"We're not a chat room...."

[WillowPuss]

ohhh gosh!
considering my surname
that is just so apt!
thanks Eb!

Only 20 to go now

wonder if I will do it tonight?

 

[DRxBlue]

Of COURSE i forgot Benny Hill!

What about Benny Hill? Tell me you just forgot about Benny Hill, won't ya Doc?

He was DEFINITELY one of my most beloved characters, but i confess i didn't envy his accent quite as much as... say, Rex Harrison, or the smashing Wilfred Hyde-White.

The "Queen's English" you say? How Victorian! i suppose they must hand over everything at the coronation.

Thank you though! That'll save me from making an ass of myself in front of people!

...Ooops *blush*

Blue (pink around the edges)

 

[monster666]

Re: Ruby DOES seem to be fitting in well here...

I'd say if she hangs here, she's in a bowl of fruits, nuts and flakes, alright. Present company included, of course.

It's almost as if our luscious Rubyfruit belongs in this bowl of fruits, nuts and flakes.

 

[Rubyfruit]

What I saw on this thread was a legitimate complaint voiced by a genuine forum member. I also saw a moderator blow him off and then add that this is not a genuine concern, rather it's a dead horse. Why is it a dead horse? Was it ever addressed? Was an agreement or compromise or anything ever reached? Or was it more of a this-is-the-way-it-is-if-you-don't-like-it-leave sort of thing?

There are a few things I don't like about this forum and this attitude is one of them. New people should change a forum with their presence, they should add to it with their questions, answers, and personalities. Some of these people do not feel welcome. I know this because they've clearly stated it. A forum that remains static is stagnant. The resistance to change here is palpable.

Here is a clearly delineated problem. The "ain't broke" one. Of course, to you it's probably not a problem, it's probably the way it should be.

"This forum is negative and unwelcoming to people who don't conform with the values of pure skin-to-skin BDSM."

You and conformists say it isn't, others that aren't conformists say that it is.

One of the problems is how you define a "problems." It's obvious there's a problem if Lance is getting this kind of support. Of course, you don't think it's a problem, it's just a chance for people to grab the spotlight. If I read your post correctly.

You need a way for people to air their grievances and have them seriously addressed because this isn't a minor problem, this is a divisive problem that's going to perpetuate the cycle of flaming until it is taken care of.

That's the last I'm going to say on this subject. This is my opinion and it's an unwelcome one. You don't want to hear any criticism of you, your forum, or your values. I have no wish to cause a rift in this forum because I don't have enough investment in this forum for it to matter. See, I'm one of the non-conformists.

Yeah, I know. "If you don't like it here, KM, why don't you leave?"

The answer is easy, cause this isn't a dictatorship and I can affect change just like the next joe.

Is anyone listening?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Originally posted by Rubyfruit
We can't flirt here?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sure you can flirt here, Ruby, as you well know since you've done it nonstop since you got here. That Playground place, thogh i haven't ever been there, now that sounds like a fresh cock meat kinda place specifically tailored to your tastes, doesn't it?

By Cymbidia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"...a fresh cock meat kinda place specifically tailored" to my tastes?


Yes, all who know me know that I'm all about the cock meat.

 

[cymbidia]

Ruby? If you've got something to say, why don't you say it right out instead of dragging up a post that's a week old and pointing to it mutely.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I've said it here, and I've said it privately.

You stifle this board, b.

I'm a whore/slut/fluff because I don't conform to your idea of how I should be?

That much is clear.

It's not your board. It's not mine.

It changes daily (hourly) by the influx of people who bring their own experiences and desires into play.

Experiences and desires that may be different than yours.

 

[morninggirl5]

I've said it here, and I've said it privately.

You stifle this board, b.

I'm a whore/slut/fluff because I don't conform to your idea of how I should be?

That much is clear.

It's not your board. It's not mine.

It changes daily (hourly) by the influx of people who bring their own experiences and desires into play.

Experiences and desires that may be different than yours.

I disagree. Ruby, where has your opinion been stifled?

This forum came to be because there was a group of people who wanted a place that was safe. Where they could discuss BDSM without the flames and wars that always happened on the GB. Where there could be real discussion without subbie couches, without all the capitalization rules, without the subs requesting permission to speak and without the cutesy, fake fawning that permeates most online BDSM places.

Since the beginning, we have tried to maintain that atmosphere here. Sometimes it's harder than others and as the forum continues to grow, it becomes even more difficult. It also becomes even more important. For every post i've made here, i've read probably 1000 and learned more than in any other place. If this forum changes, if it degenerates into a forum like every other BDSM online place, then something of immense value will be lost.

This board doesn't change daily/hourly. Because those of us who are here understand the value of what we have.

 

[cymbidia]

Ruby, you have been in my house. I know a lot about you off the boards.


In any case, you've been around Lit long enough and are intelligent enough to know that one person cannot possibly stifle an entire board. You know, too, that there's never going to be any one place, online or off, that's right for absolutely everyone that comes along.

Some people will not like what they find and they'll drift away.

Some people will not like what they find and they'll try to change the place to suit them.

Some people will find the place suit them well enough and will slide into a place they make.

And some people, Ruby, will find the place is exactly what they've been seeking all along and will embrace it with gladness.

Such is life, in here and Out There.

This forum will never meet the needs of everyone who comes here. It's a niche place, a place for the calm discussion of BDSM practices. It's not a place for chat room style BDSM. It's not the GB in miniature. It's not a place where we've historically done a lot of in-thread fucking and sucking. There are lots and lots of places like that. This is not one of them. This is a place for the rational discussion of all aspects of BDSM practices, skin-to-skin and LDR's that are likely going there.

Kick and scream all you like that i'm the only person that keeping this place from going the way everyone else wants it to go but you'll be wrong. If everyone else wanted it to go there, it would have been there already.

You do understand that, don't you?

 

[WillowPuss]

I disagree. Ruby, where has your opinion been stifled?

This forum came to be because there was a group of people who wanted a place that was safe. Where they could discuss BDSM without the flames and wars that always happened on the GB. Where there could be real discussion without subbie couches, without all the capitalization rules, without the subs requesting permission to speak and without the cutesy, fake fawning that permeates most online BDSM places.

Since the beginning, we have tried to maintain that atmosphere here. Sometimes it's harder than others and as the forum continues to grow, it becomes even more difficult. It also becomes even more important. For every post i've made here, i've read probably 1000 and learned more than in any other place. If this forum changes, if it degenerates into a forum like every other BDSM online place, then something of immense value will be lost.

This board doesn't change daily/hourly. Because those of us who are here understand the value of what we have.

I have to agree with mg5 on this.
Before I found this forum, I tried a few other places. Without exception ... all discussions were firmly led by the 'owner' of the board/group/whatever. Submissives were permitted to ask questions only when invited so to do. If a Dom/me spoke, then that was it - no follow up discusion was deemed necessary. And if the 'owner' spoke - well ... it was then etched in stone. How could anyone even think otherwise.

This forum is not lead in such a manner.
Submissives are actively encouraged to seek knowledge.
Dom/mes speak with subs as if they are equal human beings.
Switches are actually recognised!

I love this place with a passion.
I have only been here a few weeks, but have never, ever felt less than welcome. I have rarely had my posts dismissed out of hand (and then it really didn't matter anyway).


Now - what I am about to say will probably land me in a whole heap of trouble - but I will say it anyway.
Maybe - just maybe - if new people were to try and get a feel, a real feel for a place before jumping in straight away ... there would be less hurt feeling, less "I am being ignored" type thing?
But thats just me. If I go to a 3D function ... I try and remain quiet for a while to get a feel for the place before making my presence felt.


There is a place for everyone who truly wishes to discuss BDSM, who truly wishes to learn and share knowledge here.

This is a very valuable comodity we have here ... lets not totally ruin it.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Girl, I love cym. When I met her, I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and not let go.

However, she has control issues.

I have many other issues, but thankfully they aren't on display here because I'm not a mod. Ha!

"Where has your opinion been stifled?"

Just look above, darlin.

My style of posting has been called on the carpet. Too sexual?

Too flirtatious?

Just too much?

Either way, I don't feel welcome here anymore.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I had a point here, but it was lost.

 

[morninggirl5]

Girl, I love cym. When I met her, I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and not let go.

However, she has control issues.

I have many other issues, but thankfully they aren't on display here because I'm not a mod. Ha!

"Where has your opinion been stifled?"

Just look above, darlin.

My style of posting has been called on the carpet. Too sexual?

Too flirtatious?

Just too much?

Either way, I don't feel welcome here anymore.

I thought cym was jokingly answering your question on a thread you started about a Playground thread. If you read the introduction of that Playground thread, you will see that it was started because it wasn't a discussion thread which is what the BDSM forum is all about.

Because of one post, you feel uncomfortable? That doesn't sound like the person i've read for months on the GB. I'm truly suprised at that.

 

[Rubyfruit]

And I am surprised at your naïveté, Girl.

Anybody who read cym's reply to me on my flirt thread here (quoted above) and didn't see a pink elephant in the living room, wasn't looking very hard.

 

[cymbidia]

You're taking offense where it wasn't intended, K, and you've given back far more then whatever it was you think you got that prompted it. You've played with far sharper and more sexually pointed words then anything i might have sent to you. You've done so with a smile, too. Why this change in your play style now, here?

Let it go, please.

We've had enough ugliness here over this particular issue.

If the majority of the inhabitants of this place want it to change, then nothing and no one could possibly stop that change.

The reverse is true, too: if most of the people here see this place has value as it is, then it'll remain a place of comfort and value to them despite the best efforts of a few to tear it down.

That's a truism of forum life anywhere, everywhere, on the net.

 

[artful]

My Crusade

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with these type of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I STILL sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Maybe b.

Did anybody say this to you tonight though?

"Sure you can flirt here, Ruby, as you well know since you've done it nonstop since you got here. That Playground place, thogh i haven't ever been there, now that sounds like a fresh cock meat kinda place specifically tailored to your tastes, doesn't it?"


I also submit that the majority of the inhabitants here are more afraid of offending you (rightly so, given your reaction above - you keep a tight reign, b.) than openly talking about their experiences and opinions.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: My Crusade

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with these type of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I STILL sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.

Right now, dream is her own worst enemy, Artful.

It anyone has a flame thrower in hand, It is her.

Enuf said.

Eb

 

[James Blandings]

Maybe b.

Did anybody say this to you tonight though?

"Sure you can flirt here, Ruby, as you well know since you've done it nonstop since you got here. That Playground place, thogh i haven't ever been there, now that sounds like a fresh cock meat kinda place specifically tailored to your tastes, doesn't it?"


I also submit that the majority of the inhabitants here are more afraid of offending you (rightly so, given your reaction above - you keep a tight reign, b.) than openly talking about their experiences and opinions.

Well, I posted several times asking people to bring any complaints about the board to me, and I would give them a fair hearing. I got one response and it was only tangentally related. I truly regret that you don't feel welcome here, but I don't think you speak for the majority.

 

[artful]

Re: Re: My Crusade

Right now, dream is her own worst enemy, Artful.

It anyone has a flame thrower in hand, It is her.

Enuf said.

Eb

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with those types of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.

 

[artful]

My Own Crusade

Well, I posted several times asking people to bring any complaints about the board to me, and I would give them a fair hearing. I got one response and it was only tangentally related. I truly regret that you don't feel welcome here, but I don't think you speak for the majority.

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with those types of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.

 

[James Blandings]

Artful, i posted an opinion, I did not flame anyone, particularly in this instance where I strongly respect the participants on both sides of the issue.
I don't appreciate your spam.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Fair Hearing?

Were you reading the same thread as me, James?

It's amazing to me the lengths you willl go to to protect the vision of the founding fathers.

How about addressing cym's post to me redirecting me to the Playground for fresh cock meat?

 

[artful]

My Own Crusade

Artful, i posted an opinion, I did not flame anyone, particularly in this instance where I strongly respect the participants on both sides of the issue.
I don't appreciate your spam.

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with those types of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I still sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.

 

[artful]

My Own Crusade

Were you reading the same thread as me, James?

It's amazing to me the lengths you willl go to to protect the vision of the founding fathers.

How about addressing cym's post to me redirecting me to the Playground for fresh cock meat?

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with those types of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I STILL sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.