X-mas lonelyhearts support thread 2004

[Guest]

CV, you are now my fave columnist. I skip all the pol threads here, but you I'd read to find out what's really going on. Plus you have real wit (you and maybe two others I read here).

Seriously, Perdita

Ta.

 

[EnglishMuffin]

cv, did you read that story about an unhappily married couple/DbF/ghost story?

what did you think of it? pm me!

 

[Guest]

cv, did you read that story about an unhappily married couple/DbF/ghost story?

what did you think of it? pm me!

Sorry. I don't PM.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

This thread is for those pathetic people who, like me, will spend this Christmas period alone.

Rules:

- in order to post in this thread you have to confess how many times you masturbated this December so far.
- your real life - relationship-wise - really, really, really have to suck like mine.
- we cannot mention anything relating to X-mas at all.
- other than that, just post away (or just lurk: i.e. masturbate but don't confess).

Far too often . . .

Definititely . . . .

Not a problem . . .

Just did . . .

 

[carsonshepherd]

CV, you are now my fave columnist. I skip all the pol threads here, but you I'd read to find out what's really going on. Plus you have real wit (you and maybe two others I read here).

Seriously, Perdita

Sure... he has wit, but how big is his cock?

 

[Guest]

Sure... he has wit, but how big is his cock?

You meanie head. Doesn't matter to me. P.

 

[Guest]

Originally posted by carsonshepherd
Sure... he has wit, but how big is his cock?
BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU.

My man Gary tells me Mike is doing Sicko next (I pray for good things, though I hardly believe in doG). I think that's cool. I tell him about the Urquhart/Welsh connection, and he says, 'connect the dots, or sex (in German) degreez of zeperation'.

I say, 'Yeah, yeah (Ja, ja).'

Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti the playwrite is in hiding. We should all send him/her happy seasonal vibe. (in conjunction with Cloudy's thread.) I mean, I'm open-mindedly sceptical about supernatural, but you never know these days: Jesus might re-born.

Science department closures is not good business (doubletalk, or pan, so to speak).

Dafydd says, 'The princepal of a Catholic-run care home jailed for 14 years.'

I reply, 'Leyla Mafi was sentenced to death for prostitution.'

He comes back with, 'BAE Systems should be nuked.'

I recite Tim Radford about 'Olympus Mons'.

Dafydd takes a sharp intake of the air and exclaims, 'Oh no! Kim Jong-il is unstable!'

I chuckle and say, 'Again?'

'A hunting boom in South Africa!'

'Sick fucks,' I marmar (in honour of 'Marmaduke' from MA's London Fields).

Here are something funny (Eggersesque):

Abby National -> Abby
Jiff -> Ciff
Jarvis -> CockUp

Bradford & Bingley was yesterday fined £650,000 for the 'widespread mis-spelling' of risky high-income bonds and must pay £6m in compensation to investors who lost out.

Now. MH knows (appology accepted). But why now? OK. You can e-mail me, but keep it non-sexual because you don't want to upset my fiancee, do you. Or . . .

 

[carsonshepherd]

I need to stop posting drunk....

 

[Guest]

I like ice cubes

Oooh.

I missed your post.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Oooh.

I missed your post.

Christmas smooch for Chilly.

 

[Guest]

Christmas smooch for Chilly.

No sex please, you're British.
No, sex please, you're British.
No sex, please, you're British.
No sex, please you're British.
No. Sex please, you're British.

 

[Guest]

Oh, wait! I've got a girlfriend, now!

The end of the thread.

So - you got yourself a little girlie friend, have you? What's the deal here? You got your fiancee, but why not me? Are we supposed to share her? Why don't I have a girlfriend? How about CV III and IV? Why can't those guys get girlfriends?

 

[shereads]

So - you got yourself a little girlie friend, have you? What's the deal here? You got your fiancee, but why not me? Are we supposed to share her? Why don't I have a girlfriend? How about CV III and IV? Why can't those guys get girlfriends?

Is it going to be Roman numerals all the time now, except for 2? I hope I won't have to learn the metric system.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

No sex please, you're British.
No, sex please, you're British.
No sex, please, you're British.
No sex, please you're British.
No. Sex please, you're British.

Thats news to me? Last time I looked I had made in the USA printed on my ass.

 

[Guest]

Newsflash: I am CV Quatro's girlfriend (well, pretend gf, but it's something). I really want to be the original CV's girl, or just a bit on the side.

Perdita

 

[Huckleman2000]

I don't keep track of my masturbation, but I woke up this morning during a really great erotic dream. So obviously, I'm off the average masturbatory rate...

As for the day-that-shall-not-be-named, I plan to rent Bad Santa and work on my glove-slap challenge story.

Oh, and there's wine involved.

 

[Guest]

Laurel has been PMed

The world's first cloned pet (a cat costing $50,000)
Where else but in California.

The Sun's front page headline: Rebekah Wade gang raped and murdered by Stan Collymore and his black and Asian mates.

M, stop it. What are you trying to do?

Deadline: 25/12/04

 

[Guest]

So - you got yourself a little girlie friend, have you? What's the deal here? You got your fiancee, but why not me? Are we supposed to share her? Why don't I have a girlfriend? How about CV III and IV? Why can't those guys get girlfriends?

Em, I got dumped. Too lame, apparently. The ring is wasted. Now you can have a go at her if you liked.

MH, if tmorrow is worse day than today, I'll e-mail you, OK?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Em, I got dumped. Too lame, apparently. The ring is wasted. Now you can have a go at her if you liked.

MH, if tmorrow is worse day than today, I'll e-mail you, OK?

How many times have you masturbated this month?

 

[EnglishMuffin]

bump