a companion to 30 in 30

[DeepAsleep]

That, was really something. Very vivid in a totally non-intrusive way.

thanks. I was trying to illustrate a mood/timeframe more than a real instant. There's some tweaks to be done, somewhere, but that's writing poems.

Thank you.

 

[DeepAsleep]

Ps

I like to do this with pieces I like:

~~~~~~~~

You stepped out of a back seat dense with charred music bending sensitive speakers out of shape, burst into my balance, as if you had that right. You wore a purple, white and charcoal map to the stars under a transparent robe of cutting-edge will and four letter words, you spoke of dangerous things in an alien accent, and an almost shy pink tongue wet your wicked grin, pretending it was mine.

There's no stopping your left foot from tapping a bee dance story far removed from the sweet venom pouring out of your mouth.

Whether you'll stab me with an open palm or slap me with a stainless blade this time, there's kevlar and iodine just beneath this deceptive tissue, and it's been years since I remembered how to bleed those pretty puddles you used to jump in with such glee.

Come inside and scream your senses smooth again, I can play your voodoo cushion if it does the job. Don't think you're fooling anyone, you taught me so well, every nuance of your sickly sweet melody, every sliver of breath you wrapped your beauty in to avoid being human. But you always were and you'll wake up tomorrow, the taste of scotch and sweat still clinging, stretch sore limbs to the ceiling, and soak up the dawn.

Then leave me where I lay, cut and bruised, but never broken, to wait another year.

~~~~~~~

That's what my eyeballs sez.

 

[Liar]

Heh. Interresting. It took me three reads to see what you snipped. Smoove editing, there.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

There are some really wonderful poems happening over there on the 30 in 30 thread, I must say. I've joined all your fan clubs. Or would have. Maybe some day I'll see if I have that kind of stamina. In the meantime, I've really enjoyed reading DA, WSO and Liar's poems there. Bravo.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I like to do this with pieces I like:

~~~~~~~~
***
~~~~~~~

That's what my eyeballs sez.

That is one of the better arguments I've seen for using complete sentences in poems. I've always been in favor of doing so, as a general rule.

excellent work.

bj

 

[Tzara]

There are some really wonderful poems happening over there on the 30 in 30 thread, I must say. I've joined all your fan clubs. Or would have. Maybe some day I'll see if I have that kind of stamina. In the meantime, I've really enjoyed reading DA, WSO and Liar's poems there. Bravo.

Let me echo PG. (We will not pause, at least for very long, to ponder who let PG into an NC-17 site. It's simply one of those "odd quirks of fate," I guess.) This is some fine and tasty kick-ass poetry y'all are turning out.

I'd say I'm jealous, but that would be stating the obvious. Not that I am not often obvious, since obviously I am. Or something.

No matter. Let me in any case emphatically say I am way impressed, and eager for more.

Good stuff, all.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Let me echo PG. (We will not pause, at least for very long, to ponder who let PG into an NC-17 site. It's simply one of those "odd quirks of fate," I guess.)

To keep myself from getting carded and to save confusing me with Paris Garters, maybe you could call me Dora.

 

[Angeline]

she speaks a concordance
of quiet bullets.
there are no straightjackets
in the crematorium.
when the wind blows,
find me home.

there are no straight jackets.
find me home.

find me home,
when the wind blows,
her tarot fingered heart
blows smoke from below.
i cannot manage dying,
in a place like this.

she speaks a concordance,
when the wind blows;
of quiet bullets
in the crematorium
when the wind blows,
blows smoke from below,
find me home.
i cannot manage dying,
in a place like this.
her tarot fingered heart
of quiet bullets,
when the wind blows,
she speaks a concordance.


(Dude, don't ask. I just wanted to try something out.)

Ask what? It's good, it's interesting (albeit sad given your revelation in the blog yesterday). I think what I like most about it is that you've made it sound like a form poem, but it isn't. Interesting. I've never seen that before.

 

[DeepAsleep]

Ask what? It's good, it's interesting (albeit sad given your revelation in the blog yesterday). I think what I like most about it is that you've made it sound like a form poem, but it isn't. Interesting. I've never seen that before.

thanks, I think. I'm not sure if I like it, overall - i thought it would be an interesting idea, and technically speaking, it feels like a win, but i think I could do it better. practice.

 

[DeepAsleep]

This -

He tells us stories of wildfires that
never burned, phantom years in the navy
and adventures on distant shores
he only ever saw on tv. And how
the neighbor's dog, which doesn't
exist, keeps him up at night
with its barking, and how someone
steals his mail. Business spys, most
certainly coveting the clients
he never had.

And then,

We went there, you know. To Naples,
on our very first vacation after marrying,
back in '55.

I glance up and grandma, and she nods. Before

*click* - 12 seconds this time

it's gone. And the former boxer remembers
his archery career.


Is AMAZING.

By the way.

 

[Liar]

Thanks. I wasn't quite sure I'd gotten the story across. It still feels a bit sluggish when I read it myself.

 

[TheRainMan]

30


puddles level the ground
reflections walk on water

(work in progress, as are all the rest)

just finished reading your 30, Kiwi. really enjoyed.

thanks for them.

 

[TheRainMan]

Liar and Deep Asleep --

some really interesting poems up there. you both have style,

and styles that are your own.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

4degrees, it's lovely to see you back in the 30/30 again, and to see that thread staying alive.

bj

 

[4degrees]

thank you bijou.
yes i like to keep it alive, too.

 

[Eluard]

Phew!/Fuck! I had to dig a long way back to bump up this thread!

Great stuff Pandora, 4degrees and A Child. Good to see the marathon runners starting out with a big lungs!

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Thank you, Eluard. And now with Anna on board, we're really rolling.

 

[Eluard]

Thank you, Eluard. And now with Anna on board, we're really rolling.

Yes, four in the race — though this is all about the loneliness of the long distance runner (to quote an old novel!)

(Something tells me that Curt will only go to 22. )

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks to all of you who've returned the 30 in 30 thread to a vital source of excellent poetry on this forum. I'm enjoying your poems immensely.

 

[annaswirls]

this is killing me! but at least there is good company

 

[manipulatrix]

.....

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Manipulatrix, your fucking time analogy is really fun to read. Great stuff. Keep it up. I've loved everyone's poems so far.

 

[manipulatrix]

.....

 

[manipulatrix]

......

 

[Angeline]

~Rough from all of a sudden thread- will edit~

clever title including cable tv

fashion designer and side kick model
strip young Mom's closet of all capris
and tee shirts

he has a list
10 items for a woman's closet
essential white shirt
give me a break

no I will not scold my toddler
for hugging me with spaghetti stained
fingers tear and snot marks when only
Mommy can hold it together make it better no
Mr. Gunn

No. I will not wear a white dress
to walk my black dog.


wake up 2 am with baby
feed baby
3 am fall asleep with him still attached
4 am wake up with older son who repeats
play computer play computer
go snuggle mommy
5 am
thunder storm
dog goes crazy
wakes baby
husband snores
feed baby
pump breasts because doctor said so
wash bottles
use toes and a paper towel
to clean spit up from floor
because if I bend over to do it
he will puke again
(and now it is not the only clean spot on the floor)
change wet clothes
change baby
6 am make breakfast
pack lunch
make breakfast again
pack a lunch again
wipe counter
give kisses
7 am lie down and try to get another hour of sleep (3 a night is not enough)
They told me, rest is important
Take care of yourself.
Take care of your children's mother

8:30 baby wakes up
change baby
nurse baby while watching Tim Gunn throw away the mother's capris and tee shirts
because they are so unattractive
clean up spit up off floor
wipe spit up off shirt
don't change it this time, you can survive a wet slimy tee shirt
until, well, until when?
where is your classic trouser now?
your cashmere sweater?

9:30 am baby happy, on play mat, this will last 5-10 maybe 15 minutes
pump breasts because the doctor said to
wash bottles
pee really quickly while baby cries
hungry forgot to make my own breakfast when when?
when when would I have done it?

10:30 give baby expressed milk
The make up girl on the tv says it is important
take time for yourself
how can you not find 15 minutes to apply makeup?
Fuck you make up girl.
Come to my house.
change diaper
get baby dressed
wash bottles and breast pump while he kicks
under the mobile

Rachel Ray told me
home cooked meals do not have to take long to prepare
and she is right
I cook a bowl of raisin bran crunch soaked in organic milk
because I eat it so fast it steams
while baby cries
Rock baby
sing to baby
sweet sweet baby sleep.....

Sit down
Breathe.
Write poem just to say Fuck You Tim, Stacey, Clinton
Kiss my fat, capri clad ass

but do it quick because I have two hours to do 5 hours of work

oh I forgot, they say sleep while the baby sleeps
fuck you

This is good, J. I can really relate to your subject though I only raised two children. But I remember so well those middle of the night feedings while I stared at the happy, shiny people on TV and felt like an alien in comparison to them. It's just a pleasure to see you writing again--you haven't lost your twisty, truthy gift at all. And I'm impressed that you're in the 30/30 thread. You go, mama!

PS I'm obsessed with Tim and Stacey and Clinton. The last two especially, I'm in love with. I want the bank card with the 5k and the hair appointment with Nick Arrojo. Lol. I tell Terry that every time I watch that show--that if I win the lottery I'ma go to New York for one of those $500 consultations with Nick. And I'll buy the right kind of jeans!

Welcome home.