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Thanks for the thread. I haven’t even been here a week and it’s already unnerving. First of all, the amount of old pervs lurking around here is ridiculous. And they all seem to presume that I’m into old wankers. And the relentless messaging! There are two guys who message me every day, multiple times a day, even though there are zero replies from me - sometimes just forwarding my own posts back to me! I know I can block/ignore, but how desperate are these guys? No boundaries, no shame.
 
desibabe2705 said:
Thanks for the thread. I haven’t even been here a week and it’s already unnerving. First of all, the amount of old pervs lurking around here is ridiculous. And they all seem to presume that I’m into old wankers. And the relentless messaging! There are two guys who message me every day, multiple times a day, even though there are zero replies from me - sometimes just forwarding my own posts back to me! I know I can block/ignore, but how desperate are these guys? No boundaries, no shame.
Click to expand...
It's intense, and yeah, when I first got on I alternated between euphoria and disgust. Wasn't sure I would last a week. Block/Ignore frequently. I know with me it calmed down after a bit and now I don't get nearly that many PMs.
 
desibabe2705 said:
Thanks for the thread. I haven’t even been here a week and it’s already unnerving. First of all, the amount of old pervs lurking around here is ridiculous. And they all seem to presume that I’m into old wankers. And the relentless messaging! There are two guys who message me every day, multiple times a day, even though there are zero replies from me - sometimes just forwarding my own posts back to me! I know I can block/ignore, but how desperate are these guys? No boundaries, no shame.
Click to expand...
It's not you - it's a reflex with a few pervy men at Lit, who probably use multiple IDs, and pester newbs as though they were new kids at school, not grown women who've endured this shit all their lives. As Jenny said, it does stop once they get bored and shift their attention elsewhere. I used to regard Lit as a useful training ground to discover just how weird some people are in RL.
I'm glad you found this thread.
Stick the pervs on ignore and treat them as you would fruit flies.
 
I have a question for the group: you all saw my comment on getting an OkCupid account set up for ENM. I initially limited it to be shown only to non-straight profiles with an interest only in women and have had some OK responses. (A couple of really cute women who are at the very outside edge of my range but who strangely are in the same town with each other and haven’t met…) I made sure to write a note on every one of the likes I sent to make myself stand out and because it seemed polite.

Then as an experiment I expanded my preferences to men for 12 hours (still only non-straight profiles) and in that time got a comparative pile of looks and likes… and only one guy bothered to write a note.

Is this normal? Are they all really that low effort? At least all the profile pics were comparatively nice, well dressed, and none of them were holding a fish. Maybe because they all registered as queer somehow.

I’d love the groups feedbacks as a 52 year old on line dating newbie.
 
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