Where are all the men?

[satindesire]

I got the joke, but I was busy looking for ibuprofen for my headache.

When I was a kid, our generation was called the lost generation. So, they ran out of descriptive words and now we're down to just letters?

*shrugs* Good question?

 

[Netzach]

I got the joke, but I was busy looking for ibuprofen for my headache.

When I was a kid, our generation was called the lost generation. So, they ran out of descriptive words and now we're down to just letters?

To me it's funny that I'm supposedly gen X at 35, but technically Gen X refers to people 40 and even up by now. It got stretched out for some reason? If you were in college in 1990 you are gen X. If you are in college now you are Gen Y. If you were first going to college in 1992, you're faux gen X I dunno what.

 

[satindesire]

To me it's funny that I'm supposedly gen X at 35, but technically Gen X refers to people 40 and even up by now. It got stretched out for some reason? If you were in college in 1990 you are gen X. If you are in college now you are Gen Y. If you were first going to college in 1992, you're faux gen X.

faux gen X is a mouthful. Try saying that ten times fast.

 

[00Syd]

I'm so annoyed that my generation is Y instead of X. X is so much more of a badass letter than Y.

I'm not sure what the Y means. I always assumed it was some sort of comment on post-post-modernism what with it being the letter after X in a *reverse* alphabet. But that's just too vague.

 

[Homburg]

faux gen X is a mouthful. Try saying that ten times fast.

Sounds like "eugenics"

 

[DVS]

To me it's funny that I'm supposedly gen X at 35, but technically Gen X refers to people 45 and even up by now. It got stretched out for some reason?

Baby boomers were kids born after WWII, but they stretch that way up to kids born in the 60s.

As Wikipedia says, most generations are based on the shared formative experiences of its members, but the baby boomer crowd was the only time a generation had been named by the fertility rates of its members’ parents.

So, some are breaking it up into two different groups. The Baby boomers of post war kids and a later group called Generation Jones. I didn't even know about this, until I read it a few weeks back. It's suppose to include those born between the years of 1954 and 1965.

 

[DVS]

I'm so annoyed that my generation is Y instead of X. X is so much more of a badass letter than Y.

I'm not sure what the Y means. I always assumed it was some sort of comment on post-post-modernism what with it being the letter after X in a *reverse* alphabet. But that's just too vague.

From Wikipedia...
Generation Y, also known as The Millennial Generation, is a term used to describe the demographic cohort following Generation X. Its members are often referred to as "Millennials" or "Echo Boomers" . There are no precise dates for when Gen Y begins and ends. Most commentators use dates from mid 1980s to early 1990s. Members of Generation Y are primarily the offspring of Generation Jones and the Baby Boom Generation.

It might not answer your question but I'm trying.

I think Z would be next in line, but because there are no dated defining the Y crowd, they could go on and on.

 

[00Syd]

From Wikipedia...
Generation Y, also known as The Millennial Generation, is a term used to describe the demographic cohort following Generation X. Its members are often referred to as "Millennials" or "Echo Boomers" . There are no precise dates for when Gen Y begins and ends. Most commentators use dates from mid 1980s to early 1990s. Members of Generation Y are primarily the offspring of Generation Jones and the Baby Boom Generation.

It might not answer your question but I'm trying.

I think Z would be next in line, but because there are no dated defining the Y crowd, they could go on and on.

But... but... weren't Gen X kids born to baby boomers?

I always thought Gen X. was the MTV generation who were my age during the late 80s and 90s, and that Gen. Y (my generation) was the internet generation, the first truly media-saturated generation.

But, what do I know? I may have just made that up.

 

[Shankara20]

See, to me it's like - we know the changing legal climate in this country. We know the shifting standards of the legal sands on which we stand.

Actual unambiguous and obvious rape and abuse may incur no outrage at all, but date rape and gray area and he said she said can absolutely ruin a life via a night of bad judgement. I am not popular in feminist circles, in that I don't think it's your FAULT ever, but there are certain things you can do to minimize your risk. Not wearing that skirt in the dark to walk from one end of town to the other is kind of like walking on the sidewalk and not down the double line. In bed, with your pants halfway down is a bad time to re-think anything. Technically you should be able to and have the right to, but in reality it's just not really a good bet. Earth is very morally imperfect and it's where I live.

Forget morals and ethics and stick to the practical reality: my big head tells the small one:

why would you go there? WHY? Why would you possibly throw the best years of your life away for a night of unenthusiastic ass sex?

I like unenthusiastic ass sex quite a lot. Which is why I do pay the time to cultivate a relationship and an understanding. Yeah that does take a lot of freaking time to get right.

Boo to the freaking hoo. Put up or shut up, getting what you want is work.

And I don't have to worry nearly as much about the guy I'm sodomizing with a screwdriver handle going to the law over his second thoughts, but if I did, you bet your ass I'd be covering mine.

I am operating with a caffeine deficient at the moment and consequently not exactly sure I understand your point here.

I think I read here that you postulate that there might be some things a women can do to reduce the probability of being raped - and that it is good that those things are considered at times. I think I see that you are saying that even if she doesn't take those actions, it is not her fault should she then get raped. I fully agree with you here. Do I read correctly that by holding that point of view you are at odds with some in feminist circles? I would expect they hold the same view, that rape in never the victims fault.

Please, correct my misreading of your post as needed.

Does anyone wonder why so often people ask "well, what was she doing" when told of a rape? Ever wonder why we question her behavior and not his?

 

[DVS]

But... but... weren't Gen X kids born to baby boomers?

I always thought Gen X. was the MTV generation who were my age during the late 80s and 90s, and that Gen. Y (my generation) was the internet generation, the first truly media-saturated generation.

But, what do I know? I may have just made that up.

I think a generation has to have time to be born and evolve. So, Gen X were more likely Baby Boomer's kids and Gen Y are some Baby Boomer's kids as well as Generation Jones' kids.

A generation just can't start and stop. They all kind of intertwine at the edges. Although they like to define the starting and ending dates, in reality you have to have a little intermingling. But then, what do I know, either?

 

[DVS]

I am operating with a caffeine deficient at the moment and consequently not exactly sure I understand your point here.

I think I read here that you postulate that there might be some things a women can do to reduce the probability of being raped - and that it is good that those things are considered at times. I think I see that you are saying that even if she doesn't take those actions, it is not her fault should she then get raped. I fully agree with you here. Do I read correctly that by holding that point of view you are at odds with some in feminist circles? I would expect they hold the same view, that rape in never the victims fault.

Please, correct my misreading of your post as needed.

Does anyone wonder why so often people ask "well, what was she doing" when told of a rape? Ever wonder why we question her behavior and not his?

We know his behavior. He's the rapist. He had a motive and she was his victim.

I don't think rape is ever the victim's fault, but I do think that sometimes the rapist will seek out his victim by how she's dressed. This shouldn't be the victim's fault, but I do think it's possible to less likely be a victim of some rapists, by wearing less provocative clothing.

The feminist view is that anyone should be able to wear what they want, and not be victimized. I agree with this. A victim is never at fault for the rape. But if there is a type of rapist that keys in on a certain look, or a certain type of woman, it would behoove the woman to not dress that way. Maybe this is what society is saying when they say "what was she thinking, dressing like that?"

 

[intothewoods]

I thought generation y was renamed millenials.

 

[00Syd]

I thought generation y was renamed millenials.

Oh shit, when did that happen? I've been re-named!!

KHHAAAANNNN!!!

 

[DVS]

I thought generation y was renamed millenials.

Come on, people. Get with the program!

Generation Y is also known as The Millennial Generation, not renamed such. So, its members are often referred to as "Millennials" or "Echo Boomers".

 

[DVS]

Oh shit, when did that happen? I've been re-named!!

Been renamed? Sounds kind of kinky. "When I renamed her, you should have heard her scream!"

 

[Netzach]

I am operating with a caffeine deficient at the moment and consequently not exactly sure I understand your point here.

I think I read here that you postulate that there might be some things a women can do to reduce the probability of being raped - and that it is good that those things are considered at times. I think I see that you are saying that even if she doesn't take those actions, it is not her fault should she then get raped. I fully agree with you here. Do I read correctly that by holding that point of view you are at odds with some in feminist circles? I would expect they hold the same view, that rape in never the victims fault.

Please, correct my misreading of your post as needed.

Does anyone wonder why so often people ask "well, what was she doing" when told of a rape? Ever wonder why we question her behavior and not his?

I've encountered people who feel that any discussion of risk reduction or thinking about whether one should wear certain things, wander off with groups of men while drinking, go certain places at certain times if avoidable, or present certain ways *is* victim blame.

I can't control every man's behavior, there are achilles tendon severing maniacs in the world and lots of people who work normal and good until you are alone with them. However, I can make choices that decrease my risk. Which is why I ask questions about her behavior or I do see her behavior as a factor in what went wrong when things go wrong at times. Going off to the hotel room of a random and dropping your panties and then deciding no, no not so much, is like walking down the middle of the street. Cars can hit you on the sidewalk, but they're more likely to hit you thus.

 

[intothewoods]

Come on, people. Get with the program!

Generation Y is also known as The Millennial Generation, not renamed such. So, its members are often referred to as "Millennials" or "Echo Boomers".

You're right, not renamed but I had heard something about a preference for the term millenials.

This is from the Wikipedia page:

Authors William Strauss and Neil Howe have been influential in defining American generations in their book Generations: The History of America's Future, 1584 to 2069 (1991). Howe and Strauss maintain that they use the term "Millennials" in place of "Generation Y" because the members of the generation themselves coined the term, not wanting to be associated with Generation X.

 

[DVS]

You're right, not renamed but I had heard something about a preference for the term millenials.

This is from the Wikipedia page:

Well, I never understood the change in naming generations. Like the term Gen X, although it seems those born in that generation took a liking to it. But, Gen Y kids must not feel the same way about their letter. Like Syd said, X is seen as a cooler letter than Y.

So, to be different, which is what generations are suppose to be, it seems they are preferring the "Millennials" over the letter "Y". Just another way to buck the norm, I guess, to be individuals, and not just another letter.

 

[graceanne]

What about cars? Flex fuel, electric, hydrogen, hybrids galore? I tell you people, we're going too fast. It's all making my head hurt!


But, it's fun.

Dude. Deep breaths.

I got the joke, but I was busy looking for ibuprofen for my headache.

When I was a kid, our generation was called the lost generation. So, they ran out of descriptive words and now we're down to just letters?

I've heard us referred to as the 'me' generation.

The feminist view is that anyone should be able to wear what they want, and not be victimized. I agree with this. A victim is never at fault for the rape. But if there is a type of rapist that keys in on a certain look, or a certain type of woman, it would behoove the woman to not dress that way. Maybe this is what society is saying when they say "what was she thinking, dressing like that?"

I do, too. I also think that you have to take personal responsibility for yourself. If you part an expensive car in a bad neighborhood you shouldn't be surprised if it gets stolen, and if you (for instance) go walking in a bad neighborhood after dark, then don't be surprised if you get raped.

This does not make it ok, I'm not saying it does, but use your common sense (which is not all that common).

I've encountered people who feel that any discussion of risk reduction or thinking about whether one should wear certain things, wander off with groups of men while drinking, go certain places at certain times if avoidable, or present certain ways *is* victim blame.

I can't control every man's behavior, there are achilles tendon severing maniacs in the world and lots of people who work normal and good until you are alone with them. However, I can make choices that decrease my risk. Which is why I ask questions about her behavior or I do see her behavior as a factor in what went wrong when things go wrong at times. Going off to the hotel room of a random and dropping your panties and then deciding no, no not so much, is like walking down the middle of the street. Cars can hit you on the sidewalk, but they're more likely to hit you thus.

Well put.

My mom sponsored (through AA) a girl who'd been raped something like five times. Not her fault, and my mom never claimed it was, but the girl came to realize that she was subconsciously setting herself up to be raped - mostly due to abuse issues. That while each rape was truly a rape that she was putting herself in situations where she was very likely to get raped. One of the things she had to learn to do is question her choices carefully, because the human brain will search for what it knows, and will set you up to keep the norm. Humans are creatures of habit, etc.

 

[ZRT]

The 'don't blame the victim' crowd goes overboard, IMO.

I don't see it as 'never questioning HIS actions', because HIS actions are very clearly criminal.

No shit a woman should be able to get drunk at a party full of strangers, pass out in a bedroom, and expect to wake up unraped. I should be able to walk down any street in the country at any time of the night with a visible wad of hundred dollar bills sticking out of my pocket and not worry about getting mugged/murdered.

The world isn't 'right' and will never entirely be 'right'. As such, don't put yourself in vulnerable positions. This is almost never questioned in other crimes- if some guy did stroll through a bad neighborhood with a wad of cash sticking out and got killed, people would be talking Darwin award. There's no argument that the murder would be wrong, but people would highlight the fact that he stupidly put himself into a position where being assaulted and/or killed was a very strong possibility.

 

[Shankara20]

The 'don't blame the victim' crowd goes overboard, IMO.

I don't see it as 'never questioning HIS actions', because HIS actions are very clearly criminal.

But where is the discussing about what HE can do to not rape or what the community can do to reduce the likelihood HE will act?

 

[Shankara20]

The world isn't 'right' and will never entirely be 'right'. As such, don't put yourself in vulnerable positions. This is almost never questioned in other crimes- if some guy did stroll through a bad neighborhood with a wad of cash sticking out and got killed, people would be talking Darwin award. There's no argument that the murder would be wrong, but people would highlight the fact that he stupidly put himself into a position where being assaulted and/or killed was a very strong possibility.

What level of exposed female body parts = "wad of cash sticking out"? How do women learn the exact skirt length that will set off men's rape reflex so they can avoid it?

 

[Netzach]

What level of exposed female body parts = "wad of cash sticking out"? How do women learn the exact skirt length that will set off men's rape reflex so they can avoid it?

I think an evening in a straight bar and a pair of eyes and an interpretive brain and you're pretty much aware. If you feel exposed in your clothing, if your clothing garners a lot of attention in some way and if you can't run in your shoes, you don't want to get far from friends, help, eyeshot or earshot.

 

[Shankara20]

If you feel exposed in your clothing, if your clothing garners a lot of attention in some way and if you can't run in your shoes, you don't want to get far from friends, help, eyeshot or earshot.

Hell, that sounds exactly like me the few times I crossdressed and went to town while still living in San Francisco...

 

[satindesire]

What level of exposed female body parts = "wad of cash sticking out"? How do women learn the exact skirt length that will set off men's rape reflex so they can avoid it?

Not to sound hateful here, but when it gets to this point, you need to ask the Burqa crowd.

When a woman can't dress the way she wants just because a man refuses to control his actions, that's a sad day.