Things that shouldn't be heard...

[Azuldrgon]

While at the local Blockbuster renting a DVD.

Eww you would think these pervs would use a tissue. I mean, it's Roger Rabbit's movie for god's sake.

While posing for pictures.

 

[MollyDolly]

While posing for pictures.

She looks much better in her Lit AV...

While shopping at the liquour store.

 

[Azuldrgon]

While shopping at the liquour store.

no, we do not sell Spanish Fly here. What do you mean you need it for your prom?

while going lingerie shopping.

 

[MollyDolly]

while going lingerie shopping.

I need new panties. I had to burn all my old ones when I found out my boyfriend was seretly wearing them to work.

While on hold waiting to speak with a representative from your cellphone company.

 

[Azuldrgon]

While on hold waiting to speak with a representative from your cellphone company.

we appreciate your business, please hold while we find someone to fuck with you more.

while in your lawyer's office.

 

[MollyDolly]

while in your lawyer's office.

So, the province has added on charges of beastiality and sodomy to the standing charges of credit card fraud against your husband...

At the bus terminal after midnight.

 

[Azuldrgon]

At the bus terminal after midnight.

we can get you to twenty minutes away from home, but you may have to give it up to get the rest of the way.

while trying to get into the club.

 

[MollyDolly]

we can get you to twenty minutes away from home, but you may have to give it up to get the rest of the way.

while trying to get into the club.

Sounds like bus drivers in Niagara hehe

So Wednesday nights are now Drag Queen Bingo?

On the radio traffic report on the way home from work.

 

[e-trance action]

Sounds like bus drivers in Niagara hehe

So Wednesday nights are now Drag Queen Bingo?

On the radio traffic report on the way home from work.

our helicopter is reporting a mass public urination on the expressway, motorists are advised to choose a different route or to keep their windows and vents closed.

in the bathroom on an airplane

 

[lovemonster]

our helicopter is reporting a mass public urination on the expressway, motorists are advised to choose a different route or to keep their windows and vents closed.

in the bathroom on an airplane

May we please remind you that only one person at a time can use these facilities. Thankyou.

whilst booking theatre tickets.

 

[MollyDolly]

May we please remind you that only one person at a time can use these facilities. Thankyou.

whilst booking theatre tickets.

You know, LM, I don't think I'd be bothered by two people using the bathroom in a plane... interesting story to tell about your trip, don't you think?

Sorry sir, but we are all sold out for "The Vagina Monologues"- care to purchase tickets for "Puppetry of the Penis?"

While working out at the co-ed health club.

 

[e-trance action]

You know, LM, I don't think I'd be bothered by two people using the bathroom in a plane... interesting story to tell about your trip, don't you think?

Sorry sir, but we are all sold out for "The Vagina Monologues"- care to purchase tickets for "Puppetry of the Penis?"

While working out at the co-ed health club.

No sir, that was not a horizontal urinal in the co-ed washroom, that was a bidet.

While taking an evening cooking class

 

[lovemonster]

No sir, that was not a horizontal urinal in the co-ed washroom, that was a bidet.

While taking an evening cooking class

So tonight we're going to make hash cakes, does everyone have their own weed?

While reading the newspaper

 

[e-trance action]

So tonight we're going to make hash cakes, does everyone have their own weed?

While reading the newspaper

A research study has just revealed that exposure to newsprint may cause cancer, erectile dysfunction and mental illness

while playing on the PG

 

[lovemonster]

A research study has just revealed that exposure to newsprint may cause cancer, erectile dysfunction and mental illness

while playing on the PG

Run for the hills!! The GB'ers are staging a coup!!!!

While on the phone to your boss.

 

[e-trance action]

Run for the hills!! The GB'ers are staging a coup!!!!

While on the phone to your boss.

*through computer speakers*

E? It's LM, are you still there? Should I keep spanking my ass with the paddle or start inserting the ice cubes?



while you debate whether you should have posted what you did

 

[lovemonster]

*through computer speakers*

E? It's LM, are you still there? Should I keep spanking my ass with the paddle or start inserting the ice cubes?



while you debate whether you should have posted what you did

*your boss's voice on the telephone*
OK E, who the hell is LM and why is she sticking ice cubes up her ass??

while in a meeting with a prospective client

 

[e-trance action]

*your boss's voice on the telephone*
OK E, who the hell is LM and why is she sticking ice cubes up her ass??

while in a meeting with a prospective client

Ok, who the hell is LM and why are you sticking ice cubes up your ass?

While sticking ice cubes up your ass

 

[lovemonster]

Ok, who the hell is LM and why are you sticking ice cubes up your ass?

While sticking ice cubes up your ass

Look, I said cubes, not a 10" square ice block!!

While listening to someone sticking ice cubes up their ass

 

[e-trance action]

Look, I said cubes, not a 10" square ice block!!

While listening to someone sticking ice cubes up their ass

That noise of something hitting the mic-I had burritos for lunch. Now I have to find that cube.

while listening to someone masturbating while sitting on a 10" square ice block

 

[lovemonster]

That noise of something hitting the mic-I had burritos for lunch. Now I have to find that cube.

while listening to someone masturbating while sitting on a 10" square ice block

Erm...does anyone know how long it takes before you get a frostbitten arse?

while taking someone with a frostbitten arse to the hospital

 

[e-trance action]

Erm...does anyone know how long it takes before you get a frostbitten arse?

while taking someone with a frostbitten arse to the hospital

You bastard! They told you not to rub it, but oh, no, you're the ass expert.

While getting treated at Emergency for a black eye and bruised testes.

 

[lovemonster]

You bastard! They told you not to rub it, but oh, no, you're the ass expert.

While getting treated at Emergency for a black eye and bruised testes.

So, could you just run that by me again sir. I want to get the story right when I tell everyone in the canteen later.

While in the hospital waiting room

 

[e-trance action]

So, could you just run that by me again sir. I want to get the story right when I tell everyone in the canteen later.

While in the hospital waiting room

Would the ass-rubber with the wounded stones please come to X-ray? Ass-rubber with wounded stones to X-ray?

funny how no one jumped in to take this over

In the X-ray department

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Would the ass-rubber with the wounded stones please come to X-ray? Ass-rubber with wounded stones to X-ray?

funny how no one jumped in to take this over

In the X-ray department

"Ma'am have you ever knowingly ingested a corkscrew?"



At the concession stand for a music festival,,,