one hand gently running down my back as I heard my name whispered ...

... then another brushing the side of my face and threading my hair between his fingers ....

... then a third hand caressing my ass as my ankles were kicked wider apart ....

... then a fourth hand brushing the other side of my face and gripping my hair ....

... and then the flower of my womanhood being penetrated by a long, fat, pulsing spear ....

... as the warm mushroom tip of another bulbous, marble cock pushed between my lips and down my throat until I could barely breathe ....

(my first orgasm was almost instantaneous since I had been jilling myself before all this while we were all talking and agreeing on the rules of our little party for almost an hour out on the couches in the living room)

Lizzie, this deserves a story of its own

That pretty much WAS the whole story iaabanag. They started pawing me and I started quivering from the inside out!

My first husband introduced me to this lifestyle. It was so exciting the first time around and after that day, he was an un caged animal which was suddenly given it's freedom. I gave up my back door for the first time.

Perfect way to describe mine afterwards too Jess - he's been an uncaged animal this week!

So I take it you've remarried? Do you mind if I ask if you have the same sort of open relationship with your current husband, or no? And if not, does he know about your "lifestyle" choices when you were with your first husband?

It's been so interesting to me this week to have my relationship with this group of friends that I previously thought I knew evolve into a whole new re-invented and re-energized dynamic. Did you have that experience too?

 

[Lorelei907]

Pics or it didn’t happen, Lizzie.

We’ve talked a number of times about adding a third, a threesome seems to be everybody’s fantasy. But our biggest concern is the risk of an emotional attachment and the damage that could be caused in our relationship. Does anyone think that’s a valid concern?

 

[LizVegas79]

Pics or it didn’t happen, Lizzie.

We’ve talked a number of times about adding a third, a threesome seems to be everybody’s fantasy. But our biggest concern is the risk of an emotional attachment and the damage that could be caused in our relationship. Does anyone think that’s a valid concern?

LOL - Lorelei. That was Hard Rule #1 - no pics because we all work in the resort biz and most of us, all of the women especially interact directly with customers so we have had to sign pretty strict "decency clauses" in our employment agreements. It was actually pretty hot waking up Sunday morning, going into the kitchen and seeing all of our phones still lined up on the island where we had left them the night before.

But maybe next time

Yeah, that's been my biggest concern too which is why up until last Saturday my husband and I always went with a pro whenever we wanted to play with someone else. Much more discreet. Zero risk of emotional attachment. However, I must say, I think their Hard Rule #3 - spouses having to reconnect/reclaim each other after being with other people in Round One was effective.

So far there haven't been any complications (that I'm aware of anyways) and our hosts worked to keep all the lines of communication open by talking with everyone one on one and setting up group chats. But that's a big reason why I started this thread was to hear from others who have been down this road before.

Has anyone had to deal with unexpected and/or delicate emotional attachments after engaging in a swap/swingers party with friends or acquaintances?

 

[Doctor Joe]

It was soooo very exciting!!!

My husband "reclaimed me" so hard after our first round of swapping too!

I've been told that the reclaiming is one of the more fantastic experiences after you have been shared!

 

[Not Normal]

LOL - Lorelei. That was Hard Rule #1 - no pics because we all work in the resort biz and most of us, all of the women especially interact directly with customers so we have had to sign pretty strict "decency clauses" in our employment agreements. It was actually pretty hot waking up Sunday morning, going into the kitchen and seeing all of our phones still lined up on the island where we had left them the night before.

But maybe next time

Yeah, that's been my biggest concern too which is why up until last Saturday my husband and I always went with a pro whenever we wanted to play with someone else. Much more discreet. Zero risk of emotional attachment. However, I must say, I think their Hard Rule #3 - spouses having to reconnect/reclaim each other after being with other people in Round One was effective.

So far there haven't been any complications (that I'm aware of anyways) and our hosts worked to keep all the lines of communication open by talking with everyone one on one and setting up group chats. But that's a big reason why I started this thread was to hear from others who have been down this road before.

Has anyone had to deal with unexpected and/or delicate emotional attachments after engaging in a swap/swingers party with friends or acquaintances?

I find it interesting that you've used pro in the past. Is that because its so easy to do in Vegas, or do you think you might have done that anyway, if you were somewhere else?

 

[blade_rocknut]

Pics or it didn’t happen, Lizzie.

We’ve talked a number of times about adding a third, a threesome seems to be everybody’s fantasy. But our biggest concern is the risk of an emotional attachment and the damage that could be caused in our relationship. Does anyone think that’s a valid concern?

It's valid if it concerns you.

It seems most lifestyle couples are always looking for the elusive unicorn; the unattached female. We're not, for this reason. Stable, preferably married couples only.
Still not a guarantee, of course.

 

[hotwords229_A]

However, I'm not saying a five girl/one guy Friday night "book club" is beyond the realm of possibility at my place

Awww, I love being called dessert! So will I get icing on my cake?

I definitely want in on that book club. Just the thought of it took me from paperback to hardcover, and yes, there will be plenty of icing--just be ready to share

 

[Yerkiddin]

My wife and I have decided to give polyamory a try. The only problem is that the woman I know and would love to date is out of state and waiting on a divorce to settle and a house to sell, and a pandemic does nothing to speed that up at all.

(My wife, as luck would have it, has a bf that wants ever-more of her time, and I can't blame him.)

I was given a bit of reprieve, in that his job is somewhat high-risk and he cannot work from home, so we are both staying home full-time until this blows over. I don't know that we'd ever find another couple that we could do anything with. I haven't looked for another gf, in that I really want the out-of-state gal that is waiting on her divorce, and while she isn't jealous of my wife (that I can tell) I'm fairly sure she'd be angry with me if I found another gf. So far as I know, I would marry her too, if I could. (We don't yet know for certain my wife won't be jealous of her, though!)

Somehow life just refuses to be boring. ;-)

 

[LizVegas79]

I've been told that the reclaiming is one of the more fantastic experiences after you have been shared!

Oh it was. It sooooo was. For me and I'm pretty sure my husband too.

I find it interesting that you've used pro in the past. Is that because its so easy to do in Vegas, or do you think you might have done that anyway, if you were somewhere else?

We probably would have gone with a pro even if we lived somewhere else because the main things we were concerned with were discretion, health and cleanliness and attractiveness (in that order). It wasn't cheap. But we definitely got what we paid for and more.

I definitely want in on that book club. Just the thought of it took me from paperback to hardcover, and yes, there will be plenty of icing--just be ready to share

"from paperback to hardcover" - that's poetic AND hilarious!

My wife and I have decided to give polyamory a try. The only problem is that the woman I know and would love to date is out of state and waiting on a divorce to settle and a house to sell, and a pandemic does nothing to speed that up at all.

(My wife, as luck would have it, has a bf that wants ever-more of her time, and I can't blame him.)

I was given a bit of reprieve, in that his job is somewhat high-risk and he cannot work from home, so we are both staying home full-time until this blows over. I don't know that we'd ever find another couple that we could do anything with. I haven't looked for another gf, in that I really want the out-of-state gal that is waiting on her divorce, and while she isn't jealous of my wife (that I can tell) I'm fairly sure she'd be angry with me if I found another gf. So far as I know, I would marry her too, if I could. (We don't yet know for certain my wife won't be jealous of her, though!)

Somehow life just refuses to be boring. ;-)

Sounds to me like you have several exciting discoveries ahead of you.

However, it also sounds like maybe you should consider using this "down time" to strengthen your lines of communication.

If she doesn't know if she's going to feel jealous or not, maybe you should talk with her about what you might need to do in case she is. Has she met your gf before? If she thinks (or especially if you think) your gf is more attractive than her that could be a big problem.

Maybe you could offer to be okay with finding a less attractive partner than her for your first time? Even just having that conversation could help discover if any of her hesitancy or doubt is coming from a place of insecurity. Just a thought. Good luck and keep us updated, okay?

 

[curiouschattycouple]

Fascinating thread! We will watch from afar!

 

[marriedpervs]

Hi Liz!! Long time.
Steve and I have participated many, many times. I'd love to discuss. Also love the way you have commenced exploring. There has to be some positives from this awful virus!!