The unappreciated limerick

[Smuttyandfun]

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little spots on his tool
His doctor a cynic
Said get out of me clinic!
And wipe off that lipstick, you fool!

 

[Bamagan]

The author's hangout was becoming distressed
When yet another thread got obsessed:
Put the butter on top!
No, the bottom, you sop!
Alas, how the arguments digressed!

 

[SimonDoom]

Toilet paper's a subject of wonder:
Should the tissue go over or under?
All think that they're right;
It's caused many a fight,
And it's torn many families asunder.

 

[AsianFusion]

Probably already posted but just in cases -

A delightful young lady from Dallas
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her arsehole in Buckingham Palace

(attributed to Princess Margaret in "The Crown")

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A woman named Miss Juliette
Seemed reserved and staid, and yet
She liked all her men
Dressed up as femmes
And collared and leashed, I bet.

 

[Bamagan]

@EmilyMiller lamented her bust
"These are so small!" she cussed
But it turned out okay
Since @onehitwanda was gay
And small gals are more easily trussed.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not round and pink,
As you probably think -
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass

 

[AlinaX]

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had, um, a nuclear ass
She filled it each day
With hot creamy spray
Until it reached critical mass

 

[AlinaX]

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had - eek! - a sentient ass
It talked all day long
Often broke into song
Until she stuck a plug in its hole

 

[Bamagan]

There was a lass who came from Allegheny
And her buttocks were like those of a jenny
They were furry and gray
If you spanked them she'd bray
Which seemed odd since her mom called her Whinny

 

[EmilyMiller]

@EmilyMiller lamented her bust
"These are so small!" she cussed
But it turned out okay
Since @onehitwanda was gay
And small gals are more easily trussed.

Had missed this .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

@EmilyMiller lamented her bust
"These are so small!" she cussed
But it turned out okay
Since @onehitwanda was gay
And small gals are more easily trussed.

Emily Miller regarded her chest
Her assets weren’t really the best
But her butt was a bubble
Designed to cause trouble
So she bent over once she undressed

 

[Bamagan]

Cheeks like that need to be topped!
Bubbles were made to be popped!
A swish and a swat
To her bum and her twat
And then top and bottom were swapped!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Once a young woman who hailed from PA
Had an irresistible urge just to play
She loved to make noise
With girls and with boys
Mused “I’ll write it as stories one day”

 

[SimonDoom]

A tentacle monster named Steve
With tensions he wished to relieve
Came to the Hangout
And Oh! Then he sang out,
"Check out what I've got up my sleeve."

 

[EmilyMiller]

An unwise working girl once said try me
For just a few dollars you can buy me
If you crave skin on skin
You can still stick it in
For a few dollars more just creampie me

 

[Bamagan]

The lasses at Madam Wanda's are classy
She's got girls who're sweet and who're sassy
But for customers tricky
Who're just too picky
She's got a few ballers who're brassy

 

[EmilyMiller]

A woman once needed to pee
Sad to say no restroom was free
So her panties she soaked
And then just for a joke
Pulled them down to let everyone see

 

[EmilyMiller]

This is essentially the plot of a work-in-progress short story…

I gave my guy’s cock a good tug
Then my ass he proceeded to plug
I wasn’t too coy
To take a large toy
“When it’s in you can give me a hug”

 

[SimonDoom]

This too is a limerick version of a story concept I'm working on:

Jane's Lexus quit outside of town
Near a brothel of worldwide renown
The owner gave her a lift
But requested a gift:
That on a client she'd agree to go down.

 

[EmilyMiller]

This too is a limerick version of a story concept I'm working on:

Jane's Lexus quit outside of town
Near a brothel of worldwide renown
The owner gave her a lift
But requested a gift:
That on a client she'd agree to go down.

It’s basically the same plot as my story, hun .

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

This is essentially the plot of a work-in-progress short story…

I gave my guy’s cock a good tug
Then my ass he proceeded to plug
I wasn’t too coy
To take a large toy
“When it’s in you can give me a hug”

I take it that this isn't going to be one of those long-buildup, lots-of-side-plots type of stories?

 

[SimonDoom]

It’s basically the same plot as my story, hun .

Em

Great minds.

 

[AlinaX]

A girl from a planet long dead
Decided one day to get wed
But try as he might
The groom found her too tight
Till he put kryptonite under the bed

 

[EmilyMiller]

I take it that this isn't going to be one of those long-buildup, lots-of-side-plots type of stories?

Yeah. Slow burn. After 20k words, the FMC takes one bra strap off her shoulder. Then puts it back on.

Em