Words you hate in a sex story

[Trionyx]

From the Department of Shameless Self-Promotion:

I recently posted in HT a modest list of common synonyms used in erotic writing. Some of the terms might useful when there are just too many ‘cocks’ and ‘pussies’ or when ‘penises’ and ‘vulvas’ are too clinical.

https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-fuck-without-saying-fuck

 

[TadOverdon]

Beef curtains?!

Ohmygodjesuschrist!

Okay, yes, full disclosure, of course I've heard that one before. But...go with God, I guess.

I've used "the girls" once, in third-person limited narration for Lauren Chase. "Boobs," somewhat frequently.

I can't divorce "twat" from the mental image of an annoying person.

 

[Djmac1031]

Beef curtains?!

Ohmygodjesuschrist!

Okay, yes, full disclosure, of course I've heard that one before. But...go with God, I guess.
.

The only time using "beef curtains" makes sense is if you're intentionally writing your character as an asshole with derogatory views about women.

 

[SamScribble]

I don't think there are any words that I hate, per se. But I do find it distracting when a character uses words that I simply cannot imagine that particular character using - a supposed Brit saying 'panties', for example.

 

[eroticstoryspinner]

I don't think there are any words that I hate, per se. But I do find it distracting when a character uses words that I simply cannot imagine that particular character using - a supposed Brit saying 'panties', for example.

Exactly. Words relate to setting. A Regency romance sex scene has a whole different set of word choices than one might use for a drug fueled orgy.

I had someone take offense that female penal slaves in my universe are referred to as "slave cunts". She thought it was demeaning to women. My initial response was, " these are convicted criminals serving a term of penal servitude. Demeaning is a feature. Of course she wasn’t outraged that male convicts were called slave cocks.

She's also bugging me for more stories.

 

[Athalia]

When a writer calls sperm "baby batter," I'm out of that story.

Coffee spew!

 

[Athalia]

Beef curtains?!

Ohmygodjesuschrist!

Okay, yes, full disclosure, of course I've heard that one before. But...go with God, I guess.

Not beef curtains, but meat curtains or just curtains, I've heard of. In fact, I have some lovely ones. It's a convenient shorthand for "inner labia" and not quite so clinical-sounding. I don't know of any other euphemism for them.

I think most of my hot-button expressions have already been covered, but anything that references specific bra sizes ("34-C" and so on) are speed bumps for me. I've referred to cup sizes when I refer to anything at all, but anybody who knows anything about tits knows how little information it actually conveys.

Oh, yeah. "Tits." that's another one. Good in very small doses or in startling situations, or when it alludes to a breast's primary biological function of providing milk. And I confess that I've used "titties" once in a while. But every time I see "tits" in a story, I'm reminded of what Groucho Marx said when was asked if he'd seen a recent Victor Mature film: "No, I never see any movie where the tits on the guy are bigger than the tits on the girl."

 

[jehoram]

I'm reminded of what Groucho Marx said when was asked if he'd seen a recent Victor Mature film: "No, I never see any movie where the tits on the guy are bigger than the tits on the girl."

Yeah, Victor Mature was the Arnold Schwarzenegger or Gerald Butler of his day, for those younger people who missed the allusion.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Penis, Scrotum, Anus, Breasts and Vagina sound like they're out of a textbook. So not bad if you're writing an alien or a very awkward doctor. But otherwise not great.

Oddly enough Sphincter and Vulva don't bug me.

 

[Xyzz90212]

“Oh shit oh shit” in the throes of passion. Especially if there’s anal sex involved. Seems like the wrong thing to call out in the heat of the moment. Just my $0.02 worth. (Is that a money shot?)

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Just my $0.02 worth. (Is that a money shot?)

It is now! Bet on it!

 

[Rob_Royale]

I'm of the apparent minority that finds anal sex disgusting. So any scene that features that is auto-skipped.
As for words, most every other word for cum/semen, sounds juvenile. So jiz, jizm, baby-batter, spooge are right out.

 

[Demiurging]

"Roast beef" when in reference to the inner labia, for however much I enjoy the imagery. I can't help but be drawn back to a show which described female fluids as "pork soup". Now, chocolate, cream, fruit; I'm alright with those kinds of comparisons. It's when there's a dead animal involved that I'm taken out of it.

I'm also in agreement to a lot of you as to specific measurements. Like, you've just removed his pants and now I should believe that you're holding a ruler and a tape measure to get his penis' specific dimensions? Not to mention breast size when there are perfectly usable fruit comparisons to be made in a continuum from apples to melons (as I've said I'm fine with).

 

[dmallord]

I've lived a military life ... so what is mentioned here isn't bothersome.

Meatcurtains or baby batter, well, those aren't in my vocabulary then or now in my writing. Still, I wouldn't skip out on a well-crafted story because of some quaint off-putting vocabulary.

Cunt, cock ... slit, dick - just part of the military jargon.

Fruits, yeah. Measurements, if needed but often unnecessary. Cups ... well for coffee that makes sense. If we are talking breasts, by the time I'm writing that description my mind isn't focused on cups ... it's focused on tactile senses; you can't measure that in cup size.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

But if you're trying to set a more romantic, loving tone, it fails miserably.

“he went home to give the c#*t some flowers”.

Yep. Kind of ruins the romantic vibe.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I have several words I can't stand coming across in a sex story:

Mewled: There was a great series by a fantastic writer on another forum that I truly loved, except for his constant use of "mewled" or "mewling." It made me cringe every time.

Cooed: almost as bad as mewled, but not quite.

Rut / Rutted / Rutting: absolutely terrible term for sex.

Crotch: I just had to go back and edit this word out of one of my own stories. It's just a terrible, ugly word and only works if some asshole character is getting kicked in his.

What are some words you can't stand in your smut?

EDIT: Please don't take this too seriously. I'm not telling people what words they can or cannot use.

To be fair, no words put me off.

In fact I’m going to add mewling and cooed to my descriptor list right now.

I think as long as it describes the action and you know what someone means by it then it’s fine, after all, their are only so many words to describe a penis and a vagina that don’t scream out technical and austere or else down right hilarious (flesh-coloured cucumber, love-flute, etc).

That said, the only word I’d say I’m less partial to in sex stories is “moist”, well, that and “damp”. To me those two words sound more like descriptions of a rot infestation, but I wouldn’t let it put me off an enjoyable story.

 

[jehoram]

I'm considering writing a story of a well-educated man dictating his memoirs of sex. The trouble is that he lives in the nineteenth century, and I know that many modern words aren't appropriate for him, and others that were in use at that time would probably not find their way into the gentleman's vocabulary. If there's a comprehensive list of such terms, I'd be grateful if you could send it my way.

 

[SamScribble]

Apart from 'panties' (a word that just makes me laugh), the only words that cause me to pause are words that are inappropriate to the vocabulary of the persons using them, be those persons characters or the narrator.

 

[NakedNymph]

I'm considering writing a story of a well-educated man dictating his memoirs of sex. The trouble is that he lives in the nineteenth century, and I know that many modern words aren't appropriate for him, and others that were in use at that time would probably not find their way into the gentleman's vocabulary. If there's a comprehensive list of such terms, I'd be grateful if you could send it my way.

tbh the best way imo would be to read some period literature

 

[jehoram]

tbh the best way imo would be to read some period literature

Well, I've read some, but not very much. And I'm afraid that something might have slipped into my story because I thought it was period at the time, and it turned out not to be. So it would be nice to be able to cross-check my memory with some other reference.

 

[NotWise]

There used to be a comprehensive, on-line timeline of English sex slang based on Jonathon Green's Dictionary of Slang. I used that and a few specialized sources for the 1920's slang in 'Love is Enough,' but it disappeared a couple years ago.

Now the entire dictionary is on line (linked above) and searchable for free. I just found the link, so I'm not sure how much you can do with it. I think with a paid membership you can access timelines, among other things.

 

[EnonEMoose]

'The' I just wish people had broader vocabularies and just would never use the word 'the' - just kidding but we seem to have gone through nearly every word possible

 

[NakedNymph]

'The' I just wish people had broader vocabularies and just would never use the word 'the' - just kidding but we seem to have gone through nearly every word possible

Similar energy

 

[FelHarper]

“Yummy”, usually said by a women after tasting her partner’s semen. I get the intent, but to me it comes off as terribly unsexy. It tries for cute and bimbo-ish and overshoots to infantile. Hammy dialogue in general is one of my pet peeves, and too much talking during sex. A few words here and there, but save the soliloquy for before and after.

It also can matter if a word is used in the dialogue or the narration. More clinical terms like “penis” are fine in the narration, but ring false in dialogue. “Cunt” or “slit” work better for scenes driven by lust over love, “pussy” is all-purpose, but I also enjoy more, ahem, flowery terms for female anatomy, to accentuate love.

I write a lot of first-person perspective, and one of the ways I differentiate characters is in the words they use, including how they talk about sex. It can be a challenge, if a character avoids crass speech, to adequately describe what is happening, but that’s also part of the fun.

 

[RejectReality]

My wife absolutely despised the word dick. She had me word-ban it and absolutely every possible text trick that came up to display it on her website/forum. The banned word list was nothing more than variations of it. Everybody eventually got the hint, and phrases like Richardhead were everywhere. She actually liked that substitution. It made her giggle.

So, I almost never used it for the longest time in deference to her. It was fairly easy because I was writing 100% fantasy at the time. I still lean away from it, but when it's appropriate for dialogue or first person narrative, I'll use it. I'll use virtually any word in the right context. Give me a crass dude of the right age and I'll even throw a bearded clam in there. I'm the same way with reading. If it feels appropriate to the character or the narrative voice, I'm fine with it.