Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

Today was my birthday. I just got my driver's license.

James

I am death.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Ah, but I'm special!

 

[loquere]

Anal, is not the best way to address constipation.

 

[loquere]

This is a forensic audit.

 

[loquere]

You're under arrest.

 

[loquere]

White lives matter.

 

[loquere]

I'm gonna need to evict you from the building.

 

[loquere]

I'm gonna still need you to pay for the pizza.

 

[loquere]

You can't do that in church, please leave.

 

[loquere]

What are all those bumps on your penis?

 

[loquere]

I think he's dead.

 

[loquere]

We're on national tv.

 

[loquere]

Luke I am your father.

 

[loquere]

Is that chocolate?

 

[loquere]

You smell like shit.

 

[loquere]

Did you shit on me?

 

[loquere]

Did you pee on me?

 

[loquere]

Put your hands up.

 

[loquere]

Earthquake!

 

[loquere]

Fire!

 

[loquere]

Skunk!

 

[loquere]

I was balls deep in your mom last night.

 

[loquere]

I was balls deep in your father last night.

 

[loquere]

I was balls deep in your grandmother last night.

 

[loquere]

I was balls deep in your grandfather last night.