Things that shouldn't be heard...

[VFaulkon]

And although they still haven't figured out what killed him, they have narrowed it down to one of two STDs...

While at a Halloween party

What hideous mask? ...what do you mean 'it's a costume party?!'

Peeing in a urinal in a men's bathroom when you aren't alone

 

[MollyDolly]

What hideous mask? ...what do you mean 'it's a costume party?!'

Peeing in a urinal in a men's bathroom when you aren't alone

since I'm female

and everytime I flush the urinal my back gets wet

Finding that there is a couple in the bathroom stall next to you

 

[VFaulkon]

since I'm female

and everytime I flush the urinal my back gets wet

Finding that there is a couple in the bathroom stall next to you

Wow...I think my bathroom break's gonna be a little bit longer...*unzip*

In a movie theatre, during the movie

 

[MollyDolly]

Wow...I think my bathroom break's gonna be a little bit longer...*unzip*

In a movie theatre, during the movie

"Why's the floor so sticky?" "I just came..."

at the sexual health clinic...

 

[Jekyll87]

"Why's the floor so sticky?" "I just came..."

at the sexual health clinic...

Have you heard about the new STD that can spread even when using condoms ?

On a lit post...

 

[MollyDolly]

Have you heard about the new STD that can spread even when using condoms ?

On a lit post...

Have you heard about the new STD that can spread simply by posting on the masturbation thread?

On the masturbation thread...

 

[Jekyll87]

Have you heard about the new STD that can spread simply by posting on the masturbation thread?

On the masturbation thread...

I'm doing it right now.....oh good I have company...here boy

On your lit profile ...

 

[Azuldrgon]

On your lit profile ...

Azul's a playa. His wife's number is....

while listening to an audio story.

 

[e-trance action]

Azul's a playa. His wife's number is....

while listening to an audio story.

*glancing at another site*

"I'm taking you in my hands and...fucking pay attention you ass!"

while writing your will

 

[de-valmont]

Won't be long to wait now and we're rich...


While talking to an elderly relative on the telephone

 

[Azuldrgon]

While talking to an elderly relative on the telephone

What do you mean that's your nephew on the phone? You said you were an only child.


while at a car dealership.

 

[e-trance action]

What do you mean that's your nephew on the phone? You said you were an only child.


while at a car dealership.

yes darlin' if you sleep with me I'll overcharge that chump waiting outside so you can buy your car at 2/3 of cost.

while waiting to vote

 

[MSH2]

yes darlin' if you sleep with me I'll overcharge that chump waiting outside so you can buy your car at 2/3 of cost.

while waiting to vote

Will the person that peed in the Ultra Violet Dye bottle please hand themselves in at security

While standing behind at expectant mother in the line at the store

 

[e-trance action]

Will the person that peed in the Ultra Violet Dye bottle please hand themselves in at security

While standing behind at expectant mother in the line at the store

*splash*

While mopping up after an expectant mother in a store

 

[fathom7]

Snap as long as we're doing onomonopoeia

Upon the third stroke into your lover's preferred orifice.

 

[waterspryte]

Snap as long as we're doing onomonopoeia

Upon the third stroke into your lover's preferred orifice.

*snore* not that I've ever done that

Upon getting into a crowded elevator on your way to work......

 

[fathom7]

OOPS

From any physician in surgery.

 

[waterspryte]

Where is that scalpel gone?

From the person you trusted with your heart........

 

[fathom7]

The closing of the door as your lover leaves you without warning.

 

[waterspryte]

Never by anyone.

By the chef at the fancy restaurant you have waited forever to attend

 

[fathom7]

I am sorry we are out of the fish.

By the neighbor lady.

 

[waterspryte]

Who was here yesterday if you're getting home now?

By the travel agent you booked that special trip through

 

[fathom7]

I'm sorry that country just had a coup d'etat. All travel is cancelled.


By the governor of your state or province.

 

[waterspryte]

There will be no more healthcare.

By the storeclerk where you are purchasing your new computer

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

There will be no more healthcare.

By the storeclerk where you are purchasing your new computer

there was only minor water damage to this during the flood......






after placing your take away order at the pizza parlour...