using an online dating service

[GldnAngl]

I met my husband on Adult Friend Finder, though meeting a husband was definitely not my intention.

He tells me that most of the "women" on that sight in particular are actually bots, and that it is a rare thing to find an actual woman there.

I think that it is very important to have a very clear idea of what you are looking for, and, at least as important is having a very clear idea of what you are *not* looking for. Prioritize your criteria; if a potential partner's ability to cook is crucial, make sure that is apparant. If it is just a "nice to have" quality, make sure that is apparant, too. In other words, know what you can live with and what you can live without. Take time setting up your profile if it is offered on the site you choose. Include pictures, especially if you are requestion pictures.

Oh, another thing, know who *you* are. Be able to describe yourself honestly and well. I think that is important in all relationships, and, IMO, is the reason many fail because people do not have a clear idea of who they are, thus are not able to make good matches.

Now, for the ad...know that men outnumber women on most dating sites by about 10 to 1, so you need to do something to stand out. The easiest way to do this is to write well. And I don't mean you have to be Hemingway or anything like that. If I were a mean person, I would post some of the ads that have been sent to me over the years that would make an English teacher shrink in horror. Write your ad in a word processing program and run spell check on it. Then, print it out and read it out loud. If you are a poor speller, have a trusted friend read it (hopefully, this friend is a better speller).

In your ad, be clear about who you are and who you are looking for. Write your ad with the response you are hoping to get in mine. When my now-husband responded to my ad, his was *exactly* the response I had been hoping for.

I don't think the internet is anything magical. I think it provides a forum where it is easier to meet people, but if you can't manage relationships in real life, there is nothing going on online that is going to overcome whatever issues plague you.

Anyway, sorry for the length of my post. I hope someone finds something useful in it.

 

[Eilan]

Posted on Yahoo personals and was contacted by a woman after about 2-3 months of nothing... we hit it off and the relationship lasted well over a year.

I met my husband on Yahoo! back when it was still completely free. I contacted him.

I'm not sure how many women he'd been in contact with; I know there were a few.

 

[Kinky-Princess]

.......

 

[FurryFury]

A friend of mine met his lady through e-harmony. I encouraged him to look for someone in RL after we began an online relationship. At first it seemed that he wasn't completely open to certain superficial things in a woman. I tried to help him see past that. Now he is very happy! His relationship isn't a fantasy in which he only gets to touch himself any longer. He has a lady who is a fantastic, loving and open person.

So I say it works BUT you have to be really open to people. To many have this one narrow idea of what they want looks wise but what really counts is what the person is like INSIDE and how they treat themselves and YOU. On the other hand, nothing works if you don't let it.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

I met my husband on Adult Friend Finder, though meeting a husband was definitely not my intention.

He tells me that most of the "women" on that sight in particular are actually bots, and that it is a rare thing to find an actual woman there.

I think that it is very important to have a very clear idea of what you are looking for, and, at least as important is having a very clear idea of what you are *not* looking for. Prioritize your criteria; if a potential partner's ability to cook is crucial, make sure that is apparant. If it is just a "nice to have" quality, make sure that is apparant, too. In other words, know what you can live with and what you can live without. Take time setting up your profile if it is offered on the site you choose. Include pictures, especially if you are requestion pictures.

Oh, another thing, know who *you* are. Be able to describe yourself honestly and well. I think that is important in all relationships, and, IMO, is the reason many fail because people do not have a clear idea of who they are, thus are not able to make good matches.

Now, for the ad...know that men outnumber women on most dating sites by about 10 to 1, so you need to do something to stand out. The easiest way to do this is to write well. And I don't mean you have to be Hemingway or anything like that. If I were a mean person, I would post some of the ads that have been sent to me over the years that would make an English teacher shrink in horror. Write your ad in a word processing program and run spell check on it. Then, print it out and read it out loud. If you are a poor speller, have a trusted friend read it (hopefully, this friend is a better speller).

In your ad, be clear about who you are and who you are looking for. Write your ad with the response you are hoping to get in mine. When my now-husband responded to my ad, his was *exactly* the response I had been hoping for.

I don't think the internet is anything magical. I think it provides a forum where it is easier to meet people, but if you can't manage relationships in real life, there is nothing going on online that is going to overcome whatever issues plague you.

Anyway, sorry for the length of my post. I hope someone finds something useful in it.

These are very good points. I would add, pick your priorities and battles carefully. You don't want to seem rigid though. I mean, what is really important to you? Only you can say but it can't be everything on your list because you won't find that. You aren't likely to find one person to meet all of your dreams or wants but there are wonderful people out there if you let them into your life.

It does help to know yourself pretty well and be honest about it. However if you are overweight or something don't mention that over and over, once is enough. I've seen guys do that. It's not good to keep presenting possible turn offs over and over. If you've ever been on a date with someone who keeps putting his or her self down over and over, it's not a turn on.

I've also seen a guy put some stuff in his profile about how his ex wife said he needs this or that. It's just NOT a good idea to sound like you are still listening to or asking for advice from your ex, believe me! People want a relationship with YOU alone, not you and your ex, Mom or whatever. Happily he listened to me on both of those points and how he is happy with a woman too!

I love happy endings!

Fury

 

[Eilan]

I dont know about the other guy, but i know i didnt start out so negative. It was years and years of women treating me like shit that made me so negative. It was years and years of women regarding me as if i had no feelings that made me so jaded. So dont assume Ive had such terrible luck because im negative, Im so negative because ive had such terrible luck.

I wonder, given some of your recent GB activity:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=427157

And your "put on a dress and get back in the kitchen sweet tits" comment in this thread. Yeah. Gets the women hawt every time.

 

[rip_1_4_u]

online dating-it depends

do they work? ones like e harmony. i have never met or heard anyone meeting that way.

Well I've met both of my boyfriends on yahoo-one was in the personals and I internet messaged him...I had a profile on yahoo personals but didn't have it public...the recent boyfriend internet messaged me on yahoo right after I met the first boyfriend and accepted gracefully that I had just hooked up with someone...after I broke up with the first boyfriend (he was always working, ugh) I remembered how sweet the second guy was and starting chatting with him online and now we're dating...he said he couldn't get hardly anyone to respond to him in yahoo personals and had given up on it...I talked with him a long time before meeting him, which is why he thinks I'm with him...he thinks he's not that great looking, so I hope he'll change his mind about that since I just had sex with him lol

I did just cancel my sub to yahoo personals....the men who contacted me were nice but were not a great match for me, and I don't think I was for them as a matter of fact...I always responded to folks who wrote to me...if they wrote a lot, I wrote a lot...if they said "hi" I said "hi"...profiles with bad spelling were annoying and profiles with no pictures or that just said "ask me" were big turnoffs!

I like plentyoffish.com since I've emailed with lots of guys who are very nice...I've rarely had guys contact me and say "let's fuck"...I am leaving my info out there since I was just looking for friends anyway...I didn't expect to find the love of my life...really wanted chat buddies, maybe activity buddies or friends...if I found someone I clicked with, cool...

I have a couple of friends (male and female) who are in their 50's and they found each other on match.com and have been together about a year now...he had dated quite a few women via match.com and he was the first guy she dated from the site...

good luck!

 

[Treeview]

I've had profiles on a few free date sites. There have been a few clinkers that we worked out in emails. There have also been some nice dates too. Nothing long term but that is what I expected going in because I was job hunting and any job was going to be in another city. That didn't make any difference to several women. We had some nice time together and things ran out just fine. I was always upfront right from the begining and let the women know that I was probably going to be leaving town. That didn't make a difference with the ones that I met.

When I was on the AFF chat I caught the eye of a women who wanted to get another M for a MMF. We got together for coffee a couple of times and her hubby was interested in getting together with me and then things went cold for some reason. I can't figure out why...

Since I found a job in Atlanta I changed my profiles and have been getting a LOT of responses and emails. From what I can tell all of them are real. I got the feeling that I met a 'bot' from AFF while I was in Denver. Long story...

At first I was going to go ahead and hand out the names of the places where I have a profile. That was driven by the greedy, selfish, short-sighted knuckehead that shares part of my brain gt control. I beat him back down into submission so here's some suggestions.

http://adultfriendfinder.com/
http://www.matchdoctor.com/myHome.aspx
http://www.plentyoffish.com/
http://*******.com/elk3c Senior Friend Finder
http://*******.com/zozdt

As long as I writing, I may as well advertise By this time next week I'll be in Atlanta. I'd like to meet a women who enjoys being outdoors doing active things like canoeing, hiking or camping. When that isn't possible, getting to know where the good blues clubs are in the area would be a fun time. My screen name is 'perhaps199'

Tom

 

[dizzy]

I met my ex-fiance' on yahoo personals. We dated for 14mo before events dictated our splitting up. So yes, it can work. Just be real. She said she wrote me back because I said "I know i'm not photogenic but...." and was real about myself and not trying to trump myself up.

Matt

 

[reader101]

i have doubts because sometimes you might actually find that perosn then distance all of a sudden raises a question mark...can you maintain is it worth the commute etc...those would me my beefs with it though...even though there is the option of getting partners in your vecinity...in a way you want differnet and not close to home becasue you're so used to it...


question is Adult Friend finder that bad...i was poromoting it on my site....never really tried it...i guess the look got me then

 

[sub_girl]

I have a dating site and I have had alot of success stories,the gender split is roughly equal, usually theres slighty more women on there so theres about 2 or three women to every man. It depends what you are looking for though - weather its a one night stand, a long term relationship or just on going fun. Good luck in your quest.

 

[human_male]

I have a dating site and I have had alot of success stories,the gender split is roughly equal, usually theres slighty more women on there so theres about 2 or three women to every man. It depends what you are looking for though - weather its a one night stand, a long term relationship or just on going fun. Good luck in your quest.

What site is that? Is it on this planet, because it's hard to imagine. Can you PM it me if you don't want to post it, please. Pretty please.

Ok I'm begging man. I'm beggin ya.