Ahhh those lovely,"I am your Master" emails...

[D's mariposa]

Before I went on vacation I had gotten one of those "I am your Master" emails... Since my profile on that site clearly states that I am taken thankyouverymuch! My first response was "no thanks.." My next response started with "My first request for a Dom is that he reads and comprehends profiles as well as email.." It ended with "thanks but no thanks, dude..." I didn't check that account again before I left... So it was packed with progressively stupider and angrier emails. It started with.. "How DARE you tell me no little wench!! Obviously you have no fucking clue about submission..." And ended "with how dare you ignore me? I want a response now, and you had better apologise and be quick about it.." After D and I shared a chuckle, I reported him to that site, forwarded all emails to the site administrator. Poor little asshole got himself all banned and everything. That's probably all my fault too.. Since I have no fucking clue aboput submission..

I usually read them because they're good for a laugh. And usually a "no thanks" works. I don't usually get all rude about the "no thanks" except when they're so seriously clue impaired.

 

[FungiUg]

Chuckles, then hands mari a fucking clue about submission.

(It reads "in the kitchen, with Miss Scarlet, on her knees, from behind, with her begging and screaming.")

I always wonder whether people like that are themselves newbies, and are trying to demonstrate that they know how to do it. Or whether they are just so up themselves that they live on an entirely different mental planet to the rest of the species?

I've met both kinds. The first are just funny in a sad way -- but they will learn. The second kind though are downright scary.

Now on planet Bruce...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Before I went on vacation I had gotten one of those "I am your Master" emails... Since my profile on that site clearly states that I am taken thankyouverymuch! My first response was "no thanks.." My next response started with "My first request for a Dom is that he reads and comprehends profiles as well as email.." It ended with "thanks but no thanks, dude..." I didn't check that account again before I left... So it was packed with progressively stupider and angrier emails. It started with.. "How DARE you tell me no little wench!! Obviously you have no fucking clue about submission..." And ended "with how dare you ignore me? I want a response now, and you had better apologise and be quick about it.." After D and I shared a chuckle, I reported him to that site, forwarded all emails to the site administrator. Poor little asshole got himself all banned and everything. That's probably all my fault too.. Since I have no fucking clue aboput submission..

I usually read them because they're good for a laugh. And usually a "no thanks" works. I don't usually get all rude about the "no thanks" except when they're so seriously clue impaired.

LOL...this is classic and had me in stitches. Thanks. Some people just don't get it or know what no means.

Catalina

 

[enigma nocturne]

snerking at Fungi's clue

They were really funny... Mari forwarded them to me.... I rolled laughing, they were too funny.. Like the "On you knees wench, and suck my winkie" PM's we used to get in chat.

 

[FungiUg]

"My winkie"?!!! How "domly "is that? *chuckle*

 

[enigma nocturne]

"My winkie"?!!! How "domly "is that? *chuckle*

It is about as Domly as the one who said "I require you to service my throbbing Manhood.." and proceeded to tell me exactly how. It read like a really really bad romance novel.

 

[morninggirl5]

It is about as Domly as the one who said "I require you to service my throbbing Manhood.." and proceeded to tell me exactly how. It read like a really really bad romance novel.

Shhhhhhh! Don't say it too loud, they may be listening and searching for a new source for material.

 

[hurtme]

isn't that how they get their ideas, run to the clearance rack, find all the cheesy romance novels, and switch a few words around to make them a bit more d/s friendsly...and then start memoriszing, cause if no one else has notcied, I have realized that they tend to use the same few tired lines over and over again...

 

[James G 5]

No one has ever sent me one of these e-mails. Not once.

How does this happen to every one but me? Am I that all-around ugly or what?

Yea, I know... some of you are going to say YES! lol
And that's okay, too.

Ok, I always say I am here to help, so I tried to help you here ADR

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ok, I always say I am here to help, so I tried to help you here ADR

And again... you're just toooo good to me, James!

(One of the few who gets an emoticon from me!)

 

[James G 5]

And again... you're just toooo good to me, James!

(One of the few who gets an emoticon from me!)

Awwwww


Well, I guess that rates a marsupial hug

 

[Krinaia]

I had something to post here but by the time I found it, I forgot what I was going to say, I hate when I do that.



I wish someone would email me... it woul dbe better than all those viagra, mortgages, ink cartridges, and random porn junk mail I get. And likely, more amusing too.

 

[niteshade]

I had something to post here but by the time I found it, I forgot what I was going to say, I hate when I do that.



I wish someone would email me... it woul dbe better than all those viagra, mortgages, ink cartridges, and random porn junk mail I get. And likely, more amusing too.

LOL... don't feel bad, I still haven't gotten one yet either. It is kinda like a game, and we aren't getting picked, huh? I could use the additional entertainment, really I could.
Although, I did get one guy who wanted me to fly to greece and meet him, all expenses paid. Maybe I should have gone.

 

[FungiUg]

How about something like:

Please SB, can I be your Master? Pretty please? I'll do anything you want, just let me be your Master?

 

[FungiUg]

LOL... don't feel bad, I still haven't gotten one yet either.

Damn! Must have gotten the e-mail address wrong!

 

[niteshade]

Damn! Must have gotten the e-mail address wrong!

LOL... you must have, because I have not had a single email telling me to bow down before the Great Fungi One.

 

[FungiUg]

LOL... you must have, because I have not had a single email telling me to bow down before the Great Fungi One.

Just be grateful... you'd just end up with a face full of mushroom!

 

[Krinaia]

How about something like:

Please SB, can I be your Master? Pretty please? I'll do anything you want, just let me be your Master?

uhm, there is a three step application process

 

[Krinaia]

There is a questionnaire.


I'll need to see you naked.


And uhm, then we can have lots of dirty, hot phone sex.


Then I'll sign all my bank accounts over to you and you can weld a steel collar around my neck and lead me all over your house naked.

 

[FungiUg]

...and is there an up side?

 

[Krinaia]

up, down, top, bottom ... doesn't matter which position you pick

just remember to ignore the sign that says "fragile - handle with care"

 

[FungiUg]

Oh, so I should just rip that tape right off?

 

[Krinaia]

or keep winding it around and around

 

[hurtme]

all expensis paid to Greece...damn, i hate to sound like a whore, but i'd let someone whip me for a couple days...hell, i might even call him master...is there a downside to that?

 

[Krinaia]

you should be proud of being a whore


i'd do worse things for an all expenses paid to greece. like lick his boots after he'd walk through a cow pasture. EW. okay, just kidding. but i would take a spanking for that, heck maybe even a caning