Things that shouldn't be heard...

[BoomerP]

pop in the washroom with me after we get on-we can have a quick go and I won't have to buy a ticket then.

while blow drying your hair to go out

I'm almost done, just have to blow dry my pubic hair!

While at the laundry and putting your dirty clothes in the machine

 

[lovemonster]

I'm almost done, just have to blow dry my pubic hair!

While at the laundry and putting your dirty clothes in the machine

Do you mind if I sniff your panties before you wash them?

Whilst waiting for confessional at church.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Do you mind if I sniff your panties before you wash them?

Whilst waiting for confessional at church.

Dear God in heaven,but you did WHAT??????????????



at the Library?

 

[lovemonster]

Dear God in heaven,but you did WHAT??????????????



at the Library?

I'm sorry, you've left that edition of the Kama Sutra so badly stained, you'll have to pay for a new one.

In the local supermarket.

 

[Azuldrgon]

In the local supermarket.

I don't care if you really want one, I am not buying an English cucumber to stick inside you, Dan.

At the lawyer's office.

 

[e-trance action]

I don't care if you really want one, I am not buying an English cucumber to stick inside you, Dan.

At the lawyer's office.

Why don't you just drop your pants now-you know you're going to be screwed before this case is over.

In line for the washroom at a club

 

[Azuldrgon]

In line for the washroom at a club

You need to go pee? Let me hold that piece for you.

While cooking dinner.

 

[de-valmont]

Don't taste that sauce mix it's got peanuts...

Call the ambulance!


While in the accident and emergency waiting room.

 

[e-trance action]

Don't taste that sauce mix it's got peanuts...

Call the ambulance!


While in the accident and emergency waiting room.

Code brown stat!-we have 24 people coming in with explosive diarrhea!


as your Brazilian wax is about to begin

 

[availableslave2u]

Code brown stat!-we have 24 people coming in with explosive diarrhea!


as your Brazilian wax is about to begin

i've never done this before, do i put the wax all over?

when you enter the doctor's office

 

[lovemonster]

i've never done this before, do i put the wax all over?

when you enter the doctor's office

Nurse, I think we're going to need the heavy duty rubber gloves and the extra large speculum.

When you visit your bank manager

 

[e-trance action]

Nurse, I think we're going to need the heavy duty rubber gloves and the extra large speculum.

When you visit your bank manager

We've decided that you won't be able to meet your new loan payments on your current salary so we're putting your ass to work out on the corner.


At the customer service counter of Victoria's Secret

 

[lovemonster]

We've decided that you won't be able to meet your new loan payments on your current salary so we're putting your ass to work out on the corner.


At the customer service counter of Victoria's Secret

I'm sorry madam, I've told you we don't give refunds on used panties.


At the popcorn counter in the cinema

 

[e-trance action]

I'm sorry madam, I've told you we don't give refunds on used panties.


At the popcorn counter in the cinema

I'm sorry folks we don't keep a lost and found for undergarments

during your driving test

 

[lovemonster]

I'm sorry folks we don't keep a lost and found for undergarments

during your driving test

Normally a red light means 'stop'......

At the supermarket checkout.

 

[e-trance action]

Normally a red light means 'stop'......

At the supermarket checkout.

price check on the club pack of hemorrhoid cream

in the vicar's office

 

[lovemonster]

price check on the club pack of hemorrhoid cream

in the vicar's office

How did we meet? Well, I was touting on the street corner.....

In the photocopier room

 

[e-trance action]

How did we meet? Well, I was touting on the street corner.....

In the photocopier room

just 2 more and there'll be a xerox of my ass in everyone's mailbox

at the real estate office

 

[lovemonster]

just 2 more and there'll be a xerox of my ass in everyone's mailbox

at the real estate office

No, there's absolutely no need to worry about that development at the end of the garden, it's only a small shopping mall...

at the bridal shop.

 

[e-trance action]

No, there's absolutely no need to worry about that development at the end of the garden, it's only a small shopping mall...

at the bridal shop.

That dress is a big seller with our cross-dressing clients.

at the chip shack

 

[lovemonster]

That dress is a big seller with our cross-dressing clients.

at the chip shack

The health inspector said it was perfectly fine to keep rats as pets!

on the rollercoaster

 

[Azuldrgon]

on the rollercoaster

Damn, the bar is stuck....No!! Don't go yet!!!!!

At the local bar.

 

[lovemonster]

Damn, the bar is stuck....No!! Don't go yet!!!!!

At the local bar.

Look, how many times do I have to tell you, Happy Hour does NOT mean you have to tell a joke every time I get you a drink.

In the hotel reception

 

[Azuldrgon]

In the hotel reception

No, you cannot pay five bucks and fuck that hooker on the couch.

while watching home movies with the so.

 

[lovemonster]

while watching home movies with the so.

What do you mean, you taped porn over our wedding video? I sent that to my gran to watch!

While at the airport check-in desk.