The unappreciated limerick

[ShandyLeer]

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so big he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
“If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it.”

 

[EmilyMiller]

There was a young girl so demure
Her shyness she wanted to cure
But her hymen preserved
Future husband deserved
A relief sodomy kept her pure

 

[EmilyMiller]

I started to write one in French
But my butt-cheeks began to clench
My vocab is crap
How do they say “fap”?
My poem got thrown a big wrench

 

[EmilyMiller]

I next try to write one in Latin
Recalled "sedebat in” is “sat in”
But I got quite confused
With which word to use
Meant “pussy,” instead entered “cat” in

 

[EmilyMiller]

Is there a Limericks Anonymous?

Help me!

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

@onehitwanda ’s a really fine writer
Her intellect couldn’t be brighter
She paints her tableaus
With such flowing prose
That Emily just wants to bite her

 

[onehitwanda]

@onehitwanda ’s a really fine writer
Her intellect couldn’t be brighter
She paints her tableaus
With such flowing prose
That Emily just wants to bite her

... and now we're blushing. Oh, you.

 

[SimonDoom]

Em's friendship with Wanda's abloom.
Is there more to it? So I assume.
Alas, what a scandal!
Words too hot to handle,
Their peers say, "Girls, please get a room."

 

[EmilyMiller]

Em's friendship with Wanda's abloom.
Is there more to it? So I assume.
Alas, what a scandal!
Words too hot to handle,
Their peers say, "Girls, please get a room."

Perfect .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

It’s late and I should be in bed
But I feel there’s still things to be said
So I waste my time
On cumbersome rhyme
When I could be just fucking instead

 

[EmilyMiller]

Speaking of which. Night all .

Em

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

I once met a woman in Rome
And wanted to take her home
She coyly demurred
And said she preferred
The double X chromosome.

 

[SimonDoom]

Lothario came to Bel Air,
Smart shoes, tight pants, debonair
But now Lo is swimmin'
In beautiful women
And those ladies have mussed up his hair.

 

[Red_Herring4]

A philosopher took a quick jaunt
to a sex shop, a toy he did want.
A fleshlight he loved.
It fit like a glove.
He named it "A-manual Cunt"

 

[EmilyMiller]

Five short lines can lead to addiction
It isn’t a pleasant affliction
Line three and line four
Can be quite a chore
If good scanning is your predilection

 

[SimonDoom]

Five short lines can lead to addiction
It isn’t a pleasant affliction
Line three and line four
Can be quite a chore
If good scanning is your predilection

Very meta.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Very meta.

My middle name is Hofstadter.

Em

 

[Bamagan]

At first I thought you meant lines of coke
Since addiction those can often provoke
But now I'm not sure
Because when it is pure
A limerick's almost as good as a toke.

 

[EmilyMiller]

At first I thought you meant lines of coke

I never tire of my addiction joke…

I’m only addicted to three things, alcohol, caffeine, and semen.

I’m sure no one else gets bored of it either

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

There once was a girl with addiction
To clitoraly applied manual friction
For rubbing her button
She was quite the glutton
And did it with utter conviction

 

[Bamagan]

I never tire of my addiction joke…

I’m only addicted to three things, alcohol, caffeine, and semen.

I’m sure no one else gets bored of it either

Em

Now I can see she meant lines of semen
This girl who writes like a demon
Not coffee nor booze
She wants that dick ooze
It's the wigglies that leave her face beamin'

 

[EmilyMiller]

There’s a song I’ve been humming all day
In my head the lyrics on play
Vagina dentata
Ain’t no stigmata
It helps to keep rogue cocks at bay

Inspired by: https://forum.literotica.com/thread...take-it-any-more.1597819/page-2#post-97751307

And of course @Bramblethorn

Em

 

[AlinaX]

Liselle was a terrible flirt
Forever unbuttoning her shirt
Arrested one day
For public display
She wore nothing beneath her short skirt

Dentata give men quite a fright
Their mighty cocks wilt at the sight
But the pleasure is sweet
For their succulent meat
If they've the courage to risk a wee bite

 

[SimonDoom]

Ed's wife, Joanne, isn't a prude
In fact she likes walking 'round nude
One day she got bare
On the street, with no care
Putting everyone in a good mood.

 

[AlinaX]

Her pussy was terribly wet
She'd shaved it to settle a debt
Playing poker with fam
She said, "Clothes are a sham!
"So how 'bout an interesting bet?"