Things that shouldn't be heard...

[Azuldrgon]

While at the airport check-in desk.

So what does this foot long twelve inch buzzing thing do again, Sir?

while in a fast food drive thru.

 

[lovemonster]

while in a fast food drive thru.

I'm sorry sir, the customer in front of you has broken down and the tow truck is 45 minutes away. Have a nice day.

As you get on the bus

 

[IsabellaKing]

As you get on the bus

Anyone know whose bag that is?

In the swimming Pool

 

[lovemonster]

Anyone know whose bag that is?

In the swimming Pool

We've decided to go organic and stop using chemicals in the water.

At the Old Folks Home

 

[e-trance action]

We've decided to go organic and stop using chemicals in the water.

At the Old Folks Home

What do you mean Nurse Adams slipped Viagra into all the male residents breakfasts?

Standing in line to vote

 

[lovemonster]

What do you mean Nurse Adams slipped Viagra into all the male residents breakfasts?

Standing in line to vote

So how do I vote for Osama?

On the beach

 

[e-trance action]

So how do I vote for Osama?

On the beach

I'm sure that's a child with a plastic play fin circling your children.

waking up next to another Litster

 

[lovemonster]

I'm sure that's a child with a plastic play fin circling your children.

waking up next to another Litster

OK.....you get 5.3 out of 10. That puts you 18th in the league table.

whilst in Disneyworld

 

[e-trance action]

OK.....you get 5.3 out of 10. That puts you 18th in the league table.

whilst in Disneyworld

Did you know that Goofy's head looks just like your....... we can never have sex again.


While riding the subway

 

[lovemonster]

Did you know that Goofy's head looks just like your....... we can never have sex again.

While riding the subway

What do you mean that's not your newspaper poking in my back?

while at Seaworld

 

[e-trance action]

What do you mean that's not your newspaper poking in my back?

while at Seaworld

what do you mean there's no one-eyed tuna exhibit....oh my!


while visiting Buckingham Palace

 

[lovemonster]

what do you mean there's no one-eyed tuna exhibit....oh my!


while visiting Buckingham Palace

OK, which one of you sat on the corgi?

while exchanging vows in church.

 

[e-trance action]

OK, which one of you sat on the corgi?

while exchanging vows in church.

do I have to obey when she doesn't have the catsuit on?

while betting on horses at the track

 

[lovemonster]

do I have to obey when she doesn't have the catsuit on?

while betting on horses at the track

No, he runs fine with just three legs...you watch.

while ordering at Starbucks.

 

[e-trance action]

No, he runs fine with just three legs...you watch.

while ordering at Starbucks.

no sir, we don't sell "grand lassies" here.

while at the massage parlour

 

[lovemonster]

no sir, we don't sell "grand lassies" here.

while at the massage parlour

Yes, we do a genital massage....with this new aromatherapy Chilli oil.

while getting a brazilian wax.

 

[e-trance action]

Yes, we do a genital massage....with this new aromatherapy Chilli oil.

while getting a brazilian wax.

Don't worry, those ingrown hairs will come right out as well.

while giving a Brazilian wax

 

[lovemonster]

Don't worry, those ingrown hairs will come right out as well.

while giving a Brazilian wax

Can I have the hair afterwards, I'm making a toy doll for my kid.


While buying a sandwich.

 

[e-trance action]

Can I have the hair afterwards, I'm making a toy doll for my kid.


While buying a sandwich.

Now where did that hair from my Brazilian get to?


While collecting donations for the needy

 

[lovemonster]

Now where did that hair from my Brazilian get to?


While collecting donations for the needy

Look, I've only got a few coins. Or I have some brazilian wax hair if that's any use to you?

While swimming with dolphins

 

[e-trance action]

Look, I've only got a few coins. Or I have some brazilian wax hair if that's any use to you?

While swimming with dolphins

what do you mean that isn't his nose butting me?

while swimming with your SO

 

[lovemonster]

what do you mean that isn't his nose butting me?

while swimming with your SO

I bet I look better in that bikini than you do.

while on the motorway

 

[asian_princess]

I bet I look better in that bikini than you do.

while on the motorway

"Qu'est-ce que c'est "wrong way, go back"?!


At the Coca Cola Bottling factory.

 

[lovemonster]

"Qu'est-ce que c'est "wrong way, go back"?!


At the Coca Cola Bottling factory.

Any bottles that aren't quite full, we pee in to top up. Nobody knows the difference.

At a McDonalds training seminar.

 

[asian_princess]

Any bottles that aren't quite full, we pee in to top up. Nobody knows the difference.

At a McDonalds training seminar.

Ok, welcome...you've all been recommended from the Coca Cola Bottling factory...we do things much the same here



While on a tour of Elvis' Graceland.