The LIT Swingers Club

[steve6161]

Yes with several friends both male and female.

 

[LizVegas79]

Fascinating thread! We will watch from afar!

Don't be shy.

If you're curious you probably have questions, just like we did and still do. Hopefully we can all learn from each other here.

Hi Liz!! Long time.
Steve and I have participated many, many times. I'd love to discuss. Also love the way you have commenced exploring. There has to be some positives from this awful virus!!

Hi Dee! How have you been?

I know you have lots of experience in this area. Any advice about avoiding or dealing with possible complications would be most appreciated. Also, relating any experiences you've had might help us all understand how to deal with certain things that I (and I'm sure others) can see coming up.

For instance:
* best practices for keeping things discreet where you work
* how to deal with other couples in your circle of friends who find out and express interest in joining
* how to recognize, deal with and discuss things that might come up like jealousy or emotional attachment or even detachment

Glad to see you've come back to us. Even if it's just for a little while

Yes with several friends both male and female.

Thanks for joining in the discussion Steve!

Any thoughts or advice for us newbies to the lifestyle?

 

[JenniferSimms]

I went once with a girlfriend. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. We had sex with a number of partners, but it all seemed so mechanical and staged. I think it would be more fun with a group of friends.

 

[Lorelei907]

We’ve talked a number of times about adding a third, a threesome seems to be everybody’s fantasy. But our biggest concern is the risk of an emotional attachment and the damage that could be caused in our relationship. Does anyone think that’s a valid concern?

I find it interesting that you've used pro in the past. Is that because its so easy to do in Vegas, or do you think you might have done that anyway, if you were somewhere else?

We probably would have gone with a pro even if we lived somewhere else because the main things we were concerned with were discretion, health and cleanliness and attractiveness (in that order). It wasn't cheap. But we definitely got what we paid for and more.

I never thought about that but there are some advantages there, wonder if she would be open to it. From there it’s a matter of finding one.

 

[LizVegas79]

I went once with a girlfriend. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. We had sex with a number of partners, but it all seemed so mechanical and staged. I think it would be more fun with a group of friends.

My husband and I checked out two places not long after we were married just to see if it was for us. One place was totally gross and dirty. The other had a little more to offer with glass rooms for watching and private rooms for those who didn't want to be watched.

From what I've heard about places in New York and Montreal and other places they are all different and each has its own clientele. I guess the trick is finding a place that fits you.

But yeah, being initiated into "the lifestyle" by a group of friends definitely had several advantages.

At least in my humble, newb opinion lol

I never thought about that but there are some advantages there, wonder if she would be open to it. From there it’s a matter of finding one.

Indeed there are! Hope the PM I sent you about our experiences with the pros we went with was helpful!

 

[Lorelei907]

Indeed there are! Hope the PM I sent you about our experiences with the pros we went with was helpful!

Very, Sweetie.

 

[marriedpervs]

Hi Dee! How have you been?

I know you have lots of experience in this area. Any advice about avoiding or dealing with possible complications would be most appreciated. Also, relating any experiences you've had might help us all understand how to deal with certain things that I (and I'm sure others) can see coming up.

For instance:
* best practices for keeping things discreet where you work
* how to deal with other couples in your circle of friends who find out and express interest in joining
* how to recognize, deal with and discuss things that might come up like jealousy or emotional attachment or even detachment

Glad to see you've come back to us. Even if it's just for a little while

Any thoughts or advice for us newbies to the lifestyle?

Hi Liz,

I've been great!! Pity the virus is stressing us all out - but still managing to smile, work a bit from home and keep my hubby and toy collection working overtime.

For us, the swinging scene has been great fun but there are also some things to consider very carefully before taking the plunge. To address your specific points - here goes!

* best practices for keeping things discreet where you work - Only 'play' with people after carefully making sure they are cool with it, their partner knows all about it, or don't do it at all. Too much to lose if you fuck it up.

* how to deal with other couples in your circle of friends who find out and express interest in joining - This one is both tough, and fun when the right people accidentally find out.

We've found new couples we know who either liked that we were swingers and let us go on without it affecting our friendships, or those who found out and wanted nothing to do with us, but best of all, those who found out and joined in! Our motto has become 'c'est la vie'......so we just deal with it as it arises.

* how to recognize, deal with and discuss things that might come up like jealousy or emotional attachment or even detachment - simple here - if either of these come up then get out. Too much stress and too much to risk.

Happy to offer any other tips!!!

For us, it's been sexy, fun, great and has extended our erotic natures incredibly. It has also helped my hubby's voyeuristic tendencies immensely, and at the same time I get to sample many, many other men and the occasional woman.

 

[LizVegas79]

Hi Liz,

I've been great!! Pity the virus is stressing us all out - but still managing to smile, work a bit from home and keep my hubby and toy collection working overtime.

For us, the swinging scene has been great fun but there are also some things to consider very carefully before taking the plunge. To address your specific points - here goes!

* best practices for keeping things discreet where you work - Only 'play' with people after carefully making sure they are cool with it, their partner knows all about it, or don't do it at all. Too much to lose if you fuck it up.

* how to deal with other couples in your circle of friends who find out and express interest in joining - This one is both tough, and fun when the right people accidentally find out.

We've found new couples we know who either liked that we were swingers and let us go on without it affecting our friendships, or those who found out and wanted nothing to do with us, but best of all, those who found out and joined in! Our motto has become 'c'est la vie'......so we just deal with it as it arises.

* how to recognize, deal with and discuss things that might come up like jealousy or emotional attachment or even detachment - simple here - if either of these come up then get out. Too much stress and too much to risk.

Happy to offer any other tips!!!

For us, it's been sexy, fun, great and has extended our erotic natures incredibly. It has also helped my hubby's voyeuristic tendencies immensely, and at the same time I get to sample many, many other men and the occasional woman.

THANKS DEE!! THIS ALL SEEMS LIKE VERY USEFUL ADVICE!

And that last paragraph - I've read it like six times already and I'm going to go back and probably read it at least six more!

 

[blade_rocknut]

THANKS DEE!! THIS ALL SEEMS LIKE VERY USEFUL ADVICE!

And that last paragraph - I've read it like six times already and I'm going to go back and probably read it at least six more!

Same.

I look forward to being able to freely share space with other humans again, largely because of my exhibitionist tendencies while having sex.

The first time we went to a resort, the wife and I got busy one afternoon, up in the room to make drinks. We didn't intend to get busy, it just happened. The door was open, and soon we had an audience, and a very polite man asking if we were looking for assistance.

We later learned the open door was a signal for such. I was caught off guard by just how much it thrilled me to have an audience.

Then there was the cheering section at the pool...

and the DJ narrating....

Fun times.

 

[marriedpervs]

THANKS DEE!! THIS ALL SEEMS LIKE VERY USEFUL ADVICE!

And that last paragraph - I've read it like six times already and I'm going to go back and probably read it at least six more!

Lol. It’s true though! It is what has made it work for us for so long. If you both enjoy it, keep doing it. We all grow old, and in these awful times why not play together till you tire from orgasming???

Same.

I look forward to being able to freely share space with other humans again, largely because of my exhibitionist tendencies while having sex.

The first time we went to a resort, the wife and I got busy one afternoon, up in the room to make drinks. We didn't intend to get busy, it just happened. The door was open, and soon we had an audience, and a very polite man asking if we were looking for assistance.

We later learned the open door was a signal for such. I was caught off guard by just how much it thrilled me to have an audience.

Then there was the cheering section at the pool...

and the DJ narrating....

Fun times.

Ooooh yes, the open door is definitely an invitation to join in the swinging world

 

[Mr_bogey]

So when is the first meeting of this "club"?

 

[fifty5]

Open marriages

I can't really talk to traditional swinging, but we have an open marriage with a hot wife flair to it.

We had an open marriage, starting 3 years after we'd got wed, our rule was to ask permission for each new lover before taking, or being taken, to bed. That gave us the chance to veto if we didn't approve of each extramarital lover.

In the event my wife got my permission for 6 other blokes and had it away with all of them. I got her permission for lots more lasses than that, but I only got my leg over three.

I suppose that may say how poor a seducer I was, but it definitely says how difficult it was back then, with poor contraceptives, for any man to get his leg over!

 

[LizVegas79]

Same.

I look forward to being able to freely share space with other humans again, largely because of my exhibitionist tendencies while having sex.

The first time we went to a resort, the wife and I got busy one afternoon, up in the room to make drinks. We didn't intend to get busy, it just happened. The door was open, and soon we had an audience, and a very polite man asking if we were looking for assistance.

We later learned the open door was a signal for such. I was caught off guard by just how much it thrilled me to have an audience.

Then there was the cheering section at the pool...

and the DJ narrating....

Fun times.

Okay. If you had a DJ at your swingers party then you absolutely win the Internet today!

So when is the first meeting of this "club"?

Didn't you get the group Evite email?
(maybe check your spam folder )

We had an open marriage, starting 3 years after we'd got wed, our rule was to ask permission for each new lover before taking, or being taken, to bed. That gave us the chance to veto if we didn't approve of each extramarital lover.

In the event my wife got my permission for 6 other blokes and had it away with all of them. I got her permission for lots more lasses than that, but I only got my leg over three.

I suppose that may say how poor a seducer I was, but it definitely says how difficult it was back then, with poor contraceptives, for any man to get his leg over!

Wow, two years after you got married. That's an understanding right from the start if I've ever heard one!

 

[blade_rocknut]

Okay. If you had a DJ at your swingers party then you absolutely win the Internet today!



Didn't you get the group Evite email?
(maybe check your spam folder )



Wow, two years after you got married. That's an understanding right from the start if I've ever heard one!

The place we were going has a pool party with a DJ every Friday thru Sunday. Quite a lot of people, some weekends.

 

[fifty5]

three not two

Okay. If you had a DJ at your swingers party then you absolutely win the Internet today!

Wow, two years after you got married. That's an understanding right from the start if I've ever heard one!

Check again, I used the digit 3 meaning three

 

[LizVegas79]

Check again, I used the digit 3 meaning three

Wait. There's math on Lit now?

Dang it!! This sucks!!!

 

[Cobra6813]

Hi Liz

Congrats on coming over to the swinger side. i have followed your posts over the last few years and feel like you allow us all to really know you - Thank you

My wife and I dove into the swingers pool years and years ago. It made us closer and truly tested “us”. It was not all wine and roses but overall it was exciting and electric.

My wife, like you, is beautiful, adventurous and open minded which alleviated any need to sell this on her. She kind of initiated it. Over the years, We met quite a few great couples playing and socializing. We ended up hanging with them even just socially much more often than our vanilla friends whom we noticed all seemed to be petty, jealous and miserable. A few words of advise:

1. Never ever take one for the team. Neither of you should have to “do” someone to make the 4 all connect. There are plenty of 9 & 5 couples out there. Only play with ones where all are attracted to one another.
2. You two are in this together. Make about “us” and not each of you individually chasing others.
3. If one of you objects to anyone you choose to play with. stop. Each should have absolute veto power. You don’t want to create resentment, anger or fighting
4. Do not get emotionally involved. Its physical sex and fun pure and simple. One couple told us when we first started playing. Its like playing with someone else’s toy. Play with it, enjoy it and when done, put it back on the shelf.
5. Communicate openly and often. No secrets or side discussions

Enough said

Enjoy this exciting time

 

[LizVegas79]

Hi Liz

Congrats on coming over to the swinger side. i have followed your posts over the last few years and feel like you allow us all to really know you - Thank you

My wife and I dove into the swingers pool years and years ago. It made us closer and truly tested “us”. It was not all wine and roses but overall it was exciting and electric.

My wife, like you, is beautiful, adventurous and open minded which alleviated any need to sell this on her. She kind of initiated it. Over the years, We met quite a few great couples playing and socializing. We ended up hanging with them even just socially much more often than our vanilla friends whom we noticed all seemed to be petty, jealous and miserable. A few words of advise:

1. Never ever take one for the team. Neither of you should have to “do” someone to make the 4 all connect. There are plenty of 9 & 5 couples out there. Only play with ones where all are attracted to one another.
2. You two are in this together. Make about “us” and not each of you individually chasing others.
3. If one of you objects to anyone you choose to play with. stop. Each should have absolute veto power. You don’t want to create resentment, anger or fighting
4. Do not get emotionally involved. Its physical sex and fun pure and simple. One couple told us when we first started playing. Its like playing with someone else’s toy. Play with it, enjoy it and when done, put it back on the shelf.
5. Communicate openly and often. No secrets or side discussions

Enough said

Enjoy this exciting time

Thanks Cobra. That's all excellent advice.

#1 is particularly relevant at the moment because there's a couple that has played with our host couple before that I'm not in love with the idea of getting together with. I'd climb into any bed anywhere with her (and so would my husband) but as much as I enjoy being friends with her husband (he makes me laugh so hard sometimes my ribs hurt ) I'm not at all sexually attracted to him and I'm pretty sure I could never look at him (or even myself) again the same way and I'm afraid it would destroy our friendship because sooner or later he would probably realize that I started avoiding him.

I loved the built-in "reclaiming" session we had at our first party, which I believe relates to your second point. I hope we can always do something like that.

100% veto power before during and after for each of us always, always, always. That was Rule #1 I made with my husband BEFORE we went to our first party and again, I hope we can always keep it that way.

Currently I'm having trouble putting my friend Lynn "back on the shelf" but I'm hoping it's because it was her first time too and we keep calling each other every other day to discuss/remind/relive what we learned about ourselves and our husbands a few weeks ago. She "loved" being with my 6'5" husband I'm almost obsessed with watching the two of them be together so that I can kiss everything that hurts and clean up the mess. I suspect this is just mutual newbie enthusiasm though and that it'll pass once we get to spend a little more time together.

I must admit that as much as I agree with your Rule 5 I am already breaking it. But only to protect someone else. I think I explained in another post on this thread that my friend Lynn's husband has a submissive fetish he doesn't want the other guys (his golfing buddies) to know about. So I haven't been completely honest with my husband about all that happened between Lynn and her husband and I when we were together. It's his/their secret and I don't believe it's my place to betray his trust. I'm kind of hoping the secret won't stay a secret for very much longer if we all get together again because Lynn seems to love to talk about her "new dynamic" with her husband. If she starts dressing the part of hot Asian wife with a saucy mouth too, instead of dressing like a prim and proper Sunday churchgoer like she has in the past, well, I sort of expect their "secret" dynamic will be obvious to just about everybody.

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom and experience. I hope you will stop by often and always feel free to share any thoughts or stories from your past adventures.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Hi Liz

Congrats on coming over to the swinger side. i have followed your posts over the last few years and feel like you allow us all to really know you - Thank you

My wife and I dove into the swingers pool years and years ago. It made us closer and truly tested “us”. It was not all wine and roses but overall it was exciting and electric.

My wife, like you, is beautiful, adventurous and open minded which alleviated any need to sell this on her. She kind of initiated it. Over the years, We met quite a few great couples playing and socializing. We ended up hanging with them even just socially much more often than our vanilla friends whom we noticed all seemed to be petty, jealous and miserable. A few words of advise:

1. Never ever take one for the team. Neither of you should have to “do” someone to make the 4 all connect. There are plenty of 9 & 5 couples out there. Only play with ones where all are attracted to one another.
2. You two are in this together. Make about “us” and not each of you individually chasing others.
3. If one of you objects to anyone you choose to play with. stop. Each should have absolute veto power. You don’t want to create resentment, anger or fighting
4. Do not get emotionally involved. Its physical sex and fun pure and simple. One couple told us when we first started playing. Its like playing with someone else’s toy. Play with it, enjoy it and when done, put it back on the shelf.
5. Communicate openly and often. No secrets or side discussions

Enough said

Enjoy this exciting time

Thanks Cobra. That's all excellent advice.

#1 is particularly relevant at the moment because there's a couple that has played with our host couple before that I'm not in love with the idea of getting together with. I'd climb into any bed anywhere with her (and so would my husband) but as much as I enjoy being friends with her husband (he makes me laugh so hard sometimes my ribs hurt ) I'm not at all sexually attracted to him and I'm pretty sure I could never look at him (or even myself) again the same way and I'm afraid it would destroy our friendship because sooner or later he would probably realize that I started avoiding him.

I loved the built-in "reclaiming" session we had at our first party, which I believe relates to your second point. I hope we can always do something like that.

100% veto power before during and after for each of us always, always, always. That was Rule #1 I made with my husband BEFORE we went to our first party and again, I hope we can always keep it that way.

Currently I'm having trouble putting my friend Lynn "back on the shelf" but I'm hoping it's because it was her first time too and we keep calling each other every other day to discuss/remind/relive what we learned about ourselves and our husbands a few weeks ago. She "loved" being with my 6'5" husband I'm almost obsessed with watching the two of them be together so that I can kiss everything that hurts and clean up the mess. I suspect this is just mutual newbie enthusiasm though and that it'll pass once we get to spend a little more time together.

I must admit that as much as I agree with your Rule 5 I am already breaking it. But only to protect someone else. I think I explained in another post on this thread that my friend Lynn's husband has a submissive fetish he doesn't want the other guys (his golfing buddies) to know about. So I haven't been completely honest with my husband about all that happened between Lynn and her husband and I when we were together. It's his/their secret and I don't believe it's my place to betray his trust. I'm kind of hoping the secret won't stay a secret for very much longer if we all get together again because Lynn seems to love to talk about her "new dynamic" with her husband. If she starts dressing the part of hot Asian wife with a saucy mouth too, instead of dressing like a prim and proper Sunday churchgoer like she has in the past, well, I sort of expect their "secret" dynamic will be obvious to just about everybody.

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom and experience. I hope you will stop by often and always feel free to share any thoughts or stories from your past adventures.

Awesome insights. I have to reckon that mileage will vary depending on level of friendship with the "others", and evolve also as some play partners may become friends.

I know I have a really strong emotional connection with our other female, but we're also ok going months without talking. It's not a partner love thing; just a mutual adoration and a connection that most would likely mistake for love. I admire her relationship with her husband, and I don't want her for myself.
Nope. That's theirs.
But.
We have a thing that's undeniable. We're not even compatible partners, but we make really, really good sex partners.

 

[chame1eon]

Hello Everyone - I'm hoping those of you who have been to swingers clubs or shared a partner at a swinger's party will join in the discussion on this thread because I can tell my husband and I are going to need some advice.

This past Saturday night and Sunday morning my husband and I spent some quality time with two couples friends of ours openly and freely discussing our sexual bucket lists in regards to both this coronavirus pandemic and the fact that we're all starting to get a little older.

We knew that was the agenda for the party in advance because it all started from a conversation my husband and one of his best friends had at work last week.

It turned out to be a wonderful and amazing eye opening (and eye popping! ) experience for all six of us.

It was not the first time my husband and I looked into the swinger's scene here in Las Vegas. But it was the first time we participated in it.

I can tell already that it has not only changed our relationship with our friends I previously felt we already knew, but that it has and will continue to also change our own relationship as husband and wife.

It's all good. We broke down some barriers (especially a few of his) and I expect we will be breaking down a few more in the coming weeks and months.

It turns out that within our circle of friends more of them have been enjoying each other's company quite a bit more that I previously knew. I guess that old saying is true, "You never really know someone until you sleep with them."

https://66.media.tumblr.com/7bd4c476b58d4bf872096f3163a5ddc2/tumblr_pjqpoqI2861w0d0on_500.jpg

(mmmm, I can still feel that first tentative touch of one of my husband's best friends reaching out and caressing me for the first time )

With all that said, I'm hoping that some of you who have more experience with "the lifestyle" will share your own thoughts and experiences sharing your S.O.'s (significant others) with friends and/or strangers. Because I can tell already that this is going to be a bit of a tricky dance but at the same time I am soooooo looking forward to it!

I guess what I'm most interested in learning about is:

- What are some of the unexpected challenges that can arise within an active group of swingers?

and

- What are some of the things to look out for or discuss with your S.O. in order to keep the lines of communication open?

Thank you all in advance for sharing your wisdom! I can't think of a better way to talk about the joys and challenges of swinging and partner swapping than with a group of other people!

I dont have any advice but that sounds awesome!

 

[Cobra6813]

Thanks for the kind and welcoming words Liz.

I’ll be happy to add some of our awesome as well as a few not so good experiences. Right now, we don’t actively swing because we found it so difficult for all 4 to connect. It became like dating but 4x as difficult. Over time, we morphed into the hotwife scene then to more of an open relationship which is where we are now

Take care
Jack

 

[13Fantasies]

Not opposed, but the opportunity has never arisen. My wife, like JerseyJade, is not comfortable with the idea due to insecurities. I might have them as well if actually presented with the situation, but hard to say.

One of her best friends is a swinger and said that if my wife ever allowed it, let her know. She'd be happy to introduce me to it. Not something I'll find out.

Of course, I'd be content to just have sex. But as the time goes on, that seems unlikely too, so this is even more a remote fantasy

 

[fifty5]

Swing alone?

My problem is that while I'd like to join in swinging, my wife went off sex 2 decades ago, so not even I get my leg over with her.

Any suggestions for a solution?

 

[biwifecurious]

We have been in the lifestyle several years and enjoy the scene!!

 

[chame1eon]

I think bf and I have personalities and inclinations well suited to this, but I dont wanna catch something or get pregant.