What should qualify you for Sainthood?

[ABSTRUSE]

Sorry, saw "Abstruse" and "restraint," and that got me thinkin' of sumphin' else. What was this thread about again?

I want to squeeze you now.........mmmmmmmmmmm.

 

[Guest]

Bobble heads of me will be on sale in the lobby 3/01/05...preorder today.

i get a free one, right?
my plastic je`sus needs a companion. so, what do you say, mary?

 

[Evil Alpaca]

i get a free one, right?
my plastic je`sus needs a companion. so, what do you say, mary?

I'm gonna order a "Buddy Christ" from the View Askew website. That should go over well in the South, shouldn't it?

 

[Guest]

I'm gonna order a "Buddy Christ" from the View Askew website. That should go over well in the South, shouldn't it?

i almost bought a jesus action figure yesterday.
but right next to it was a freud action figure and it got me to thinking...
if i buy a jesus action figure, would that mean i have a thing for father figures?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

i get a free one, right?
my plastic je`sus needs a companion. so, what do you say, mary?

You also get one, life sized for the front yard...impress the neighbors and give the birds a place to crap.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

i almost bought a jesus action figure yesterday.
but right next to it was a freud action figure and it got me to thinking...
if i buy a jesus action figure, would that mean i have a thing for father figures?

I dunno. Who's yer daddy?

(I HAD to say that!)
(P.s. Hate Freud.)

Edited to add:

In the words of Ray Stevens, "Would Jesus wear a Rolex on his television show?"

 

[Guest]

You also get one, life sized for the front yard...impress the neighbors and give the birds a place to crap.

AWESOME! I Have just the perfect half bathtub to put it in.. ill paint the inside of it blue and sink it into the ground as your alter. hey! you dont have a thing against pink flamingos and used tire planters do ya?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

AWESOME! I Have just the perfect half bathtub to put it in.. ill paint the inside of it blue and sink it into the ground as your alter. hey! you dont have a thing against pink flamingos and used tire planters do ya?

OMG........that would be a dream come true, can you make it look like I'm feeding the flamingos???

 

[Honey123]

I think I should be sainted because I have a good heart with good intentions - it's just everyone else that sucks and I have to take up their slack...

 

[Guest]

I think I should be sainted because I have a good heart with good intentions - it's just everyone else that sucks and I have to take up their slack...

'good intentions pave the way to hell.'
where did that one come from... i cant member. hrmf i think Saint Evil alpaca is doing things to me.

i can not, in good conscience, dub you a saint for that. however, i can dub ya knightress... will that do?


i dub thee, Honey, Knightress of good intent, keeper of the honey pot and protectress of magnanimity.

 

[Honey123]

'good intentions pave the way to hell.'
where did that one come from... i cant member. hrmf i think Saint Evil alpaca is doing things to me.

i can not, in good conscience, dub you a saint for that. however, i can dub ya knightress... will that do?


i dub thee, Honey, Knightress of good intent, keeper of the honey pot and protectress of magnanimity.

Sure..thanks..never thought there was a place in heaven for me anyway....but, hell, I do have royality in my blood.

So I accept the Knightressing and bow before you so you can hit me over the head with your staff --

 

[Guest]

Sure..thanks..never thought there was a place in heaven for me anyway....but, hell, I do have royality in my blood.

So I accept the Knightressing and bow before you so you can hit me over the head with your staff --

its really a double headed, gilded dildo, pretending to be a scepter.
i don't hit, but rather... caress.

 

[Honey123]

its really a double headed, gilded dildo, pretending to be a scepter.
i don't hit, but rather... caress.

Well, then in that case....shall I lay down?

 

[Guest]

Well, then in that case....shall I lay down?

no, thats too misionary.
kneeling is fine much more interesting.

 

[Honey123]

no, thats too misionary.
kneeling is fine much more interesting.

 

[cloudy]

no, thats too misionary.
kneeling is fine much more interesting.

How come I didn't get caressed when I got my saintliness?????

 

[Honey123]

How come I didn't get caressed when I got my saintliness?????

Because you're a Saint and I am a Knightress...

 

[Guest]

How come I didn't get caressed when I got my saintliness?????

if i thought you wouldnt scalp me, you would have been you sumptous squaw!*grin*

 

[Blackie Malone]

if i thought you wouldnt scalp me, you would have been you sumptous squaw!*grin*

nice save.

 

[Guest]

nice save.

anyway, shes got that dragon saint to caress her. something tells me shed prefer that.

 

[cloudy]

anyway, shes got that dragon saint to caress her. something tells me shed prefer that.

Hey, caressing is caressing, ya know?

 

[brightlyiburn]

DONE!
i dub thee, brightlyiburn, Saint of all things philanthropic, altruistic, and mollycoddling. go forth and spread kindness!

Oh, I dunno about the mollycoddling part. I prefer using tough love

 

[impressive]

Hmmmmm ... let's see.

I should be canonized because I lead the charge against tyranny and injustice (and I give terrific head).

 

[Belegon]

Hmmmmm ... let's see.

I should be canonized because I lead the charge against tyranny and injustice (and I give terrific head).

I think we should appoint a committee to assess the truth of Ms. Impressive's claims. I suggest Belegon lead the delegation. Any one else up for the challenge?

 

[impressive]

I think we should appoint a committee to assess the truth of Ms. Impressive's claims. I suggest Belegon lead the delegation. Any one else up for the challenge?

I predict a year-long study with tests (at least) daily. Venues (indoors, outside, movie theaters, restaurants, taxis, airplanes, etc.) and props (ice, marshmallow cream, chocolate, grapes , cock rings, Altoids, etc.) vary.

Hey! No one else had to prove their worth!