Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[KUJACK]

The

The Health Department is monitoring me.

 

[PattiJolene]

Are you almost done....

 

[RNJAG]

I lost a bet. The deal was either I fuck you or blow an elephant and I don't have enough money to go to the zoo.

 

[loquere]

"I think I'm going to be sick."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

You don't mind being tied up and introduced to blade play, do you?

 

[loquere]

"You're fired!"

 

[GothAngelBabe]

Child voice: hi daddy

 

[JKendallDane]

I'm Allen Funt and you're on Candid Camera!

 

[loquere]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5CfNarCjSHM

 

[loquere]

The sound of a car/truck/bus crashing through your second floor bedroom wall.

 

[slyc_willie]

. . . the lover you're with quoting anything from loquere.

 

[Hypoxia]

<sounds of the monster crawling out from under the bed>

 

[Saucyminx]

or conversely

*sounds of your lover crawling back under the bed*

 

[coffeelover5]

I think my husband's home

 

[Recidiva]

What? That? That's just ketchup. Grape juice? Huh. No, I don't know what that is.

 

[loquere]

. . . the lover you're with quoting anything from loquere.

Now look I'm blushing.

 

[loquere]

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

 

[Taliane]

After I eat you out, I'm going to eat your brains

 

[pfflyerhot]

Fuck if I care what I hear... I just wanna have sex again.

 

[Hypoxia]

<applause>

 

[Handley_Page]

Ah - Fuck the Restraining Order

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I thought you said you are a man.

 

[Handley_Page]

Bang!

Beautiful

 

[loquere]

"Can I cover your face with a bag? It's just killing my you know.... Dang it grandma I just can't get hard with you looking at me with that dang judgmental look you got."

 

[loquere]

"End of scene."