A serious discussion about BDSM and weight

[Netzach]

Insightful. Wow. This is a really good point. We're a bunch of endorphin junkies, so food endorphin boosting makes sense.



I break the curve on this one. Powerlifting does that. "It's not fat, it's leverage. It helps ya lift more, ya bastard!" So I'm fat and still active. Yay.

Not only do you lift, but you describe your job as somewhat non-sedentary. That one makes a huge difference, in the Framingham MA study that was often the difference between the twins, one would be a mailman and one would be totally sedentary. My top is padded, but very muscular and athletic in *addition* to liking steak and scotch and all those fun things. He's athletic to the point of changing his general shape - about 5'8'' and smallish wrists but a 17 neck and very barrel chested.

We were just discussing this this AM.

Me: "you'd rather work out like a maniac and not cut your food, whereas I'd rather cut my food, because my food's been absurd."

Him: "yeah."

Me: "I am walking a lot more. I mean, I plan on cutting food till it's absurd in the other direction, then I get into working out so I don't have to go crazy."

 

[the captians wench]

two reasons why weight probs could be a little more prevalent on the bottom end: on the maso side, the pleasure glutton/addict theory spelled out by Netz. on the submissive side, maybe lack of motivation. i've noticed many submissives suddenly drop a great deal of weight once they get into a serious relationship...maybe all they need is a demanding Dominant to come along to whip them into shape, or even just to say that it matters to them. Daddy has served as a mentor to quite a few submissives over the years, and the chunky ones have always lost weight (and managed to keep it off) at his suggestion. i know that if he weren't my Master, and instead i were owned by someone who was like "oh you're fine as you are," i'd probably totally slack in the fitness and diet departments and be a little roly poly subbie by now.

I think it's still an endorphin thing. It's just replacing one endorphin for another. Same in tops as well.

I know me personally, when I'm not getting sex, or pain play in any sort of frequency, I tend to eat more and eat more sweets at that. Namely chocolate. If I'm getting regular pain play, I don't eat as much. Same with sex. But I need one or the other to combat the urge to eat everything in sight. So if I'm in a relationship (be it serious or casual) then I will eat less. But I gain and loose weight funny so I can't say that I will loose weight in a relationship, but I do at least maintain.

I think tops have the same tendancies. They need sex, or sado activities to release those happy endorphins that we subbies like too. So when they are not getting it, they'll go for something to replace that need, ie food.

now I'd like to think that the domly types are all mighty and will resist temptation, but the fact is they are human and do have faults.

But like i said, I haven't noticed a disporpotionate amount of BDSMer's that are overweight as compaired to 'nillas, online and off.

 

[Etoile]

I like the theory on the high from food being the same as the high from flogging or whatever. It's a lot more subconscious, though, when you're talking about food...but it explains perfectly why people eat "comfort foods" or practice emotional eating when they're distressed.

 

[Homburg]

Not only do you lift, but you describe your job as somewhat non-sedentary. That one makes a huge difference, in the Framingham MA study that was often the difference between the twins, one would be a mailman and one would be totally sedentary. My top is padded, but very muscular and athletic in *addition* to liking steak and scotch and all those fun things. He's athletic to the point of changing his general shape - about 5'8'' and smallish wrists but a 17 neck and very barrel chested.

We were just discussing this this AM.

Me: "you'd rather work out like a maniac and not cut your food, whereas I'd rather cut my food, because my food's been absurd."

Him: "yeah."

Me: "I am walking a lot more. I mean, I plan on cutting food till it's absurd in the other direction, then I get into working out so I don't have to go crazy."

Exactly, though lately my food has sucked, and I've been more sedentary than not, thus more padding than usual. Ugh. Still, I was healthy enough to do a fair amount of walking in high altitude over the weekend. Thin air fucks my sea-level self up, but I did pretty well considering. Now, if I were riding a bike like I like to? Total collapse, lungs shrieking for real air, gasping like a landed fish. Of course this makes me want to bring my bike with me then next time I visit just to see if that will happen, or if my VO2 uptake and general biking efficiency will make cycling easier than walking. It's one of my rare maso areas...


----

I think tops have the same tendancies. They need sex, or sado activities to release those happy endorphins that we subbies like too. So when they are not getting it, they'll go for something to replace that need, ie food.

now I'd like to think that the domly types are all mighty and will resist temptation, but the fact is they are human and do have faults.

Little Debbie, that fucking jezebel temptress whore. She calls to me, with honeyed words and siren songs of... Zebra Cakes *shudder*

God, I feel dirty just thinking about them.

But like i said, I haven't noticed a disporpotionate amount of BDSMer's that are overweight as compaired to 'nillas, online and off.

As I said before, my local group is not particularly heavy. I'm on the big side for the male tops in the group, with most of them being slim. The msubs likewise are all on the slender side, and the FDoms range. The fsubs tend towards a little heavy, though only a couple are truly obese.

 

[Etoile]

Having met you, Homburg, I would say you look closer to a football linebacker or a bouncer than a fat person. Which is to say you might have more pounds, but they're all put to good use.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Edited.

 

[Homburg]

Having met you, Homburg, I would say you look closer to a football linebacker or a bouncer than a fat person. Which is to say you might have more pounds, but they're all put to good use.

You, m'dear lady, are entirely too kind. Thank you.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Edited.

 

[Homburg]

You want to willfully misunderstand me, go right ahead.

VelvetDarkness, come now, "Rose + Foot = Spleen". Everyone knows this.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

You, m'dear lady, are entirely too kind. Thank you.

Well I'm glad you're still popular hon.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

VelvetDarkness, come now, "Rose + Foot = Spleen". Everyone knows this.

Ah bollocks to it. I should know better than to give a shit. Everything I've said has been stomped all over, should have given up on having an opinion a while back. Didn't expect it to be popular so I guess I'm not surprised.

 

[Homburg]

Well I'm glad you're still popular hon.

And you are still popular with me. What else, pray tell, could you possible need?

Ah bollocks to it. I should know better than to give a shit.

Pish tosh, of course you should. You said we could willfully misunderstand you, so I did. I'm friendly like that.

 

[the captians wench]

ya know, this wouldn't be an issue if we went back to hunting and growing our own food.

Of course, I'd need to marry a really good hunter/farmer. Every plant I touch dies.

 

[cherokee_dove]

ya know, this wouldn't be an issue if we went back to hunting and growing our own food.

Of course, I'd need to marry a really good hunter/farmer. Every plant I touch dies.

Then wenchie, i got some poison ivy out back you come deal with...lol

 

[the captians wench]

Then wenchie, i got some poison ivy out back you come deal with...lol

*giggles*

I think I'm one of those weird people who are not affected by it anyway.

 

[cherokee_dove]

*giggles*

I think I'm one of those weird people who are not affected by it anyway.

Lucky you! My eyes seem to swell shut the minute i brush against the stuff.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

And you are still popular with me. What else, pray tell, could you possible need?

Um... a plane ticket across the pond?

 

[Homburg]

Um... a plane ticket across the pond?

Damn, you know just how to talk all sexy. Rawr.

 

[graceanne]

*giggles*

I think I'm one of those weird people who are not affected by it anyway.

I used to be like that. Whenever we had poison oak or ivy Mom would have me pull it out. Then one day BAM I found a little patch and had such a bad reaction that they had to put me on a 10 day dose of prednisone, cause my eyes were swelled completely shut.

Well I'm glad you're still popular hon.

I don't know what you edited, but just cause we don't agree and what you said irritated me (and probably what I said irritated you), doesn't mean I don't like you. I'd hope we're both mature enough to agree to disagree. What's said in this thread stays in this thread and all that. Well, unless you flat out call me a fat bitch, but even then I'd just put you on iggy.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I have a theory, because I've noticed the crowd tends to be on the larger side. I'm not so sure it's not true of most crowds, though, but it's a theory FWIW. The men in my group tend just as much toward plus sizing ranges, BTW.

Look at the chemical reactions MD's attribute to vigorous activity, in terms of the brain chemistry.

Look at what masochistic painplayers attribute to a good beating, in terms of brain chemistry.

Look at what a twinkie gives your brain for a short duration.

Same shit, different delivery.

As for "why the tops too" generally people are attracted to people in corresponding H/W caegories, I find. You'll tend to find larger people in couples and more fit people in couples because of the common interests, and let's face it, people tend to eat the same thing together.

Must say that this is one of those theories that really could have merit. And again, there are those who get what they need via a variety of means, so some gain through the food part while others get it from other means. I'd have to think about what those other means might be. But definitely something to think about some more.

 

[BeachGurl2]

you keep calling yourself fat, but it's clear you're very active and fit. i can't see you getting winded weilding a flogger for instance...lol. the awareness you have of health and diet, and the self-discipline it takes to dedicate yourself to a fitness regimen like power lifting, are reflective of your dominance, even if your weight doesn't fall within what dated medical standards says it shoudld.

so, you would not fall under the category of seriously overweight and out-of-shape lifestylers, imho.

I have to say that this has been my impression as well. I believe there is a big difference between someone who is fit and large, and someone who is totally out of shape. I gave my friend as an example earlier in the thread. She's 200+ pounds, 5'3" and rides her bike 14 miles a day, 4 days a week on average. Hills, not flat road - she lives in the mountains. Can't lost weight. If I had to ride a bike a mile, I'd probably collapse. I'm in good enough shape to do some hiking, swimming, etc., but biking? Nope.

And if Etoile thinks you look like a linebacker, frankly, that's right up my personal preference alley.

 

[Etoile]

I don't know what you edited, but just cause we don't agree and what you said irritated me (and probably what I said irritated you), doesn't mean I don't like you. I'd hope we're both mature enough to agree to disagree. What's said in this thread stays in this thread and all that. Well, unless you flat out call me a fat bitch, but even then I'd just put you on iggy.

I know I've said this exact thing before. A thread's debate is just that, a thread's debate. Doesn't reflect how I feel about a person. And actually, I'd be mighty annoyed if someone called me a fat bitch, but I'd get over it in like three hours. (ADHD has its benefits!) Mostly I just love everybodyyyyyy!

ETA: Except that Princess person. She can fuck a duck.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I know I've said this exact thing before. A thread's debate is just that, a thread's debate. Doesn't reflect how I feel about a person. And actually, I'd be mighty annoyed if someone called me a fat bitch, but I'd get over it in like three hours. (ADHD has its benefits!) Mostly I just love everybodyyyyyy!

ETA: Except that Princess person. She can fuck a duck.

I agree. It takes an awful lot for someone to piss me off enough to actually block them or get angry with them. I don't do anger unless it's an extreme situation. Wasted emotion, in my book. And it's a very rare occurance when I hold someone's opinion or beliefs against them in any way. And honestly, for the most part, I think the people who have posted here have done a pretty good job of keeping the personal attacks to a minimum.

And Etoile - great weight ticker! I'll be cheering you on!

 

[graceanne]

I know I've said this exact thing before. A thread's debate is just that, a thread's debate. Doesn't reflect how I feel about a person. And actually, I'd be mighty annoyed if someone called me a fat bitch, but I'd get over it in like three hours. (ADHD has its benefits!) Mostly I just love everybodyyyyyy!

ETA: Except that Princess person. She can fuck a duck.

Don't you think that's a bit harsh . . . for the duck? Poor widdle duckie.

 

[Homburg]

I agree. It takes an awful lot for someone to piss me off enough to actually block them or get angry with them. I don't do anger unless it's an extreme situation. Wasted emotion, in my book. And it's a very rare occurance when I hold someone's opinion or beliefs against them in any way. And honestly, for the most part, I think the people who have posted here have done a pretty good job of keeping the personal attacks to a minimum.

And Etoile - great weight ticker! I'll be cheering you on!

I used to feel the same way about ignore. then I realised that I come here for fun and entertainment. Some people simply detract from my enjoyment on a consistent basis. Bingo, ignore list.