ANDTHEEND's Highlighted Stories

[michchick98]

Hold your hand over your head like a catchers mitt, Freddie, you missed her point entirely.

As for Bakeboss being a plant, if memory serves, he/she finished second or third in last years Survivors Contest.

Curiously, two of your alts finished sixth and fifteenth.

So that would mean that he got two Amazon gift cards? And he said he never won anything on this site.

Oh yeah, that's right, he doesn't have any alts.

 

[andtheend]

Is This What You Want? by pantycum99

Here's a new story by a brave new writer that posted in the (gulp) Loving Wives category.

Welcome to Literotica pantycum99. I hope you know what you're doing by posting your very frist story in the (gulp) Loving Wives category.

"Incoming!"

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482422

Actually, this story could have been posted in the BDSM category or even in the Fetish category. Yet, I think this writer should receive a huge (ahem) welcome from the readers of the (gulp) Loving Wives category.

Actually, the story is very good. It was well written and the writer has a good command of the English language. I recoomend it highly. Short and sweet, it's very descriptive.

So, if this is the type of story about a submissive man having his wife lock his cock in balls in chasity (ouch) grabs you, then you may enjoy this.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[D_K_Moon]

Sorry, DK, but the name is Susan.

There are no set rules in creative writing, which is why they call it creative writing. What works for one writer may not work for another.

My attempt here is not to reveiw or necessarily to critique, but to highlight those writers' stories, especially new writers and especially the stories of writers, whose stories were placed at the bottom of the daily offering and that may have been overlooked and not read. I'm hoping this thread will give writers a second chance to have their stories read.

The writer can take my suggestions or not. As a reader, I prefer reading a story, where I can visualize the character and what I see may not be what the writer is seeing. Now, if I only prefer seeing only what I want to see, then I may as well go to bed and dream. I may as well not read at all, but fantasize.

Yet, if I want something different, to read a new story, and to experience a new writer, then I want to see what he or she is seeing. You cannot tell me that when a writer writes a story that his or her mind is devoid of the character's image that he or she is writing about. That is what I want to see. I don't want to see my same old characters. I want to see something new and fresh and insightful.

Show me. Allow me to see what it is you are writing about, so that I can feel what you, as a writer is feeling, too.

When you write your western stories, DK, there are people from the city who have never touched a horse. Isn't it your job to show them the horse you are riding? As a reader, that's all I'm asking.

Thank you for your valuable input. It's a pleasure to meet you. Please feel free to post any time.

Yes, Freddie, it is creative writing, and I was supporting the view held by the writer. There was no mention of right, wrong, or indifferent.

 

[sr71plt]

Yes, Freddie, it is creative writing, and I was supporting the view held by the writer. There was no mention of right, wrong, or indifferent.

Neither I. I was upholding the writer's choice of a legitimate technique in writing erotica.

Almost all of Freddie's critique's start off by saying there wasn't enough character description. That isn't a particularly good criticism for erotica. I may be Freddie's choice of what he likes to read--but it certainly isn't a universal criticism to be giving someone writing erotica--as several, including the original author, have explained here.

 

[andtheend]

Neither I. I was upholding the writer's choice of a legitimate technique in writing erotica.

Almost all of Freddie's critique's start off by saying there wasn't enough character description. That isn't a particularly good criticism for erotica. I may be Freddie's choice of what he likes to read--but it certainly isn't a universal criticism to be giving someone writing erotica--as several, including the original author, have explained here.

Maybe you missed reading the first page of this thread and a few other posts where I referred to what I do here. I don't review stories. I don't critique stories. I highlight stories.

You're not welcome here, SR. You're a negative, angry man and I won't answer you anymore.

 

[sr71plt]

I won't answer you anymore.

In all of your alts, Freddie? Promise?

 

[D_K_Moon]

In all of your alts, Freddie? Promise?

How are you going to deal with all that rejection?

 

[sr71plt]

How are you going to deal with all that rejection?

I dunno. Maybe go to Disneyworld?

(Actually, I'm off on a three-day museum crawl in Washington, D.C., and a Carole King/James Taylor concert.)

 

[andtheend]

A Place In The Sun by aplaceinthesun

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted today in the BDSM category.

Welcome to Literotica aplaceinthesun.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482622

Well, for those of you who enjoy reading stories in this BDSM category, for those of you who enjoy reading a story with lots of sex, then this story, A Place In The Sun, is for you.

There's sex, sex, sex from the first word to the last word. Wait, I know your excited to read it, but don't you want to read the rest of this highlight?

For the life of me, I don't know why the author named the story, A Place In The Sun, when all the action takes place indoors. Go figure.

There are two main characters, 'he' and 'she'. That's all I know about them. I don't know their names. I don't know what they look like. All I know is that 'she' is the sub and 'he' is the dom.

Maybe a story that has enough sex is enough for you, but it's not enough for me. Reading this story is like reading the ingredients off a cereal box. The characters are flat and because of that, the story is boring. There's nothing written to engage the reader and to pull the reader in so that the reader wants to finish the story.

This reads as if it's a smaller section of a much larger piece. There's not back story. We have no idea what is going on with the characters. What's their motivation? Where's the tension?

The story is all narative and when that happens most authors tell us what is happening instead of showing us what is happening and that is what happens in this story.

Yet, all is not lost. If you enjoy this category, if you're looking something to inspire your imagination and, perhaps, get you off, maybe this story is your ticket.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

Retribution by farfetched

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted today in the BDSM category.

Welcome to Literotica farfetched.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482554

Okay, obviously this is a porn site and everyone wants to read and write about sex. This story surely does that. It starts with a sex scene and ends with a sex scene. For those of you who enjoy this BDSM category, you may enjoy this story. It's well written and the writer knows how to tell a story.

Yet...it would have been so much better, it would have been so much hotter, if only I knew what the characters looked like. What did she look like? What was she wearing? What color hair did she have? Did she have big tits or small? What did his boss look like? Where were they? What did the surroundings look like?

All of this information, the background and the character all contribute to engaging the reader and to help make the reader feel that he or she is there and is part of the story. Without any of that, the story falls flat and the writer is telling me a story, instead of showing me a story.

I want to see what the writer is seeing. I want to know why this writer picked this story to tell me. Alas, I can't discern any of that by the way this story is written.

A little bit of dialogue and imagery would have went a long way to help make her characters 3 dimensional instead of flat.

Perhaps by incorporating some of my suggests, this writer can rewrite this story.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[Samuelx]

Hey, man, you deserve every praise you get an more. You're a truly dedicated writer.

Why you don't sign up for the Survivor Contest and make a bit of extra cash is beyond me. You definitely write enough stories to win the contest.

Still, I can't go a day without getting my dose of a SamuelX story. You keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Peace.

Well, thank you. I do fine for myself, really. I work in law enforcement, and my parents are deeply ensconced in the prominent Afro-Caribbean/African-American middle class in Boston, Massachusetts. I mostly focus on my graduate studies at Canada's Capital University and my budding relationship with a lovely Djibouti female intellectual.

 

[andtheend]

Well, thank you. I do fine for myself, really. I work in law enforcement, and my parents are deeply ensconced in the prominent Afro-Caribbean/African-American middle class in Boston, Massachusetts. I mostly focus on my graduate studies at Canada's Capital University and my budding relationship with a lovely Djibouti female intellectual.

Ah, Boston, a great city. I've never been there but my favorite writer, Bostonfictionwriter, is from there. He went to high school on the Dorchester/Roxbury line and graduated from Northeastern University.

You two, it appears, have much in common, especially with the law enforcement connection.

Well, you keep writing and I'll continue reading. Good luck with your graduate studies.

 

[andtheend]

Faith by MightyWurm

Here's a story by a writer, who hasn't posted anything in several years.

The story posted in the NonHuman category and the link is below.

Welcome back MightyWurm. You picked a hot day to return. It's 94 where I am.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482850

Normally, unless it's a detective story that takes place in the 1940's with Broderick Crawford, I don't particularly like stories written in the 2nd person. Yet, since this is a NonHuman story, it works.

There's a nice mix of narative and dialogue and it's a little scary. Only, I would have liked the story to be longer. I would have liked the story better if there was more explanation, a backstory.

The character is not described and there's no character development, two big things with me. Yet, the writer has a good sence for drama and tension. I'd like to see this story rewritten encompassing some of the suggestions that I've made. I think it could be a much longer story than it is. The way that it reads now, it's almost like a trailer for a movie.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

An Idea Born From Necessity by Linypsi

I love new stories as much as I love new writers. So many writers come here to read and write. Isn't it wonderful?

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted yestered in the Toys & Masturbation category. The link to the story is below.

Welcome to Literotica Linypsi.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482939

Well, from the beginning to the end there's sex. If you enjoy reading stories in this category, you won't be disappointed by this story. Further, there's a bit of a surprise ending, something unusual and rather difficult to pull off in such a short story.

Yeah, sure, there were a couple little grammatical errors but they weren't jarring enough to knock you out of the story.

Maybe it's just me, and I think it's something the author could have easily done, is whenever I read a story, such as this, a masturbation story, I immediately wonder what she looks like?

Does she have red or blonde hair, blue or brown eyes, is she short, tall, shapely or thin. In such a story, a description of the character would have helped me bond more with the story and would have brought me closer to the action.

Other than that, it's a decent story and I recommend you read it.

I hope this sportlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[EbonyGoddess1987]

I love new stories as much as I love new writers. So many writers come here to read and write. Isn't it wonderful?

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted yestered in the Toys & Masturbation category. The link to the story is below.

Welcome to Literotica Linypsi.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482939

Well, from the beginning to the end there's sex. If you enjoy reading stories in this category, you won't be disappointed by this story. Further, there's a bit of a surprise ending, something unusual and rather difficult to pull off in such a short story.

Yeah, sure, there were a couple little grammatical errors but they weren't jarring enough to knock you out of the story.

Maybe it's just me, and I think it's something the author could have easily done, is whenever I read a story, such as this, a masturbation story, I immediately wonder what she looks like?

Does she have red or blonde hair, blue or brown eyes, is she short, tall, shapely or thin. In such a story, a description of the character would have helped me bond more with the story and would have brought me closer to the action.

Other than that, it's a decent story and I recommend you read it.

I hope this sportlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

Always a pleasure to see really creative writing.

 

[andtheend]

Filpina Discovers Her Bisexuality by jockinjezebelle

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted to day in the Lesbian category.

Welcome to Literotica jockinjezebelle. Weird, my mother almost named me that.

Below is the link to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=422885

Actually, except for a few minor stumbles in the beginning, it wasn't bad. Even though the characters weren't described, I kind of could see them, a little bit. As always, I'd like a bit of help from the writer to allow me to see what he or she is seeing.

Nonetheless, I thought the story was rather erotic for such a short story with a note, by the way, that they'll be a continuation to this story.

For those who enjoy reading the Lesbian category, you may enjoy this. Call it accidental or first time lesbian, it rang true and I wonder if this story was more non-fiction than it was fiction.

I shall look forward to reading the next story in this series.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[MightyWurm]

I really appreciate your feedback and support. This story is actually part of a trilogy...the first of which is also on here called "A Bite to Eat." The trilogy is very loosely linked and may be developed further into a ongoing series if I can get the inspiration...I like the main characters and the idea of a Vampire Master/Human Sub just intrigues me. Anyway...try reading my other story if you haven't already and I hope you continue to read my work.

~MightyWurm

 

[andtheend]

Puppy Girl's Nipple Piercing by astray

Here is a new story by a fairly new writer that posted today in the BDSM category, a specialty of this writer since, all 3 stories authored by this writer has posted to this category.

May I offer you a belated welcome to Literotica astray.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483127

The story starts in the middle of that action, which is always good with a story, especailly as story that is so short, as is this one.

And there is plenty of action. If you are a fan of BDSM, you'd better buckle up 'cause you're in for a ride.

Not all is good in the whips and chains department, however. This author keeps a firm and heavy hand to the readers' chest. She or he, for some reason, doesn't want you to get to close. Maybe the author is afraid to reveal him or herself, just yet, to the reader.

And that's a shame. It's too bad because with a bi of magic, a back story, character description, imagery, and character development, this story could have been great.

Why do so many writers forget to show their characters? What are they hiding that they don't want us to see? If I'm taking the time and making the effort to read your story, dear author, then I want to see what you are seeing. I don't want you to tell me. I want to see for myself.

If only I could have seen the characters, then I could have felt, perhaps, what the author was feeling. Yet, this author didn't show her characters. I needed to be there, but I was listening to the action from a distance.

Still, if only for the sexual content, if only for the BDSM details, if you enjoy reading this category, you may enjoy this story.

I hope this spotlight of attention will garner you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

The Fifth Force by NotReallySure

Here's a story by a writer who has written for Literotica for several years. Although he hasn't penned very many stories, quality over quantity applies here.

This particular story posted in the Humor & Satire category.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483150

Let me begin by writing, if you love science, as I do, if you subscribe to the findings of serious scientests, such as Sir Issac Newton, Michael Faraday, and Stephen Hawkings, then read this story.

Ah, the truth behind mad science doesn't grab you. Apparently, you never watched the remake of Frankenstein with Gene Wilder. If you enjoy comedy and mad science, then, surely you must read this story.

How about a well wrtten story? Do you enjoy that? Is literature your thing?

No? You don't care for science? You aren't here to laugh? And you really hate to read more than you must. Then, nod your head to let me know you are alive.

Do you like...tits?

Aha! I knew there was something you'd enjoy about this story.

If you love science, if you enjoy comedy, if you love a well written story, and if you love...tits, then you must read this story.

I don't hand these out easily and if any story here is deserving of the highly regarded green E, it is this story. Since Literotica has chosen not to issue this story a green E, then I will issue this story and A plus.

I've only given out one A plus before and that was to sexy Sarahhh.

I loved this story and I recommend you read it.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story. I loved it.

 

[andtheend]

Jay Cross by Jay Cross

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted today in the Transsexuals & Crossdressers category.

Welcome to Literotica Jay Cross.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483397

It's a decent story. If you enjoy reading transsexual and crossdressing stories, then I recommend you read this story. It's about a boy coming of age with his feelings about cross dressing.

The only thing that I didn't like about it that, even though it was a first person story, as told by the writer, I would have preferred the story being told in the past tense rather than in the present tense.

For some reason, the present tense seemed to jar me out of the story.

I would have preferred if the writer wrote, I sat, instead of I sit or I opened instead of I open.

Other than that, it was a fun story, a glimpse into something that so many young men, filled with raging hormones, have experienced with the coming of age.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

Bride's Blow Job by TheDarkCloud

Here's a new story posted that posted in the Incest/Taboo category by a well established writer with dozens of stories under his belt.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483374

Ah, this writer has already hooked me with his first line and I suspected what was about to happen. Daddy was getting a blowjob. Wow.

This story was short and sweet and right to the point. The characters were described enough and developed enough for me to see the action. I felt, as if I was there watching his daughter giving him a blowjob.

This is a hot story and if you love the incest category, which so many do, I highly recommend this story.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

S's Second Story by gushkinbanda

Here's a new story by an established writer that posted today in the Exhibitionist & Voyeur category.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483794

I've met some people, when I was in the swinging lifestyle, who did swing with others but enjoyed being watched making love and having sex with one another. I never figured what that was about, kind of like eating a fatting desert but vomiting up before you digest it.

This story was like that in a way and I don't mean that as a slam but as a compliment. If you're the type of reader who fantasizes about a couple of guys watching you and your wife or you and your girlfriend having sex, then this story is for you.

It wasn't for me, I'm sad to say. I mean, the story was posted in the Exhibitionist and Voyeur category. Only, there was nothing to see. This writer didn't show me anything. He told me what the man did to the woman, but without giving me a description of her or of him, without developing the characters, I couldn't see them.

In fairness to the writer, this story is a continuation of some sort and I haven't read the previous story. Yet, if you're going to continue a story, then you must realize that, like me, we haven't read the preceding stories, just this one and this story left me wanting to see and feel more.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

Back With Badger, Say No More! by alexcarr

Here's a new story that posted in the Gay Male category by a writer who has already penned 30 stories in 2010.

Below is the link to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483755

Here's the thing. This is a short story, literally, a very short story and when you have paragraphs as you do below that are too long, well, it forces the reader to skate through the story, as if going downhill on skis.

"I knew that his sex life had finished with his Mrs although they still thought the world of each other, but a guy like Badger still wanted his oats and so made a meal out of me, and I didn't mind being his kernel, his place where he could gratify his sexual appetite, which was always in plenty and, as I stroked his cock and cupped his ripe balls I already wanted the feel of him inside me.

Now was the time to catch up - he wanted it and I wanted it, I took his cock firmly in my hand, drew it right back to the root and hungrily sucked it into my mouth, tasting immediately the taste of cock never forgotten, for Badger had that certain particular flavour and taste I loved and adored, I would spend ages just pampering his cock and balls and underneath too, sucking, licking and nibbling hearing his moans of delight.."

I think the writer would have benefitted had he or she broken up these very long and rambling sentences. The first is 78 words and the second is 80 words. Now, there's nothing wrong with writing a long sentence, I've written a few more than 100 word sentences, but those were imbedded in a much longer piece of at least 15,000 words and not a mere 1,100 words, as this story is.

This next sentence, are you ready, is 150 words.

That was fine because I knew after another hour of enjoying his pleasure of me, his pampering of my cock and balls and then my ass, I knew he would be hard again, hard enough to give me a good seeing to, but in the meantime I splendour in the thrill of watching him suck me the way he does, so good and firm, like he was eating me all up, my hard cock all inside his mouth somehow, his cheeks stretched tight, me just laying back on the n=bench for him to enjoy me to the full, his fingers starting to prepare me given a spread of lubricant around my aching anus which he made a meal of, moving first one finger then two inside me, stretching me as he grew more demanding, telling me to turn around, bend over the bench and show him what I have got.

You tell me, dear reader. Does that very long sentence work for you? Is it a way for the writer to show the action breathlessly, as it is happening? I dunno. What do you think? Do you like it or not? Do you think the writer should have broken up this very long sentence into a half dozen or a dozen smaller sentences?

This is my take on it. I think one very long sentence would work well, in such a very short story, but not nearly every sentence. It would have been better had the writer changed the pace and allowed the reader to catch his breath.

Still, if this is the story that makes you hard, then your story is waiting for you to read.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

Through the Bathroom Window by ttragula

Here's a new story that posted today in the Toys & Masturbation category by a new writer.

Welcome to Literotica ttragula. Listen don't feel bad about your stuttering. Good thing this is a written story and not an oral presentation.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=480950

This is a masturabtion story with a twist and I must say that I enjoyed it. If you are into masturabation stories, then this is a nicely written one. It's not overly sexual or erotic, but what I liked about it is that it's real.

When reading the story, you can imagine this really happening and the writer just writing his memory of what happened as a story.

I hope this spotlight of attention gets you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[EbonyGoddess1987]

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted to day in the Lesbian category.

Welcome to Literotica jockinjezebelle. Weird, my mother almost named me that.

Below is the link to the story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=422885

Actually, except for a few minor stumbles in the beginning, it wasn't bad. Even though the characters weren't described, I kind of could see them, a little bit. As always, I'd like a bit of help from the writer to allow me to see what he or she is seeing.

Nonetheless, I thought the story was rather erotic for such a short story with a note, by the way, that they'll be a continuation to this story.

For those who enjoy reading the Lesbian category, you may enjoy this. Call it accidental or first time lesbian, it rang true and I wonder if this story was more non-fiction than it was fiction.

I shall look forward to reading the next story in this series.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

I really liked this story.