UK Sexless Marriges ( Advice and Support Group)

[Sparky74]

Sparky, hang in there. Being in a 43 year marriage with the last 9 years sexless I understand the frustration. My advice is to try to keep as much physical contact as possible.

Sparky, hang in there. Being in a 43 year marriage with the last 9 years sexless I understand the frustration. My advice is to try to keep as much physical contact as possible. ie, Cuddling, mutual masturbation, massage, oral, nude movie night, making out, anything to keep contact. Also, you have to try to keep the romance going. I know easier said than done.
Our issues started with prostate cancer and having it removed and the wife going through menopause (perfect storm) so falls on both of us. We both lost interest in the beginning and time just goes by, but now I have desire (still performance issues) but she has no physical contact desire.
So, last couple of years I have been living in my fantasy world where I have the greatest sex of my life. Know that your not alone out there.

Thank you so much for sharing your open and honest experience, really appreciate it.

 

[WandererLost]

Hi I am Alan and my wife and I have been married for 14 years this year, but we have been together for over 22 years now. Reading the thread I guess I have not got it as bad as many which makes me a little more humble to the situation. Our sexlife has slowly been deteriorating for the last eight years or so. Illness and mental health on the wifes part has been the main cause (not placing blame here) so our intimate moments have gone from 3 to 4 times a week to 3 to 4 times a month to one every 3 or 4 months, we currently standing at a 7 month drought which is a record beater.

When she is on she is ON, lost time is made up very quickly as we are both aware that it may burn out quickly, then we are into the drought again. Sex is NOT our relationship, it is part of it and we have our kids and everything around us that binds us as a unit, I could never think about leaving her because shes not putting out enough for me.

But, I have strayed, two one night stands and almost an actual affair, that one we both saw sense and backed away. Is it tempting to have one night stands? it really, really is! So instead, to temper that urge/need I end up on a site like this looking for a connection that won't involve me getting into a physical bed with another woman, a fair trade off or so I tell myself, perhaps I am being a hypocrite, or selfish.

 

[Sparky74]

Thank you so much for sharing your open and honest Story.

 

[Sparky74]

Remember Gents And Ladies your Not Alone

 

[Lady2020]

I'm 69. I had a heart attack over 3 months ago. It was frightening af. I went to the ER 3 times bc of horrendous chest pain. I kept being told it was GERD even though I had zero gastric symptoms. I finally feel normal. I take aspirin, plavix, lipitor, and a bp med, although my BP was never much of an issue. I had an orgasm a few weeks back, mainly to prove to myself I could. My only advice is to make healthy lifestyle choices. I also believe that libido can be improved with attitude.

 

[Sparky74]

I'm 69. I had a heart attack over 3 months ago. It was frightening af. I went to the ER 3 times bc of horrendous chest pain. I kept being told it was GERD even though I had zero gastric symptoms. I finally feel normal. I take aspirin, plavix, lipitor, and a bp med, although my BP was never much of an issue. I had an orgasm a few weeks back, mainly to prove to myself I could. My only advice is to make healthy lifestyle choices. I also believe that libido can be improved with attitude.

Thank you for you lovely message your so right, over the last 4 weeks we have started to introduce more protein into our diet try and cut down or carbs and cut out process food as much as we can.

 

[Sparky74]

I hope that you are recovering well, I can’t imagine how scary that was

Hey Nick Thanks so much for your words of support on this Thread it definitely is a Scary Time, those 2 hours wating in the Relatives Room seamed like a lifetime.

 

[Sparky74]

Just wanted to say a Huge Thank you to Everyone who has messed on the Thread or in Private it really is appreciated more than you will all ever know.

Let's Keep this Wonderful Support Going.

Thanks All

Sparky

 

[Sunlover101]

This is a really cool thread. We are still in love, lots of cuddles hugs and kisses but no intercourse.
Due to a past infection that took absolutely years to diagnose it was finally sorted and treated. But now it causes to much pain for her to try intercourse. We have and it is just not worth the anxiety that follows.
I miss all the feelings that comes with sex.
So hard tbh. Do I look for a FWB. I have tried but in a small town not so easy.
Would I actually go through with a FWB scenario.....I don't know because it hasn't become a possibility.
I enjoy flirtatious conversations both on line and in the real world.
I sometimes think that perhaps I'm seeing more in what someone says than what they mean due to just wanting someone else to take my cock in hand.
I dunno. Im happy in all aspects of my life.
Just in need of sexual release.
Not of my own making lol
Anyway it's actually nice to hear I'm not alone in what's happening for me in my predicament.
Always open for a chat with anyone.
Cheers. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

[Sparky74]

This is a really cool thread. We are still in love, lots of cuddles hugs and kisses but no intercourse.
Due to a past infection that took absolutely years to diagnose it was finally sorted and treated. But now it causes to much pain for her to try intercourse. We have and it is just not worth the anxiety that follows.
I miss all the feelings that comes with sex.
So hard tbh. Do I look for a FWB. I have tried but in a small town not so easy.
Would I actually go through with a FWB scenario.....I don't know because it hasn't become a possibility.
I enjoy flirtatious conversations both on line and in the real world.
I sometimes think that perhaps I'm seeing more in what someone says than what they mean due to just wanting someone else to take my cock in hand.
I dunno. Im happy in all aspects of my life.
Just in need of sexual release.
Not of my own making lol
Anyway it's actually nice to hear I'm not alone in what's happening for me in my predicament.
Always open for a chat with anyone.
Cheers. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Thanks so much for your really open and heartfelt reply, am always open to receiving messages.

Thanks again

Sparky

 

[Sparky74]

Just a quick reminder feel free to post in thread any advice, support ect or if you feel more comfortable drop me a PM

Inbox always open and will pick up when I'm off line.

Thanks All Sparky

 

[Sparky74]

Hello

 

[HampshireBoy]

Hello

This did go a bit quiet, maybe everyone else has solved their drought?

 

[Sparky74]

Maybe but I know I certainly haven't.

 

[BrokenQuill]

Still crawling across an empty, desolate landscape with nothing on the horizon....

 

[HampshireBoy]

Maybe but I know I certainly haven't.

Same with me

 

[KeenVoyeur]

This did go a bit quiet, maybe everyone else has solved their drought?

Maybe but I know I certainly haven't.

Still crawling across an empty, desolate landscape with nothing on the horizon....

Same with me

Still got a hosepipe ban in my bedroom (and everywhere else come to that!)

No sign of improvement in the immediate future so I'm still looking for extra-marital opportunities - which are also pretty much not going to happen.

Even wanking is starting to lose its appeal

 

[curl4ever]

I am not in the uk, but I am a lady who has been in this position. The resolution is a work in progress.
The worst part for me, about having more desire/need/libido/kinks than my husband, is that HE CANT RELATE!
In his mind, these are my “shenanigans”, a silly thing I want to do.. a hobby I should have let go of when I got married to him..

But what lengths would HE go to, to fulfill his own needs????
Well, I already know the answer to that: He’d subject his wife to a sexless marriage, forbid extramarital relations, and get off by himself multiple times a day to incest stories on literotica. He’s happy as a clam!

So sorry for you!

This is one of the saddest stories I’ve heard. Your husband’s attitude is so unfair and abusive.

 

[Spongo]

Would be interesting to arrange discreet hook ups for men and woman in sexless marriages.

 

[Representingmyhotwife]

In our case, if not with me, I don't want her to suppress her desires but to be free to mate with any man she chooses.

 

[HampshireBoy]

Well, after a very long drought we've been away on a month long holiday and the drought is broken. When we were active, six times in a month would have been considered quiet now it is positively party time, more in a month than the whole of last year!

We've spoken about it and she has told me that she still doesn't feel like sex but made an effort because she knows I want to, then she has enjoyed it every time so she will make the effort more. Apparently warm weather, so her wearing less clothes and seeing me naked more has helped as well. So fingers crossed - plus I have to not pressurise her as apparently that makes things worse.

 

[Sparky74]

Well, after a very long drought we've been away on a month long holiday and the drought is broken. When we were active, six times in a month would have been considered quiet now it is positively party time, more in a month than the whole of last year!

We've spoken about it and she has told me that she still doesn't feel like sex but made an effort because she knows I want to, then she has enjoyed it every time so she will make the effort more. Apparently warm weather, so her wearing less clothes and seeing me naked more has helped as well. So fingers crossed - plus I have to not pressurise her as apparently that makes things worse.

Am so pleased for you and Great Advice


Best Wishes.

 

[luckydino]

For those folks that don't know, there is another sexless marriages thread at this location
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/sexless-marriages.1503158/
which may benefit with some more advice & help. But please don't ignore this thread for us UK guys!

 

[Sparky74]

For those folks that don't know, there is another sexless marriages thread at this location
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/sexless-marriages.1503158/
which may benefit with some more advice & help. But please don't ignore this thread for us UK guys!

Thanks for adding this link Dino and thanks for commenting on my thread it really is much appreciated


Best wishes Sparky

 

[Sparky74]

Hi there, well I’m new here but this all feels to similar for me. I’ve been married for nearly 9 years and it’s been sexless for about 2 years now.

My W does suffer from a number of health conditions that can really affect her, and I’m under no illusion that it’s a big contributing factor, but it can still be hard and difficult. I have an active libido, I’ve always had and it can be a real struggle being rejected a lot by my W. Again I know why, I guess I get down as it’s something I can’t fix for her.

Please don’t think I’m a horrible person, obviously there is so much more to a relationship than just sex, but it’s hard as she shys always from any sort of physical contact with me, even hugs and holding hands I can tell she finds difficult.

We have two amazing kids and they’re our world, and I do everything for them and in the house I do all the cooking and cleaning and on top I work full time, whilst my W just rests, so there’s a big burden on me to always be ‘on it’, I’m the one that keeps everything together. It can just feel so lonely sometimes, and I just miss that physical reassurance, that hug or kiss that says I appreciate you.

Sorry for the rant haha, it all just came out there. I joke to myself sometimes I was a glorified sperm donor for our kids lol.

Really appreciate you sharing your Story PM if you want to chat more.