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The Redneck Playground

A redneck cowboy rides into a town on a hot blistering day riding his horse with his dog following. He ties his horse and the dog under the shade of a tree. The Redneck cowboy goes into the bar for a cold beer.

About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks who owns the dog tied under the tree. The Redneck cowboy tells him that its his. The policeman says; "Your dog is in heat".

The redneck cowboy answers; "No way the dogs in heat; he's cool, cause he's tied under the shade of the tree".

The policeman says; "No, you don't understand, your dog needs to be bred".

The redneck cowboy shakes his head and says; "No way the dog needs bread, he's not hungry, I gave him beef jerky this morning".

The policeman finally gets mad and says; "Look, your dog wants to have sex".

The redneck cowboy looks at him and says "Go ahead, I always wanted a police-dog".
 
TomBoner said:
A redneck cowboy rides into a town on a hot blistering day riding his horse with his dog following. He ties his horse and the dog under the shade of a tree. The Redneck cowboy goes into the bar for a cold beer.

About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks who owns the dog tied under the tree. The Redneck cowboy tells him that its his. The policeman says; "Your dog is in heat".

The redneck cowboy answers; "No way the dogs in heat; he's cool, cause he's tied under the shade of the tree".

The policeman says; "No, you don't understand, your dog needs to be bred".

The redneck cowboy shakes his head and says; "No way the dog needs bread, he's not hungry, I gave him beef jerky this morning".

The policeman finally gets mad and says; "Look, your dog wants to have sex".

The redneck cowboy looks at him and says "Go ahead, I always wanted a police-dog".
Click to expand...

*SNERK*:D
 
These stories are absolutely true... sadly.

At a particular Wal-Mart where I used to live, I have seen two redneck-ly bizarre sites. The first, late one night after a date with my (at that moment) considerably inebriated girlfriend, we're walking in behind this couple in their 60's. Apparent they had just come from quite the ho-down, as the man was decked out in Roy Acuff's finest, completely with bolo tie, and the woman had on a dress made of most of the red checked gingham this side of the international date line. My GF was doing all she could to suppress giggles, and I'm sure I didn't help matters by quietly singing, "Wish-that-I-was on old Rocky Top..."

The second, and worse one, was late one night on a junk food run, and I was alone (damnit, because this needed witnesses). Another couple, roughly the same age, but far less put-together. The man was in overalls, no shirt, much like the pic above, but at least all his side buttons were down properly. The woman on the other hand, had on jean shorts and a tube top. And... (hrpmrph) in order for the top to cover the requisite bits... it was around her waist.

Saved myself a good bit of junk food money that night. Welcome to Alabama, where the men are men and so are the women.
 
One day when humans are exploring the outer reaches of our universe, rednecks too will be in space. Can you image the space suits or travel vehicles? Rednecks are a force of nature!
 
daus42 said:
http://www.kk.org/streetuse/redneck_root_cellar.jpg
Click to expand...

I always wondered where old school buses went to die.

True Story - My Grandma (Step-Grandma actually) was a big garage sale shopper and dumpster diver. I love garage sales too so I must get the fever from her. Anyway, she would always come home with totally useless items and they of course would pile up in the back yard next to the rabbit cages or sometimes in the front yard. No, the rabbits were not pets. :eek:

At some point she must have found a good deal on old school bus seats or picked them up off the side of the road somewhere. I'm really not sure. What I do know is that they made the best loveseats to put under the trees in the front yard. They all matched too which really spruced up the yard...or so she thought... :rolleyes:

She was a great lady. I miss her.
 
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I always wanted to be a moran! :cool:

:D
 
Don't have a pic to go with this one but thought you all might get a laugh.

How is a redneck divorce like a tornado?
-----Either way, somebody is losing a trailer!

Almost football season, which means it is almost Bubba season. Is there a bounty? Around here they are free-range and home grown.
 
BlueNightingale said:
http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/stltoday.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/8/40/8405c37c-4a20-5a16-906b-44d36f1381db/5033cce739f36.preview-620.jpg

"...is fighting to keep the remains of his late wife right where he dug her grave: In the front yard of his home, just a few feet from the porch."

I'm leaving out the guy's name. These are my people after all.
Click to expand...

'Taint nothin wrong with it neither........ Let the poor guy keep his wife near and dear to him if'ns he wants ta:D
 
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