Things that shouldn't be heard...

[laffin_lady]

hearing a couple going at it behind you, and you trying not to turn around much less explaining to your kids what is happening, lol.

Stopping by your boyfriend's house unannounced.......................

 

[Azuldrgon]

Stopping by your boyfriend's house unannounced.......................

I can't believe I have to share your dick with a girl....(obvious gay guy in the room)

while standing in line at the DMV

 

[e-trance action]

I can't believe I have to share your dick with a girl....(obvious gay guy in the room)

while standing in line at the DMV

This driving examiner isn't the one I sent on stress leave so I think I have a real shot this time-lucky 13 and all.

while asking the clerk in an adult store about a particular sex toy.

 

[mendingsoul]

This driving examiner isn't the one I sent on stress leave so I think I have a real shot this time-lucky 13 and all.

while asking the clerk in an adult store about a particular sex toy.

She tells you about another customer who had the same toy that landed in the ER after using it the first time.

After undressing and putting on one of those paper gowns, your Dr comes in and says:

 

[e-trance action]

She tells you about another customer who had the same toy that landed in the ER after using it the first time.

After undressing and putting on one of those paper gowns, your Dr comes in and says:

Now let's get you to exam room on the other side of the hospital-we'll take a shortcut through the maternity ward.

as the jailer locks the cell door on you

 

[Azuldrgon]

as the jailer locks the cell door on you

hope you don't mind. These guys were all caught from that Predator tv show.

when you visit your uncle at the hospital.

 

[e-trance action]

hope you don't mind. These guys were all caught from that Predator tv show.

when you visit your uncle at the hospital.

*handing you the bag and hose*

We're short staffed and your uncle needs an enema-we were hoping a family member would show up

When you bite into your dinner at a family reunion

 

[Azuldrgon]

When you bite into your dinner at a family reunion

Mom, where's fluffy?

when you arrive at your new office after getting all your stuff moved.

 

[e-trance action]

Mom, where's fluffy?

when you arrive at your new office after getting all your stuff moved.

The boss' "secretary" likes this spot better so you need to move your stuff down to the mail room.

When the dentist has just put the needle in your mouth

 

[Azuldrgon]

When the dentist has just put the needle in your mouth

I was in such a hurry I forgot to sterilize it.

while waiting for the mrs. outside a fitting room.

 

[e-trance action]

I was in such a hurry I forgot to sterilize it.

while waiting for the mrs. outside a fitting room.

These panties make my package look so big, I'm going to pop outside for a second opinion.

In the washroom at the office Christmas party

 

[Azuldrgon]

In the washroom at the office Christmas party

I'll slip her a spiked drink and then you get her hubby(you) out of here.

while waiting for your daughter's parent teacher conference.

 

[e-trance action]

I'll slip her a spiked drink and then you get her hubby(you) out of here.

while waiting for your daughter's parent teacher conference.

mmm...failing grades, taking drugs, pulled a train with the entire football team....which one should I start with?


As you are leaving the room when you and your wife are having friends over

 

[Azuldrgon]

As you are leaving the room when you and your wife are having friends over

Is this the sex tape your wife told me about?

while talking with your friends during said get together.

 

[e-trance action]

Is this the sex tape your wife told me about?

while talking with your friends during said get together.

Have you solved that impotence problem your wife's been telling us about?

*wife hangs head while softly shaking it side to side*

While ordering meat at the butcher

 

[de-valmont]

Anyone seen Martha lately?

While ordering a drink at the bar.

 

[MollyDolly]

Anyone seen Martha lately?

While ordering a drink at the bar.

I said one ruffie colada! How can I have my way with him if I'm passed out as well? There goes your tip!

While standing in a crowded elevator.

 

[syncope2]

I said one ruffie colada! How can I have my way with him if I'm passed out as well? There goes your tip!

While standing in a crowded elevator.

" Daddy, he just farted!"

While standing by the urinal

 

[e-trance action]

" Daddy, he just farted!"

While standing by the urinal

I just like to close my eyes, step back and let it fly.

While reaching for another condom

 

[lovemonster]

I just like to close my eyes, step back and let it fly.

While reaching for another condom

Erm...sorry, the first one broke....while I was inside you


While opening up a surprise parcel you receive in the mail.

 

[e-trance action]

Erm...sorry, the first one broke....while I was inside you


While opening up a surprise parcel you receive in the mail.

Hi LM, I'm here with those ideas you suggested I think up

While hanging in a sex swing

 

[lovemonster]

Hi LM, I'm here with those ideas you suggested I think up

While hanging in a sex swing

Oh fuck, I just felt my back go!

While standing in the queue in a lingerie shop

 

[e-trance action]

Oh fuck, I just felt my back go!

While standing in the queue in a lingerie shop

What do you mean I can't be a lingerie model with "blower's lip"?

While making Christmas dinner for your SO's family?

 

[lovemonster]

What do you mean I can't be a lingerie model with "blower's lip"?

While making Christmas dinner for your SO's family?

I did tell you my mum and dad were allergic to poultry, didn't I darling?

While waiting for a train.

 

[e-trance action]

I did tell you my mum and dad were allergic to poultry, didn't I darling?

While waiting for a train.

pop in the washroom with me after we get on-we can have a quick go and I won't have to buy a ticket then.

while blow drying your hair to go out