what doesn't kill us.....blah blah blah

[minx1]

It's 0740 am and I just got the kids off to school and hubby off to work. I don't go to work for another 8 hours sooo I added a little Bailey's to my morning coffee instead of cream, it's been a long week.

Minx--Welcome to the 40's. I'm on the upper half of my 40's and so far it has been my favorite decade. I wish the same for you.

lmao good for you es! Yanno I was just thinking I could enjoy a baileys the another night. Its not something I drink regularly...its normally a xmas kinda drink for me...but I was craving something creamy and alcoholic!

And thanks...I have loved my thirties and hope that my forties will be even better

am hoping that they will give me the confidence I need to pursue many things

 

[ecstaticsub]

I started drinking Baileys back after my daughter was a baby. When she started sleeping through the night I would breastfeed her and then after she fell asleep I would have a small glass on ice. It's like milk right, healthy

It is now my favorite wind down drink, esp in a hot bath.

My 40's have brought out my inner selfishness. I have spent my life taking care of others. I still do, but I also give consideration to my own needs.

They may not be the most submissive-ish statement but oh well

 

[minx1]

I started drinking Baileys back after my daughter was a baby. When she started sleeping through the night I would breastfeed her and then after she fell asleep I would have a small glass on ice. It's like milk right, healthy

It is now my favorite wind down drink, esp in a hot bath.

My 40's have brought out my inner selfishness. I have spent my life taking care of others. I still do, but I also give consideration to my own needs.

They may not be the most submissive-ish statement but oh well

I honestly believe thats what I need to start doing.

I mean it whan I say I compromise to my own detriment sometimes. I need to stop doing that. maybe not all the time, but certainly some of the time if I am going to fulfill at least someof my own life needs.

Now I really want baileys but will have to make do with this red wine

 

[ecstaticsub]

My 30's were spent ignoring my own health and mental well-being to care for family and extended family. I figured out finally that I can care for everyone else much better if I care for myself first.

The happy I am then happier I can make others.

The same with love. The more love I get, the more I can give.

 

[rida]

Hey thanks for the bucket of alcohol...need it
Hey hon, are you ok?? why anxious.....*hugs*

You are welcome!
I think thou that we drank half of it without you
As for the anxious ... wish I knew! It feels a lot like the quiet before the storm...

sorry Rida! I admit to trying to keep away from the thread when I am feeling a little glum and I am more than a little glum

*snip*

I am soon to be 40 and if I have learnt one thing during that time, its that I deserve and want love. Its that I expect it.

Do you know how long it is since I said I love you and heard I love you too, inresponse? Too long. Years actually. *soft smile*

This is my 40th year and there is no place for that in my life anymore.

WE LOVE YOU!
Ok, I know it is not the same ...

And good for you on the resolution for your 40s! Time to be selfish and cut off the people that just a dead weight. (I'll be turning 41 )

 

[rida]

It's 0740 am and I just got the kids off to school and hubby off to work. I don't go to work for another 8 hours sooo I added a little Bailey's to my morning coffee instead of cream, it's been a long week.

Bailey's for breakfast ... how decadent

My Japanese grandma used to have hot English tea with brandy for breakfast ... I thought it was a great idea! I'm tempted to do Bailey's & coffee for breakfast tomorrow but I'm afraid that with the drinking mood I'm is not a good idea. Will wait for the after-lunch one

One of these days I'll get someone to serve me for a change...

you calling?

 

[minx1]

oooh!

http://www.richardlarsen.co.uk/necklaces/collars/cat_28.html


*sigh*

 

[minx1]

My 30's were spent ignoring my own health and mental well-being to care for family and extended family. I figured out finally that I can care for everyone else much better if I care for myself first.

The happy I am then happier I can make others.

The same with love. The more love I get, the more I can give.

That makes a lot of sense. I know when I am happy and secure I am at my best.

I seem to give lots of love. I have lots to give. I just have to get some back now *laugh*

You are welcome!
I think thou that we drank half of it without you
As for the anxious ... wish I knew! It feels a lot like the quiet before the storm...




WE LOVE YOU!
Ok, I know it is not the same ...

And good for you on the resolution for your 40s! Time to be selfish and cut off the people that just a dead weight. (I'll be turning 41 )

Yeah it feels like the quiet before the storm here....if the quiet can be a shrieking, wailing, angry kinda quiet

and it may not the same but its still very lovely!

 

[ecstaticsub]

Bailey's for breakfast ... how decadent

My Japanese grandma used to have hot English tea with brandy for breakfast ... I thought it was a great idea! I'm tempted to do Bailey's & coffee for breakfast tomorrow but I'm afraid that with the drinking mood I'm is not a good idea. Will wait for the after-lunch one

Tomorrow I am off and will be painting all day. I think I'll be drinking a bit all day, too.

you calling?

I wish!

 

[girlofurdreams]

hey chick... i'm keepin quiet. but just wanted to say hi


..and are you getting my emails??? just random crap in general. no biggy if you're not.


miss ya x

 

[minx1]

behold......I am about to get pissed. Hopefully very pissed

and hopefully wake up the other side of tomorrow.

This is gonna be memorable....... for all the wrong reasons

 

[minx1]

hey chick... i'm keepin quiet. but just wanted to say hi


..and are you getting my emails??? just random crap in general. no biggy if you're not.


miss ya x

Hey hon *hugs*

don't keep too quiet eh....you have friends here and don't let anything put you off being here chickie

I haven't checked emails for a while. Sorry...been a bit outta sorts. Will take a look tomorrow.

oh gawd...tomorrow is today lol. Yay

I have an idea to do something. I need to do something to make it memorable somehow. Its not the most pleasant thing I can think of...but I need to take control a bit I think. Start as I mean to go on.

Anyway....come say hi soon hon

 

[rida]

hey chick... i'm keepin quiet. but just wanted to say hi

Hey B!
Good to see you around! How is the soccer season going?

 

[minx1]

only five hours to go and then this hideous day will be over.

Though I doubt the feelings I'm left with will go that quickly.

Rida sweetheart thankyou for the thread, I will go there when I am able and thank people properly

 

[rida]

only five hours to go and then this hideous day will be over.

Though I doubt the feelings I'm left with will go that quickly.

Rida sweetheart thankyou for the thread, I will go there when I am able and thank people properly

*kisses and wine for you*

don't worry about that ... I just wanted to make sure I got it up and running

 

[minx1]

I did do one thing today though.

Something that I had wanted to do since I arrived here. I took my wedding and engagement rings and launched them into the sea off this rocky point near to where I live. It had always played out differently in my head. In my head when I did it I was with my Master or with someone who loved me.

In reality I ended up doing it alone. Though as that is my reality it is probably for the best. Though I never felt alone before, even f that was the case. I strangely didn't feel it until yesterday *soft smile*

In return the sea gifted me a perfectly formed white shell.

It was a good swap I think.

 

[minx1]

*kisses and wine for you*

don't worry about that ... I just wanted to make sure I got it up and running

how did you know I was having wine

actually wine, beer and anything else I can get my hands on. I was up all last night with a stomach upset lol

fucking typical.

and thanks again

 

[rida]

cheers then!

I had a beer and a girly grapefruit drink and I'm staying away from the rest ...lol

And yes, I thing you got a good trade with the shell

waiting for this limbo to start un-limbing but it means I have to start doing something and well ... I'm still hoping that I do not have to ...

 

[minx1]

cheers then!

I had a beer and a girly grapefruit drink and I'm staying away from the rest ...lol

And yes, I thing you got a good trade with the shell

waiting for this limbo to start un-limbing but it means I have to start doing something and well ... I'm still hoping that I do not have to ...

I hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel very soon hon

Limbo is a shit state to be in

I'll share some red with you if you can manage a small one....

 

[rida]

I hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel very soon hon

Limbo is a shit state to be in

I'll share some red with you if you can manage a small one....

Thanks for the red

Reality is not that bad ... yet. Cushion is good.

What I honestly dread the most is having to explain the situation and that I'm ok with it to people (aka family) that I know are only going to be full of good judgmental advices (because they love me, of course) when all I really need is either a hand or that they keep their opinion to themselves. I need to be a grown up ... lol

 

[minx1]

didn't get that job

 

[minx1]

ok...*note to self * don't panic!

am having one of those times when I am questioning choices and being here.
I hate the thought of making the wrong one and missing out on the people who love me because of a bad judgement.

I will no doubt be ok by tomorrow or the day after

Its only uncertainity and insecurity that ever makes me question this and I know that is why I am feeling it now.

 

[ultramarineblue]

ok...*note to self * don't panic!

am having one of those times when I am questioning choices and being here.
I hate the thought of making the wrong one and missing out on the people who love me because of a bad judgement.

I will no doubt be ok by tomorrow or the day after

Its only uncertainity and insecurity that ever makes me question this and I know that is why I am feeling it now.

I completely understand what you're going through. I second guess myself so much sometimes.

You can tell yourself that it's going to be ok but it still doesn't really help while you're in the middle of it, does it?

 

[minx1]

I completely understand what you're going through. I second guess myself so much sometimes.

You can tell yourself that it's going to be ok but it still doesn't really help while you're in the middle of it, does it?

Yeah it all just becomes a blur of panic! lol

I find it difficult to separate the things that I should really be bothered about from insignificant stuff when I am in that frame of mind .......so everything becomes huge

bite size chunks

One of my worst fears is making poor judgements and wrong decisions.

I also seem to be worrying about things I have no control over, like death and stuff....blimey...is that morbid?? *laugh* why am I asking that?? Of course it bloody is!

Not necesarily mine....more the people I love. I think I recall reading once that a lot of women my age think about it a lot. Maybe its worse cos I'm away from home

Thanks for the red

Reality is not that bad ... yet. Cushion is good.

What I honestly dread the most is having to explain the situation and that I'm ok with it to people (aka family) that I know are only going to be full of good judgmental advices (because they love me, of course) when all I really need is either a hand or that they keep their opinion to themselves. I need to be a grown up ... lol

*hugs* I hope you are doing ok hon and I know exactly what you mean...sometimes support is the order of the day without the words of 'wisdom'

 

[minx1]

*grins* So an ex of mine and I shared a bit of a lightbulb moment yesterday.

We went out, over a couple of years or so, though not particularly seriously as it was literally right after my divorce and after his own split...so neither of us were in a great place.

But we have remained close and chat regularly via email. We are quite good friends now and he has been very supportive of me.

anyway we were in the middle of an email exchange...about nothing sexual at all. But something in the way he was 'saying'' things resonated with me. I kinda recognised the manner...and i honestly hadn't before.

I emailed....

Me: so just a random question Mr, might seem a bit leftfield....but have you ever identified with being a Dominant?

Him: Yes. And would you tend to say you are submissive?

Me: Um, yes as it happens. Very much.

Both of us: pause

I could almost visualise lighbulbs going on simultaneously on two continents! *laugh*