“Realism” in writing sexual relations

[lovecraft68]

As far as me and my efforts, I have no difficulty in writing male or female characters. In the vein of this discussion, the only thing that I cringe about, is a two-dimensional character. Even the walk on's, the supporting cast, should be as fleshed out as possible within their limited part of the story.

Comshaw

I'm with you. Whenever there is a back ground character at some point during the story I give them a voice, have them make a couple jokes, use them as a foil for some exposition as their friend gripes about something pertinent to the story. I don't go as far in on physical descriptions as I do the MC, but the reader hopefully 'sees them" and feels like they're an actual person, not one of those card board cut outs you see in the stores.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Lol not “uncomfortable,” not the same as “unbelievable“ to me. “Uncomfortable” is “just move on To something you like.” “Unbelievable” is “huh?” You cannot predict who is going to be uncomfortable (oh well), but “unbelievable” is a writing error That I hope can be avoided. I am not comfortable with Oedipal issues for instance, BUT some people like it, I guess because their stories get published and read. That is okay, just not for me. I am not explaining very well.

Yes, but perspective is subjective. What you deem as unbelievable, may have been someone else's experience. One of the wonderful things about writing, is that no matter what you put down, someone will connect with it. However, whatever you put down, someone will in turn reject it. I don't believe that anyone can create a work or character that will be accepted as true by everyone. There's nothing wrong with this, because it allows everyone who writes to find the audience they're writing for.

I often have a difficult time finding a gay character that I can connect with. More often than not, they seem false to me. This is even coming from authors who've lived the lives of the character. This is not the fault of the writer, their characters aren't always flawed in their depiction, rather they're not compatible with my perspective or experience. I feel like you may have formed an overgeneralization based upon a singular perspective.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Most men write their female characters as pure unicorns - and there's nothing wrong with that. This is by and large a smut/porn site. If you are looking for more realism and nuance you will just have to dig (a lot) deeper to find what you want. Nuance plot and character development only get in the way of the porn for most people. That's just the way that it is around here - and again there is nothing wrong with that.

The literotica platform is almost completely free and open. The beauty of that is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. The downside is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. This means that the vast majority of characters are either self-insertions, or perfectly contrived to meet an ideal fantasy or kink, far beyond any consideration of plot or realism.

If you dig around you can find some very high quality writers here doing some well crafted work, but if you are looking specifically for realistic plot and character development, reactions, emotions, motives, or even genuine intimacy, you will be looking for a long time indeed.

 

[Seadog777]

Many writers just aren't that good. Many other writers just prioritise action and plot over characterisation. Of the ones who write plausible characters, some of their characters will always seem implausible to some people (eg the contingent who refuse to believe in happy open marriages or the ones who don't believe a man and a woman can be just friends).

I actually find it odd that people read a character that doesn't convince them and conclude that the author can't do 'men' or 'women' rather than can't do 'upper middle class New Yorker' or 'virgin student who grew up in a small town and is now at a huge college', but there we go.

I've lived and/or spent significant time on 5 continents and met many different types of people and different cultures.
In all of that time and locations, I never once met a "happy couple" in an open marriage.
If you believe the numbers, then I'm sure they're out there.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Most men write their female characters as pure unicorns - and there's nothing wrong with that. This is by and large a smut/porn site. If you are looking for more realism and nuance you will just have to dig (a lot) deeper to find what you want. Nuance plot and character development only get in the way of the porn for most people. That's just the way that it is around here - and again there is nothing wrong with that.

The literotica platform is almost completely free and open. The beauty of that is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. The downside is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. This means that the vast majority of characters are either self-insertions, or perfectly contrived to meet an ideal fantasy or kink, far beyond any consideration of plot or realism.

If you dig around you can find some very high quality writers here doing some well crafted work, but if you are looking specifically for realistic plot and character development, reactions, emotions, motives, or even genuine intimacy, you will be looking for a long time indeed.

If that is what you believe, believe it. However, it's hard to say how "Most" of anyone views or expresses something until you've seen all of it. If you feel something isn't Fairly or adequately represented, correct the mistake. Put the appropriate content out there.

 

[Seadog777]

My wife and my neighbor(widowed retired English professor)read my stories.
So I get a Females Perspective from them.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

If that is what you believe, believe it. However, it's hard to say how "Most" of anyone views or expresses something until you've seen all of it. If you feel something isn't Fairly or adequately represented, correct the mistake. Put the appropriate content out there.

My post was not a critique. It was simple observation. There is nothing fair or unfair about anything that I have observed. I thought that I was quite clear on that. Therefore there is no content that needs to be put out there to fill any sort of void.

 

[lovecraft68]

Most men write their female characters as pure unicorns - and there's nothing wrong with that. This is by and large a smut/porn site. If you are looking for more realism and nuance you will just have to dig (a lot) deeper to find what you want. Nuance plot and character development only get in the way of the porn for most people. That's just the way that it is around here - and again there is nothing wrong with that.

The literotica platform is almost completely free and open. The beauty of that is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. The downside is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. This means that the vast majority of characters are either self-insertions, or perfectly contrived to meet an ideal fantasy or kink, far beyond any consideration of plot or realism.

If you dig around you can find some very high quality writers here doing some well crafted work, but if you are looking specifically for realistic plot and character development, reactions, emotions, motives, or even genuine intimacy, you will be looking for a long time indeed.

To your first point about Unicorns, I recently published a Milf e-book and described the Milf in question of having a few grays and some laugh lines. I wanted to go with a more natural woman next door than the milf-to your point-looking like Cherie Deville, or India Summers or any of the other smokeshow milf porn stars.

I even mention the young guy in the story liked her look because she looked real and how much confidence she had not to care.

I received a review through my site "What's with the gray hair and wrinkles, this is porn, not the family channel."

People will find fault with unicorns-where's the dad bod, and the sagging breasts, and cellulite!, then we get the comment I did where they want their erotica women to be perfect.

You'll never win with all of them, just take what wins you can while making sure its your story.

I think the best example of people's nit picks regarding porn is a story where a guy's daughter has a sleep over, her three friends decide to run into his room, jump in his bed and fuck him all at once. The daughter come in and...she jumps in.

A comment on the story was "This was ridiculous, no way five people can fit, let along fuck on a double bed"
That's what they found absurd.

 

[MsNatalie99]

My post was not a critique. It was simple observation. There is nothing fair or unfair about anything that I have observed. I thought that I was quite clear on that. Therefore there is no content that needs to be put out there to fill any sort of void.

Very well. I apologize if my post had struck a nerve. Not my intention, just an expression of my thoughts after reading your post.

 

[LdyHoneybee]

Yes, but perspective is subjective. What you deem as unbelievable, may have been someone else's experience. One of the wonderful things about writing, is that no matter what you put down, someone will connect with it. However, whatever you put down, someone will intern reject it. I don't believe that anyone can create a work or character that will be accepted as true by anyone. There's nothing wrong with this, because it allows everyone who writes to find the audience they're writing for.

I often have a difficult time finding a gay character that I can connect with. More often than not oh, they seem false to me . This is even coming from authors who've lived the lives of the character. This is not the fault of the writer, their characters aren't always flawed in their depiction, rather they're not compatible with my perspective. I feel like you may have formed an overgeneralization based upon a singular perspective.

Most men write their female characters as pure unicorns - and there's nothing wrong with that. This is by and large a smut/porn site. If you are looking for more realism and nuance you will just have to dig (a lot) deeper to find what you want. Nuance plot and character development only get in the way of the porn for most people. That's just the way that it is around here - and again there is nothing wrong with that.

The literotica platform is almost completely free and open. The beauty of that is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. The downside is that anyone can post their work for all to see, regardless of its content or quality without judgement. This means that the vast majority of characters are either self-insertions, or perfectly contrived to meet an ideal fantasy or kink, far beyond any consideration of plot or realism.

If you dig around you can find some very high quality writers here doing some well crafted work, but if you are looking specifically for realistic plot and character development, reactions, emotions, motives, or even genuine intimacy, you will be looking for a long time indeed.

I guess “middle ground” is key for me. it doesn’t have to be “genuine intimacy” but just not over the top wild “everybody loves this even though they are not on drugs” kind of stuff to be believable. I have often wondered if there are any guys who really CAN work up multiple orgasms the way they regularly do in stories. Or sustain their arousal while they take measures to tend to their female’s desires. Does anybody REALLY know a guy like that? (No bragging, guys, and of course I am not asking for names. )

 

[lovecraft68]

I've lived and/or spent significant time on 5 continents and met many different types of people and different cultures.
In all of that time and locations, I never once met a "happy couple" in an open marriage.
If you believe the numbers, then I'm sure they're out there.

Yeah, its a porn trope. I think it can last awhile, but jealousy always rears its head at some point. There was a woman on the forum a few years ago bragging about her husband and wife and their amazing polyamory relationship. She was married to the husband, the other woman was a friend from school she reconnected with years later and somehow became part of the relationship. About a year later, she no longer posted here, and I heard through the grapevine the whole thing blew up and all three went their ways

That's reality, you talk to real swingers they're the first to tell you its not for everyone. Talk to the fools here in the fetish forum and every couple is down for it.

 

[LdyHoneybee]

To your first point about Unicorns, I recently published a Milf e-book and described the Milf in question of having a few grays and some laugh lines. I wanted to go with a more natural woman next door than the milf-to your point-looking like Cherie Deville, or India Summers or any of the other smokeshow milf porn stars.

I even mention the young guy in the story liked her look because she looked real and how much confidence she had not to care.

I received a review through my site "What's with the gray hair and wrinkles, this is porn, not the family channel."

People will find fault with unicorns-where's the dad bod, and the sagging breasts, and cellulite!, then we get the comment I did where they want their erotica women to be perfect.

You'll never win with all of them, just take what wins you can while making sure its your story.

I think the best example of people's nit picks regarding porn is a story where a guy's daughter has a sleep over, her three friends decide to run into his room, jump in his bed and fuck him all at once. The daughter come in and...she jumps in.

A comment on the story was "This was ridiculous, no way five people can fit, let along fuck on a double bed"
That's what they found absurd.

Was it double or king?

 

[MsNatalie99]

To your first point about Unicorns, I recently published a Milf e-book and described the Milf in question of having a few grays and some laugh lines. I wanted to go with a more natural woman next door than the milf-to your point-looking like Cherie Deville, or India Summers or any of the other smokeshow milf porn stars.

I even mention the young guy in the story liked her look because she looked real and how much confidence she had not to care.

I received a review through my site "What's with the gray hair and wrinkles, this is porn, not the family channel."

People will find fault with unicorns-where's the dad bod, and the sagging breasts, and cellulite!, then we get the comment I did where they want their erotica women to be perfect.

You'll never win with all of them, just take what wins you can while making sure its your story.

I think the best example of people's nit picks regarding porn is a story where a guy's daughter has a sleep over, her three friends decide to run into his room, jump in his bed and fuck him all at once. The daughter come in and...she jumps in.

A comment on the story was "This was ridiculous, no way five people can fit, let along fuck on a double bed"
That's what they found absurd.

A friend wrote an incest story, and a commenter was mad about bdsm being present. Fucking a blood relative (daughter) is ok as long as you dont spank her. People are strange.

 

[Seadog777]

Yeah, its a porn trope. I think it can last awhile, but jealousy always rears its head at some point. There was a woman on the forum a few years ago bragging about her husband and wife and their amazing polyamory relationship. She was married to the husband, the other woman was a friend from school she reconnected with years later and somehow became part of the relationship. About a year later, she no longer posted here, and I heard through the grapevine the whole thing blew up and all three went their ways

That's reality, you talk to real swingers they're the first to tell you its not for everyone. Talk to the fools here in the fetish forum and every couple is down for it.

That's exactly the truth.
Somebody always ends up jealous, and truthfully I can understand that.
I personally only know 2 regular swinger couples and even they've gotten close to divorce.
Before my wife lost her drive, we visited a Swingers Club in LA and it's an absolute shit show.
It smelled of alcohol, sweat, cum, cigarettes, etc.
There were quite a few rude people as well.
I'm not judging, but, I personally don't see the appeal.

 

[lovecraft68]

Was it double or king?

Double, that was his issue. Technically he's right, but that was more unbelievable than four teen age girls hopping on one middle aged schlub with one of them being his daughter who just casually jumped in?

Maybe the guy has a mattress fetish.

 

[lovecraft68]

That's exactly the truth.
Somebody always ends up jealous, and truthfully I can understand that.
I personally only know 2 regular swinger couples and even they've gotten close to divorce.
Before my wife lost her drive, we visited a Swingers Club in LA and it's an absolute shit show.
It smelled of alcohol, sweat, cum, cigarettes, etc.
There were quite a few rude people as well.
I'm not judging, but, I personally don't see the appeal.

After my divorce and before I remarried, I was hitting adult friend finder and ended up talking to a woman, then her husband who were interested in me joining them. This couple had it right, the first time we met it was for coffee at a Dunkin where we talked for about an hour to see if there was a connection between her and I and if he was cool with me.

The conversation was not all sex and dirty talk, they wanted to get a feel for me as a person, and make sure they'd both be happy with the fit. We went our separate ways, then the husband called me the next night and invited me over that Friday, even that night I was on the couch alone, they were together and we had a drink and talked some more. After awhile she looks at him, and nods and he gives her a kiss and she gets up and sits next to me and...okay we know where this goes.

But when we were at the coffee shop they told me a bunch of horror stories about things blowing up with couples who rush in including fights at meet ups when the husband who thought this is what he wanted loses his shit, women breaking down crying in the middle of sex because she didn't want it and thus husband was like one of these idiots who guilted her into doing something she never wanted to

Its no joke, but these people had their game, life and marriage together, they're the rarity.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Yeah, its a porn trope. I think it can last awhile, but jealousy always rears its head at some point. There was a woman on the forum a few years ago bragging about her husband and wife and their amazing polyamory relationship. She was married to the husband, the other woman was a friend from school she reconnected with years later and somehow became part of the relationship. About a year later, she no longer posted here, and I heard through the grapevine the whole thing blew up and all three went their ways

That's exactly the truth.
Somebody always ends up jealous, and truthfully I can understand that.
I personally only know 2 regular swinger couples and even they've gotten close to divorce.
Before my wife lost her drive, we visited a Swingers Club in LA and it's an absolute shit show.
It smelled of alcohol, sweat, cum, cigarettes, etc.
There were quite a few rude people as well.
I'm not judging, but, I personally don't see the appeal.

That's reality, you talk to real swingers they're the first to tell you its not for everyone. Talk to the fools here in the fetish forum and every couple is down for it.

I've also read on cultures where polyamorous relationships were common place. Some women having multible husbands, each with multible wives. It wasn't as taboo as say, a woman speaking or a man cooking. So who knows what they'd deem erotic.


As for a modern society, I'd see it as both a symptom of a greater underlying problem(s), and a recepie for disaster.

 

[Seadog777]

After my divorce and before I remarried, I was hitting adult friend finder and ended up talking to a woman, then her husband who were interested in me joining them. This couple had it right, the first time we met it was for coffee at a Dunkin where we talked for about an hour to see if there was a connection between her and I and if he was cool with me.

The conversation was not all sex and dirty talk, they wanted to get a feel for me as a person, and make sure they'd both be happy with the fit. We went our separate ways, then the husband called me the next night and invited me over that Friday, even that night I was on the couch alone, they were together and we had a drink and talked some more. After awhile she looks at him, and nods and he gives her a kiss and she gets up and sits next to me and...okay we know where this goes.

But when we were at the coffee shop they told me a bunch of horror stories about things blowing up with couples who rush in including fights at meet ups when the husband who thought this is what he wanted loses his shit, women breaking down crying in the middle of sex because she didn't want it and thus husband was like one of these idiots who guilted her into doing something she never wanted to

Its no joke, but these people had their game, life and marriage together, they're the rarity.

I've heard stories like that as well.
The 2 couples that I know, REALLY stress the importance of Communication throughout the whole thing and the Reconnection Phase.
When I was in the UK, I got involved with a couple. It went similar to what you experienced. We met at a pub a couple times first. Then we ended up at a hotel to have fun.
They never took a 3rd person to their martial bed. That was one of their rules for themselves.

 

[TxRad]

Cause you're old as fuck.

Yes, I am but what does that mean besides I've seen and done a lot in my time. Nothing like learning as you go.

 

[Seadog777]

I've also read on cultures where polyamorous relationships were common place. Some women having multible husbands, each with multible wives. It wasn't as taboo as say, a woman speaking or a man cooking. So who knows what they'd deem erotic.


As for a modern society, I'd see it as both a symptom of a greater underlying problem(s), and a recepie for disaster.

Multiple wives is common in the Eastern-Southeast Asia Countries as well as the Pacific Island Countries.
Even there where it's a centuries old tradition, there are problems.

 

[Maxiine]

Reading this made me think of Foxy Brown...

Perhaps showing my age, Adam West and Ertha Kitt.

In one of the comic book universes, Helena Wayne was the daughter of Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle Wayne (Catwoman).

 

[Maxiine]

Multiple wives is common in the Eastern-Southeast Asia Countries as well as the Pacific Island Countries.

It is in the US as well, sequential polygamy is widespread and among the well to do...well...being "civilized"...we call them mistresses, girlfriends, interns, personal secretaries, Goomah...

 

[lovecraft68]

Yes, I am but what does that mean besides I've seen and done a lot in my time. Nothing like learning as you go.

I'm just screwing with you, you know you're my idol. That and us one eyes have to stick together.

 

[lovecraft68]

Perhaps showing my age, Adam West and Ertha Kitt.

In one of the comic book universes, Helena Wayne was the daughter of Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle Wayne (Catwoman).

The Huntress, great character, she was on one the Earth's back before the Crises storyline united them all. Then of course years later they undid it...cause....I don't know

 

[lovecraft68]

It is in the US as well, sequential polygamy is widespread and among the well to do...well...being "civilized"...we call them mistresses, girlfriends, interns, personal secretaries, Goomah...

This made me think of an episode of the Sopranos where they find out one of the guys is gay "But he has a wife" and another yells "And he has a Goomah!"

Difference is in the other societies, its known. Here in the examples you gave its called cheating and a one way street because god forbid the guy with the three girls on the side finds out his wife has someone on the side.

Uh oh...better lay off this topic, I hear the first grunts of the cloven hooved LW incels in the background "Wahhhh people having sex outside the marriage"