Why do you choose to be a sub?

[Strixaluco]

I married a woman who was strong and had dominant tendencies. Due to stress and an accumulation of thing I started to withdraw and she asserted herself as the dominant. The sexual aspect came later. I went along with it and found that I enjoy being her sub.

I hope you have also talked about it explicitly. Sometimes when things just slide into an arrangement, the result isn't totally pleasing to both.

 

[NancyPan]

I did not choose to be submissive. Submission chose me. I married young — to a beautiful and very capable and assertive woman. I admire her and want to be like her. I choose to submit to her to make her life easier and because I see her as superior to me in many ways. I asked her to dominate me sexually and to take charge of the house. At first she was reluctant, but after some experimenting, it was clear that the house and marriage worked better if our roles were clearly defined. Things changed dramatically when she took control of my orgasms and forbid masturbation.

I am a strong and capable person in the outside world. At home I submit and she is the Queen. It is the natural course of things for me.

 

[hulmule]

I enjoy reading this thread. Opens my eyes to see how the sub thinks. Im a take charge person , so i the Dom. Not into call me sir but i just seem to take control in situations. Thanks for who posted their thoughts

 

[NancyPan]

sub enjoys more. all pleasure and no work.

Absolutely not the case! Any true sub knows this. As someone who lives in a FLR marriage, I do most of the housework, wait on my Queen (quite willingly), and service Her sexual desires. As She strictly manages my orgasms, there is little question that Her pleasure comes first (as it should!). A Domme does have responsibilities, of course, but the primary mission of a devoted sub is (or should be) to make Her life easier and provide what pleasure She desires.

 

[Strixaluco]

the primary mission of a devoted sub is (or should be) to make Her life easier and provide what pleasure She desires.

You are both right and wrong. It depends totally on the couple and how they want their relation to work, not all Doms desire the same thing from a sub. Just like some D's want to have obedient subs and some like brats, they may also want service subs or something totally else.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I hope you have also talked about it explicitly. Sometimes when things just slide into an arrangement, the result isn't totally pleasing to both.

Yes we have a great relationship and there is a lot of communication. Both have to be happy with where thing are going and be on the same page. We are close a comfortable and open with each other so there’s no misunderstanding.

 

[Strixaluco]

Yes we have a great relationship and there is a lot of communication. Both have to be happy with where thing are going and be on the same page. We are close a comfortable and open with each other so there’s no misunderstanding.

That's the main thing really. With open communication one can find surprising things working in a relationship. What doesn't work foe many does works for some.

I am myself having a moment where I probably need to remind my Dom about him not needing to always be in control. That we can also just have lazy time together instead of a session every time we meet. That if he's tired but I am not, I can take help from him relax etc. That I am also very happy to just be together, even he he was playing and I was reading a novel.

 

[Goldenfinger]

That's the main thing really. With open communication one can find surprising things working in a relationship. What doesn't work foe many does works for some.

I am myself having a moment where I probably need to remind my Dom about him not needing to always be in control. That we can also just have lazy time together instead of a session every time we meet. That if he's tired but I am not, I can take help from him relax etc. That I am also very happy to just be together, even he he was playing and I was reading a novel.

I hear what you’re saying often. Sometimes people get ideas of how things need to be. I’m in a marriage and we have been together for getting close to 30 years. So we have a lot of different aspects of life that we share together. Every night is not a session. There is always a dome sub undertone but it isn’t the main focus of everyday. Sometimes you just need to snuggle up on the couch make some popcorn and watch a movie. I’m our relationship love is a primary factor and sometimes for no reason I bring her flowers turn on some music and ask her to dance With me in the living room.

 

[Strixaluco]

I hear what you’re saying often. Sometimes people get ideas of how things need to be. I’m in a marriage and we have been together for getting close to 30 years. So we have a lot of different aspects of life that we share together. Every night is not a session. There is always a dome sub undertone but it isn’t the main focus of everyday. Sometimes you just need to snuggle up on the couch make some popcorn and watch a movie. I’m our relationship love is a primary factor and sometimes for no reason I bring her flowers turn on some music and ask her to dance With me in the living room.

Indeed. I have all together approximately 25 years of dating and living together with someone, though it was all vanilla before last year. Most of life is, after all, "ordinary Tuesdays" instead of special events, and I am happy with that even in dating while not living together.

But my Dom hasn't been as lucky. He hasn't gotten to the point of ordinary evenings with anybody.... And I might need to teach him that.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Indeed. I have all together approximately 25 years of dating and living together with someone, though it was all vanilla before last year. Most of life is, after all, "ordinary Tuesdays" instead of special events, and I am happy with that even in dating while not living together.

But my Dom hasn't been as lucky. He hasn't gotten to the point of ordinary evenings with anybody.... And I might need to teach him that.

I find that a lot her. I know that we are on a sex blog sight. But life isn’t like some or most of the video clips and stories you see here. Some people especially those who don’t live with a partner never get out of the fantasy stage.

 

[Strixaluco]

I find that a lot her. I know that we are on a sex blog sight. But life isn’t like some or most of the video clips and stories you see here. Some people especially those who don’t live with a partner never get out of the fantasy stage.

Some never have the luxury of not being dumped before getting out of the fantasy stage...

Whereas I've seen it all through thick and thin, till the end.

 

[GlasDomDaddy]

It depends; in my experience people don't choose. They are either sub or dom by predisposition.

Some people do powerplay as a game during sex, and for others the power dynamic is part of their sexual identity

 

[sterculius]

I'm a sub because my penis is so pathetically small. I'm inferior to everyone else.

 

[KissWPupe]

I wanna be a sub because it isn't just about being controlled.
If girl has a lot of fantasies then why not?
Like in facesitting or ass worship the sub can to have some pleasure too - same being in her booty is cool.

 

[saintcero]

As many have already stated:

I did not choose to be right handed, or to have blue eyes, or to be a male, and I did not choose to be a sub. It is part of my nature; part of who I am. I am just sorry that it took so long for me to identify and embrace it.

 

[nena_banana]

I have been talking to my college friend and fuck-buddy who came to visit to cheer me up. She has some dom tendencies, whereas I lean the other way.

For me, I think part of being submissive in a sexual context is because I am the opposite IRL. I’m probably the person who wants to be in charge and to have a plan. She is the opposite, IRL she wouldn’t say boo to a goose, but gets off on controlling people sexually.

It it like this with other people?

Em

For me I'm the same way of being in charge in my everyday life and wanting a plan. I think being more submissive sexually is like a therapeutic thing as it allows someone else to be in control and me not having to think and be in control

 

[Goldenfinger]

There’s something about giving my wife control. It’s thrilling, humiliating loving and a whole lot more all rolled into one. It’s a feeling thats hard to describe.

 

[AchtungNight]

I do not choose such a thing. I am the co-worker and ambassador of my goddess, occasionally the paladin if needed. She understands this and accepts it. Freedom denied is not something I want. This is why I follow the Redeemer Queen.

 

[sterculius]

Becoming a sub wasn't my choice. I'm a sub because of my pathetically small penis, and any man whose cock is bigger than mine is automatically my superior to whom I'm obligated to give blowjobs. My inadequate penis also renders me incapable of satisfying women through normal, penetrative sex. Consequently, I have learned to satisfy both men and women orally and have become quite good at sucking cock and eating pussy.

 

[fma20fma]

more exciting to enjoy submitting to demanding kinky guy and taboo sex.

 

[PantiesAndPies]

I was a virgin when I got together with my wife. The first time I fucked her I came as soon as I entered her.

A few days later at our next opportunity she was kissing my cock then took it in her mouth. She’d already told me she hated the taste of cum so to warn her before I came. A few seconds after she took me in her mouth I had to warn her … I came all over her face and the red top she was wearing.

After that I always made sure to give her pleasure before she touched me … the problem was that giving her pleasure just got me hornier.

Then I admitted my preference for panties. I’d thrown all mine out because I was worried about her reaction but had realised I needed to be honest. She immediately took me panty shopping.

When we got home my ‘punishment’ for not telling her sooner, and wasting money by throwing all my old panties away was to give her a full body massage using both hands and tongue. She came multiple times and I came in my panties.

That evening she again ordered me around, telling me what she wanted. She got her cock shaped vibrator out of the drawer (I had no idea she owned one) and had me fuck her with that, telling me how good it felt to have a hard cock in her for so long! Then she told me ”Now you’re cock! I need five more minutes of cock and tongue. Once you cum the rest of the five minutes will be you licking my cum filled pussy!”

I licked her pussy for about 4 minutes and 45 seconds! My first cream pie.

Next morning we discussed what had happened and both agreed it was the best sex we’d ever had.

She still gives me the choice every day though as to if that day I am her slave or if we are just a normal couple. If I wear panties I’m her slave, male underwear then we’re a normal couple.

The only times I’ve worn male underwear was when I was in hospital. Every other day it is panties.

So you could say I choose to be submissive! But the fact is I get off on giving pleasure.

 

[BlueEyes1969]

Wish I knew, but it is powerfully addictive!

 

[Stupidwhtsubboy]

I just have a feeling that I’m meant for it. I don’t look like a typical sub, but deep down I know that I’m meant to make men cum, even if that’s not what I want for myself

 

[Strixaluco]

I just have a feeling that I’m meant for it. I don’t look like a typical sub, but deep down I know that I’m meant to make men cum, even if that’s not what I want for myself

What does a typical sub even look like? As far as the ones I know, they come in all body forms and sizes, and their personalities and styles also vary vastly.

 

[Stupidwhtsubboy]

What does a typical sub even look like? As far as the ones I know, they come in all body forms and sizes, and their personalities and styles also vary vastly.

There obviously isn’t one, but I don’t think that anyone in my life would guess I’m not straight, let alone that I want to be taken by older men, feminized, etc.

Doesn’t mean subs don’t come from all walks of life, that’s just how I’d describe myself