Oh no, you are absolutely right. Making the person do stuff like that just because you can IS being mean and malicious. It's different if it's something that is fun for both people. Even though it hurt, I was laughing as I washed my eye out.Good for you though for both of you figuring out what you like and both getting it. That is special for sure.
I want sex to be enjoyable too, but being told to lick a public toilet just because he watched a video where that happened isn't really why I want to do something like that. Not sure if that makes sense, but its more about being something they truly want to see.