2008 News & Views: Discussion and Announcements for the Survivorphile

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

It has been a long time since I was involved in a competition to see whose is was biggest, and I didn't expect to do it again. However, since I have been called out, here goes:

Without question, you are referring to me and the post I made earlier about the contest in 2004 and subsequently. I didn't mention any names, but I was referring to Jthserra, and nobody else. I am also only referring to stories, not poems. Although I do write some doggerel, I think of myself as being an author of dirty stories, with the poetry output being incidental. I pay very little attention to how my poems are doing, as far as score or anything else goes.

I don't know how many stories I read by J, but I do remember that I didn't care for any of them. They were not very erotic; they seemed pointless, and they should have been edited better. They were also short, which was probably a good thing. "Thown together" may have been a bit strong, but they were certainly not well-crafted.

An E does not interest me particularly. It just gives the trolls something to bomb. J does have two of them, one in "How to" and one in non-eotic. Neither of these categories holds more than minimal interest for me, so he can keep them. Neither of these enties has an H either. BFW has one E in Reviews & Essays and you have one for an actual story. I have none of them, and will probably never have one, because I don't follow the rules for literature, prefering to write stroke stories without much plot or character development.

However I do have two W fom last year. These and the H mean something, because they reflect enjoyment expressed by readers.

Essays and "How to" are included with stories, and I have 248, with 118 H, which is about 47.5% of the time. I didn't count how many combined stories and essays you and J and BFW have, but there are a lot of them. I did count the H because there aren't so many of them. J has 53; BFW has 36 and you have 35. That does not include poetry, because I have little interest in those categories.

I don't know how my percentage of compare with other prolific authors (By which I mean having 100 or more stories posted. J, BFW, you and I all have well over that many.) I do know I am well ahead of any of you three, although you all have more postings than I do. My goal is to write the dirtiest stories, not the most.

Red H's don't mean anything to me, George. As you well know, I once had 184 red H's until some of the seriously emotionally disturbed regulars on this site put a target on my back, which coincidentally coincided with me receiving a green E. How dare I?

My red H's were erased several times by jealous readers. To me, red H's shows me only how many in-house friends an author has. A red H really has little significance with how hot the story is. A red H should be a better barometer of how erotic and well written the story, only it is more a meter of popularity.

I know my stories. I know when I write a great story versus a not so great story because when I write a great story, they are unmercifully bashed. That's my barometer, George of good writing. When I received loads of 1 bombs, I know the emotionally disturbed regulars are jealous. They hate it when I write something better than they can write.

Nonetheless, I don't write for green E's, red H's or to be popular. I write because I must. This is my passion and Literotica has given me this outlet. I hope you receive red H's on everyone of your stories, George, if that shows you what a good writer you are. I don't need a red H for me to know when I've written a good story, I just know.

How's your E-book, George, that I helped you publish? Are you selling a lot of copies? I hope you are. Good luck to you.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Red H's don't mean anything to me, George. As you well know, I once had 184 red H's until some of the seriously emotionally disturbed regulars on this site put a target on my back, which coincidentally coincided with me receiving a green E. How dare I?

My red H's were erased several times by jealous readers. To me, red H's shows me only how many in-house friends an author has. A red H really has little significance with how hot the story is. A red H should be a better barometer of how erotic and well written the story, only it is more a meter of popularity.

I know my stories. I know when I write a great story versus a not so great story because when I write a great story, they are unmercifully bashed. That's my barometer, George of good writing. When I received loads of 1 bombs, I know the emotionally disturbed regulars are jealous. They hate it when I write something better than they can write.

Nonetheless, I don't write for green E's, red H's or to be popular. I write because I must. This is my passion and Literotica has given me this outlet. I hope you receive red H's on everyone of your stories, George, if that shows you what a good writer you are. I don't need a red H for me to know when I've written a good story, I just know.

How's your E-book, George, that I helped you publish? Are you selling a lot of copies? I hope you are. Good luck to you.

Hi, Freddie. I have no idea how many H you used to have. Until I got my most recent post prepared, I had never counted any, not even my own, although I have read you grousing about people "erasing" them from your stories.

An H doesn't mean all that much to me either, except it shows that readers are enjoying my stories, and I feel good about that. The best reward I get from writing smut is a PC or email from somebody telling me I got them hard or wet, or that she reads my stories while using a vibrator. Even if I don't get feedback, I still like to post here, but I do like to hear good things from readers.

I also can feel when I have turned out a good piece of smut. I think of my most recent tale as being one, and the emails I have gotten say that also. The score is not all that high, but it should increase.

Thanks for your concern about my ebooks. Sales are slow; my cut being less than $100 on two of them. Even so, that is more than I made from Lit.l

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Hi, Freddie. I have no idea how many H you used to have. Until I got my most recent post prepared, I had never counted any, not even my own, although I have read you grousing about people "erasing" them from your stories.

An H doesn't mean all that much to me either, except it shows that readers are enjoying my stories, and I feel good about that. The best reward I get from writing smut is a PC or email from somebody telling me I got them hard or wet, or that she reads my stories while using a vibrator. Even if I don't get feedback, I still like to post here, but I do like to hear good things from readers.

I also can feel when I have turned out a good piece of smut. I think of my most recent tale as being one, and the emails I have gotten say that also. The score is not all that high, but it should increase.

Thanks for your concern about my ebooks. Sales are slow; my cut being less than $100 on two of them. Even so, that is more than I made from Lit.l

Well, I agree with you there. The best way to tell when you've written something good is to receive an e-mail or feedback from someone who not only gives you a glowing comment but also leaves their e-mail address. Still, those are few and far in between. Nonetheless, it makes you feel that you were successful in touching someone...even if they are touching themselves while they are reading your story (lol).

As authors, we all write for the same reasons. We are all here for the same things. I never understood the in fighting here. I thought this site was the greatest thing since sliced bread when I discovered it. I was naive to think that I'd be warmly received as another writer who wanted to express himself. Instead, I was viewed as competitor who would still the attention from those writers who feel that it's important to win contest prizes, earn red H's, and amass green E's.

If they think that is all there is to writing, then they will never become good writers. This site forces me to write every day and in doing that, I get better every day. Then, when I read some of the stories of the other writers, that makes me realize what I'm doing wrong or doing right.

I think it would be a mistake to end the Survivor Contest because writers would not stretch their limits by writing a story in other categories. Had it not been for the Survivor Contest, I never would have written a gay or lesbian story or a transsexual story. Now, I'm glad that I have because taking the time to write the story gives you sensitivity to how others feel about their sexual orientation. It enlightens you by broadening your viewpoint of the lives of others.

 

[MungoParkIII]

It has been a long time since I was involved in a competition to see whose is biggest, and I didn't expect to do it again. However, since I have been called out, here goes:

Without question, you are referring to me and the post I made earlier about the contest in 2004 and subsequently. I didn't mention any names, but I was referring to Jthserra, and nobody else. I am also only referring to stories, not poems. Although I do write some doggerel, I think of myself as being an author of dirty stories, with the poetry output being incidental. I pay very little attention to how my poems are doing, as far as score or anything else goes.

I don't know how many stories I read by J, but I do remember that I didn't care for any of them. They were not very erotic; they seemed pointless, and they should have been edited better. They were also short, which was probably a good thing. "Thown together" may have been a bit strong, but they were certainly not well-crafted.

An E does not interest me particularly. It just gives the trolls something to bomb. J does have two of them, one in "How to" and one in non-eotic. Neither of these categories holds more than minimal interest for me, so he can keep them. Neither of these enties has an H either. BFW has one E in Reviews & Essays and you have one for an actual story. I have none of them, and will probably never have one, because I don't follow the rules for literature, prefering to write stroke stories without much plot or character development.

However I do have two W fom last year. These and the H mean something, because they reflect enjoyment expressed by readers.

Essays and "How to" are included with stories, and I have 248, with 118 H, which is about 47.5% of the time. I didn't count how many combined stories and essays you and J and BFW have, but there are a lot of them. I did count the H because there aren't so many of them. J has 53; BFW has 36 and you have 35. That does not include poetry, because I have little interest in those categories.

I don't know how my percentage of H compare with other prolific authors (By which I mean having 100 or more stories posted. J, BFW, you and I all have well over that many.) I do know I am well ahead of any of you three, although you all have more postings than I do. My goal is to write the dirtiest stories, not the most.

So based upon the fact that Jthserra has only 53 red Hs comared to your several hundred you surmise all his work is poorly written? Oh yes there's the two or three stories you have read by him that you didn't find erotic and thought were poorly crafted.

Oh, yes, you don't like non-erotic stories so the many Jthserra wrote are summarily dismissed without consideration. And the poetry you aren't interested in so again this work is simply not considered when you talk about the poor quality of his work. How-tos get lumped in there too.

The point I made was that you have denigrated a author's work calling it poorly written and not erotic based upon reading a handful of stories, oh yes and I guess the all those red Hs.

So yeah, whup out your schlong and show us all those red Hs your work has produced, keep complaining about the poor quality of stories, stories you don't even bother to read before calling them poor quality and tell us how wonderful your work is and I will go on believing you should have the common courtesy to read a story before you call it poorly written, regardless if it was written in fifteen minutes, an hour or six weeks.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

So based upon the fact that Jthserra has only 53 red Hs comared to your several hundred you surmise all his work is poorly written? Oh yes there's the two or three stories you have read by him that you didn't find erotic and thought were poorly crafted.

Oh, yes, you don't like non-erotic stories so the many Jthserra wrote are summarily dismissed without consideration. And the poetry you aren't interested in so again this work is simply not considered when you talk about the poor quality of his work. How-tos get lumped in there too.

The point I made was that you have denigrated a author's work calling it poorly written and not erotic based upon reading a handful of stories, oh yes and I guess the all those red Hs.

So yeah, whup out your schlong and show us all those red Hs your work has produced, keep complaining about the poor quality of stories, stories you don't even bother to read before calling them poor quality and tell us how wonderful your work is and I will go on believing you should have the common courtesy to read a story before you call it poorly written, regardless if it was written in fifteen minutes, an hour or six weeks.

Actually...about half my stories are non-erotic. As in life, it's not always about sex. Now, I don't know what beef you have with George, Mungo, apparently it happened before I was even here. Yet, we should forgive and forget. We are all here for the same things...to write.

You've made your point and George responded. It's done. Now, let's move forward.

By the way, I received my check from Nancy Armstrong for the rights to my story in her book, the Big Bad Ass Book of Sex. She told me that her book was delayed until 2010. Did she pay you? I know she bought a couple of your stories and poems. I enjoyed the Breakfast of Champions, by the way. (I hope that was yours...lol.)

I've been tryin to conjole another writer from Massachusetts to join the Survivor Contest, but without success. He has posted more stories than I have. I don't understand why he wouldn't want free money. Definitely, he place in the top 3. He could even win this year's Survivor's contest. Oh, well...

 

[Boxlicker101]

So based upon the fact that Jthserra has only 53 red Hs comared to your several hundred you surmise all his work is poorly written? Oh yes there's the two or three stories you have read by him that you didn't find erotic and thought were poorly crafted.

No, I surmise that the readers don't think all that much of his stories. I didn't think all that much of the ones I read, for reasons I stated earlier.

Oh, yes, you don't like non-erotic stories so the many Jthserra wrote are summarily dismissed without consideration. And the poetry you aren't interested in so again this work is simply not considered when you talk about the poor quality of his work. How-tos get lumped in there too.

I don't care for non-erotic stories here and I'm not a fan of poetry that is written in the style of most of them here, so I didn't read the ones by J or by you or by anybody else. They might have been wonderful; I have no way of knowing. I wrote a few non-eotic stories for the Survivor Contest, and some doggerel because it's fun to do, but I don't take either seriously.

The point I made was that you have denigrated a author's work calling it poorly written and not erotic based upon reading a handful of stories, oh yes and I guess the all those red Hs.

That is called sampling. If you have a lage number of items, you can get a good idea of the quality of them by examining a few. If the sample you inspect is all of poor quality, you can surmise that most of the others are too. I really don't feel like reading hundreds of stories, especially when I didn't enjoy the few I did read.

So yeah, whup out your schlong and show us all those red Hs your work has produced, keep complaining about the poor quality of stories, stories you don't even bother to read before calling them poor quality and tell us how wonderful your work is and I will go on believing you should have the common courtesy to read a story before you call it poorly written, regardless if it was written in fifteen minutes, an hour or six weeks.

This is why I don't like to get into measuring contests.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

This is why I don't like to get into measuring contests.

Measuring contests? It's impossible to measure someone's writing, so long as they know the basics and know how to draft a story. It's all arbitrary. What you may like I may hate and vice versa. Besides, even many of the great writers have not realized their success until after their death, which is why I so look forward to dying (lol)...I think.

"I remember Freddie, he was...an adequate writer."

"But...he's dead. Shouldn't he be a better writer now?"

"Nah, he's just an adequate writer who is dead."

Damn, and I thought that I would finally achieve greatness with the death of me. Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to hang around here for another fifty years writing thousands more stories (lol).

 

[Boxlicker101]

Well, I agree with you there. The best way to tell when you've written something good is to receive an e-mail or feedback from someone who not only gives you a glowing comment but also leaves their e-mail address. Still, those are few and far in between. Nonetheless, it makes you feel that you were successful in touching someone...even if they are touching themselves while they are reading your story (lol).

As authors, we all write for the same reasons. We are all here for the same things. I never understood the in fighting here. I thought this site was the greatest thing since sliced bread when I discovered it. I was naive to think that I'd be warmly received as another writer who wanted to express himself. Instead, I was viewed as competitor who would still the attention from those writers who feel that it's important to win contest prizes, earn red H's, and amass green E's.

If they think that is all there is to writing, then they will never become good writers. This site forces me to write every day and in doing that, I get better every day. Then, when I read some of the stories of the other writers, that makes me realize what I'm doing wrong or doing right.

I think it would be a mistake to end the Survivor Contest because writers would not stretch their limits by writing a story in other categories. Had it not been for the Survivor Contest, I never would have written a gay or lesbian story or a transsexual story. Now, I'm glad that I have because taking the time to write the story gives you sensitivity to how others feel about their sexual orientation. It enlightens you by broadening your viewpoint of the lives of others.

I agree. The best kind of feedback is an email, especially from a woman, telling me that she masturbated to one of my stories or that she and her SO have sex while reading them. It's particularly good if she includes an email addess and we communicate. Sometimes I copy one of these in a thread we have about feedback that is good to get, but I never include the address.

I really don't like the infighting here either, except sometimes on the political theads. I write for my own enjoyment and for that of readers. I have no animosity toward anybody, including you. However, you seemed to be almost paranoid when you were complaining that other authors were "erasing" your H. Except maybe sometimes in theme contests, other authors will not bomb your stories, and will actually give advice and help to anybody who asks for it. Even when I or they get tired of your griping, they won't do it. There is no competition for H or E; their number is infinite.

I would also not want to see the contests end. I enjoy writing in a variety of categories, and trying new things. When I started writing in the TS category, I started a corespondence with a T-girl, and am writing a series, which is portrayed as her biogaphy. My first lesbian stories were not well done, and I have written more, that I believe are much better. I like to think that the Survivor Contest helps me improve as a writer of smut.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Yes, the contest is now closed to new entrants.

As far as the conversation that comes up every year about the quality of the stories of the top finishers. The majority of those speak for themselves with their Es, Hs, Ws, and monthly nominations.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Yes, the contest is now closed to new entrants.

As far as the conversation that comes up every year about the quality of the stories of the top finishers. The majority of those speak for themselves with their Es, Hs, Ws, and monthly nominations.

quality?

damn. i'm going home.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I agree. The best kind of feedback is an email, especially from a woman, telling me that she masturbated to one of my stories or that she and her SO have sex while reading them. It's particularly good if she includes an email addess and we communicate. Sometimes I copy one of these in a thread we have about feedback that is good to get, but I never include the address.

I really don't like the infighting here either, except sometimes on the political theads. I write for my own enjoyment and for that of readers. I have no animosity toward anybody, including you. However, you seemed to be almost paranoid when you were complaining that other authors were "erasing" your H. Except maybe sometimes in theme contests, other authors will not bomb your stories, and will actually give advice and help to anybody who asks for it. Even when I or they get tired of your griping, they won't do it. There is no competition for H or E; their number is infinite.

I would also not want to see the contests end. I enjoy writing in a variety of categories, and trying new things. When I started writing in the TS category, I started a corespondence with a T-girl, and am writing a series, which is portrayed as her biogaphy. My first lesbian stories were not well done, and I have written more, that I believe are much better. I like to think that the Survivor Contest helps me improve as a writer of smut.

Paranoia is a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Now, in the case of my red H's, that wasn't paranoia. It was reality. To have 184 red H's one day and then to have 29 the next day is not being paranoid. It is being unjustly bashed...and this happened several times.

There was a concerted and orchestrated effort with one or a few insane people going through my stories and writing negative comments on every single story along with a one bomb. Hey, I have a thick skin. I can take a negative comment, but when someone writes the word "shit" a hundred times on hundreds of your stories, how can you call that being paranoid?

Perhaps, if that had happened to your stories, you'd understand and wouldn't call me paranoid.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Paranoia is a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Now, in the case of my red H's, that wasn't paranoia. It was reality. To have 184 red H's one day and then to have 29 the next day is not being paranoid. It is being unjustly bashed...and this happened several times.

There was a concerted and orchestrated effort with one or a few insane people going through my stories and writing negative comments on every single story along with a one bomb. Hey, I have a thick skin. I can take a negative comment, but when someone writes the word "shit" a hundred times on hundreds of your stories, how can you call that being paranoid?

Perhaps, if that had happened to your stories, you'd understand and wouldn't call me paranoid.

ZZzzzz leave box alone. you do go on a bit.

 

[MungoParkIII]

By the way, I received my check from Nancy Armstrong for the rights to my story in her book, the Big Bad Ass Book of Sex. She told me that her book was delayed until 2010. Did she pay you? I know she bought a couple of your stories and poems. I enjoyed the Breakfast of Champions, by the way. (I hope that was yours...lol.)

I got my check back in the spring, since then I have simply been waiting for the free copy of the book. Last I had heard from her publication was set for the 1st quarter 2009. I hope I am still young enough to enjoy the erotica in the book when it finally does get published.

Breakfast of Champions? No, I am not familiar with that one.

MPIII

 

[Boxlicker101]

ZZzzzz leave box alone. you do go on a bit.

Like everybody else, my stories get one-bombed.

 

[starrkers]

ZZzzzz leave box alone. you do go on a bit.

Of course Box copped a spray, he had the nerve to suggest our friend may be a little overdramatic.

Like everybody else, my stories get one-bombed.

Oh, but not like his do It becomes background noise eventually.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Like everybody else, my stories get one-bombed.

as do we all.

Of course Box copped a spray, he had the nerve to suggest our friend may be a little overdramatic.


Oh, but not like his do It becomes background noise eventually.

overdramatic?

fuck me, whine whine whine...

...and i'm not even an AH reg. but i can still hear the high pitched moan over here, FFS.

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[geronimo_appleby]

You don't have to go home at all. There is a rule that only one competitor can be told they are writing crap and should shoot themselves in the head. Only one of us has a lack of quality to their stories - that's me. You're safe

Erin

P.S. I think of the restaurant Applebees everytime I see your name.. Mmmm...

i was joking. i think all my stories are great. everyone else's should be one-bombed.

i am the king of the world! but you all hate me. why? why do you hate me?

erm...

sorry, was dropping into bostonworld there. sorry.

i'm all better now.

*ahem*.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I got my check back in the spring, since then I have simply been waiting for the free copy of the book. Last I had heard from her publication was set for the 1st quarter 2009. I hope I am still young enough to enjoy the erotica in the book when it finally does get published.

Breakfast of Champions? No, I am not familiar with that one.

MPIII

You're not familiar with Breakfast of Champions? Something suddenly smells around here (again) and it's not fish. That's odd, since you earned a green E on that poem.

Now, I'm intimate with all of my stories and poems and if anyone was to refer to anyone of them by name or by character, I could recall them. I don't understand you not being familiar with your poem, especially one that earned a green E, unless...

Oh, no, the plot thickens...again. Truly, this is unbelievable. Wait until Scouries gets a hold of this.

Did you write it? Perhaps, you didn't write it. Perhaps, it was written by someone else and posted in your name. I knew it. So...there was a conspiracy last year to cheat me out of the Survivor Contest win. Aha!

And there was a second shooter behind the grassy knoll. And it is true that McCain enjoys wearing women's panties when he's giving speeches and that his beautiful wife is...really a man in drag. I knew it.

Come clean, Mungo. Fess up. You ain't got nothin' to lose now, buddy. It's best you have a clear conscience about the 2007 Survivor Contest. Don't worry, I won't kick the shit out of you...much.

"Laurel, I'd like a recount on the 2007 Survivor Contest. Mungo doesn't remember writing any of his stories and poems."

Call me crazy, but I'm willing to bet that your name is not even MungoParkIII. I knew it!

So when I received those e-mails in August of last year telling me that the AH regulars were conspiring to take the contest from me by writing and posting stories and poems under one name, a street address in England, 3 Mungo Park, they were right. Were they not? Come clean and just answer the question.

"I have your mother here, Mungo."

"Please Mungo, tell bostonfictionwriter the truth, son. I can't live with your lies anymore."

"Listen Mungo, if you ever want to see your mother alive again, you'd better come clean."

"What's that? She's not your mother and you don't care if we take her for a ride off a short pier while wearing cement boots? Why Mungo, why?"

"Because when I was a baby, I switched the name tags on my bassinette in the maternity ward in the hospital. I knew this broad was rich, so murses thought that I was her baby, the nurse gave me to her."

"So, all your life, Mungo, you've been cheating. Wait, not so fast. Before you go, you owe me $500 and leave the 6 foot Survivor trophy, the silver Survivor satin jacket, the silver Survivor sweatshirt and t-shirt, the silver Survivor baseball cap, and the silver Survivor keychain to the silver Survivor Mini Cooper S. They're mine. Now, beat it, loser."

Well, you've all just heard it all here. MungoPark just admitted that he didn't remember writing any of those stories and poems. I knew it all along. Finally, I feel free. Wait. Where are you all going? Don't you care? Hello? Gees, suddenly, there's an echo here. Hey, at least I got the silver Survivor Mini Cooper. I'll have to scratch his name off the dashboard badge, but that's okay.

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[MungoParkIII]

You're not familiar with Breakfast of Champions? Something suddenly smells around here (again) and it's not fish. That's odd, since you earned a green E on that poem.

Now, I'm intimate with all of my stories and poems and if anyone was to refer to anyone of them by name or by character, I could recall them. I don't understand you not being familiar with your poem, especially one that earned a green E, unless...

Oh, no, the plot thickens...again. Truly, this is unbelievable. Wait until Scouries gets a hold of this.

Did you write it? Perhaps, you didn't write it. Perhaps, it was written by someone else and posted in your name. I knew it. So...there was a conspiracy last year to cheat me out of the Survivor Contest win. Aha!

And there was a second shooter behind the grassy knoll. And it is true that McCain enjoys wearing women's panties when he's giving speeches and that his beautiful wife is...really a man in drag. I knew it.

Come clean, Mungo. Fess up. You ain't got nothin' to lose now, buddy. It's best you have a clear conscience about the 2007 Survivor Contest. Don't worry, I won't kick the shit out of you...much.

"Laurel, I'd like a recount on the 2007 Survivor Contest. Mungo doesn't remember writing any of his stories and poems."

Call me crazy, but I'm willing to bet that your name is not even MungoParkIII. I knew it!

So when I received those e-mails in August of last year telling me that the AH regulars were conspiring to take the contest from me by writing and posting stories and poems under one name, a street address in England, 3 Mungo Park, they were right. Were they not? Come clean and just answer the question.

"I have your mother here, Mungo."

"Please Mungo, tell bostonfictionwriter the truth, son. I can't live with your lies anymore."

"Listen Mungo, if you ever want to see your mother alive again, you'd better come clean."

"What's that? She's not your mother and you don't care if we take her for a ride off a short pier while wearing cement boots? Why Mungo, why?"

"Because when I was a baby, I switched the name tags on my bassinette in the maternity ward in the hospital. I knew this broad was rich, so murses thought that I was her baby, the nurse gave me to her."

"So, all your life, Mungo, you've been cheating. Wait, not so fast. Before you go, you owe me $500 and leave the 6 foot Survivor trophy, the silver Survivor satin jacket, the silver Survivor sweatshirt and t-shirt, the silver Survivor baseball cap, and the silver Survivor keychain to the silver Survivor Mini Cooper S. They're mine. Now, beat it, loser."

Well, you've all just heard it all here. MungoPark just admitted that he didn't remember writing any of those stories and poems. I knew it all along. Finally, I feel free. Wait. Where are you all going? Don't you care? Hello? Gees, suddenly, there's an echo here. Hey, at least I got the silver Survivor Mini Cooper. I'll have to scratch his name off the dashboard badge, but that's okay.

Within the context of the stories sold to Nancy Armstrong you asked me about a story called "Breakfast of Champions." I sold eight stories to Nancy for the book and none were called "Breakfast of Champions" and I haven't written a story by that title. I wondered how you got a list of the stories that she bought and got to read any of it.

As far as the poem "Breakfast of Champions", it was written on the day Kurt Vonnegut died. The night before I had finished reading his book, Breakfast of Champions and when I learned of his death the following morning I wrote the poem. I'll leaf through a few of my notebooks and see if I can find a working copy.

MPIII

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Within the context of the stories sold to Nancy Armstrong you asked me about a story called "Breakfast of Champions." I sold eight stories to Nancy for the book and none were called "Breakfast of Champions" and I haven't written a story by that title. I wondered how you got a list of the stories that she bought and got to read any of it.

As far as the poem "Breakfast of Champions", it was written on the day Kurt Vonnegut died. The night before I had finished reading his book, Breakfast of Champions and when I learned of his death the following morning I wrote the poem. I'll leaf through a few of my notebooks and see if I can find a working copy.

MPIII

By the way, Mungo, the silver Survivor Mini Copper S that you returned to me, as you rightfully should have, has over 50,000 miles. It needs new tires, a new clutch, and brakes. What the Hell did you do to that car. You only had it for 10 months.

By the way, all the Survivor gear, the t-shirt, sweatshirt, and jacket, especially the jacket is way too small. I take a 2XL in Jackets. I'm kind of muscular.

I apologize for the confusion. Still, you must admit, what I wrote was funny.

 

[PrincessErin]

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