Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

"Mind if I use your shower? My next trick is in 30 minutes."

 

[loquere]

"How many guys have you slept with… today?"

 

[loquere]

"You’re ugly enough to make a Mormon boy turn gay."

 

[loquere]

"You’re so fat that I feel like I’m making love to a water bed."

 

[loquere]

"I’ve never made love to a sober woman before."

 

[loquere]

"If it falls off tomorrow, call me."

 

[loquere]

"I have to poop! Oops. Too late!"

 

[loquere]

"Are you asleep?"

 

[loquere]

"Are you gay?"

 

[loquere]

'What do you mean your not an escort?"

 

[loquere]

"Get off me. I'll do it myself."

 

[loquere]

"You are almost as good as my ex."

 

[loquere]

"You're fired."

 

[loquere]

"When is this supposed to start feeling good?"

 

[loquere]

"I thought YOU had the keys for the handcuffs."

 

[loquere]

"Hey! My grandad are right. You ARE good."

 

[loquere]

"I'm sobering up and you're getting ape shit UGLY."

 

[loquere]

'No! You're too fat to be on top."

 

[loquere]

"Actually, your sister likes it like this."

 

[loquere]

"What's your name again?"

 

[loquere]

"Umm.. I think the condom broke 5 minutes ago."

 

[loquere]

"I hope you're as good looking when I'm sober..."

 

[loquere]

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"

 

[loquere]

"I learned this trick from my mom.."

 

[loquere]

"Are you peeing on me.... wait..... thats blood."