Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

“At work today Bob had an uncontrollable bout of bloody diarrhea, at his chair, in the middle of the office. I had to drive the poor bastard to County General. Long story short your cars a little messy honey, but I hear old Bob will be fine.”

 

[Handley_Page]

“At work today Bob had an uncontrollable bout of bloody diarrhea, at his chair, in the middle of the office. I had to drive the poor bastard to County General. Long story short your cars a little messy honey, but I hear old Bob will be fine.”

Oh, very good!

 

[loquere]

Oh, very good!

True story.

 

[loquere]

"How am I doing, am I good enough?"

 

[loquere]

"That's not my name."

 

[loquere]

"We need to talk."

 

[loquere]

"If you want to keep going, you need to swipe your American Express again."

 

[loquere]

"Condom... No I don't believe in protection, STD hah, that's simply an illuminati myth!"

 

[loquere]

"I hear you, but I can't go any deeper."

 

[loquere]

"I can't find it."

 

[loquere]

"Have you ever seen the movie species?"

 

[Handley_Page]

"Is it in ?"

 

[loquere]

"Cum & I'll slit your throat!"

 

[Fierywhore]

Please insert more coins to continue this call

 

[walkingeagle]

I'm your sister

 

[loquere]

I'm your sister

Some on here might like that.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

"Is it in ?"

Oh it is??

 

[loquere]

"Bleed for me.... yesssss give me everything!"

 

[Saucyminx]

Is that a tentacle?!?

 

[Hypoxia]

(sound of a round being chambered)

 

[Saucyminx]

Oh waiter! Check please.

 

[coffeelover5]

My period's late

 

[MaryanneB]

My last period was 5 months ago....

 

[JKendallDane]

uttered by a female: Oh? This really wasn't your first time? <shrug> Sure seemed like it to me.

 

[Handley_Page]

"You've not done this too often, have you?"