What’s your strongest opening to a story?

[lustychimera]

The man in black fed across the desert, and the gunslinger swallowed.

 

[32aa]

Abby and the Outlaws


Let me start out by sayin' that I did not smother Roy Henderson with a pillow. That was some malarkey his old battle axe of a wife made up because she couldn't stand the notion that her whore mongerin' son of a bitch husband met his maker while some young gal was ridin' his pole. It was just my poor fortune to be the gal ridin' it.

Now, my personal thought on the matter is that he had himself an apoplexy of some sort. He was well known to be a slow squirter, and he put a lot of strain into the deed. If you ask me, he should've been charged extra for all the time he took, but there ain't no point to makin' that argument now.

Whatever reason he went to meet his maker, it weren't my fault. I fuck good, but I ain't never fucked a fella to death.

But the widow made the claim, although smotherin' a customer who paid me regular don't make no sense. I reckon nobody truly believed her, but she had just come heir to the second biggest cattle ranch in the territory, so that senile old coot Judge Vickers bought her story like it was five cent whiskey, slammed down his gavel and told me I had to hang by my neck until I was dead.

Melissa... Nice story. If you hadn't posted it here it wouldn't have gotten my attention. A different style from your usual and telling it through Abby's eyes worked well. The rough descriptive phrases were something else. Where did you come across all of those?

 

[PrincessArianrhod]

Personally, I'm fond of this opening from Waiting Room:

Lauren gritted her teeth to stop from swearing aloud as the wind made its third attempt to push her skirt up over her hips. It had been a beautifully calm and sunny day when she'd chosen to wear the oh-so-short, white cotton summer dress. Now, as she stood on the station platform, her long blonde hair whipping around her face, fighting to maintain her modesty against the persistent gusts, she wished she'd chosen jeans. The ever-darkening sky brought with it a wave of chilly air; the threat of rain coupled with the wind was beginning to push her into giving up on the day, and just going home.

 

[Duleigh]

From Captain Scarlett Saves Mars!!!
​

February 12, 2156

TO: Ray Clark, President of Mars

SUBJECT: Jezero Crater

I've been following the water problems on Mars, and I have an idea that will work. I know it's been years since I lived on Mars, but it's still home to me, and you are family. The attached document lays out the detailed plan, and I've attached the chief engineer's comments. Please let me do this, Uncle Ray. I have the equipment and the people, and the funding is rolling in. I can't stand by and watch every colony on Mars shut down because of this water shortage. All I need from you is a place to work, and Jezero Crater would be perfect.

Signed: Alan Scarlett

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>​

February 27, 2156

TO: Alan B. Scarlett, Captain, Western Alliance Navy

SUBJECT: Jezero Crater

Your plan is audacious and terrifying at the same time. It's crazy, but I think if anyone can pull it off, it would be you. I ran it through the political meat grinder, and everyone agrees, it's a million to one shot. No one has ever done anything like your plan describes and three quarters of the Martian senate says it's impossible. Let's do it. At this point, Mars has nothing to lose and everything to gain. I'll be on Earth for colonial conferences from June first to the fifteenth. Let's get together and get the ball rolling on the Jezero Lake Project. (You name for the plan, The Azimov Plan, doesn't score well in marketing groups)

Can't wait to see you Al, it's been far too long. Will Pandora be there?

Signed: Ray Clark, President of Mars

 

[Bazzle]

This is my latest WIP

"His cock was hard and big. I'm almost ashamed to say it's slightly bigger than my husbands. It looked good with my fingers firmly wrapped around it. Stroking up and down as quickly as I could. All the time I kept my eyes on him as I slowly and purposefully dragged on my cigarette. The large shaft throbbed with every stroke of my right hand, it and my fingers were now glistening with pre cum dribbling the tip. He was responding nicely to me. Before my smoke filled lips locked again around my filter and heaved in once again.

Again not everyone's taste

Well Laurel has chosen it to go in First Time. Will be interesting to see how they get on with Rice and smoke

 

[jomar]

I have warm and fuzzy feelings about the intro to my tender love story “White Trash”
…..
Yeah, I fucked her. The cunt living in the double-wide next door, the one with the deck facing mine. Fuck I care she was married. I fucked her skank friend too. They both wanted it. Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

I got sent home from the plant early Thursday because that bastard foreman has it in for me. Ever since his skeezy wife flirted with me at the goddamn company picnic. I mean, shit, she's a drunk and if he can't keep her sober or satisfied, well, not my fucking problem. I still laugh my ass off when I think about seeing her kiss him as soon as we got back to the table. I bet he got a whiff of her cockbreath. I'm fucked if she told him she sucked my dick though. Dickhead son of a bitch. Fucker sat me out Friday too.
…..

It’s so over the top crude and silly stroker with a whiff of a plot, I still laugh at it. Was a fun exercise

 

[MelissaBaby]

Melissa... Nice story. If you hadn't posted it here it wouldn't have gotten my attention. A different style from your usual and telling it through Abby's eyes worked well. The rough descriptive phrases were something else. Where did you come across all of those?

Thank you. I watched a few episodes of Deadwood and took a lot of vocabulary and syntax from the show's dialogue. I also found an excellent glossary of Western slang at https://www.legendsofamerica.com/we-slang/

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I consider my strongest opening to a story to often be the ending of the one it follows.

"His Daddy's Car" -> "Change" -> "Searching" -> "Elements"
These are all stand-alone stories with cliffhanger endings that provide the opening for the next story in the universe.

My series, "Uncle Sugar Daddy" has each episode ending with a tease to the opening of the next.

 

[intim8]

From Captain Scarlett Saves Mars!!!

Is this not published yet?

 

[Duleigh]

Is this not published yet?

Not published yet, it's ready to go for May's Geek Pride month.

 

[intim8]

Not published yet, it's ready to go for May's Geek Pride month.

And I'm supposed to wait that long?!?

 

[Duleigh]

And I'm supposed to wait that long?!?

I'm teasing the hell out of it because my Geek Pride stories get high ratings but low readership. I thought I hit it out of the park with my Terry Pratchett homage Enchantress but barely 2000 views later it's time for Geek Pride again.

 

[Mogrem]

Opening to The Sculptor: Natalie and HelenaThe Sculptor: Natalie and Helena:

One of his models, Natalie, came into his cavernous third floor studio towards the end of the evening, clearly agitated.

"I'm pregnant," she told him.

"Congratulations," he said, looking up from the wax he was working on.

"You don't get it. I think its yours."

"Nonetheless, congratulations."

"What?"

 

[Mogrem]

My unpublished flash fiction masterpiece, about a boy called Tim writing erotica to a very very tight word count:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of Tim[snip]

 

[Unblemished]

Not got much to say about my published works on here, but I like the new style I’m trying on a few of my WIPs:

The Graveyard Shift

They say that on Halloween the veil thins, and the boundaries between earth and the spirit world weaken. They say that on that night, the 31st of October, the dead return to the land of the living, magic is at its strongest, and unholy presences walk the earth.

It isn’t true. The real date is sometime in mid-to-late August.

The Partygoer’s Tale

Before we start, I should make it clear that Todd and Damien had never been enemies. Yes, one was a jock and one was a nerd, but the Eighties are over. Even the meatheads play Call of Duty nowadays, and some of today’s biggest geeks can be found nerding out over macronutrients after a gym sesh. Besides, we have new and exciting stereotypes now. The old cliches of college frat movies are fading like all the other tropes of the Brat Pack era: Mullets, neoliberal politics, affordable rent, the looming spectre of nuclear annihilation in a war with the Soviet Union, that sort of thing.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Not got much to say about my published works on here, but I like the new style I’m trying on a few of my WIPs:

The Graveyard Shift


The Partygoer’s Tale

These are both great openings. I would read the next paragraph of each.

 

[AchtungNight]

One form of opening I’ve had a lot of success with multiple times is a sex scene. Open with two characters having sex and stir things up, then push the story from there. It could turn into a “How We Got Here” series of flashbacks, or maybe another character bursts in and they stir up emotions, or one character enjoys the sex but has issues with how the relationship is going so the characters talk out their issues. The latter can lead to more sex or breakup followed by frustrated masturbation and maybe later make up sex as you prefer. Regardless you get the sex posted right off and hopefully get readers into the characters for the meat of the plot.

 

[Candy_Kane54]

“Okay,” she said hesitantly, as though she wasn’t sure she had heard me correctly, “but I still don’t get why you won’t take my money.” As she spoke, her hands nervously fidgeted with the stack of Benjamins lying on the table in front of her.

I stuck out my hand and said, “It’s simple. If I take your money, it means I can be bought and paid for. That’s not how I operate. I have no need for your money. Instead, I barter. All I want in return for doing you a favor is a favor in return.” Now that the terms of our agreement have been stated, I was ready to close the deal.

“What kind of favor?” she asked as she reached for my hand.

“I don’t know,” I truthfully answered as I took her hand in mine, enjoying how it fit so perfectly into mine as we shook on the deal. “All I can tell you is that I’ll call on you sometime in the future for a favor. It will be something that you can do for me that I can’t do for myself.”

When I said that, she looked worried and asked, “Will it be dangerous?”

“Again, I don’t know,” I said as I regretfully let go of her hand. I smiled and said, “That’s something you will need to decide when the time comes.”

Curious, she asked, “What happens if I refuse to do what you ask?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Nothing?” she echoed.

“Nothing,” I reaffirmed. “If you refuse to help me after I’ve helped you, that’s on your conscience for the rest of your life, not mine.”

“And if I do what you ask, that’s it?” she asked.

“Yes,” I replied while flashing a reassuring smile at her. “Once I’ve asked you for a favor, and you do it, you will never hear from me again.”

I noticed that she looked a little disappointed when I said that. Despite the flare of heat that I felt down below, I started thinking about how I would take care of her problem. I stood up and said, “I’ll see myself out. Have a good day ....”

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

Pissed as a fucking newt.

I will use this in a future conversation with drinking friends.

 

[THBGato]

I tend to think my opening of Love is a Place: The Puzzle is quite effective certainly at establishing the MC. It was definitely a lot of fun to write.

Love is a place (Part 1): The Puzzle

Samantha had a Puzzle to solve. Not a Problem. She wasn't sure if it merited that classification yet. A Problem was something that caused her difficulty in her life. A Problem would require Action and Change. A Puzzle was something new that she didn't yet understand, but she needed to understand in order to decide whether a) there was a Problem or b) no Action was needed.

It had taken her some time to become aware that this Puzzle was there in her life. This was unusual: normally new things were jarring, causing a stench in her hearing and a folding in her chest. This Puzzle had crept up on her. That in itself was puzzling.

She had finished her lunch and washed her hands, she had reviewed her notes from the pre-reading and now had 25 minutes before her lecture began. Deciding that this was enough time to begin working on the Puzzle, she opened a new document, titled it Puzzle Sub:Sarah No. 162 and filed it in her Sarah folder, in the sub-folder for that year.

She began to type.

Hypothesis: I think Sarah may desire me sexually.

 

[karina_jayde]

It's pretty simple and straightforward, but I think that's why I like it, from my recent fantasy/barbarian/nun femdom story (https://literotica.com/s/breaking-the-barbarian-ch-01)

The iron prow of my longship crashed into the hull of my brother's vessel.

Does a lot (IMO) with one sentence. Tells you that the MC is a barbarian/Viking of some sort, and that he's trying to kill his brother. Gets right into the action with one sentence, makes the goal clear, and establishes (broadly speaking) the nature of the setting/story. I don't think any of my other intros cover as much ground with just the very first sentence.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I will use this in a future conversation with drinking friends.

Drunk as a skunk, pissed as a newt - standard British similes. 'Wasted as a fucking ferret' would be more intense, if needed.

And of course, pretty much any word ending in -ed can mean either drunk or to have had sex, depending on intonation and context. 'She got totally tapestried last night, went back to this guy's place and got completely doorframed...'

 

[StillStunned]

Drunk as a skunk, pissed as a newt - standard British similes. 'Wasted as a fucking ferret' would be more intense, if needed.

And of course, pretty much any word ending in -ed can mean either drunk or to have had sex, depending on intonation and context. 'She got totally tapestried last night, went back to this guy's place and got completely doorframed...'

According to Michael McIntyre, "gazeboed".

 

[StillStunned]

Drunk as a skunk, pissed as a newt - standard British similes.

Barrister: "And you say the defendant was inebriated at this time?"
Witness: "Yes, he was as drunk as a judge."
Judge: "The expression, I believe, is as drunk as a lord."
Witness: "Sorry, M'Lord."

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

Drunk as a skunk, pissed as a newt - standard British similes. 'Wasted as a fucking ferret' would be more intense, if needed.

And of course, pretty much any word ending in -ed can mean either drunk or to have had sex, depending on intonation and context. 'She got totally tapestried last night, went back to this guy's place and got completely doorframed...'

I hear it the other way around: ‘she got doorframed along with her boyfriend at the bar, then he took her home and tapestried her like an old scrap of linen.’