Vaginal sex questions

[uuversalist]

So, I don't have a boyfriend anymore, but we tried to have sex through penetration. It did not work because I felt like he wouldn't fit into me, and I was afraid he'd tear my vagina apart, and I'm a very small person. He is not that much bigger than me, though...so the size ratio shouldn't be a big deal.

For the most part, we got off from oral sex, and it still felt really good. Occasionally, he'd stick his fingers in me, but that hurt too and my vagina would feel raw, so I didn't think I'd get off on it.

I'd really like to experience vaginal sex sometimes...I mean, is it normal for me to feel like my vagina will literally tear apart when he's just halfway in me? I'm already 20 years old...will I ever orgasm through vaginal sex? And I am afraid that future partners will not like me because I feel like my vagina is too tight, and I'm a wimp when it comes to pain.

Please don't PM me about this. I am NOT looking for any sex partners, thanks.

PS: Yes, we used lots of lube, etc.

 

[Reba67]

If you're feeling raw, then you need more lube. How much foreplay are you doing before any attempt at penetration?

Sometimes it's a mental thing of "oh my god, it's going to be tight and hurt and then I'll be sore and raw for a couple of days" and you tense up and then lo and behold, it's tight and hurts.

Have you seen your OBGYN to see if there is anything physically wrong down there?

 

[uuversalist]

We used a lot of lube, and we did a lot of foreplay...enough to get me soaking wet and making me want to feel him inside of me...but once he put himself about a 1/4 in, that's when it starts to feel tight and like my vagina will tear to shreds. Maybe I am just over exaggerating the pain?

 

[ImOnIt]

Oh shi-

Is this a reverse counter-troll from the guy who made a million alts about how his dick was A. elephantine or B. a hundred billion miles long?

 

[sunandshadow]

I'll echo the above poster's question, have you asked a gynacologist about this? If not, do so.

Also, did you clearly feel your hymen break at some point? 1/4 of the way in is about where the hymen is, I personally have a bit of tightness right there due to scar tissue from my hymen, you might have an incompletely broken hymen or might at the time you tried to have sex had a torn spot, either of those would make sex painful. A gynocologist can check for hymen remnants and remove them.

 

[Firebrain]

Have you had sex with a previous partner? If not, I would try to give it a go, very slowly. The part where your hymen breaks can be sharp, but only for a second. The rest of you is made to stretch pretty far, remember You aren't 'too small.'

I would think about seeing a doctor otherwise. There are a couple of conditions which can make you feel this way - vulvadynia, vaginismus - and they should be treated so you can feel more comfortable.

 

[uuversalist]

Yes, my hymen broke when I was about 5 years old. I wouldn't be able to stick my fingers in there if my hymen didn't break.

I don't go to an OBGYN, but I probably should.

I think next time I should just stick with the pain. Is there anyway to do this without a boyfriend? I know there are dildos, but I don't want to spend money on one.

 

[CWatson]

...A carrot might be cheaper?... (I mean, I've got the wrong chromosomes to have first-hand experience with this, but...)

 

[miles1111]

pull you legs apart and let it happen girl it is little bit painful first.

 

[Firebrain]

Yes, my hymen broke when I was about 5 years old. I wouldn't be able to stick my fingers in there if my hymen didn't break.

I don't go to an OBGYN, but I probably should.

I think next time I should just stick with the pain. Is there anyway to do this without a boyfriend? I know there are dildos, but I don't want to spend money on one.

Not true. You can stick many things up there and still have a hymen!

 

[uuversalist]

Seriously? God..maybe I didn't break it then...but I am pretty sure it is broken.

You know, I have stuck my finger up there a few times and I felt something like almost felt like an outside belly button....but....I assumed that was my cervix...I thought, "Wow, I have pretty short vagina."

You know, maybe it is my hymen. OK, this makes me feel a lot better.

 

[Shadowann2]

Seriously? God..maybe I didn't break it then...but I am pretty sure it is broken.

You know, I have stuck my finger up there a few times and I felt something like almost felt like an outside belly button....but....I assumed that was my cervix...I thought, "Wow, I have pretty short vagina."

You know, maybe it is my hymen. OK, this makes me feel a lot better.

I'm almost positive the "inside out belly button" you felt was your cervix. I've felt a few in my time, and they've all felt like that. Your hymen shouldn't feel like that. I'll echo the other posters and say you need to see a doctor to rule out anything medical. If nothing is medically wrong, just try taking your time, going slow, and trying to relax. If you tense up and fear that it will hurt, it will.

As for not wanting to spend money on a dildo...you can try things around the house, like a hairbrush handle, or a carrot, or something else of that shape and size. Three things though when you use house hold items: 1) always use a condom to prevent infections!!! (no matter how hard you try to clean it, you can never be sure) 2) Make sure it is long enough that you won't "loose" it inside yourself. 3) Make sure there are NO SHARP EDGES. Even the smallest thing can cut you and lead to an infection. I would really recommend that spend the money on a dildo, since it is made for what you want, but if you won't, please try to be safe!

 

[Ravenwind]

IIRC, the average woman is about 5"-6" deep to the cervix (I might be wrong, it's been a while since I looked it up)... In addition to that, the hymen generally isn't completely sealed shut- in most women, it's like a sphincter (minus the muscle), a ring of skin with a small opening that lets menstrual fluid pass through. Something small like a finger, a tampon, or the small end of a carrot (*coughs at earlier example*) could easily pass through without so much as tearing it, let alone completely breaking it. It takes something with a bit more girth to break it (or something akin to a very traumatizing fall involving roller skates going opposite ways!).

Unless you have had penetrative sex before, you may still be virgin. Go see your OBGYN and have it checked out. The other suggestions and 'what ifs' others offer are also good things to consider when seeing your doctor.

 

[Firebrain]

It'd be rather unusual to be able to feel your own cervix (if you can, I'd see a doctor!).

There are all sorts of lumps and bumps inside that feel like many things.

 

[uuversalist]

The concept of virginity is mostly stupid and sexist. In my honest opinion, virginity is basically subjective...I don't consider myself a virgin because by default I'm a naturally sexual being. Just because a guy sticks his dick in me does not "devirginize" me, etc. Weird, I know...but that's just how I feel.

Anyways, this is depressing....either I have an extremely small vagina and cervix, a rare abnormality, or I just haven't broken my hymen yet. I hope it's the latter. Ugh.

If I have an extremely small vagina where it's uncomfortable for me, and I won't ever be able to have vaginal sex...or my vagina is so short that the dick doesn't go in to the point he doesn't feel any pleasure, then fuck my life.

 

[Firebrain]

The concept of virginity is mostly stupid and sexist. In my honest opinion, virginity is basically subjective...I don't consider myself a virgin because by default I'm a naturally sexual being. Just because a guy sticks his dick in me does not "devirginize" me, etc. Weird, I know...but that's just how I feel.

Anyways, this is depressing....either I have an extremely small vagina and cervix, a rare abnormality, or I just haven't broken my hymen yet. I hope it's the latter. Ugh.

If I have an extremely small vagina where it's uncomfortable for me, and I won't ever be able to have vaginal sex...or my vagina is so short that the dick doesn't go in to the point he doesn't feel any pleasure, then fuck my life.

You aren't too small. But you're getting awfully worked up over it and that isn't helping

Do you get the same sensations when you're just having fun alone, or is it only painful with a partner?

 

[Tasty_GA_Honey]

Darling, I definitely have to agree with several of the other posts above me.

My best friend experienced a VERY similar problem when she got married. The first gynecologist she saw told her she just needed more lubrication. So, they got a second opinion. As it turns out, the second (more knowledgeable physician) told her that her hymen had been perforated BUT had not been completely broken after several attempts to have vaginal intercourse with her well-endowed husband. After a simple surgical procedure to remover her hymen, she hasn't had any more problems.

See a doctor dear... And alleviate your anxiety!

Best wishes!!

 

[Shadowann2]

It'd be rather unusual to be able to feel your own cervix (if you can, I'd see a doctor!).

There are all sorts of lumps and bumps inside that feel like many things.

I can feel my own, and have felt other women's. I see a GYN on a regular basis and have no problems. My fiance says it's just because I have such long fingers!

 

[Shadowann2]

The concept of virginity is mostly stupid and sexist. In my honest opinion, virginity is basically subjective...I don't consider myself a virgin because by default I'm a naturally sexual being. Just because a guy sticks his dick in me does not "devirginize" me, etc. Weird, I know...but that's just how I feel.

Anyways, this is depressing....either I have an extremely small vagina and cervix, a rare abnormality, or I just haven't broken my hymen yet. I hope it's the latter. Ugh.

If I have an extremely small vagina where it's uncomfortable for me, and I won't ever be able to have vaginal sex...or my vagina is so short that the dick doesn't go in to the point he doesn't feel any pleasure, then fuck my life.

I think you are blowing this a bit out of proportion! I have never met a woman who didn't say that sex hurt the first few times. It's kind of a given. Once you get past the initial adjustment of the muscles to being stretched, it gets much better! Remember, your vagina was designed to stretch wide enough to allow a baby's head to come out...a penis (even a large one!) is much smaller! Just give your body a chance to adjust before you rule out PIV sex for the rest of your life. Go see a GYN...if it is a matter of needing to stretch, they have graduated medical devices designed just for that purpose!

Look on the bright side, if you do have a small vagina, you can made some man with a small penis very happy! Then he won't have to go through life feeling bad about having a small penis...'cuz he's just the right size for you!

 

[infinity706]

It'd be rather unusual to be able to feel your own cervix (if you can, I'd see a doctor!).

There are all sorts of lumps and bumps inside that feel like many things.

I wouldn't say it's that weird to be able to feel your cervix. Pussies stretch out a lot for sex, but they collapse in on themselves when there's nothing inside. Of course, it also depends on how flexible you are. It would be strange if you could feel it just sticking a single finger inside, but if you could fist yourself, you should be able to. I'm a guy and I can fist myself somewhat. I'd assume a lot of women could do even better with the general flexibility increase and likely smaller hands.

 

[uuversalist]

OK, thanks for the help, everyone. I guess the general consensus is to see a GYN so I can get things cleared up. More than likely I just need to be stretched a little, then everything should be fine. This makes me feel a lot better now...thanks everyone.

 

[uuversalist]

Actually, I think my hymen may still be intact. I can put my entire finger in my vagina, but when I push my finger up towards me, there is a wall there that I could probably push further. I always pictured the hymen to completely cover the vaginal opening....

 

[Firebrain]

I wouldn't say it's that weird to be able to feel your cervix. Pussies stretch out a lot for sex, but they collapse in on themselves when there's nothing inside. Of course, it also depends on how flexible you are. It would be strange if you could feel it just sticking a single finger inside, but if you could fist yourself, you should be able to. I'm a guy and I can fist myself somewhat. I'd assume a lot of women could do even better with the general flexibility increase and likely smaller hands.

Yeah, I don't think she's fisting herself just now

 

[Traveler78]

Buy some dilators or make your own so you can get use to the size gradually:

http://www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org/dilators3.html

 

[fire_breeze]

I'd like to reiterate what most have already said. Go see a gynaecologist to rule out any physical possibilities. S/he will be able to tell if you have a thick hymen that wasn't completely perforated or not (or if it's unusually high - most hymens are about a quarter inch in). You should see one anyway, it's recommended that young women have an annual exam starting at 18 or when she becomes first sexually active, whichever comes first.

Just a question: do you masturbate regularly, alone, figuring out what works for you? When you were with him, were you completely relaxed? Stress and anxiety can tense a person up, making it very painful during sex.

I know you said you don't want to spend money on a dildo or vibe, but I do urge you to reconsider. They do not need to be expensive, they're fun, and if you take care of it, can last a good time. You get to experiment, you then figure out what works for you, and you insert the toy when you want and are completely ready. Some swear by a Hitachi, some by a rabbit (me ), but figure out what works for you. The point is, you work it out in your time.

As for having an orgasm through penetrative sex, well, the majority of women don't orgasm through penetration alone. Many need clit or g-spot stimulation (or both) incorporated into sex in order to orgasm.

Take your time and have fun.