The Pervy Poetry Slam

[TaintedB]

Gotta regulate my face, it's got a date with his fist

This was fine! Rap on!

 

[Marquis]

Snuck in from the back cuz I'm so low-key
Now I'm breakin down the rhymes like they my psyche
I take my shots, no water, feel my face get hotter when yall be
riding me like I'm charter
I scream and yall party harder

Now you know I'm in it cuz I fucking hate this
Gotta regulate my face, it's got a date with his fist
My place is on the floor and now I know what shame is
And now I've got a taste of it I just can't waste this

Why he acting all crazy like my man Yossarian
Got his arm pulled back because he knows I'm fearin him
Gettin plowed by these farmers, bend my body like a comma when yall be
riding me like yo mama
You're my fuckin Dalai Lama

Now you know I'm in it cuz I fucking hate this
Gotta regulate my face, it's got a date with his fist
My place is on the floor and now I know what shame is
And now I've got a taste of it I just can't waste this

Awesome!

You got some rhythm baby, do I know this beat?

 

[Quint]

Awesome!

You got some rhythm baby, do I know this beat?

Busta Rhymes lives in the back of my head? Nah, it's as original as someone who listens to hiphop can get. I honestly meant it to be more poetry, less rap, but that's how it flowed, baby.

What was your favorite part?

 

[rosco rathbone]

"bend my body like a comma/ your'e my dalai lama"

 

[Marquis]

Busta Rhymes lives in the back of my head? Nah, it's as original as someone who listens to hiphop can get. I honestly meant it to be more poetry, less rap, but that's how it flowed, baby.

What was your favorite part?

I think the hook was the best part. Anyone using an online rhyming dictionary *points upward slyly* can put words together, but putting some rhythm to them takes soul.

 

[Marquis]

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIX

Snuck in from the back cuz I'm so low-key
Now I'm breakin down the rhymes like they my psyche
I take my shots, no water, feel my face get hotter when yall be
riding me like I'm charter
I scream and yall party harder

Now you know I'm in it cuz I fucking hate this
Gotta regulate my face, it's got a date with his fist
My place is on the floor and now I know what shame is
And now I've got a taste of it I just can't waste this

But can you take this, he's just so salacious
Attacks from the back cause his style's invasive
Keep your body like a comma while your brain's e-ras-ED
It's a find so rare you know you can't replace it
So in time, don't be scared, you will blow just face it.

Now I know you're in it and you fucking hate this
Gotta regulate your face, it's got a date with my fist
Your place is on the floor and now you know what shame is
And now you've got a taste of it you just can't waste this.

 

[Quint]

*stunned and honored* I...I've just been remixed! That was hot!

Wow. And even though it was at the expense of my Catch-22 tag, for which the wordslut in me is forlorn, I'm loving it. I actually woke up last night to find T setting the original to music...sort of a dark gangsta croon. This would be the club remix, where I would find my ass grabbed and so on.

 

[Marquis]

*stunned and honored* I...I've just been remixed! That was hot!

Wow. And even though it was at the expense of my Catch-22 tag, for which the wordslut in me is forlorn, I'm loving it. I actually woke up last night to find T setting the original to music...sort of a dark gangsta croon. This would be the club remix, where I would find my ass grabbed and so on.

Get it crunk!

 

[TaintedB]

A play party gone bad?

Thanks to this thread I have started to listen to rap music. Never had before, and after this you're probably going to wish I never started:

Dom Sit Down

When a faggot dom crouch over ya face
talkin dat shit
What ya ‘gon do pumkin?!?!?!
Is u ‘gon crawl on him like a bitch
Or is u ‘gon kneel down like a wo-man?
U know what I want u to do?
Tell dat Dom to SIT DOWN!!!! (on yo face)

DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)

DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)

I don't need you doms, strutin' all around
steppin on my boobs, knocking my ass down
Please give me space, so you can fuck my face
checkin out yo beatures, if they rough you can stay
Chillin at the cross, eyes on the crowd
looking for them tops looking mean not mild
Doms like to revile, they wanna hit me hards
Skippin round the dungeon, actin like some lil tards
I be fucking toys, givin' myself joys
target practice on me, take my butt and destroy
Femdoms they be stoppin, sittin down watchin
Know they can't stop it, now they wanna crop it
Subbie by my side, you know that she got me
fuckin all these lames, whose game be so sloppy
Dom pay attention, I assume the position
Old Taintedb taking something from your britches

DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)

(etc.)

PS to Marquis: when I first heard the original version of this song I instantly thought of you standing in the middle of one of those clubs you go to singing this at the top of your lungs, lol.

 

[Xelebes]

You know what this place needs more of? Jungle. Nice 170 bpm amen breaks chopped up and spliced to throbbing Reese basslines and atmospheric piano lines and scorching synth leads, with an MC to lay down lines as these...

BOH!

RINSEOUT!


...


...


Ok, that won't work.

 

[Marquis]

Thanks to this thread I have started to listen to rap music. Never had before, and after this you're probably going to wish I never started:

Dom Sit Down

When a faggot dom crouch over ya face
talkin dat shit
What ya ‘gon do pumkin?!?!?!
Is u ‘gon crawl on him like a bitch
Or is u ‘gon kneel down like a wo-man?
U know what I want u to do?
Tell dat Dom to SIT DOWN!!!! (on yo face)

DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)

DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)
DOM SIT DOWN! (On my face)

I don't need you doms, strutin' all around
steppin on my boobs, knocking my ass down
Please give me space, so you can fuck my face
checkin out yo beatures, if they rough you can stay
Chillin at the cross, eyes on the crowd
looking for them tops looking mean not mild
Doms like to revile, they wanna hit me hards
Skippin round the dungeon, actin like some lil tards
I be fucking toys, givin' myself joys
target practice on me, take my butt and destroy
Femdoms they be stoppin, sittin down watchin
Know they can't stop it, now they wanna crop it
Subbie by my side, you know that she got me
fuckin all these lames, whose game be so sloppy
Dom pay attention, I assume the position
Old Taintedb taking something from your britches

DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)
DOM SIT DOWN! (yay!)

(etc.)

PS to Marquis: when I first heard the original version of this song I instantly thought of you standing in the middle of one of those clubs you go to singing this at the top of your lungs, lol.

Good job TB.
What's the original?

 

[TaintedB]

Good job TB.
What's the original?

Go Sit Down by Maceo. Hilarious song.

 

[Marquis]

Go Sit Down by Maceo. Hilarious song.

Never heard it.

Buy Ready to Die by Notorious B.I.G.

Greatest rap album ever by the greatest rapper of all time. Chock full of awesome beats, cool slang and thought provoking lyrics from a very complicated man.

One of my songs was a takeoff from a song on that album.

 

[TaintedB]

Never heard it.

Buy Ready to Die by Notorious B.I.G.

Greatest rap album ever by the greatest rapper of all time. Chock full of awesome beats, cool slang and thought provoking lyrics from a very complicated man.

One of my songs was a takeoff from a song on that album.

OK, I will! Thanks for the reference. I need to educate myself. Plus it'll be nice to put the music to one of your raps.

In the meantime, I hope you download "Go Sit Down," lolz, so you can see what I am imitating. Although I'm kind of afraid , based on something strange Xebeles said, that you are going to tell me it isn't rap. :/

 

[Marquis]

OK, I will! Thanks for the reference. I need to educate myself. Plus it'll be nice to put the music to one of your raps.

In the meantime, I hope you download "Go Sit Down," lolz, so you can see what I am imitating. Although I'm kind of afraid , based on something strange Xebeles said, that you are going to tell me it isn't rap. :/

If I haven't heard of it...

 

[Xelebes]

OK, I will! Thanks for the reference. I need to educate myself. Plus it'll be nice to put the music to one of your raps.

In the meantime, I hope you download "Go Sit Down," lolz, so you can see what I am imitating. Although I'm kind of afraid , based on something strange Xebeles said, that you are going to tell me it isn't rap. :/

It might be reggae, hiphop or rhythm & blues if it isn't rap. Generally there are only MCs to those three along with rap and jungle and sometimes Dutch gabber (MC Raw, MC Bonehead)

 

[TaintedB]

If I haven't heard of it...

You never finished your sentence. Oh no! OK, I can finish it for you:

"...then I must be woefully behind in my chosen field of study and I shall remedy this posthaste!" :~p

 

[Marquis]

You never finished your sentence. Oh no! OK, I can finish it for you:

"...then I must be woefully behind in my chosen field of study and I shall remedy this posthaste!" :~p

try

"it's either mad oldschool, mad underground or ain't rap"

 

[TaintedB]

try

"it's either mad oldschool, mad underground or ain't rap"

I'm confused. Do you agree with the above or disagree with it?

And if you would only download this song I did my rap to, you could critique it for me. Aren't you just the least bit curious to know what I imagined you singing in the dance clubs?

 

[Marquis]

I'm confused. Do you agree with the above or disagree with it?

And if you would only download this song I did my rap to, you could critique it for me. Aren't you just the least bit curious to know what I imagined you singing in the dance clubs?

You offered one ending to my open sentence, I gave you a more accurate one.

I wasn't too curious, but I'll download it just for you.

 

[TaintedB]

You offered one ending to my open sentence, I gave you a more accurate one.

I wasn't too curious, but I'll download it just for you.

Yay! Thanks! Just don't kill me later for imagining you singing that, lol.

Ok, now, putting your sentence back together. "If I haven't heard of it... it's either mad oldschool, mad underground, or not rap."

I think I had trouble with the terminology. Would this be a good rewrite? "If I haven't heard of it, it's either very old, very obscure, or not rap."

 

[Marquis]

LMAO, where'd you get this from Tainted?

 

[TaintedB]

LMAO, where'd you get this from Tainted?

I heard it on this funky R&B radio station I've started to listen to on the drive home to "educate myself" about rap. Do you see why I thought "Marquis!" when I heard it?

(uh...is it rap???)

 

[Marquis]

I heard it on this funky R&B radio station I've started to listen to on the drive home to "educate myself" about rap. Do you see why I thought "Marquis!" when I heard it?

(uh...is it rap???)

NO I do not see why you think Marquis.

Yes it is rap, sorta. But even on the dirty south bullshit scale this is some bullshit.

 

[Xelebes]

This place needs more UK rap.