Things that shouldn't be heard...

[e-trance action]

I have to do what to the driver test guy before he'll pass me?

at the court to pay a ticket.

You mean I'm always supposed to stay on the right side?


at the opera

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I have to do what to the driver test guy before he'll pass me?

at the court to pay a ticket.

I blew my ride the entire way here! how much do I owe??


picking up your kid at the daycare

 

[Azuldrgon]

picking up your kid at the daycare

I'm only responsible for the first $10,000 of damage?

when you meet your date's parents.

 

[e-trance action]

I'm only responsible for the first $10,000 of damage?

when you meet your date's parents.

Doesn't he look just like the boy we gave up for adoption


when you are beginning to wake up from surgery

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I'm only responsible for the first $10,000 of damage?

when you meet your date's parents.

You son can make me scream when he eats my pussy! So Mrs X, does he get that from his father *wink*

when you pick up a prescription.

 

[Azuldrgon]

when you are beginning to wake up from surgery

Quick! Put his wallet back in his pants.

when you wake up at a hotel away from home.

 

[de-valmont]

when you wake up at a hotel away from home.

Welcome to Guantanamo...


When you're in an office meeting.

 

[Azuldrgon]

When you're in an office meeting.

so since you can't give a proper blowjob like my gorgeous assistant here, you're going back to the mail room.

at the bar,

 

[e-trance action]

so since you can't give a proper blowjob like my gorgeous assistant here, you're going back to the mail room.

at the bar,

the drano is about the same colour, he'll never notice it's not all liquor


in the waiting room of your urologist

 

[Azuldrgon]

in the waiting room of your urologist

Sir, are you here for the ED exam?(out loud in front of everyone)

at the hardware store.

 

[e-trance action]

Sir, are you here for the ED exam?(out loud in front of everyone)

at the hardware store.

*on the phone*

How exactly did you cock get near the lathe, sir?


waiting for the airplane washroom

 

[Azuldrgon]

waiting for the airplane washroom

Senator Craig is doing what in there?

waiting for your so outside the changing room at the department store.

 

[laffin_lady]

tht sounds sexually familiar

overheard as you walk into morning report, first am office meeting, tht sort of place...

 

[Azuldrgon]

overheard as you walk into morning report, first am office meeting, tht sort of place...

It's been a pleasure working with you. Your stuff is in that box in the corner and security is escorting you out.

as you enter the parking garage.

 

[laffin_lady]

you hear wht u think of as someone getting hurt when you spy your boss, who ignores you and your best efforts and the new assistant, who is gunning for your job, getting it on at his car and the company has a strict sexual harassment policy, so hooray, better times tomorrow, lol

as you pick up an phone extension...

 

[navuaveg]

Hello? Mr. Johnson? There's not enough left of your wife to ever hassle you again. Now lets talk payments.

After your first threesum...

 

[ImpishSeraph]

After your first threesum...

I knew bringing your dog into this would turn out messy...

Ordering a drink at a bar.

 

[Azuldrgon]

After your first threesum...

You're turn to get it up the ass.(especially if you're a straight guy)

after your first one night stand.

 

[laffin_lady]

the lights come on and what was tht expression bout coyote ugly...

as u accidently walk into the bathroom, of the opposite sex...

 

[Azuldrgon]

I knew bringing your dog into this would turn out messy...

Ordering a drink at a bar.

Hey, I just sent your wife a JD and coke. Hope you don't mind.

as u accidently walk into the bathroom, of the opposite sex...

Can I borrow these hose? (a dude saying it)

while watching te news on tv.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

Hey, I just sent your wife a JD and coke. Hope you don't mind.

Can I borrow these hose? (a dude saying it)

while watching te news on tv.

Is that your mom? I didn't know she was a hooker.

cooking dinner.

 

[laffin_lady]

this carrot was a fill in for u know wht but hey i washed it before i served it...

walking into a hotel room, oops the wrong one...

 

[Azuldrgon]

walking into a hotel room, oops the wrong one...

Are you the stripper we ordered?

walking into your hotel room.

 

[laffin_lady]

Are you the stripper we ordered?

walking into your hotel room.

yr thrown onto the bed, tied and blindfolded....dont say a word or u get gagged too

yr working in the hotel and u have to deliver room service...

 

[Azuldrgon]

yr working in the hotel and u have to deliver room service...

Shut up, take off your pants and bend over.

in a hotel lobby.