"We're not a chat room...."

[redelicious]

Know what is sad?

Instead of participating in serious discussions or flirting (whichever you like), y'all are all in here bickering . . .

Red *pissing off both sides* Delicious

 

[A Desert Rose]

Slapping myself along side the head

Rose, Rose, this is NOT a chat room!!!


Let that be our motto.

 

[A Desert Rose]

showing some thigh

Know what is sad?

Instead of participating in serious discussions or flirting (whichever you like), y'all are all in here bickering . . .

Red *pissing off both sides* Delicious

Red, I am with you. Let's retire to the Dom Lounge and flirt.

Rose

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Re: Stealing a line from Dixie

Can I set up a concession stand in here? I have kids to put through college......

Rose

Wanna go partners on that Rose? I really think we'd make a killing. ~wink~

dixi

 

[P. B. Walker]

With respect to PBW, I don't think I jumped down anybody's throats at all. I think that's a gross overstatement. Lance and I exchanged a few jabs in fun, best as I can tell. It was entirely in keeping with the tone of Lance's replies to date; though directed at noone in particular, I had a suspicion he'd be the first to respond. I don't see any crying, at any rate.

And, I explained my confusion about this issue in some detail, twice on this page alone. I didn't make any insults, demands, or proclamations. I don't know what the problem is, though I'm open to clarification.

I may have been a bit gross, but it's not that overstated. Your post was combative. It came off as belittling Ruby's complaint. You were backing up Cym and furthering her argument. In fact, you turn it around and say Ruby should be getting some punishment for even feeling like she's been stifled.

So I think my point is definitely still valid. I just over simplified it.

It's clearly obvious that your post started more shit and didn't help to let this issue go away.

As an outsider I have to ask (with respect): We've seen not one, but several people say the same thing (i.e., you are stifling us) and yet, every moderator responds the same way. Don't you see a problem here? I don't know the issues or all the incidents. But when you see all these people making complaints and the same answers from the moderators... it doesn't make sense to the rest of us. Either there is a plot by a bunch of the posters here to blow shit out of proportion, or ya'll are not seeing the fact that maybe you are stifling and controlling people here. Which ever it is... I think it needs to be addressed and not pushed off by getting combative and bitchy at everyone.

JMHO...


PBW

 

[RisiaSkye]

Know what is sad?

Instead of participating in serious discussions or flirting (whichever you like), y'all are all in here bickering . . .

Red *pissing off both sides* Delicious

Amen to that.

I'm bored by flirting, but I do just *love* the drama.

And now both "sides" of this little tiff are pissed off at me.
Ah, life.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Stealing a line from Dixie

Wanna go partners on that Rose? I really think we'd make a killing. ~wink~

dixi

Come on Dixie, join Red and I in the Dom Lounge. We can discuss profit sharing.

Rose

 

[redelicious]

Re: showing some thigh

Red, I am with you. Let's retire to the Dom Lounge and flirt.

Rose

Or be serious.

Whatever, I am there.

 

[navarre]

Re: I am not Edgar Cayce.....

Please tell me that I was not the ONLY one who saw this all coming?

LOL

Rose

Not quite Rose.
I have remained silent throughout most of this.
I think it's time for my $.02.
It seems to me that this shit has been going on all summer.
I do not know the participants and I generally do not interact with them so I have no axe to grind.
It does seem to me that each time this shit starts there is ONE particular person at the center of. I think someone earlier used the words "every other Tuesday" in referring to this person.
It is sad.
It is getting VERY OLD.
It is about time for it to end.
Perhaps it is time for the parties involved to take a good look at themselves and their actions and ask themselves if they really want to be here or if they really should be here. Perhaps it is time for them to move on.


...And, PBW,
I think that you have made some VERY valid and well thought out points.

Just MHO.....and I own it (with apologies to Art)

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I'm sorry but I really just don't understand something. What is the problem with flirting on occasion? Does everything or every thread here have to be serious discussion? Does anyone but me find THAT to be totally boring? Yes all flirting all the time would be just as boring honestly, but what's wrong with a mix?

Why are people here so damned defensive all the time? That too is very boring

Just things I have wondered but was afraid to ask. Yes I said afraid to ask, because I don't want or need jumped all over for my feelings. Real life does that enough for me thank you very much. I came here to get away from that kind of shit, and would ya just look at that....there it is all over again. I left the GB for these reasons. And before anyone tells me not to let the door hit my ass on the way out, I know that no one is making me stay here.

These are just my thoughts and opinions.

dixi "the totally sick of the wars" critter

 

[RisiaSkye]

I may have been a bit gross, but it's not that overstated. Your post was combative. It came off as belittling Ruby's complaint. You were backing up Cym and furthering her argument. In fact, you turn it around and say Ruby should be getting some punishment for even feeling like she's been stifled.

I didn't suggest punishment for anybody in anything but the most clearly joking of ways. ("without so much as a spanking") You're wrong on this point. I don't punish, which I think everyone here knows. I communicate, I debate, and I attempt to relate. I don't pretend that punishment even *can* be meted out through a computer screen; and I certainly don't use mine for such purposes.

It's clearly obvious that your post started more shit and didn't help to let this issue go away.

That wasn't my intent, but I don't control how people respond. Further, I don't censor them for misusing my remarks to further their own persecution fantasies. Ironic, isn't it?

As an outsider I have to ask (with respect): We've seen not one, but several people say the same thing (i.e., you are stifling us) and yet, every moderator responds the same way. Don't you see a problem here? I don't know the issues or all the incidents. But when you see all these people making complaints and the same answers from the moderators... it doesn't make sense to the rest of us.

Be careful about speaking for everyone, PBW. Such claims are very difficult to defend. I've heard plenty of agreement with my position from other posters.

And, yes I see a problem. A patent refusal to accept Moderators as people and community members. Moderators cannot fix that for you.

Either there is a plot by a bunch of the posters here to blow shit out of proportion, or ya'll are not seeing the fact that maybe you are stifling and controlling people here. Which ever it is... I think it needs to be addressed and not pushed off by getting combative and bitchy at everyone.

My money's on option A.

And in saying that, I'm not just being "combative" or "bitchy." I spend a LOT of time on the fence, trying to see both sides of issues, and being a damn sight more level-headed and MODERATE than 99% of people here. I've tried to understand this issue for months.

I don't see it the same way you do. I see posters complaining about being stifled for lots of reasons, none of which have actually prevented them from posting or saying whatever they want to say. I see cymbidia & James trying to foster an adult forum, focused on real life and real discussion, and trying like hell to defend themselves and the forum from random attack and sometimes intensely personal words of hatred from the same people who claim to be wronged, who claim to be morally right in some battle they've envisioned between the forces of Evil Mods and Innocent Posters. And I see a lot of pointless in-fighting and power struggle. I see a waste of time, and one that turns into mud-slinging personal attacks with alarming regularity.

In short, I see a concerted effort to blow things like snarky comments and miscommunications grotesquely out of proportion.

To steal a page from Art's playbook: that's my opinion, and I own it.

 

[MissTaken]

Damn.

This is starting to look like one of those never ending threads in the playground, a place I happen to enjoy when the mood strikes.

However, rather than it being a lovefest, it is a bitch fest.

I quit reading this thread days ago, since my last post here, actually.

I guess I don't give a flying fuck who pisses in who's wheaties.

I also don't care what any of you think of me.
There are far more posters than just cym and Lance.
And many of the other posters have lots of beneficial stuff to talk about or some great lines to flirt with.

Hell, cym and Lance have lots of good stuff to say when the flames aren't flying.


NOw, I will go find a grown up thread. Have fun, kiddies.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I'm sorry but I really just don't understand something. What is the problem with flirting on occasion? Does everything or every thread here have to be serious discussion? Does anyone but me find THAT to be totally boring? Yes all flirting all the time would be just as boring honestly, but what's wrong with a mix?
dixi "the totally sick of the wars" critter

Know what is wrong with it Dixie? If it's not YOU (rhetorically speaking) being the flirtee, it apparently raises some people's ire.

As for me, I love to watch the romance budding between two or more people. As Risia said, it is drama and as for me, it is also fun and funny to be the observer.

Rose

 

[lovetoread]

Know what is wrong with it Dixie? If it's not YOU (rhetorically speaking) being the flirtee, it apparently raises some people's ire.

As for me, I love to watch the romance budding between two or more people. As Risia said, it is drama and as for me, it is also fun and funny to be the observer.

Rose

I love the flirting.

It seems though that if you flirt on this board..then your IQ must be lower than anyone that doesnt.

 

[A Desert Rose]

The legions are growing

There ya go-- we are all in agreement. WE love to FLIRT. Meet me in the Dom Lounge......

I love the flirting.

It seems though that if you flirt on this board..then your IQ must be lower than anyone that doesnt.

 

[Guest]

long time reader, seldom poster

Read Never's contribution to this forum and compare that to Ruby. Talk about little interest in skin to skin bdsm. But I guess lesbians get a free pass here.

 

[P. B. Walker]

I didn't suggest punishment for anybody in anything but the most clearly joking of ways. ("without so much as a spanking") You're wrong on this point. I don't punish, which I think everyone here knows. I communicate, I debate, and I attempt to relate. I don't pretend that punishment even *can* be meted out through a computer screen; and I certainly don't use mine for such purposes.

So now you back off and say you were just joking about it? I think I got your point, but your argument was still basically this: "people make accusations and they are ok, whereas Cym gets crude and people jump down her throat. Where's the justice?" Is that pretty accurate? So again, you kinda are saying that Ruby should have to apologize for "flinging poo" as you called it. I don't feel that she should. Like I said, I thought she had a valid complain that was then belittled by Cym. I'm sorry you don't see that.

I don't see you saying my other arguments were wrong so I'll assume you did agree with me on those (except for the punishment issue). Also, I wasn't questioning your philosophy on punishment/discipline/debating/etc. I was meerly pointing out that in your original statement, you said all the other people flinging poo don't get punishment, which in my mind is saying, Ruby deserves punishment.

That wasn't my intent, but I don't control how people respond. Further, I don't censor them for misusing my remarks to further their own persecution fantasies. Ironic, isn't it?

That's like saying, "It wasn't my intent for the dog to bark when I pulled it's tail". I mean, come on! This is a no-brainer to me. That comes down to thinking before you speak.

Are you implying I have a persecution fantasy now (whatever the hell that is)? If so, then "whatever", if not, then "I guess I read it wrong, no problem". I guess you could say, I'm ambivalent.

Be careful about speaking for everyone, PBW. Such claims are very difficult to defend. I've heard plenty of agreement with my position from other posters.

Ok.. replace that "We've" with "I've". My point still stands. Sorry for that small lapse in thinking. I musta had a brain fart.

And, yes I see a problem. A patent refusal to accept Moderators as people and community members. Moderators cannot fix that for you.

I think it's good that you do see a problem. I personally have no problem accepting Mods as members of the community. At the same time, you have to realize that you wear a hat of responsibility. If you can't accept that, then you shouldn't be a moderator. I'm not asking any of you (moderators) to fix anything. I'm only asking that you act like good moderators. I personally think it is fair for me to ask that of you.

My money's on option A.

And in saying that, I'm not just being "combative" or "bitchy." I spend a LOT of time on the fence, trying to see both sides of issues, and being a damn sight more level-headed and MODERATE than 99% of people here. I've tried to understand this issue for months.

I don't see it the same way you do. I see posters complaining about being stifled for lots of reasons, none of which have actually prevented them from posting or saying whatever they want to say. I see cymbidia & James trying to foster an adult forum, focused on real life and real discussion, and trying like hell to defend themselves and the forum from random attack and sometimes intensely personal words of hatred from the same people who claim to be wronged, who claim to be morally right in some battle they've envisioned between the forces of Evil Mods and Innocent Posters. And I see a lot of pointless in-fighting and power struggle. I see a waste of time, and one that turns into mud-slinging personal attacks with alarming regularity.

My comments about "bitchy" were directed at Cym's initial post. Not any of your posts. Sorry that wasn't clearer.

I applaud you for taking the time to see this issue from all sides and not just jumping in with both feet. You are right, you probably don't see it the same as I do. I just see alot of fighting between the same parties. I see alot of other people that don't like it either. I see the same arguments from each side too.

I don't need to know the details of what has been occuring all summer. That is because, like many people here I think, I don't want to get involved. I just want someone, somebody, to fix it. To stop the fighting. I assumed that would be the moderators. But from what I see, the moderators help to keep it going. And every week or two, we see a new incident between a moderator and a poster. The scary thing is that it seems each week, it's a different, new poster, whereas there are only 3 moderators. The track record isn't looking too good in my opinion.

In short, I see a concerted effort to blow things like snarky comments and miscommunications grotesquely out of proportion.

To steal a page from Art's playbook: that's my opinion, and I own it.

I hope you aren't lumping me into this "concerted effort". I have no problem with getting along with just about *anybody* as long as they treat me with some form of civility. Lacking that, I can give as good as I get. I would much rather see us all getting along together and helping each other to live and learn in this lifestyle. Maybe I'm living a pipedream though.

Anyway... I agree this is a waste of effort, so hopefully we'll just quit this now so you and the other people in this fight can maybe come up with a way to address this situation.

Thanks for listening.

PBW "Ugghhh.. Lit wouldn't let me post for like 30 mins... bastards!" LOL

 

[Lancecastor]

From the Lit FAQ's- Ha!

What are Moderators?
Moderators are volunteers who help make the Bulletin Board more enjoyable by removing spam and answering questions. The names of the Moderators are listed next to the Forum which they moderate. If you have a question about a certain forum that has a Moderator, feel free to email that Moderator and he or she will do their best to make your time on the site fun!

 

[~Dream~]

sneaking in for a minute..

I run in to give P.B.W. a GREAT BIG HUGG chat-room style oops I forgot,we are NOT a chatroom(sorry Lance) sorry for all the "wars going on with you too Ruby hun oops did I say "hun " again? I vehemently apologize ,sorry you have been "put through the ropes" Ruby ,seriously and you gotta admit that IS more BDSM like ,isnt it? I have been way too busy fighting my own wars ,why? gee I really dont know cause quite frankly the people who have been "flaming" me are definately NOT worth my time OR energy, thinking of joining Rose,Ruby and Dixie in the Dom's Lounge (if they'll have me) lol but like Miss T put it it's about time to go elsewhere and post where at least people act like "Adults!! Sorry If I've hurt any feelings and or used any harmful language in the making of this post just know that Posts made by Dream are nut suitable for the viewing audience of children under 18 ok? and not nevcessarily the opinions at all of my Master Artful ,please will you people quit stealing pages from His playbook? I gotta keep track of that damn thing ya know!!

 

[luvsubbbbb]

moderators........

I may have been a bit gross, but it's not that overstated. Your post was combative. It came off as belittling Ruby's complaint. You were backing up Cym and furthering her argument. In fact, you turn it around and say Ruby should be getting some punishment for even feeling like she's been stifled.

So I think my point is definitely still valid. I just over simplified it.

It's clearly obvious that your post started more shit and didn't help to let this issue go away.

As an outsider I have to ask (with respect): We've seen not one, but several people say the same thing (i.e., you are stifling us) and yet, every moderator responds the same way. Don't you see a problem here? I don't know the issues or all the incidents. But when you see all these people making complaints and the same answers from the moderators... it doesn't make sense to the rest of us. Either there is a plot by a bunch of the posters here to blow shit out of proportion, or ya'll are not seeing the fact that maybe you are stifling and controlling people here. Which ever it is... I think it needs to be addressed and not pushed off by getting combative and bitchy at everyone.

JMHO...


PBW

i believe moderators in general deserve medals for putting up with constant criticism.........

i do NOT wish to belittle the feelings of those who have gotten hurt in the past (or present) and this post is not to talk about what happened, as an apology was made and was accepted, even though the bickering, for some reason, did NOT end........

but it seems to me that the MODs are ALWAYS in a no win situation......

1) say SOMETHING and they appear to be heavyhanded and controlling

2) say NOTHING and they get criticized for losing control or not doing "their job" (is THIS what we DON'T pay you for???)

for many years i used to work in community service and it is truly a thankless job...........people love to complain and belittle your efforts..........

- it makes them feel less jealous of your "status"
- they think you owe them the world since you "supposedly" get all the recognition
- they love calling you a control freak.......(otherwise, why would you be doing such a thankless job?)

i am sick and tired of some people complaining on a thread, then extrapolating that THE WHOLE FORUM IS UNHAPPY!........its like MACY's Customer Service chief lamenting because 99% of his calls are NEGATIVE!

in the limited time that i have been here, my experience has been that the moderators do an EXCELLENT job.......they are serious, focused, encourage participation, and work hard...........i can tell that it is a labor of love for them.......

and you know what?....it doesnt bother me if they they sometimes appear to steer the ship with a particular vision..........or pass along some advice to individuals for the benefit of "the group".........it is a reflection of the pride that they have in their work........what they have built up over time........and they dont like seeing people piss it away.....i know....it is hard to see that unless you are in their shoes.........

i am not making light of some of the complaints of the previous posters.........all i am saying is that the moderators ALL work hard........and deserve to be cut some slack.........

so......lets please GIVE IT UP and move on to some SERIOUS FLIRTING!!....i mean......PERVERTED POSTING!!....

uuummm.... errrr...well.....you know what i mean.......
----------------------------------------------------------------------

i wrote this post 2 freakin' hours ago...but Lit went down before i could press send......oh well.......:looks around for someone to blame......but just manages a weak shrug:: )

 

[Lancecastor]

Didn't you see the Memo?

Excellent post, LS.

You're right, of course, about all of it.

But so is PBW.

And Risia.

And even me.

Everyone's opinion is valid.

Except for:

1. Cym's

2. Caroline Oh's

3. Sometimes James, when he gets bitchy;

4. Mz Christa, but only when she gets all bulldyke about me & #2

5. Unregistered

Their opinions are not valid. There was a Memo.

Thanks;

Lance

 

[P. B. Walker]

LMAO...

I always miss the fr**kin memo... shit.

Damn I gotta start paying attention.

PBW "If I cum on a piece of paper, does that constitute a memo?"

 

[artful]

Re: My Crusade

quote:

Originally posted by artful
In my opinion, Lance didn't author "How to Win Friends and
Influence
People",...but his communicative skills are very superb.

There seems to have been a few people that took his posts out
of context when
he first began contributing in this Forum, and the "Flaming"
erupted.

Personally,...the same thing happened to me when I first
started posting here.
Thankfully,...RisiaSkye stepped forward and gave me an out,
where I could exit
with *Honor*. When Artful's dream started a NEW thread, we
again faced less
than welcoming gestures,(PM's and such)

There are times when this happens. For ANY of us to DENY
that,...would be to
deny the TRUTH. The problem lies not in the sticky,...the
Moderators,
...or Literotica.

The problem is in jumping in, and pointing fingers at a *person*,
in caustic and
abusive, words and intents, causing THAT person, to FEEL
rejected.

Retaliating, or reponding to those posts, (To defend ones self, is
only natural).

When FRIENDS of one person, (likely to BE people who have a
vested interest in
PROTECTING one of their own), jump in to SPEAK for someone
else, or DEFEND
anothers position, is where the "Flame", breaks out into a
"WAR".

Lines are drawn,...sides are formed,...and needless casualties
ensue. Well
meaning people get THEIR emotions stepped on,...their feelings
get hurt, and the
fire spreads.

Newbies SEE this,...and it DOES inhibit them from posting in this
Forum. Hell,...it
would inhibit them from posting in ANY Forum.

I have MANY friends who STILL, will not post in this Forum
because they saw
what happened to Dream and I when we FIRST came here.
THOSE are just the
people *I* know.

What are the true numbers ? Your guess is as good as anyone
elses. As I stated
above, the problem is NOT the sticky, the Moderators, nor
Literotica.
The problem is WE posters.

Until people decide to back off, and not respond to the,
*possibly* inflammatory
posts, this Forum will likely continue on with those types of
NEEDLESS eruptions of
*FLAMES*, and THAT'S why, I STILL sit on the fence with my finger up
my ass.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it!

(see Ruby,...I added some words)-*chuckle*

 

[Guest]

more rude and intimidating comments

She made one snarky comment somebody didn't like, and it turned into a big "cym's crushing our spirits" complaint festival. What is that, Part 345,201?

My question is, what's the BFD?

Dream honey, you go ahead and learn. Good for you.

I have some advice:

1. Try to post in a way that's at least a little bit logical. Most of the time, most of us can't understand what the fuck your point is--or where it is in middle of all the apparently meaningless drivel that's surrounding it--or if you even have a point.

2. If you don't want to be treated like an addled child, then don't act like one. Leave your childish foot-stomping theatrics at home.

3. Remember: we're not here to train you. That's Artful's job. We're here to post and talk about BDSM as it relates to our lives. Most of us could give a flying fuck whether you agree with our thoughts or not.

4. As you keep pointing out, you're new to this. Many of us aren't. While our version of this is specific to us, individually, we have alot in common, those of us who've been there-done and/or thought a lot about BDSM. If you keep playing your little chat room games and you'll miss out on what we have to say, those of us who have the experience you say you want as well as those of us who've thought deeply into this even if we don't have the experience.

5. Know this: Most of us don't give a rat's ass who you like and who you don't like, who you consider REAL friends and who who think are not "sweetys" or your "sis". We're not here to build forts with you and and lob water balloons at those meanies over there, the ones who won't play kissy games with you. We're not here to share 's and x12's with you, either.

6. Your posts are so badly composed, so lacking in even basic punctuation, that many of us can't make much sense out of them. In all honesty, my 14 year old daughter could write rings around you---back when she was 10. You might want to work on your written communication skills a bit, dream, since this place is one in which we're judged, partially, on the way in which we express ourselves via written language. I'm talking the basics, here, things like periods, commas, paragraphs, complete sentences, the absence of run-on sentences, and accepted rules of capitalization.

We're here to grow and learn as adults, as dominants and submissives. This isn't a chat room where everyone kisses everyone else as they arrive and leave. It doesn't mean anything to any of us what you claim about yourself. Talk is cheap. What matters is how you contribute to the place as a whole and what you have to share.

You want to learn, fine.
Come sit at the adults table and act like an adult.
Otherwise don't be surprised that very few here take you seriously.

Edited to add more: I lost the subbies pool as to when you'd be back, dream. I guessed 48 hours.

 

[Lancecastor]

Papier Mache

"If I cum on a piece of paper, does that constitute a memo?"

PBW; If you cum on a piece of paper, that constitutes Papier Mache.


I'm sure the Memo, entitled "Die Wesley Crusher, Die, Die, Die" was available on most newsgroups, including alt.bdsmforum, some time ago.

Where were you?

Right......making papier mache.

Doesn't it chafe?

Lance "Dematologists Get All The Skin" Castor