Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

"I thought this would be better."

 

[loquere]

“I’ll be suing you for false advertising, your flyers said you knew how to deep throat.”

 

[loquere]

"I'm disappointed."

 

[loquere]

"I made a mistake."

 

[loquere]

"You are such a fucking loser."

 

[loquere]

"الله أكبر ، الموت"

 

[loquere]

"Now that that's done, get your clothes and get the fuck out. What do you think, it's just guys that like to get off and get away from the nagging."

 

[loquere]

"Now lets talk about all your mistakes."

 

[loquere]

"Now smile for the hidden camera."

 

[loquere]

"I want a divorce."

 

[loquere]

"I made a mistake marrying you."

 

[loquere]

"Do you really need to eat that pie right now?"

 

[loquere]

"Can you please stop texting?"

 

[loquere]

"Can you tell your dad to get out, this is getting weird."

 

[loquere]

"You know what lets stop, I just realised I'm still in love with my ex."

 

[loquere]

"I’ve never met a man before with three of these. I thought that everyone only had two."

 

[loquere]

"I taught your brother that thing that your mom likes."

 

[loquere]

"I just thought that you had a lot of moles down there, but now I see them crawling."

 

[loquere]

"Don’t mind the yeast taste. It’s normal."

 

[loquere]

"I’ve always wanted to do it in a coffin, but maybe we should have taken the corpse out first."

 

[loquere]

"Let’s ask your mom to join us next time."

 

[loquere]

"Can I put some Tabasco on it first? I like my sausage hot."

 

[loquere]

"Pull that condom out of me while you’re down there. The last guy really jammed it in there good."

 

[loquere]

"I’ve got a cheeseburger somewhere in one of these folds of fat."

 

[loquere]

"Change my tampon while you’re down there."