What's your take?

[beachbaby179]

Nothing like live video chat to remove any doubts about looks and dated pics. Just like talking face to face with same ability to get naked and play if they want. Only thing left after that is physical contact to finalize it all. If two people are serious about hooking up, on line makes it easier with busy lives and lifestyles to stay in contact during the day. It can't ever replace RL in terms of true intimate relationship, but as some say, it's easier to open up in the comfort and privacy of your own space, instead of face to face.

Absolutely. What he said. But video chat terrifies me as well. I have to know someone really well (or at least think I do) to voice chat, never mind video chat. I know. I'm a pain in the ass. Not really - just incredibly shy. Having said that, when I'm getting to know someone, there's no holding back. Ask me anything - if I don't answer it's just cuz I'm not ready.

 

[IhateClowns]

First, a big thanks to those that took the time to respond so far. Not only have the responses been interesting, but the banter has been fun as well. So let's change it up a bit. Since Iceprincess called me out for discussing a topic I couldn't fully relate to, I figured we could discuss one that hits close to me.

What's your take on:

Phobias

My name pretty much says it all. Clowns are creepy as hell. I'm also afraid of heights, which is ironic since I am 6'5. The thing though is that I think it is more me being afraid than an actual phobia because they don't paralyze me. I can get on a ladder, well ok a step stool, and as you can see I can get close to a clown. I just find them to be creepy. Any adult who dresses up in make up and wacky clothes to make themselves anonymous, then hang out with kids all day is fucking creepy.

I'm not sure if phobias themselves are more man made than a reality. Do those that suffer these fears, suffer them because they're legit, or because there is a word like arachnophobia, so the person must have it since they don't like spiders?

I watched Tyra Banks lose her shit because of Dolphins if I remember correctly. Dolphins????? When are you around Dolphins enough to be classified as having a phobia?

I find the mind and the tricks that it plays very fascinating to me.

 

[BlackCashmere]

I have an immense fear of flying, especially international flying...

I actually live abroad In Asia...I grew up in USA and spend a lot of time here for personal reasons, so I have to vacillate back and forth often...I am terrified of international flights, so much so that I literally can get hives sometimes...and always I do have to have some type of sedative medication before or during...I have always been this way...

For me it is about a 28-30 hour journey one way ( including layovers ) and which includes 3 plane changes...The thought of being over the ocean for that long is most scary...I honestly wouldnt mind if I crashed on land as it would be instant death...But the thought of going down and being submerged in water terrifies me...Oddly enough, I love to swim and be near water...For me its the unnatural fear of being trapped in something submerged and cannot get out...Also just dread the long periods of great turbulence, which is always present on these international flights...just horrific for me...

I don't know how or when this started...I do think though that this somewhat contributed in at least a small way---a group of 4 friends of mine in college were driving at night one night and took a wrong turn and their suv went down in to the river and was submerged and they died...that still haunts me...and also the fact that so many planes have gone down in the last couple of years internationally, especially the still missing plane that went down from Malaysia last year ... thats SO haunting as well and creepy to me...

Crazy the things that scare us...

 

[suckonsimon]

...But the thought of going down and being submerged in water terrifies me...

Lovely BC, I think you'll appreciate this tale:

Several years back my wife and I traveled by North Sea ferry from Newcastle for a long weekend in Amsterdam and then the return ferry trip. I'm fine in any kind of boat but she was a tad nervous but coping. Until ... we thought we watch a movie in the ship'c cinema which she was alarmed to discover was in the very bowels of the vessel and obviously below the water line by the shape of the 'walls' either side of us. We did not know anything about the movie, the then newly released Tom Hanks "Castaway" .... !!!! To watch that crash into the ocean and the water gushing up the length of the plane's hold while seated thirty foot under the angry waves of the North Sea - I got seriously gripped by the trembling woman beside me!

 

[BlackCashmere]

Lovely BC, I think you'll appreciate this tale:

Several years back my wife and I traveled by North Sea ferry from Newcastle for a long weekend in Amsterdam and then the return ferry trip. I'm fine in any kind of boat but she was a tad nervous but coping. Until ... we thought we watch a movie in the ship'c cinema which she was alarmed to discover was in the very bowels of the vessel and obviously below the water line by the shape of the 'walls' either side of us. We did not know anything about the movie, the then newly released Tom Hanks "Castaway" .... !!!! To watch that crash into the ocean and the water gushing up the length of the plane's hold while seated thirty foot under the angry waves of the North Sea - I got seriously gripped by the trembling woman beside me!

Oh my!!!!...of all the movies they could have shown!!!!...seriously that was a bad judgement LOL...your poor wife-she must have been terrified for sure...It scares me just reading that scenario...luckily she had you there to calm her...ty for sharing this...

I also hate that scene in the Titanic where they are submerged under water trying to get the key to open up the gate so they can get out...ugh...

So nice to see you after a long time... your sweetness is missed when you are not here...

 

[lacandy]

I have two "phobias" if you will...

Snakes! I hate snakes! I've had this fear since I was a little girl and watched the cartoon of Riki Tiki Tavi. I was convinced that there were cobras living under my bed. The fact that I lived in Southern California didn't make a difference to me.

The other fear that I have, which isn't so much a phobia because I do it - is bridges. I am petrified to drive over bridges. I can walk over a bridge, but driving over one I have a death grip on the steering wheel and am in the middle lane. Recently I was in San Francisco for a conference and stayed outside of the city...so had to drive over the Bay Bridge twice a day every day...not my finest decision making moment

I think that a lot of fears are definitely completely in the mind and we hang on to them because of the world around us. I mean so many fears are irrational, but we keep them. I know that a bridge more than likely isn't going to collapse as I drive over it (Though in the case of the Bay Bridge, I have history to scare me ). I am a logical person (for the most part) and know that there won't be a cobra under my bed...but damn if that makes no difference to me!

For me, I have this belief that the more that I can learn about something I fear or dislike then I can change that. So I have watched all kinds of shows about snakes on Nation Geographic channel, I force myself to go into the reptile house at the zoo, I read about snakes...doesn't help! Anything that moves that fast on land without legs...nope! (PS - never going to Australia because they have like 8 of the 10 deadliest snakes in the world!)

 

[suckonsimon]

Clowns, with me it used to be cows. Started off with a trauma when I was seven, alone walking a country lane with broken hedge either side when a beef herd was driven over it from one field to the other, me suddenly in the midst of these huge beasts. Years later and we holidayed in a cottage adjoining a field with a beef herd with several bullocks. I was having trouble until ... my then thirteen year old daughter took me by the hand and got me to stroke the face of the bullock she had befriended. That was quite a moment for me as a dad.

ps BlackCashmere: the way you affirm folk on Lit is legendary. Thank you! xx

 

[coffeelady]

I don't have any phobias, in the sense of something that would paralyse me with fear. About the closest would be my intense dislike of cockroaches, centipedes or any other "crunchy" crawly thing. Whenever I have to deal with one... *shudder* But since they're not going to get dealt with if I don't do it, there's not much choice, given that once I know it's there, there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep until I know it's gone.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I have an immense fear of flying, especially international flying...

Crazy the things that scare us...

In general, long international flights suck. You seem to take it to a "phobia", and I guess that's what we mean.

I have what I call a healthy fear of heights. It really doesn't stop me from doing much, but I can't see myself skydiving, bungee jumping, or working as a high steel installer or something. But really,that's not limiting.

I have a good friend who is just terrified of water. Anything deeper than a bathtub is really tough. Needless to say, not a sailor!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I have two "phobias" if you will...

Snakes! I hate snakes! I've had this fear since I was a little girl and watched the cartoon of Riki Tiki Tavi. I was convinced that there were cobras living under my bed. The fact that I lived in Southern California didn't make a difference to me.

The other fear that I have, which isn't so much a phobia because I do it - is bridges. I am petrified to drive over bridges. I can walk over a bridge, but driving over one I have a death grip on the steering wheel and am in the middle lane. Recently I was in San Francisco for a conference and stayed outside of the city...so had to drive over the Bay Bridge twice a day every day...not my finest decision making moment

I think that a lot of fears are definitely completely in the mind and we hang on to them because of the world around us. I mean so many fears are irrational, but we keep them. I know that a bridge more than likely isn't going to collapse as I drive over it (Though in the case of the Bay Bridge, I have history to scare me ). I am a logical person (for the most part) and know that there won't be a cobra under my bed...but damn if that makes no difference to me!

For me, I have this belief that the more that I can learn about something I fear or dislike then I can change that. So I have watched all kinds of shows about snakes on Nation Geographic channel, I force myself to go into the reptile house at the zoo, I read about snakes...doesn't help! Anything that moves that fast on land without legs...nope! (PS - never going to Australia because they have like 8 of the 10 deadliest snakes in the world!)

I think my fear of snakes is close to a phobia, but not quite.

Growing up in Australia, everyone still alive has a reverent fear of snakes. Even though I'm no longer there, and I cognitively know that snakes here are "harmless", seeing one will stop me in my tracks and the fight or flight kicks in. I freaking hate the things. I've gotten better and walking past one, but I never enjoy a chance meeting with a snake.

As a kid/teenager, I struggled with Atychiphobia, which is a fear of failure. It was pretty tough, as I am a very ambitious person. Thankfully, after a nervous breakdown, I got an immense amount of help and have learnt how to deal with this. It was so bad that I would be paralyzed with indecision, and would purposefully sabotage myself to have some thing else to blame besides myself. During all of this, I was still valedictorian, a national athlete and an international ambassador. I put waaaay too much on my plate, but that is actually what kept me stimulated and so freaking scared of failing, that I succeeded, brilliantly. That being said, I don't wish this on anyone. Failure is supposed to be a part of life. We need to be able to accept defeat gracefully, and move on.

 

[jezzilee]

I don't him I have any phobias but I do have some OCD'S

First. I cannot drink out of anything that anyone else has sipped out of. If someone does drink out of my beverage it then belongs to them. This includes boyfriends. They can stick their penis or tongue in my mouth but do not drink out of my glass.

Spit makes me want to hurl. Seeing someone spit grosses me out. Not sure when this became an issue. I used to be an EMT and had every bodily fluid known to man spilled on me but now? Spits yucky

 

[lacandy]

I think my fear of snakes is close to a phobia, but not quite.

Growing up in Australia, everyone still alive has a reverent fear of snakes. Even though I'm no longer there, and I cognitively know that snakes here are "harmless", seeing one will stop me in my tracks and the fight or flight kicks in. I freaking hate the things. I've gotten better and walking past one, but I never enjoy a chance meeting with a snake.

As a kid/teenager, I struggled with Atychiphobia, which is a fear of failure. It was pretty tough, as I am a very ambitious person. Thankfully, after a nervous breakdown, I got an immense amount of help and have learnt how to deal with this. It was so bad that I would be paralyzed with indecision, and would purposefully sabotage myself to have some thing else to blame besides myself. During all of this, I was still valedictorian, a national athlete and an international ambassador. I put waaaay too much on my plate, but that is actually what kept me stimulated and so freaking scared of failing, that I succeeded, brilliantly. That being said, I don't wish this on anyone. Failure is supposed to be a part of life. We need to be able to accept defeat gracefully, and move on.

Well, I wouldn't say that snakes in the US are "harmless" there are plenty that can kill you, but nothing compared to the Aussie snakes, I agree!

And I had no idea that there was a phobia like that!! My daughter (and my son) are both being treated for "Perfectionism" which is exactly what you described, but I guess in a more positive manner - they both can't fail though. And if you read between the lines...their mom has more than likely passed that little trait on to them. Daughter is so bad that while she is so smart, and knows the answers to questions in class, she will not raise her hand just in case she might be wrong...she can't let people know she failed.

The fear (especially with girls) is that they either end up with a break down or an eating disorder...so while this is definitely a societal thing, it's very real and something very hard to deal with.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Well, I wouldn't say that snakes in the US are "harmless" there are plenty that can kill you, but nothing compared to the Aussie snakes, I agree!

And I had no idea that there was a phobia like that!! My daughter (and my son) are both being treated for "Perfectionism" which is exactly what you described, but I guess in a more positive manner - they both can't fail though. And if you read between the lines...their mom has more than likely passed that little trait on to them. Daughter is so bad that while she is so smart, and knows the answers to questions in class, she will not raise her hand just in case she might be wrong...she can't let people know she failed.

The fear (especially with girls) is that they either end up with a break down or an eating disorder...so while this is definitely a societal thing, it's very real and something very hard to deal with.

Poor thing. Her anxiety must be difficult to manage.

My breakdown, while violent and traumatic, was shaped me in to person I am today. It was actually the best thing to happen to me. Recovery was tough, but learning how to manage myself at 21 has been critical to my success so early in life.

Hang in there, mom. She'll find her way. And awesome job intervening and getting her help now. I hope she learns to live with it, channel her anxieties into positive, productive activities, and owns the fantastic mind she has.

 

[BouncyBella]

I'm curious about Anthropophobia/interpersonal relation phobia. Anyone out there with this phobia so severe that econversation is their go to way of socializing?

My apologies if this thread is only OP question directed.

 

[xxxLunaxxx]

My number one phobia is roaches. Living in Florida they are everywhere, including the huge flying ones. I seriously lose my shit. I can't even pick up dead ones. It's ridiculous to me, since I can deal with rats, snakes, spiders, etc.

I'm also not big on heights, driving across high and/or long bridges, flying, and elevators. I can deal with them if needed though.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I'm curious about Anthropophobia/interpersonal relation phobia. Anyone out there with this phobia so severe that econversation is their go to way of socializing?

My apologies if this thread is only OP question directed.

I personally don't share this phobia, but I'm sure it's rather prevalent. Akin to public speaking, having someone react to your thoughts and words in front of you can be terrifying for some.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

First, a big thanks to those that took the time to respond so far. Not only have the responses been interesting, but the banter has been fun as well. So let's change it up a bit. Since Iceprincess called me out for discussing a topic I couldn't fully relate to, I figured we could discuss one that hits close to me.

What's your take on:

Phobias

My name pretty much says it all. Clowns are creepy as hell. I'm also afraid of heights, which is ironic since I am 6'5. The thing though is that I think it is more me being afraid than an actual phobia because they don't paralyze me. I can get on a ladder, well ok a step stool, and as you can see I can get close to a clown. I just find them to be creepy. Any adult who dresses up in make up and wacky clothes to make themselves anonymous, then hang out with kids all day is fucking creepy.

I'm not sure if phobias themselves are more man made than a reality. Do those that suffer these fears, suffer them because they're legit, or because there is a word like arachnophobia, so the person must have it since they don't like spiders?

I watched Tyra Banks lose her shit because of Dolphins if I remember correctly. Dolphins????? When are you around Dolphins enough to be classified as having a phobia?

I find the mind and the tricks that it plays very fascinating to me.

Fear is a very natural and normal psychological and physiological phenomenon. It's an evolutionary byproduct from the days when we'd be eaten if we didn't stand up for ourselves. There's definitely a (very) fine line between what constitutes a healthy fear, and what errs on the side of irrational.

Phobias are complete cognitive distortions that completely affect one's life in a debilitating fashion. I'd say it is a very small portion of the population that suffers from a phobia, most of us do, however have irrational fears.

(Sorry to go all clinical on you)

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I was in a research study once .. they were looking at the potential benefits of standard communication therapy for new parents. As a part of the initial interview, they did this huge "have you ever" session where they attempted to uncover any underlying psych issues that could influence the outcome of their study.
In passing, I mentioned that I really don't use a vegetable peeler.. that it turns my stomach when I think of slicing off a layer of skin..
I really didn't mean for it to come across as an irrational fear.
To me, it made perfect sense.. I could even feel the nausea that would settle in as I looked down and saw my injured hand.. it still makes me sick.

Lo and behold.. of ALL the things I could mention.. this is the one that the doctor wanted to discuss for the next 30 minutes.

Yep.. I have the ever popular kitchen utensil phobia

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I was in a research study once .. they were looking at the potential benefits of standard communication therapy for new parents. As a part of the initial interview, they did this huge "have you ever" session where they attempted to uncover any underlying psych issues that could influence the outcome of their study.
In passing, I mentioned that I really don't use a vegetable peeler.. that it turns my stomach when I think of slicing off a layer of skin..
I really didn't mean for it to come across as an irrational fear.
To me, it made perfect sense.. I could even feel the nausea that would settle in as I looked down and saw my injured hand.. it still makes me sick.

Lo and behold.. of ALL the things I could mention.. this is the one that the doctor wanted to discuss for the next 30 minutes.

Yep.. I have the ever popular kitchen utensil phobia

Is it OK if I find this hilarious?
I do not, in any way, mean to put you down (you know that), but I've not got this picture of you having this increasingly bazaar discussion with a doctor who is just fascinated by this particular phobia....

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Is it OK if I find this hilarious?
I do not, in any way, mean to put you down (you know that), but I've not got this picture of you having this increasingly bazaar discussion with a doctor who is just fascinated by this particular phobia....

seriously.. lol.. i was like
"don't you want to talk about how my dog died.. or something..."

 

[lakesailer_mi]

seriously.. lol.. i was like
"don't you want to talk about how my dog died.. or something..."

So, out of curiosity...then do you just use a paring knife to peel potatoes etc?

And I will say, of all the phobia's (or just fears that we might have), this does not seem too serious...

 

[GiggLeGasm]

So, out of curiosity...then do you just use a paring knife to peel potatoes etc?

And I will say, of all the phobia's (or just fears that we might have), this does not seem too serious...

lol.. I'll use a peeler if I need to

 

[lakesailer_mi]

lol.. I'll use a peeler if I need to

And the doc wanted to talk about this for 30 min?!?!? I'm thinking he was attracted to you and was looking for an excuse to talk with you....

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I also avoid those high cross walks that you often find between parking garages that are on the other side of the street. I get a little dizzy.
... but I LOVED flying in a hot air balloon.

Champagne is my medication of choice for phobias.

 

[Stillstiff]

I have two "phobias" if you will...

Snakes! I hate snakes! I've had this fear since I was a little girl and watched the cartoon of Riki Tiki Tavi. I was convinced that there were cobras living under my bed. The fact that I lived in Southern California didn't make a difference to me.

The other fear that I have, which isn't so much a phobia because I do it - is bridges. I am petrified to drive over bridges. I can walk over a bridge, but driving over one I have a death grip on the steering wheel and am in the middle lane. Recently I was in San Francisco for a conference and stayed outside of the city...so had to drive over the Bay Bridge twice a day every day...not my finest decision making moment

I think that a lot of fears are definitely completely in the mind and we hang on to them because of the world around us. I mean so many fears are irrational, but we keep them. I know that a bridge more than likely isn't going to collapse as I drive over it (Though in the case of the Bay Bridge, I have history to scare me ). I am a logical person (for the most part) and know that there won't be a cobra under my bed...but damn if that makes no difference to me!

For me, I have this belief that the more that I can learn about something I fear or dislike then I can change that. So I have watched all kinds of shows about snakes on Nation Geographic channel, I force myself to go into the reptile house at the zoo, I read about snakes...doesn't help! Anything that moves that fast on land without legs...nope! (PS - never going to Australia because they have like 8 of the 10 deadliest snakes in the world!)

I understand your fear of bridges.....I want to get over them as quick as I can. If there is a middle lane that I can drive over it, I'm in it. I have tunnel vision until I get to the other side.