what doesn't kill us.....blah blah blah

[minx1]

Blimey, lots happening at the moment.

I am in the process of jacking my job in. Possibly not the best idea I have ever had since my visa relies in it, but I have standards and one of them is not to be shafted by my boss.

So am going with the courage of my convictions, crossing my fingers very tightly and hoping everything works out.
I hate living by the seat of my pants but sometimes its the only real option eh

I am doing a short course at a local college at the moment and hoping that might lead me to something viable.

Only problem is the time limit is really tight. Once I resign i have only 4 weeks to get another visa.

That according to immigration is 28 days to find another sponsor, another visa like a studying visa or a bloke.

Mmmm.

 

[Aquila1]

Blimey, lots happening at the moment.

I am in the process of jacking my job in. Possibly not the best idea I have ever had since my visa relies in it, but I have standards and one of them is not to be shafted by my boss.

So am going with the courage of my convictions, crossing my fingers very tightly and hoping everything works out.
I hate living by the seat of my pants but sometimes its the only real option eh

I am doing a short course at a local college at the moment and hoping that might lead me to something viable.

Only problem is the time limit is really tight. Once I resign i have only 4 weeks to get another visa.

That according to immigration is 28 days to find another sponsor, another visa like a studying visa or a bloke.

Mmmm.

Do it Do it Do it. you know, a few years ago when I was in a job I hated, I made the crazy decision to resign because it was making me so unhappy. I had no job lined up to go into, and just had to just trust that something else would come along....and it did. I doubt I would be running my own business now if I hadn't taken that risk.
Around the same time, a very dear and wise friend said the following to me:

Sometimes you have to clear and make room in your life for the new stuff that is waiting to come into it, because it can't start until you do.

Made sense to me at the time

 

[minx1]

Do it Do it Do it. you know, a few years ago when I was in a job I hated, I made the crazy decision to resign because it was making me so unhappy. I had no job lined up to go into, and just had to just trust that something else would come along....and it did. I doubt I would be running my own business now if I hadn't taken that risk.
Around the same time, a very dear and wise friend said the following to me:

Sometimes you have to clear and make room in your life for the new stuff that is waiting to come into it, because it can't start until you do.

Made sense to me at the time

*grin* Yes! This makes so much sense to me. It's scary but a necessity I think.

I actually really loved the field I work in. I have been doing it for a long time and its more of a vocation than work. I truly believe in it. BUT, I havent been happy where I am for a while now and the recent actions of my boss have accelerated my decision to leave.

Its a challenge and now my panic is subsiding somewhat I am ready for it

 

[rida]

Holla!

Thanks for the up-date!
And good for you for sticking to your standards. Life is already full of compromises that there is no need to overdue them

Keeping my finger crossed and sending you quick new-visa vibes ~~~~>
(would something like a green-card marriage do??? )

 

[minx1]

Holla!

Thanks for the up-date!
And good for you for sticking to your standards. Life is already full of compromises that there is no need to overdue them

Keeping my finger crossed and sending you quick new-visa vibes ~~~~>
(would something like a green-card marriage do??? )

*laugh* I completely agree aboutthe compromises....a girl can make too many eh Rida!

Lol and Yes, on the visa front I will consider anything!

I am desperate!!!

Hows things with you hon?

 

[rida]

*laugh* I completely agree aboutthe compromises....a girl can make too many eh Rida!

Lol and Yes, on the visa front I will consider anything!

I am desperate!!!

Hows things with you hon?

Can you enroll in a school and get a student visa that way?

As for the situation here, I just got over an obnoxious cold, discovered that I have a uterine fibroid (TMI I know, lol!), and starting to realize that you cannot squeeze stuff that barely fits in two apartment into a single one ...
But I'm refusing to worry any further down the future but up to the end of 2009 when the move will have to be completed. (ok, not true, I started running a forecast and budgeting for next year and trying not to let it get to me )

 

[minx1]

Can you enroll in a school and get a student visa that way?

As for the situation here, I just got over an obnoxious cold, discovered that I have a uterine fibroid (TMI I know, lol!), and starting to realize that you cannot squeeze stuff that barely fits in two apartment into a single one ...
But I'm refusing to worry any further down the future but up to the end of 2009 when the move will have to be completed. (ok, not true, I started running a forecast and budgeting for next year and trying not to let it get to me )

awwww! *huge hugs* poor you hon!

I do hope you are feeling better

Where are you moving to? Is it just nearby?

I have lots of those kind of worries too lol and like you are trying my best not to.
As of next week I will not be able to pay any bills or my mortgage so I need to put some sort of plan into action and quickly. I dont have any income coming in at the moment.

I havent had a cold or fibroids but I have had unexplained swelling of the lymph nodes. Yay.

Bloods have come back ok...but I have to monitor them and make sure they go down

 

[rida]

awwww! *huge hugs* poor you hon!

I do hope you are feeling better

Where are you moving to? Is it just nearby?

I have lots of those kind of worries too lol and like you are trying my best not to.
As of next week I will not be able to pay any bills or my mortgage so I need to put some sort of plan into action and quickly. I dont have any income coming in at the moment.

I havent had a cold or fibroids but I have had unexplained swelling of the lymph nodes. Yay.

Bloods have come back ok...but I have to monitor them and make sure they go down

Thanks, got better
We are just moving upstairs so it is not a huge distance. The problem is all the piled up stuff that I'll need to go through and junk. We are a family that keeps things around because we have to think if we need them or not ... and end up staying wherever they landed the first time forever

And many many hugs and good vibes to you! It sounds like you need them way more than I do. Do you have anybody that can help you out for a while? Do you get any unemployment?

And also healing vibes for your lymph nodes not to swell anymore!

 

[Bandit58]

Do you get any unemployment?

rida I'm only guessing but I think because minx is in Australia on a work visa and she's not a permanent resident she won't qualify for unemployment benefits.

I receive a carer's payment because of a social security agreement between Australia and NZ, but if anything happens to Sir my payment will stop. I'm not a permanent resident but I can live and work here. When I'm 65 I will qualify for age pension, but there are a lot of years between 51 and 65 when I'll have to support myself

I want to apply for residency but there's so much red tape involved and the cost is more than $2500AU....and illegal asylum seekers on boats get residency and welfare payments/housing handed to them on a plate - makes me mad

 

[girlofurdreams]

just saying hi seeing i'm in here...... don't have anything remarkable to write, but would hate to snub you during this rare visit.


hope all is well x

 

[minx1]

just saying hi seeing i'm in here...... don't have anything remarkable to write, but would hate to snub you during this rare visit.


hope all is well x

awww hi hon *huge hugs*

Hope you are doing ok. Thanks for popping in and saying hello.We miss you round these parts !

 

[minx1]

Just a quick update.

After a few weeks of huge stresses, I feel better today

Not sure why...maybe i have just got my head round it all.

not sure whats happening on the visa front still. my work visa is due to expire on monday/tuesday...though i dont think immigration will kicj me out right at that point! I hope not...I havent packed!

I havent had any income at all for weeks and bandit is right...I dont qualify for benefits...but good things can come out of bad times.
I have been able to apply for finanicial aid and a grant to cover my untility bills, my mortgage company has given me a three months holiday and friends have had collections...which has enabled me to buy food.

I laughed the other day. it wasnt funny at the time...far from it..but it is so typically me *laugh*

I hadread the wrong immigration form and spent three weeks of the four they give you to find an alternative employer...training, passing exams and securing a new sponser...only to discover that this typ of work isnt covered on my visa! FFS *snort*

Still these things are sent to try us.

It has been a very difficult time in all honesty, but I am not throwing in the towel. I spent the otherday sending out my cv to all andsundry and got some really positive responses. I am hopeful that I could secure new work in the first half of next year.
In the interim my only real option is to get a student visa...which is way expensive ($6000 for first 6 months), but enables me to work. I have managed to borrow the money, but this is really a last straw.
So currently I am just holding out til the 11th hour. i am meeting someone next week re jobs. So fingers crossed there.

On a positive note, my friends have amazed me with the level of their support...both emotional and financial. I am very lucky.

My mum is due out in just over a week and hell I am soooooooo excited. I havent seen her for a year!

Today was a good day. I have had a few really bad ones and spent a lot of time crying. Its quite scarey...I didnt want to lose my house and have to leave a country that has become my home. But today I am ok and looking forward.

Things have a way of working out I think...if you are lucky.

Oh and btw still have unexplicable swollen gland (though in the singular not not plural). blood tests clear so hoping it was just an infection and its taking a while to go down. have to give it a couple more weeks and then report back to the docs.

Hope everyone is well.

Sorry I havent been around much to chat, but I know you know what been happening and understand.

Stop by and share a glass of something with me when you get chance

 

[Bandit58]

Minxie BIG HUGS from the east coast from us both, and all things crossed that everything works out as you hope

Bit early to start drinking yet but will have a vodka and Solo lemon/lime with ice for ya tonight

 

[minx1]

Minxie BIG HUGS from the east coast from us both, and all things crossed that everything works out as you hope

Bit early to start drinking yet but will have a vodka and Solo lemon/lime with ice for ya tonight

mmmm, YUM! That sounds nice bandit and thankyou for the hugs!

Please pass my best on to Gil.

Hope you are feeling better too

 

[ultramarineblue]

I really hope everything works out for you to stay there permanently if you wish. Uncertainty is very nervewracking. For me, it's really hard to let go of worrying over things at times. It always amazes me how things have a way of working out.

 

[RawHumor]

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

[rida]

Happy Valentine's Day!

Second that!

 

[minx1]

Hey guys,

Sorry for bumping this old thread, I had intended to let it die but I need somewhere to go right now and this seemed better than clogging up the forum with tales of woe. At least this way those who want to ignore it can.

I'm having a really hard time. I dont appear to be feeling any better; I see little improvements but they dont last long. Truth is this has affected me really badly, moreso than my divorce for some stupid reason. The doctor says I am suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome after what's happened.

I'm just still so confused by it all, I think thats why it crowds up my head space all the time. I go over and over everything in my head and things like the court scene seems to play on a never ending loop.

You know what I find the hardest. I know you will think it's stupid but its the truth; its the no contact. I have to say I think its one of the most cruellest things that you could do to a person.
That and the fact that everytime I step outside my home now I feel like a criminal. They have the victim status whilst I am branded as some bad, violent person'; the type you should be scared of and intimidated by.

I dont know how to do this.

 

[the captians wench]

Minxi, hun, I don't know all the dirty details, but I can relate to how you feel.

I went through something simular after breaking free from "master asshole". It takes time, but eventually the feelings fade. I still have relapses, a memory will pop in my head out of no where, and I'll spend the day checking behind furniture before I enter a room.

You can always pm me if you need to talk.

 

[minx1]

Minxi, hun, I don't know all the dirty details, but I can relate to how you feel.

I went through something simular after breaking free from "master asshole". It takes time, but eventually the feelings fade. I still have relapses, a memory will pop in my head out of no where, and I'll spend the day checking behind furniture before I enter a room.

You can always pm me if you need to talk.

Thankyou chick, I appreciate that.

I'm just really struggling eh.

I am so angry that he has taken away my ability to ask why. Thats the worst part of all.

But thanks for your offer honey x

 

[YourCaptor]

Hey guys,

Sorry for bumping this old thread, I had intended to let it die but I need somewhere to go right now and this seemed better than clogging up the forum with tales of woe. At least this way those who want to ignore it can.

I'm having a really hard time. I dont appear to be feeling any better; I see little improvements but they dont last long. Truth is this has affected me really badly, moreso than my divorce for some stupid reason. The doctor says I am suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome after what's happened.

I'm just still so confused by it all, I think thats why it crowds up my head space all the time. I go over and over everything in my head and things like the court scene seems to play on a never ending loop.

You know what I find the hardest. I know you will think it's stupid but its the truth; its the no contact. I have to say I think its one of the most cruellest things that you could do to a person.
That and the fact that everytime I step outside my home now I feel like a criminal. They have the victim status whilst I am branded as some bad, violent person'; the type you should be scared of and intimidated by.

I dont know how to do this.

Don't worry it will happen.

Are you still crying about it? Or is it a different kind of stress now.

And I don't see why you feel different now when you leave the house, you've always been a bad girl, that's why everyone loves you.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Minx
I too do not know the details.. but I am here for you if you so wish.. IM a PM away... Keep your chin up... and KNOW you are loved around the world.

Hey guys,

Sorry for bumping this old thread, I had intended to let it die but I need somewhere to go right now and this seemed better than clogging up the forum with tales of woe. At least this way those who want to ignore it can.

I'm having a really hard time. I dont appear to be feeling any better; I see little improvements but they dont last long. Truth is this has affected me really badly, moreso than my divorce for some stupid reason. The doctor says I am suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome after what's happened.

I'm just still so confused by it all, I think thats why it crowds up my head space all the time. I go over and over everything in my head and things like the court scene seems to play on a never ending loop.

You know what I find the hardest. I know you will think it's stupid but its the truth; its the no contact. I have to say I think its one of the most cruellest things that you could do to a person.
That and the fact that everytime I step outside my home now I feel like a criminal. They have the victim status whilst I am branded as some bad, violent person'; the type you should be scared of and intimidated by.

I dont know how to do this.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Don't think I know the right words that would make you feel better, but I can do this at least..

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i15/stumble_photos/HUGS.gif

Just because.


Hope you feel better soon, Minxie!

 

[intothewoods]

I think you'll probably feel like one step forward, two back, for a little while, but eventually you will get over it. It's not like this was just a break up. You had to deal with a court case, and having details of your private life made public.

Hang in there, minx.

 

[minx1]

Don't worry it will happen.

Are you still crying about it? Or is it a different kind of stress now.

And I don't see why you feel different now when you leave the house, you've always been a bad girl, that's why everyone loves you.

Thanks YC.

I feel different because of the undertaking I ended up agreeing to, to keep away. I hate that I went down that route. I should have fought against it, but I was (am still) in a bad place emotionally.

Yes, I am still crying about it. I am right now actually and I did yesterday (at work lol) and the day before......I think you get the picture.

That is my biggest stress. Its just the no contact that has caused me the biggest amount of hurt and pain because as I see it its prevented me from having 'closure'. The court scene well I replay it over and over just as I do everything. He said things in the paperwork I have that hurt beyond belief, like how he had been trying to end things with me for ages but he was too frightened too. So you see, everything like that makes me question everything. I question if he ever loved me and what our relationship meant to him and if the last four years of my life and what I thought they were, were actually a figment of my imagination.
None of it makes sense. When I could have left he asked me to find ways to stay, no break it off. He told me he chose me, that he wanted to be with me and we talked about futures. But now I spend all my waking hours analysing what was said and what was actually meant.

I have other stresses, like money, my visa, my emotional well being but they all fade in comnparison.

I wonder how he could do this to someone he professed to love. How could anyone just cut them out so brutally after they have moved so far to be with you, serve you? I couldnt.

Minx
I too do not know the details.. but I am here for you if you so wish.. IM a PM away... Keep your chin up... and KNOW you are loved around the world.

Thankyou honey. I am so glad things seem to have worked out for you and you are happy

Don't think I know the right words that would make you feel better, but I can do this at least..

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i15/stumble_photos/HUGS.gif

Just because.


Hope you feel better soon, Minxie!

Thankyou chick, that means a lot

I think you'll probably feel like one step forward, two back, for a little while, but eventually you will get over it. It's not like this was just a break up. You had to deal with a court case, and having details of your private life made public.

Hang in there, minx.

Thanks itw.

You hit the nail on the head; it feels exactly like that.

I hope I will get over this and I do without any hangups. It just feels like I am so faraway from being over it. It seems he was able to do that much more easily than me.

I hope I do, because I would like to be loved and I have a lot of love to give. Well I did. I hope I can still dare to show it in the future.

I feel like I've hqd the shit kicked out of me