The Merits of Phone Sex??

[enjoyingitall]

I think what it really comes down to is chemistry, plain and simple.....the looks play a part in it, but there are a lot of other things that come into play when one speaks of physical attraction. A picture...hell, just about anybody can work a picture to tell what they'd like it to say, same as the written word and statistics. If the chemistry is right, and ya pretty much know when it IS...well, all bets are off...*L*

That's true..pictures can be manipulted to only show someone in the best possible manner...and I surely don't think that physical attributes alone would lead to gratifying p/s.

Speaking from my own experience, I had a very real bond with this person before we ever engaged in p/s. Friendship first and then the deeper emotions. And as that bond grew, I think our phone explorations with each other became more intense, more sensual and much more satisfying. That comes from the chemistry...but I had seen his picture long before we ever even had just a friendly phone conversation.

Would I have wanted to take things further with him if I had found him physically unattractive? No, I wouldn't have. The friendship would have been there, but that wouldn't have included sharing intimacies via the phone.

 

[lovemetender]

all very interesting points...it seems the physical attraction part of the equation runs a broad spectrum of choices.....but let me take it one step further if I may....
let's say you find yourself not the least bit physically attracted to the person....do you still continue with the p/s relationship you've developed??

 

[enjoyingitall]

My...I'm quite the chatterbox today aren't I?? *L*

Yep.. you and me both..But ya know, sometimes it's enjoyable to have real conversations and discussions on here instead of just the hit and run.."hey hon how are ya" kind of posts!

I'm enjoying reading your thoughts on this topic.

 

[Dbtk44]

all very interesting points...it seems the physical attraction part of the equation runs a broad spectrum of choices.....but let me take it one step further if I may....
let's say you find yourself not the least bit physically attracted to the person....do you still continue with the p/s relationship you've developed??

That's the million dollar question....think people run into that one every day, and certainly not confined to p/s.

Just purely my personal opinion.....I think everybody deserves respect and compassion. We all need to do what we feel is best for ourselves ( and others as well ), so I think to continue something of that sort when the "spark" is obviously not there is cheating both parties. If you respect them, then you obviously have a duty to be honest. If you have compassion, you'll try to do things in such a way as to minimize any hurt that might ensue. It also goes both ways of course.

AGAIN....purely my view on it, and I'm in no way shape or form attempting to tell anybody what they should do or how they should live their life.

 

[Dbtk44]

Yep.. you and me both..But ya know, sometimes it's enjoyable to have real conversations and discussions on here instead of just the hit and run.."hey hon how are ya" kind of posts!

I'm enjoying reading your thoughts on this topic.

I'm enjoying reading your thoughts as well! Don't get to know a person too well with the "hit-n-run" posts.

 

[lovemetender]

That's the million dollar question....think people run into that one every day, and certainly not confined to p/s.

Just purely my personal opinion.....I think everybody deserves respect and compassion. We all need to do what we feel is best for ourselves ( and others as well ), so I think to continue something of that sort when the "spark" is obviously not there is cheating both parties. If you respect them, then you obviously have a duty to be honest. If you have compassion, you'll try to do things in such a way as to minimize any hurt that might ensue. It also goes both ways of course.

AGAIN....purely my view on it, and I'm in no way shape or form attempting to tell anybody what they should do or how they should live their life.

good points DB.....I'd find it hard to believe anyone w/o the faintest bit of physical attraction could continue an intimate relationship with a person....sure would make it hard for it to be a satisfying experience in my opinion....

 

[TantaLiza]

OK, EJ..... had to come back to read other posts out of curiosity. I also need to amend my earlier post...

I'm a very unusual person... I'm a hard-working single parent that doesn't have much time for myself... self imposed, I'm informed. ~sigh~ Most of my free time is spent late night chatting with people online... some I know, some I don't. I don't go out of my way to have p/s much less initiate it... most times it's just happened. The most memorable times have stemmed from getting to know someone and wanting to share myself with them. Two developed further into full blown "relationships"....

Admittedly, I do have one friend that we've not seen each other but seem to be able to open up and really share that part of ourselves over the phone... sometimes I think it's because we'll never meet so we won't have a chance to disappoint each other. I'm always honest in tellin what I look like... but imagination is the key to takin things to the level one is looking for... we take each other there with our voices and the emotions they impart while describing what we're doing to each other... it's so easy for me to open up totally to a stranger who can't judge me since they're seekin the same comfort I am... we're both lonely to a degree.

Hope this makes sense... guess I'm a bit philisophical tonight... plus, I don't want anyone to think I'm a heartless female... I have plenty to give... just not found anyone in RL to give it to...

LizA


PS... never expect the unexpected and you'll never be disappointed!!

 

[Angelofsex]

One thing I did forget to say is, I need to talk with the person for a bit before even thinking of phone sex.....weather talking on the computer or on the phone.

Now never seeing a picture, they ask me to picture them , I can't. All I do is see the things they write or hear their voice on the phone. I love knowing the person not the picture.

 

[enjoyingitall]

OK, EJ..... had to come back to read other posts out of curiosity. I also need to amend my earlier post...

I'm a very unusual person... I'm a hard-working single parent that doesn't have much time for myself... self imposed, I'm informed. ~sigh~ Most of my free time is spent late night chatting with people online... some I know, some I don't. I don't go out of my way to have p/s much less initiate it... most times it's just happened. The most memorable times have stemmed from getting to know someone and wanting to share myself with them. Two developed further into full blown "relationships"....

Admittedly, I do have one friend that we've not seen each other but seem to be able to open up and really share that part of ourselves over the phone... sometimes I think it's because we'll never meet so we won't have a chance to disappoint each other. I'm always honest in tellin what I look like... but imagination is the key to takin things to the level one is looking for... we take each other there with our voices and the emotions they impart while describing what we're doing to each other... it's so easy for me to open up totally to a stranger who can't judge me since they're seekin the same comfort I am... we're both lonely to a degree.

Hope this makes sense... guess I'm a bit philisophical tonight... plus, I don't want anyone to think I'm a heartless female... I have plenty to give... just not found anyone in RL to give it to...

LizA




PS... never expect the unexpected and you'll never be disappointed!!

Yes, it makes sense, Liza.....and I don't think your first post came across as a heartless female at all.

I suppose each of us partake in p/s for our own reasons, and in so doing, we are bound to have differening views about it.

 

[enjoyingitall]

One thing I did forget to say is, I need to talk with the person for a bit before even thinking of phone sex.....weather talking on the computer or on the phone.

Now never seeing a picture, they ask me to picture them , I can't. All I do is see the things they write or hear their voice on the phone. I love knowing the person not the picture.

I think most everyone agrees that a connection of some sort is imperative. For some of you, it can be through their words, their personality, their inner self. For others, we also need that physical component..

But I think everyone posting here agrees on the fact that a real sense of some form of attraction is needed.