The ways we neglect ourselves

[teknight]

I heard once it takes 30 days to form a habit. Once things are habit, they tend to be easier to deal with.

So maybe if you just take it 30 days at a time, it would seem like a more manageable goal?

This article says 21 days? See, Stella? You've saved 9 days to living a healthier life, and you didn't have to do anything for it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

21 days, huh?

The family went came back from the grocery store, and I managed to carry a grand total of two gallons of milk. One per hand.

then I went back for something more my size, like the carton of eggs and the loafs of fluffy bread.

 

[HottieMama]

You know, I honestly thought posting part of my struggles would somehow make me feel more accountable....umm...yeah...not so much. Why is it that I have completely no motivation to do this on my own??? I need a task master...someone to remind me...harshly..."Stop binging on crap, fat ass..."

 

[teknight]

You know, I honestly thought posting part of my struggles would somehow make me feel more accountable....umm...yeah...not so much. Why is it that I have completely no motivation to do this on my own??? I need a task master...someone to remind me...harshly..."Stop binging on crap, fat ass..."

Well, alas, posting about your problems serves as a sort of ...safety valve, whereby, if you talk about 'em, you decrease the urgency with which you need to address 'em.

 

[leyna]

You know, I honestly thought posting part of my struggles would somehow make me feel more accountable....umm...yeah...not so much. Why is it that I have completely no motivation to do this on my own??? I need a task master...someone to remind me...harshly..."Stop binging on crap, fat ass..."

the first step towards solving a problem is acknowledging that you have one.
the only way you can binge on crap is if it's available. have a bowl of cereal if you need to satisfy an urge (like honey nut cheerios)
my downfall is chips/salty snacks - i just avoid buying them - if they are there they call to me, if not, not so much ::shrug::
now if if could only quit smoking...

 

[IrisAlthea]

It's a good book, too. I love Pratchett's writing. He writes people.

I'm very good about taking my asthma medication (now). While it's not habit, and I cringe every time I have to pay for it, I really love breathing. A lot. You don't notice it until you can't breathe right and then it's the only thing you can think of at all.

Being able to breathe all day is wonderful!

I'm... not so good at taking care of the rest of me. Need to see a dentist. Need to see an eye doctor. Need to get bloodwork. But damned if I miss taking one of those inhalers, I spend all day gasping for air. It's a start.

I can't help but think, though, that people who only think about their weight (for example) can never go anywhere. That's the problem with us people who spend all of our time thinking about other things! We forget about ourselves because we're lost in a sea of far more interesting, enlightning things than what our bodies happen to be churning out. See, just think about it from that angle. Our forgetfulness is clearly from too much self-enlightenment.

Just remember, to the people who forget about themselves because they're caring for others--if you break, you can't help anyone from there. It's hard for me to remember sometimes. I'm a caretaker by nature and I often let my emotional health slide when trying to take care of other people's sanity. But when I'm lying propped up in bed, rasping for breath, wondering if I'll have to go to the ER again, I can't do anything but think about how I'm breathing... and I can't do a thing for you there.

So I take my meds. Breathing FTW. I had to find a schedule that worked for me, though, and I can remember to take my medication right before bed, but I can't in the morning because I get scatter-brained then. For medication that requires a specific window of time, that might not work, but for those who just have to take medication, maybe fiddling with the time of day you take it might help, because it becomes part of a ritual. I have no morning ritual, but I do have a go-to-bed set of habits. Some people I know always take vitamins with lunch. Others keep them on their computer desk.

@IrisAlthea How much food, though? Could you just take them with a couple crackers in the morning, or something, and retain the 'schedule works if it's right in the morning'? Or could you maybe get a magnetic pill box and stick it to the fridge?

No, it needs to be a regular meal, unfortunately.

Scatter-brained and no morning ritual is a godd description of my mornings too.
For the scatter-brain, I did get one of those weekly boxes, so now I don't have to ask myself if I did take it before or if I just thought about taking it.
I just need to get better at getting up early enough in the morning, so I can have breakfast at home.

 

[GrimsPet]

We could be sisters. Wait, you're not a cousin of mine are you?

I have the same, except I'm not sure if hypoglicemia is the same as pre-diabetic, and I haven't actually been tested for thyroid issues.

My problem is I finally found a doctor who didn't just look at me and go "if you loose weight you'll take care of all of this issues" and throw some birth control at me because I'm "that age". Like the pill and weight loss is some magical cure all that no one ever told me about before. And they don't help you to loose weight other than telling you to stop eating junk, before they even ask what my diet is! Anyway, when I found her, 3 months later she stopped practicing, and I didn't like her replacement. So now I'm inbetween doctors.

I just don't like going for well visits. I feel like they are a waste of time, but I know they are important. Maybe I should just start thinking of myself as sick, then a well visit won't seem so wasteful.

That about sounds like what I've gone through Wenchie. However until I find a decent doctor out there to switch to, I'm left with dealing with what I have. Mine finally took me off the pill a year ago next month when I came in with high blood pressure bordering on stroke level. I was so thankful to be off that damned pill.

As for us being sisters or cousins....
Someplace in this huge world I have a half brother who would be 40. Dad was engaged to a woman in Italy when he was in the Navy. He broke off the engagement due to issues with her family - they hated him because he was an American. Anyways one of his friends saw her about seven months later walking around with a newborn infant with blonde hair. Dad KNEW that kid had to be his. So he went looking for her to do the right thing, marry her and bring her home with him. Her family and the authorities wouldn't tell him where she was. After a couple months of trying everything he was forced to give up as his ship was leaving port.

So if I have a half brother out there, it's possible I could have a half sister as it's an assumption the baby was a boy. No one really knows for sure.

 

[the captians wench]

That about sounds like what I've gone through Wenchie. However until I find a decent doctor out there to switch to, I'm left with dealing with what I have. Mine finally took me off the pill a year ago next month when I came in with high blood pressure bordering on stroke level. I was so thankful to be off that damned pill.

As for us being sisters or cousins....
Someplace in this huge world I have a half brother who would be 40. Dad was engaged to a woman in Italy when he was in the Navy. He broke off the engagement due to issues with her family - they hated him because he was an American. Anyways one of his friends saw her about seven months later walking around with a newborn infant with blonde hair. Dad KNEW that kid had to be his. So he went looking for her to do the right thing, marry her and bring her home with him. Her family and the authorities wouldn't tell him where she was. After a couple months of trying everything he was forced to give up as his ship was leaving port.

So if I have a half brother out there, it's possible I could have a half sister as it's an assumption the baby was a boy. No one really knows for sure.

Wow what a story!

But no, I know my family history and as much as I'd sometimes hope I was adopted, I'm not.

Besides, I'm not old enough to fit your astranged sibling.

 

[daus42]

You know, I honestly thought posting part of my struggles would somehow make me feel more accountable....umm...yeah...not so much. Why is it that I have completely no motivation to do this on my own??? I need a task master...someone to remind me...harshly..."Stop binging on crap, fat ass..."

No one can kick our own ass better than ourselves......I like the old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other- especially when the devil whips up on the angel. That damn devil is way to tempting!!!!

 

[GrimsPet]

Wow what a story!

But no, I know my family history and as much as I'd sometimes hope I was adopted, I'm not.

Besides, I'm not old enough to fit your astranged sibling.

I'm 35.
I have cousins much older than me and much younger than me and some about my age. Hey you could be a cousin!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

No one can kick our own ass better than ourselves......I like the old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other- especially when the devil whips up on the angel. That damn devil is way to tempting!!!!

The angel needs better skills, like nunchucks skills, or bowhunting skills.

 

[the captians wench]

this would work


ETA: Of course, this could be an issue

 

[FurryFury]

From consciousness I can remember wanting to get away, live alone, be alone. That never happened for me.

Soon after I found in myself a terrible need to help others, serve others, placate them and I told myself that was to survive. The truth I've had to face is that I never cared that much for ME for it to be about survival.

I've always tending to put myself in potentially dangerous situations. I've been careless with me. My gut instinct has always been that I'm not important.

Only when I became pregnant did I make better decisions. I had to because when a child or animal is put into your care that is a great responsibility and stewardship.

I had the mind set too that if I were pregnant and it were a case of life and death mine or the fetuses, for instance, I would absolutely want someone to pick the fetus over my life. My husband had to point out to me that I would not only die but leave him and our kids without me, who they need, if I did that to wake me up to the idea that I'm important and need to live. LOL

I will pay more to feed organic food to my cats but not for myself.

I will always take the broken cookie and the chip crumbs over the whole.

OTOH, the older I get, the more I actually begin to like, accept, appreciate and care about me. It's difficult to take the time to take care of myself and I'm very lazy as well as generally uninterested in that enterprise but I do try.

Now I must go change the litter boxes.

FF

 

[Stella_Omega]

So I have taken my itty-bitty little pill correctly mornings days in a row... and thank you Teknight, who PM's me every morning to ask

I am feeling more energy-- although I do lose it suddenly-- and easier to breath and guys this is kinda disgusting, but.. my eyeballs were feeling deeply sunken in and... mooshy. And I can feel that they are more filled with fluid again.


And my joints aren't quite as painful, or maybe not so painful so often.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Yeay unsunken non-mushy eyeballs!

And Teknight, you may have a cottage industry brewing.

 

[HottieMama]

Teknight is super-awesome with these little reminders...

And YAY for non-mooshy eyeballs...(Mooshy is such a giggle word for me, FYI...)


As for me, I cleaned a lot of the crap out of the cabinets today so it's not here for me to randomly eat. Tomorrow is grocery shopping day, and I promised myself I wouldn't buy replacements. Let's see how well that works out.

 

[leyna]

So I have taken my itty-bitty little pill correctly mornings days in a row... and thank you Teknight, who PM's me every morning to ask

I am feeling more energy-- although I do lose it suddenly-- and easier to breath and guys this is kinda disgusting, but.. my eyeballs were feeling deeply sunken in and... mooshy. And I can feel that they are more filled with fluid again.

And my joints aren't quite as painful, or maybe not so painful so often.

GREAT STELLA! Put it where you make your coffee and it'll connect with another habit. Glad you're feeling better already. Nothing like immediate results to help us keep up with what's good for us.

T
As for me, I cleaned a lot of the crap out of the cabinets today so it's not here for me to randomly eat. Tomorrow is grocery shopping day, and I promised myself I wouldn't buy replacements. Let's see how well that works out.

Hottie Momma that's AWESOME, hun! Figure out your triggers and what it is you go for and have a substitute at the ready.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

So I have taken my itty-bitty little pill correctly mornings days in a row... and thank you Teknight, who PM's me every morning to ask

I am feeling more energy-- although I do lose it suddenly-- and easier to breath and guys this is kinda disgusting, but.. my eyeballs were feeling deeply sunken in and... mooshy. And I can feel that they are more filled with fluid again.


And my joints aren't quite as painful, or maybe not so painful so often.

Yay for feeling better ^_^

 

[HottieMama]

Went grocery shopping today, and didn't buy any crap that I shouldn't eat. I bought some stuff for the kids, but it's stuff that I know I will never eat, like fruit roll-ups.

YAY!!!!! Go Me!!!!!

 

[leyna]

Went grocery shopping today, and didn't buy any crap that I shouldn't eat. I bought some stuff for the kids, but it's stuff that I know I will never eat, like fruit roll-ups.

YAY!!!!! Go Me!!!!!

 

[YourCaptor]

Habituation gets me most of all.

I find mixing up the place I put everything helps.

Sometimes you just have to tape a pill box to your arm.

Don't know how yours work, but when you think of it and its a bit early, just go ahead and take em, better now than waiting thirty minutes and forgetting for another 4 hours.

Also being able to take everything without liquid helps.

 

[Mz_Cunningham]

So I have taken my itty-bitty little pill correctly mornings days in a row... and thank you Teknight, who PM's me every morning to ask

I am feeling more energy-- although I do lose it suddenly-- and easier to breath and guys this is kinda disgusting, but.. my eyeballs were feeling deeply sunken in and... mooshy. And I can feel that they are more filled with fluid again.


And my joints aren't quite as painful, or maybe not so painful so often.

Way to go Stella, glad you're feeling better

and thank you Teknight, who PM's me every morning to ask

I knew that Teknight had a heart! Blackmailing time

 

[Stella_Omega]

So, going from none thyroid, to some thyroid? Is really rough on the emotions. Yesterday was ... unsteady, to say the least, with panic attack-- feelings threatening all day...

Yuck. Sometimes getting better hurts, too.

 

[graceanne]

years ago, I invested in some of these weekly pill holders these round weekly pill holders I only need to take my pill once, in the morning, but when I needed two different times, I set up two of the holders. If I miss a pill, it stays in the holder, and I can see what I've taken and what I've missed.

Would that help you, graceanne?

I had one of those, once. It works when I remember to fill it. I really am a ding-dong. K has promised to help me remember, but he's iffy, too.

And yeah, I also know what you mean about self esteem issues. My partner has started to take daily meds, and he bustles around and makes a bit of a fuss about it-- and it's very irritating to me, it seems a titch self aggrandizing.

Oh, I don't go around constantly harping on my self esteem issues. In fact, quite the opposite - it usually surprises people if we get into a conversation about ourselves. I learned in high school that the best way to keep from getting teased was to fake a good self esteem - teenagers are like chickens, they'll pick at your weaknesses until you bleed to death.

And honestly, I don't know if I think my self view is that off. It's like saying I'm fat instantly means that everyone around me suddenly has to say 'oh you're not fat', which is big fat fucking lie. I'm 110 lbs over MY target weight - if I go by the doctors charts for someone my height I'm about 140 lbs overweight. So if people will lie to me like that, how can I trust them when they say I'm not an idiot? I mean, for gosh sake, I can't remember to take my meds or where I put my bra or to grab my keys, or when my doctors appointments are. I don't know how other people define it, but I know that I'm a ditz! I don't consider that a bad self esteem - I consider it having a realistic view of myself. But I'm evidently the only one who feels that way. *shrugs*

@ Stella_Omega
my stepmother is on thyroid meds and has done exactly what you've been doing because she has been looking after my Dad and is "Too busy to remember". I've bought her a digital pillbox that has an alarm and so far, this week it is working. Cross fingers.

A digital pillbox, with an alarm? Huh. That's cool.

Part of it stems from self esteem: I have feelings of inadequacy and have used the weight to insulate myself from the perceived criticism.
Part of it is emotional eating: like was mentioned above; life circles the drain and in addition to functioning in survival mode to keep life moving forward, out comes the life raft made of doritos.
Part of it stems from physical limitations: I have issues with my feet so even non-strenuous day-to-day walking is very painful, let alone any meaningful physical activity.
Part of it stems from food choices: I know the grilled chicken salad is good for me but it just doesn't sound good, so I have the crispy chicken salad instead.
Part of it stems from futility: I've been trying to lose weight since I was fifteen, what makes me think its going to work now?
And part is because aside from my weight there's nothing wrong with me. My blood work always come back good. Blood sugar, liver function, lipids; all normal. So, if I'm "healthy" then the fat is just a matter of vanity and *I have bigger things to worry about* than vanity.

To everyone who has heard why I'm fat, be warned. I'm about to go over it again.

I'm not fat because I eat too much, I'm fat because I was on prednisone, off and on, for several years. I've had prednisone put into IV's to keep me alive. Add diabetes and that it's hard for me to move around cause of my arthritis, and I've had doctors tell me I'm fucked. My new doctor wants me on a diet, that works, but it's $360 dollars a month, and I cannot afford it.

 

[graceanne]

So, going from none thyroid, to some thyroid? Is really rough on the emotions. Yesterday was ... unsteady, to say the least, with panic attack-- feelings threatening all day...

Yuck. Sometimes getting better hurts, too.

*hugs*

As soon as I go grocery shopping, I'm going to go back on my sugar free, gluten free, milk free diet. Not because it's gonna do squat for my weight, but because my feet don't hurt me when I'm on it and my energy is better. The bad side? I'm going to be a bitch on wheels for the first two weeks while I deal with sugar cravings.