What kicks you out of a story.

[onehitwanda]

Who is she, BTW. Asking for a friend.

Em

Kate Upton.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Kate Upton.

Oh. I know her. Can we share ?

Em

 

[friendlyoldman]

It may sound weird on an erotic website but for me it's over when there's too much sex in the story, or when sex appears already in the first paragraphs. I like to read how it finally comes to sex. And then of course a good description of it is welcome

 

[onehitwanda]

Oh. I know her. Can we share ?

Em

You can have all of her; Kate Winslet is an exacting mistress.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You can have all of her; Kate Winslet is an exacting mistress.

I find her breasts a little intimidating. Upton not Winslett.

Em

 

[lovecraft68]

The letters BTB will ensure I won't click on it. I really don't want to have get sprayed down with sanitizer

 

[ColinPiper]

I read one that referred to cum as "dick snot," does that count?

Me: Um, I know this is kinda kinky, but would it be okay if I came on your face?
GF: Sure...
Me: (*in my head* Yessss!!!)
GF: ... and the next time I have a bad cold, would it be okay if I blew my nose on your face?
Me: Eeeewwwwww!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Me: Um, I know this is kinda kinky, but would it be okay if I came on your face?
GF: Sure...
Me: (*in my head* Yessss!!!)
GF: ... and the next time I have a bad cold, would it be okay if I blew my nose on your face?
Me: Eeeewwwwww!

I so do not get this comparison. Biologically or experientially.

Em

 

[MajorRewrite]

I read one that referred to cum as "dick snot," does that count?

I used the term “dick snot” one time in my first story! I thought it was funny; readers did not. One commenter wrote:

”if you ever refer to ejaculate as 'dick snot' again I will hunt you down and take a sledgehammer to your keyboard”



But that story now has 3.5 million views, so the lesson is “dick snot” attracts readers like bees to honey. Obviously.

 

[friendlyoldman]

I used the term “dick snot” one time in my first story! I thought it was funny; readers did not. One commenter wrote:

”if you ever refer to ejaculate as 'dick snot' again I will hunt you down and take a sledgehammer to your keyboard”



But that story now has 3.5 million views, so the lesson is “dick snot” attracts readers like bees to honey. Obviously.

Everybody with a tv knows that quality is the worst way to get viewers

 

[ElectricBlue]

Confused - is this an inside joke I'm not getting? About summer break?

There's an endless number of stories that begin that way, and you know it's going to be a nineteen year old's story of finally getting it off with Janey, or their mom or sis, after being away from home for the first time. It's such an unimaginative way to start a story, but many writers seem to think it's dramatic.

 

[AchtungNight]

Some pet peeves of mine:

- Sloppy world building. Two of my pet peeves are 20-year old (as in "created 20 years ago and kept as a fuck toy) vampires with the wealth of a small country or a secret society of rare, mythical futanari - and the strip club down by the corner has nothing but said dickgirls working the poles. Great if that's your kink, but stick to one or the other.

For the record I’m not into futunari. They’ll never be in my stories. I know there’s at least one young man in my stories who has more wealth than many small countries you could name, but he’s not a vampire or immortal. Plus his backstory is well-written- Google David Xanatos and let me know if you disagree.

As for characters that look exactly like celebrities, all the celebrities in my stories are impersonated- poorly- by parallel universe versions of the celebrities they resemble. Those versions are the ones into the crazy erotic acts.

I’m not going to list how I get around everyone’s rejection issues, but trust me, I have ways. Hope they’re accepted.

 

[djrip]

I used the term “dick snot” one time in my first story! I thought it was funny; readers did not. One commenter wrote:

”if you ever refer to ejaculate as 'dick snot' again I will hunt you down and take a sledgehammer to your keyboard”



But that story now has 3.5 million views, so the lesson is “dick snot” attracts readers like bees to honey. Obviously.

That was it! I didn't remember where I saw it

 

[Britva415]

I'll nope out if you write "dicksnot" as two words.

 

[Britva415]

Just kidding. In all seriousness, add everything from here: https://forum.literotica.com/threads/i-will-never-read-your-story-if….1591615/

I wrote about the cringiness of bad dialogue where a character says "so very." I don't get why anyone defended it but they did. Pretending like there's anyone who talks that way. Hypothetically there is a kind of story it can work in, but none of the stories I've ever seen it in are that kind of story.

 

[Britva415]

Because I fucking say it. Out loud. To people. Usually when heavy sarcasm is implied as in: "You are so very kind, thank you for explaining how my natural speech pattern doesn't exist."

Right. Heavy sarcasm is so well placed in the middle of sex.

 

[dmallord]

Run-on sex scenes [similar to run-on sentences] that flow forever until my mind screams, 'Come on, already ... just cum!'

 

[KachinaDoll]

Dick snot?

Um... an admission - when I was nineteen, on our third date, I decided to give my boyfriend who is now my husband a blow job. It wasn't my first, but I'd already decided that he was a keeper so, unlike the others, I was going to let him come in my mouth. I thought I knew what to expect. I'd watched porn. I'd let him come, keep my lips sealed around his cock, slide him out of my mouth, show him the pool of semen and swallow. It might taste yuck but I really wanted to please him. Easy peasy. Trouble was, we'd been making out for nearly an hour and the blowie was the final part. He'd been teetering on the edge for a while. I hadn't anticipated how powerful his spurts would be. I gagged and two lines of semen shot out of my nose. Does that count as dick snot?

 

[joy_of_cooking]

two lines of semen shot out of my nose.

I need to unread that.

Or write it into a story.

Please, can you give me all the details you remember?

 

[StillStunned]

Dick Snot, a great name for an obnoxious young antagonist.

 

[lovecraft68]

I have backed out of stories for this nearly exact thing. Recently... a few of them. Olive Oyl don't get me going.

I fell under the porn industry trope of if the character is a young girl small breasts are fine, if the character is an older woman I feel they should be busty. In the couples/teens vids or the cougar/kitten vids often times that's the case, busty milf, small chested young girl...

But I realized I was buying into that and how specifically the actors were cast because there are plenty of young porn stars with large breasts. I write a few milf/mom characters with slender builds and smaller breasts and never had a complaint...but I suppose if someone clicked off a story because of it I wouldn't know.

 

[lovecraft68]

Dick Snot, a great name for an obnoxious young antagonist.

That's snot funny.

Sorry, I had to.

But I think it would be a great name for a politician, its pretty much what most of them are anyway.

 

[sapphyrix]

yall would hate my writing. i hate realism i want everything to indulge all the fantasies no matter how unrealistic it gets

i agree though with the people who said NUMBERS!!!!
describe cocks as big or thick or average or tiny, figures as slim or strong or curvy, tits as big and bouncy or small and perky, to your liking.
but ffs don't list lengths, weights, bra sizes!!! it takes me out of the story so fucking fast, and usually the people who do it like... don't even choose numbers that make sense. esp dudes that don't get how bra sizes go
when numbers are involved it's usually like a woman described as big tits big ass hourglass but weighs like allegedly 110 or something, or someone who thinks DD is the pinnacle of big boobs.

 

[TadOverdon]

This is weird and specific: characters who say "shit" during sex.

I'm so prissy.

 

[SimonDoom]

Dick snot?

Um... an admission - when I was nineteen, on our third date, I decided to give my boyfriend who is now my husband a blow job. It wasn't my first, but I'd already decided that he was a keeper so, unlike the others, I was going to let him come in my mouth. I thought I knew what to expect. I'd watched porn. I'd let him come, keep my lips sealed around his cock, slide him out of my mouth, show him the pool of semen and swallow. It might taste yuck but I really wanted to please him. Easy peasy. Trouble was, we'd been making out for nearly an hour and the blowie was the final part. He'd been teetering on the edge for a while. I hadn't anticipated how powerful his spurts would be. I gagged and two lines of semen shot out of my nose. Does that count as dick snot?

This deserves full story treatment. Titled "Dick Snot" of course. It can't kick somebody out of the story if it happens at the end.