Things that shouldn't be heard...

[lovemonster]

Ok, welcome...you've all been recommended from the Coca Cola Bottling factory...we do things much the same here

While on a tour of Elvis' Graceland.

And in the bottles to the left, you'll see the actual vomit and faeces left by the king on the night he died..


While at the top of the Empire State Building

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

And in the bottles to the left, you'll see the actual vomit and faeces left by the king on the night he died..


While at the top of the Empire State Building

uhmm,,,do you feel the ground crumbling away?





Whilst in the reception room waiting for your gyno appointment.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Whilst in the reception room waiting for your gyno appointment.

When did he start inserting that 1 inch jelly as part of his procedure? Hope he sanitizes it.

While waiting for another doctor's exam.

 

[lovemonster]

While waiting for another doctor's exam.

What do you mean, he's not a qualified gynaecologist??

While standing in line for cinema tickets

 

[e-trance action]

What do you mean, he's not a qualified gynaecologist??

While standing in line for cinema tickets

what do you mean I should have brought wet-naps and a towel for this theatre?

while looking at Lovemonster's Ampics thread

 

[lovemonster]

while looking at Lovemonster's Ampics thread

Who the hell removed all the links???

While chatting to e-trance action

 

[e-trance action]

Who the hell removed all the links???

While chatting to e-trance action

and now you're wide awake and feeling refreshed-that was fun now, wasn't it?

while watching Essa and LM have a cat fight on a thread

 

[lovemonster]

and now you're wide awake and feeling refreshed-that was fun now, wasn't it?

while watching Essa and LM have a cat fight on a thread

What do you mean they refuse to fight in mud?

while trying to park the car

 

[e-trance action]

What do you mean they refuse to fight in mud?

while trying to park the car

what do you mean we missed the mud fight?

while trying out for a tv game show

 

[lovemonster]

while trying out for a tv game show

Didn't anyone tell you? To win the star prize, you have to fight naked. In mud.

While playing poker for high stakes

 

[e-trance action]

Didn't anyone tell you? To win the star prize, you have to fight naked. In mud.

While playing poker for high stakes

Didn't anyone tell you-you sit naked in mud around the table

while sitting naked in mud

 

[lovemonster]

Didn't anyone tell you-you sit naked in mud around the table

while sitting naked in mud

Erm....ok, who used the concrete mix by accident?

While being jackhammered out of concrete

 

[e-trance action]

Erm....ok, who used the concrete mix by accident?

While being jackhammered out of concrete

can you tilt the hammer a bit that way...mmmm the vibrations are lovely

while getting ready to enjoy some 'personal time'

 

[lovemonster]

while getting ready to enjoy some 'personal time'

You won't mind babysitting for the kids in the street for an hour or so will you?

While in the shower.

 

[e-trance action]

You won't mind babysitting for the kids in the street for an hour or so will you?

While in the shower.

there's been an alarm, everyone please evacuate the building, no stopping for any personal items.

while standing outside a building during a fire drill

 

[lovemonster]

there's been an alarm, everyone please evacuate the building, no stopping for any personal items.

while standing outside a building during a fire drill

I'm sorry, there's been a sprinkler malfunction....they went off accidentally in your room.

While standing at the luggage carousel at the airport.

 

[e-trance action]

I'm sorry, there's been a sprinkler malfunction....they went off accidentally in your room.

While standing at the luggage carousel at the airport.

I'm sorry ma'am, we had to detonate your luggage because it was buzzing as it was unloaded from the plane.

while editing pics for your pic thread

 

[lovemonster]

while editing pics for your pic thread

I'm sorry, that computer crash was so unexpected, there was not time to backup. All data is unrecoverable.

While writing a story for Lit

 

[availableslave2u]

While writing a story for Lit

your minister is on the phone (don't laugh, actually happened to me)

while eating a bowl of ice cream

 

[Husker1987]

your minister is on the phone (don't laugh, actually happened to me)

while eating a bowl of ice cream

Why yes, that is a mouse tail, its Rocky Road Kill

while having sex in a tent....

 

[lovemonster]

Why yes, that is a mouse tail, its Rocky Road Kill

while having sex in a tent....

Are you sure it's a good idea to use the guide ropes for bondage honey?

While riding on a bus.

 

[e-trance action]

Are you sure it's a good idea to use the guide ropes for bondage honey?

While riding on a bus.

You remember the masturbation episode on Seinfeld where Jerry was singing "The Wheels on the Bus" while Kramer looked at the woman? That's putting some ideas in my head.

as a judge at a beauty pageant

 

[lovemonster]

You remember the masturbation episode on Seinfeld where Jerry was singing "The Wheels on the Bus" while Kramer looked at the woman? That's putting some ideas in my head.

as a judge at a beauty pageant

OK, we'll be judging the 'Masturbation for World Peace' round next.

Whilst on the beach

 

[Azuldrgon]

Whilst on the beach

Ma'am, we have to to issue you a ticket. This isn't a topless beach. Oh, my apologies sir.

while waiting for your prescription at the pharmacists.

 

[MollyDolly]

Ma'am, we have to to issue you a ticket. This isn't a topless beach. Oh, my apologies sir.

while waiting for your prescription at the pharmacists.

(To the attractive gentleman in front of you) Apply the cream 4 times daily and that contagious rash on your balls should clear right up.

While at the local Blockbuster renting a DVD.