“I can write authentic female characters” he said. Hilarity ensues.

[JasonClearwater]

Well, I'm sure that for [whatever the fuck they do at law firms] it really only matters that he's cute, with an 8-inch dick and prominent pecs. They probably have casual Fridays where the boys oil each other up for a casual performance review.

Absolutely. Each of them will line up, glistening with oil, and smiling up under their eyelashes, hoping to be chosen to accompany Mrs Alberford on her next business trip.

 

[NotWise]

Absolutely. Each of them will line up, glistening with oil, and smiling up under their eyelashes, hoping to be chosen to accompany Mrs Alberford on her next business trip.

If only they could be her best Boy Friday. That's all they really want.

This reminds me of a woman I've known for many years now who got her degree in mathematics from Columbia and was sure that her best career track was to become the secretary for a prominent (male) mathematician.

That was the mid-1960's. Then she read Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique and plans changed.

 

[JasonClearwater]

If only they could be her best Boy Friday. That's all they really want.

Well, naturally. What sweet, smart, kind and caring young man doesn't aspire to learn from the great women in his industry? Sure, it'll take him years of hard work, and he'll have to impress all the women on the ladder above him--and probably sleep with a couple of them to get those promotions--but one day... one day, he might even make partner. Well, a man can dream.

That said, over in Women Writing Men, we've got more abs than a Toyota recall, more brooding than an Iowa battery farm, and enough unfreezing hearts to send out a flood warning.

 

[Jada59]

Absolutely. Each of them will line up, glistening with oil, and smiling up under their eyelashes, hoping to be chosen to accompany Mrs Alberford on her next business trip.

Hehehe. Smiling up under their eyelashes. I am sooo getting a visual on that!

 

[ausfet]

Is it a bad thing to write female characters the way people (men) want them to be? It seems like readers appreciate it. Several high rated Lit-stories are just like that.

I'm female and have a love of unrealistic women in stories. My favourite lit line is;

Here I am, Natalie Lesman, a lesbian with tentacles, and what's the first thing I did? Used them to give myself a dick so I could beat my meat. Yeah, I'm a real winner here.

Beat my meat, raging boners, copious amounts of cum and ten inch dicks are descriptions and ideals that exist only for men. I couldn't care less how much a man ejaculates. I don't even notice hahaha. Unless it's in my hair. Then I'm annoyed, not turned on. But I digress.... Women would never write about men with massive, throbbing cocks smothering their mountainous, perfect tits with rivers of cum, but that doesn't mean that I won't greatly enjoy a story in which they do. I just won't believe for a second it's authentic, and if the author started blabbing about how well he understood women, I would roll my eyes.

 

[Jada59]

A two-foot putt...who the hell misses a two-foot putt?

A one legged golfer?

Shhhh... I have missed a few.

 

[Jada59]

A man talks about physical attributes, a woman would probably have said something along 'a man distracted by thoughts of why his wife loves him despite his imperfection'.


And that's why men can't write authentic female characters...

Yep.

Ever read J.A. Jance? I had read a few of her books and she writes like a guy. I was shocked when I heard a radio interview with her. Shocked because she wasn't a guy!

 

[ausfet]

That said, over in Women Writing Men, we've got more abs than a Toyota recall, more brooding than an Iowa battery farm, and enough unfreezing hearts to send out a flood warning.

My male characters are always horribly insecure. Why am I going grey? What does she think about the size of my dick? Does she love him more because he's tall and rugged?

I've never once heard a man express these fears, so why do I write them? Why not just have my character say to his partner 'I dunno why you like this fat wreck, but I'm gonna take advantage of it and fuck you stupid tonight'.

There are reasons I prefer to write women!

 

[Jada59]

I'm female and have a love of unrealistic women in stories. My favourite lit line is;

Here I am, Natalie Lesman, a lesbian with tentacles, and what's the first thing I did? Used them to give myself a dick so I could beat my meat. Yeah, I'm a real winner here.

Beat my meat, raging boners, copious amounts of cum and ten inch dicks are descriptions and ideals that exist only for men. I couldn't care less how much a man ejaculates. I don't even notice hahaha. Unless it's in my hair. Then I'm annoyed, not turned on. But I digress.... Women would never write about men with massive, throbbing cocks smothering their mountainous, perfect tits with rivers of cum, but that doesn't mean that I won't greatly enjoy a story in which they do. I just won't believe for a second it's authentic, and if the author started blabbing about how well he understood women, I would roll my eyes.

One thing I've learned in my 58 years of walking this earth is that most men are very curious about women and the details thereof. Some are quite curious about things like periods and being pregnant. Or other simple every day thing like why we choose what kind of bra we wear or the differences in various styles of panties.

They seem to want to know why we chose some specific thing or do some specific thing. And they seem to think that something as common as a menstrual period could cause us major distress and cause us in some way to alter our normal lifestyle. I do realize that for some women, it might. I would have to say that I was one of the lucky ones, because it didn't really. Except for when (at the risk of TMI), I got older. Then I never knew when they might stop or start and I often had what I called "flood" days. In those days, I pretty much lived in black pants and brought a bag of pads with me wherever I went.

I also thought of a joke about older women after I realized that so many of them have a fondness for pastel colors. Especially in pants. Why do they wear them? Because they *can*. It's like... Not gonna have any more accidental period stains so...

What I find odd though is after a man will ask me all sorts of questions about me or women in general, he will then usually expect me to ask similar questions about him or men in general. And I really just can't. I never really wondered what it was like to have a cock. Where to put it in my pants/underwear? How it feels when it's hard? Things about balls. How it feels to ask a woman out on a date?

Why? Why do I not have questions about these things? It's not that I don't care. I think it's because with most men, what you see is what you get. They're just not usually very secretive.

Sure when you first meet a man, he might go off someplace secluded to scratch his balls. But be around him for long enough and he'll do it right in front of you without thinking. And I'll know why. Because they freaking itch! Yeah, he might say something like "oops" or "excuse me" after he finishes. But that's what I love about men. They're just so very real!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Absolutely. Each of them will line up, glistening with oil, and smiling up under their eyelashes, hoping to be chosen to accompany Mrs Alberford on her next business trip.

That'll be Marjorie Alberford, one assumes?

 

[JasonClearwater]

My male characters are always horribly insecure. Why am I going grey? What does she think about the size of my dick? Does she love him more because he's tall and rugged?

This sounds like a case of two equally good-looking men vying for the heroine's attention; one dark and brooding, but sweet and good, the other bold and sarcastic, but far more ruthless. They're brothers or best friends, and they just can't help snarking jealously at each other while they wait for her to choose. Of course, eventually she'll have to choose between them, and when she does, she'll initially choose the sweet one, then get drawn back to the bolder nature of the sarcastic arsehole. But in the final reel, she'll end up with them both, because men never mind sharing. The same way women never mind sharing in harem stories.

Well, it's all fantasy, innit? Authentic characters don't often have the motivation to do interesting things. Lop out half their brain or a good dose of their good sense, and then you have a story.

 

[JasonClearwater]

That'll be Marjorie Alberford, one assumes?

That damned Marjorie!

 

[Jada59]

Obviously, I would never make such mistakes but I am just reading one recent contest winner (trying to find out what makes a winner ), and the story was full of things like this. I find it hard to believe only men voted.

Now I must find the story and attempt to read it!

 

[ausfet]

They seem to want to know why we chose some specific thing or do some specific thing. And they seem to think that something as common as a menstrual period could cause us major distress and cause us in some way to alter our normal lifestyle. I do realize that for some women, it might. I would have to say that I was one of the lucky ones, because it didn't really. Except for when (at the risk of TMI), I got older. Then I never knew when they might stop or start and I often had what I called "flood" days. In those days, I pretty much lived in black pants and brought a bag of pads with me wherever I went.

I picked my daughter up from childcare earlier this week and her group leader said 'oh, there's a pair of your underwear in with her sheets (which parents supply and take home to be cleaned each week) - don't be embarrassed, we often get underwear and socks in with sheets'. My blood ran cold. I had my period last week! Exactly which pair of underwear had gotten mixed up with the sheets???? Talk about nightmares no man would ever understand. Thank God they weren't the 'heavy flow knickers'.

I think menstruation provides a tidy 'reason' as to why women cry, which seems to be the most confusing thing for a lot of guys. Crying. Women do lots of it; men don't seem to understand why.

 

[ausfet]

This sounds like a case of two equally good-looking men vying for the heroine's attention; one dark and brooding, but sweet and good, the other bold and sarcastic, but far more ruthless. They're brothers or best friends, and they just can't help snarking jealously at each other while they wait for her to choose. Of course, eventually she'll have to choose between them, and when she does, she'll initially choose the sweet one, then get drawn back to the bolder nature of the sarcastic arsehole. But in the final reel, she'll end up with them both, because men never mind sharing. The same way women never mind sharing in harem stories.

Well, it's all fantasy, innit? Authentic characters don't often have the motivation to do interesting things. Lop out half their brain or a good dose of their good sense, and then you have a story.

Sharing? Unthinkable! Women always have to be 'not like other girls'. Men need to be 'best at having sex'.

 

[JasonClearwater]

I picked my daughter up from childcare earlier this week and her group leader said 'oh, there's a pair of your underwear in with her sheets (which parents supply and take home to be cleaned each week) - don't be embarrassed, we often get underwear and socks in with sheets'. My blood ran cold. I had my period last week! Exactly which pair of underwear had gotten mixed up with the sheets???? Talk about nightmares no man would ever understand. Thank God they weren't the 'heavy flow knickers'.

I think menstruation provides a tidy 'reason' as to why women cry, which seems to be the most confusing thing for a lot of guys. Crying. Women do lots of it; men don't seem to understand why.

What are 'heavy flow' underwear? Do they... do they catch the flow? Do they have moisture management systems built in?

I have so many questions.

 

[Jada59]

I picked my daughter up from childcare earlier this week and her group leader said 'oh, there's a pair of your underwear in with her sheets (which parents supply and take home to be cleaned each week) - don't be embarrassed, we often get underwear and socks in with sheets'. My blood ran cold. I had my period last week! Exactly which pair of underwear had gotten mixed up with the sheets???? Talk about nightmares no man would ever understand. Thank God they weren't the 'heavy flow knickers'.

I think menstruation provides a tidy 'reason' as to why women cry, which seems to be the most confusing thing for a lot of guys. Crying. Women do lots of it; men don't seem to understand why.

Hmmm... Maybe that's just you. I hate to cry. And in almost all cases, I was able to get period blood out of whatever it got on. And at the risk of TMI here, the key to not getting it on there to begin with is to wear good, well fitting panties.

I think many women wear cheap ones or even ones they might otherwise have tossed out while on their periods, thinking they'll get stained anyway. Newsflash! They got stained because they didn't fit properly to begin with.

I don't care who sees me in my underwear or even care if they see my underwear not on me. To me it's no big deal.

 

[Jada59]

What are 'heavy flow' underwear? Do they... do they catch the flow? Do they have moisture management systems built in?

I have so many questions.

I have no clue either unless they are those super expensive ones with like plastic or some such thing in the crotch that are marketed for use while on your period. I have seen such websites but would never buy the things.

 

[ausfet]

What are 'heavy flow' underwear? Do they... do they catch the flow? Do they have moisture management systems built in?

I have so many questions.

'Heavy flow' underwear are the ugliest, most horrible knickers you own that you set aside for use on the first few days of your period just in case you leak. Colloquially known as 'grundies'.

Shit you just didn't need to know, huh?

 

[JasonClearwater]

'Heavy flow' underwear are the ugliest, most horrible knickers you own that you set aside for use on the first few days of your period just in case you leak. Colloquially known as 'grundies'.

Shit you just didn't need to know, huh?

How ugly can pants be? Wouldn't you be more embarrassed if your crotchless, leather-look, lace-up, arseless panties were floating about in there? Or is that more a source of pride?

On another note, a quick web search of 'Grundies' has not left me disappointed.

 

[ausfet]

How ugly can pants be? Wouldn't you be more embarrassed if your crotchless, leather-look, lace-up, arseless panties were floating about in there? Or is that more a source of pride?

On another note, a quick web search of 'Grundies' has not left me disappointed.

Don't ask how ugly they can be. Think horrible elastic, faded, etc.

Nothing like the brand grundies whose webpage is, uh, far from displeasing!

 

[Jada59]

My male characters are always horribly insecure. Why am I going grey? What does she think about the size of my dick? Does she love him more because he's tall and rugged?

I've never once heard a man express these fears, so why do I write them? Why not just have my character say to his partner 'I dunno why you like this fat wreck, but I'm gonna take advantage of it and fuck you stupid tonight'.

There are reasons I prefer to write women!

I have met men who were insecure about their dick size, and one who was very upset about his build. He was bisexual which might have nothing to do with it. He was a bit on the shorter side and quite thin but what there was of him was all muscle. I also worked with a guy who was about the other guy's size but different build and no visible muscle. He was constantly trying to add weight and muscle to his frame, to no avail. He had a GF.

The thin guy with the muscle though seemed to think that all women should be attracted to him. I will say that he was in fact quite good in bed but also had a wandering eye and that if anything if anything was likely the turn-off for most women. I can remember him pointing out a woman to me and saying that she had the most perfect lips for sucking dick. I couldn't understand this though as to me, her lips looked quite ordinary.

This guy also had a near insatiable sex drive and I highly doubt there was anyone he would have turned down for sex, be they male or female. He just couldn't understand why most of the rest of us seemed far more choosy.

I tried to tell him but he couldn't understand. It started with us being in a nightclub. He asked me to pick the most appealing guy in the room. I think I told him it was him so then picked the next appealing guy.

He was an older guy who I'd seen on many occasions. I did actually send him a flower on his birthday and asked him to dance on that same occasion. He did dance with me but added that I didn't want an old alcoholic like him. And after I thought about it, I think part of the appeal was that he was drunk every time I saw him and appeared to be a happy drunk. I guess I didn't realize that he was always drunk until he pointed it out and then tried to dance with him. He was kind of all over the place. And the song that we danced to was "Werewolves of London". Every time the part in the song came where they made the wolf howl, he stopped and howled and laughed.

So the reality of this was that in interacting with this guy for a few minutes, he became far less appealing to me but from a distance, he was. Why? Because he seemed very confident and was always happy and having a good time.

At any rate, my guy friend could not fathom what I meant and immediately began pointing out the various features and things on/about the guy.

First was the cowboy boots. I don't actually like cowboy boots. I don't actually dislike them either. Oddly enough, I hadn't even noticed the boots. Next was the belt with the somewhat tacky buckle. Hadn't really noticed that either. Or the fact that he was wearing tight, light blue jeans. Yeah, I mean... I guess my eyes did notice these details but none of that stuff was what appealed. Next, my friend pointed out his tanned skin, longer graying hair, his tall height, bit of a belly, etc. Sheesh. On paper this guy doesn't sound too appealing. And yet, for me, he was.

Another time, I was dancing with a guy who had on brightly colored, rainbow kind of suspenders like Mork wore in that "Mork and Mindy" show. For you young folks, that was a sitcom featuring Robin Williams as Mork, the alien from the planet Ork (sp?). Again, on paper, not appealing. Not from the way he dressed at any rate but the suspenders did give off an aura of frivolity and good times. And as it turned out, he was the kind of guy who was full of snarky remarks that I thought were quite funny. But I also realized that this sort of person can easily turn the snarky remarks back to be used on me so... That one dance didn't lead to anything else.

Perhaps it's because men are more visual or something. I don't know. But they seem to notice appearance first, even on other men.

Me? I tend to see what's inside first, and appearance is more of a sidebar issue. Yeah, I will say that I certainly have seen men who were visually attractive but they were not always appealing to me in the "want to get to know them better" category.

 

[Jada59]

I should refrain from personal attacks on the board, not that I have bad intentions; send you a pm though.

Perhaps it does matter that the story was written for Exhibitionist & Voyeur. I guess characters in that genre are more aware of themselves.

Thanks got it! I had in fact looked at the story but hadn't gotten far enough into it to realize that it was in fact the one. I'm not bashing the story. It just didn't appeal to me enough to want to finish it. But then again, lots of things don't appeal to me.

 

[Jada59]

Sharing? Unthinkable! Women always have to be 'not like other girls'. Men need to be 'best at having sex'.

Interesting. I myself have always tried to be different but that's not what I see from many females. They often use social media to discuss clothing, makeup, perfume, etc. and all want to get the same things. I find if something is too popular and everyone has it, that's generally the last thing I want.

 

[Jada59]

How ugly can pants be? Wouldn't you be more embarrassed if your crotchless, leather-look, lace-up, arseless panties were floating about in there? Or is that more a source of pride?

On another note, a quick web search of 'Grundies' has not left me disappointed.

Ooh! What a nice little eye full there! Like the light blue ones. *Fans self in attempt to cool off*