ANDTHEEND's Highlighted Stories

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

And the post above is a perfect example of the truth of that statement that ANDTHEND and BFW are the same person.

Nice try BFW but everyone already knows as you've outed yourself several times already in other threads.

Play nice and don't try to bullshit anyone and you will be left alone, as you have been except for when you try to do a hatchet job on someone from the Survives Contest that you don't like or stupid shit like the above.

Hatchet job? You know as well as I do that Bakeboss is Literotica's plant, their inside person, so that they won't have to pay out the $500 prize money.

In essence, coming in second place twice, I won the Survivor Contest twice.

MungoPark was the first plant. We never heard from him again. Then, there was PrincessErin, who so happens to be, guess who, Bakeboss.

I'll tell you what, Tex. I'll play nice when Literotica plays fair. Okay? 'nuff said.

And tell your boyfriend, Ace, to stop trying to stick his miserable attitude up everyone's ass. We're not gay. He is.

 

[TxRad]

Hatchet job? You know as well as I do that Bakeboss is Literotica's plant, their inside person, so that they won't have to pay out the $500 prize money.

In essence, coming in second place twice, I won the Survivor Contest twice.

MungoPark was the first plant. We never heard from him again. Then, there was PrincessErin, who so happens to be, guess who, Bakeboss.

I'll tell you what, Tex. I'll play nice when Literotica plays fair. Okay? 'nuff said.

And tell your boyfriend, Ace, to stop trying to stick his miserable attitude up everyone's ass. We're not gay. He is.

You just can't let it go that you lost can you. Any excuse is better than none in your book. I could care less about Survivor. In my opinion it drags the quality of stories down, but that is just my opinion.

Write your stories and drop all the bullshit and you'd be miles ahead. That's what you keep saying, that it's all about the writing and not the contests. Then forget about the contest and just write. All the rest of the shit is meaningless in the long run.

As for SR, you keep poking at him and he does bite. So quit poking and take the no longer published covers down. Then he has less to bitch about. You get what you give around here for the most part but you'll never believe that.

 

[sr71plt]

Did you really think anyone was fooled by this "pat yourself on the back and beat BFW's hobby horses" ANDTHEEND act, Freddie? You were so dumb you couldn't even keep straight which alt you were posting under. What amazes me is that sometimes it appears you yourself are actually convinced by this crap you spread. That's when it gets a bit scary (although not really an "I should care" scary).

 

[andtheend]

The Morning Paper by Mynx23

Here's a story that posted today in the Erotic Couplings category by a new writer.

Welcome to Literotica Mynx23.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482317

Well, it's a cute little story and I like the pace that the writer instilled in the story with the mix of dialogue with narative. The story has a nice sex scene but what sometimes happens is the writer becomes so involved in getting out the sex scene that he or she forgets to describe her characters. I can tell that this writer is going to be a very fine writer one day, but she's not there yet.

First of all the characters aren't developed nor described. I would have enjoyed the story more if I could see what the writer was seeing. I would have enjoyed the story more if the writer showed me what she was seeing instead of telling me what she was seeing.

Too many sentences began with ing words, "Bringing each of us coffee, sipping my coffee, reading the paper, ignoring you, collapsing on top of me."

It's better to mix up your sentence structure so that the story doesn't become so predictable. After a while the reader notices the ing words that begin the sentences and it knocks them out of the story.

Definitely, there's a story here and the writer can make this a much longer and more enjoyable story by describing her characters, briefly, since the story is short, add some imagery to help with the descriptions and to engage the reader, and show us the action, instead of tell us the action, not an easy thing to do when you're a beginner writer.

Lastly, stay with one point of view. A common mistake with new writers is telling the story from the first person, I, and then switching to, you. After a while, going back and forth, it's disturbing. Certainly, this story would work from the first person but, if it was me, I'd tell it from the third person.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more views, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

The Shower by JustEl

Here's a new story that posted today in the Toys & Masturbation category by a fairly new writer.

Welcome to Literotica JustEl.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482177

Actually, I liked this story because it had some nice imagery, enough to make me feel that I was there in the shower with the character.

Description is always good in a story and when description turns from just describing things to paint pictures that you can see, then that's imagery and it's even better.

Only, and I realize this is challenging sometimes when the story is told from the first person and there is only one character in the story, you, but I would have enjoyed the story more if I could have seen who was taking a shower. Certainly, especially with a bathroom scene, there are ways for the writer to describe her character without going overboard and without making knocking the reader out of the scene.

She could have looked at her naked body in the mirror, which is pretty common for women to do.

Nonetheless, it was a decent story and I recommend it to those who enjoy masturbation stories, especially female masturbation stories.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

How I Became A Whore‏ by woman_inside

This is the second story by a writer who has written here less than a year. The story posted in the Transsexual and Crossdresser category.

Welcome to Literotica woman_inside.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482333

I must preface my comments with, even though I'm not a transsexual or a cross dresser, certainly, I love writing transsexual and cross dressing stories, more cross dressing stories than I do transsexual stories. Why?

I receive the best comments from the stories that I write about cross dressers. Many of my cross dressing stories are filled with humor, yet, I've written some that are insightful and sensitive that I've received raved reviews from those who cross dress.

So, what about this story?

For those who enjoy the transsexual & crossdressing category, you won't be disappointed, as there is sex from the beginning to the end. Sex in a story is sometimes enough for most readers, especially when all the want to do is to get off, while reading the story. Yet, after a while, after reading enough stories, the bar of what it takes to get readers aroused when reading a story is raised higher and higher.

Definitely, this story is a good start. There's a nice mix of narative and dialogue that keeps the story flowing. Yet, what is missing is character development and character description. I know that I sound like a broken record, but it's a common mistake by beginning writers.

If you want to engage your reader, if you want your reader to love your story, show him or her what you are seeing when you are writing the story. Too many writers get caught up in writing the sex scene. We, as readers, need more than that.

When you don't develop characters, when you don't describe your characters, is when a story tells the action, instead of showing the action. Readers would rather feel what is happening than having the writer intrude by explaining what is happening. A little bit of imagery would have gone a long way with this story.

Certainly, it's not a bad story, but it could have been so much better. It could have been great if the writer did some basic things, made the story longer, described his characters, developed his characters, and showed the reader by using imagery, instead of telling the reader.

I hope this spotlight of attention gets you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

A Visit in Edward's House by KnutG

Here's a new story that posted today in the BDSM category by a new writer.

Welcome to Literotica KnutG.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482175

First off, immediately, I like the story. Here's an author who has his audience in mind by giving the reader a brief descrition of his character. Only, I was expecting him to continue by weaving in more of her description, but he didn't do that. I was left with only a partial vision of his character and not enough, unfortunately, for me to see what the author was seeing.

Show me who you are writing about so that I can become more involved in your story. You had me, you hooked me, but then you let me go.

To me, this story reads like an outline of a story that a writer has an idea for, but hasn't yet fully completed it. Oh, but had he inserted some dialogue, had he eliminated some of the narative with a few lines of dialogue, this story would have been hot. It would have read like the script from that movie, The Secretary.

You had the gun in hand, but you didn't pull the trigger. You had me, the reader, but you used too broad of a strokes. You started telling me, instead of showing me.

I must say that this story could have been wonderful. I would love to read a rewrite of this. This writer has a talent for suspense and tension, if only he would let it out and not hold back. Give it to me. I want to read it. I want to see your character and I want to feel what she is feeling.

Yet, for you to do that, you need to answer the question? Who is this story about, you, Edward, or the woman? Pick one and go with that character, then insert some dialogue so that I can be there in the room watching it all unfold. I don't want you to tell me what is happening, I want to see it for myself.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[sr71plt]

take the no longer published covers down.

He can't move in either direction on this. His outrageous lying has gotten him self-painted into a corner and he's been such a little pissy fairy boy that I'm not letting him off the hook. Leaving them up graphically illustrates both the depth of his dishonesty and just how much he wants to be seen as published, when he's not. Taking them down will be an admission of the above. It's his own corner he's put himself into--and his own paint and brush.

He'll just go on pretending it doesn't exist--and fooling only himself.

 

[sr71plt]

You just can't let it go that you lost can you. Any excuse is better than none in your book. I could care less about Survivor. In my opinion it drags the quality of stories down, but that is just my opinion.

I can't stop thinking what a sad little odious toad Freddie is. All of this havoc he's wreaking--and all on not being able to win some silly Internet contest based on meaningless numbers. What a sad, empty little life he must lead.

 

[D_K_Moon]

I can't stop thinking what a sad little odious toad Freddie is. All of this havoc he's wreaking--and all on not being able to win some silly Internet contest based on meaningless numbers. What a sad, empty little life he must lead.

He's been quite busy using all of his alts to leave himself comments on his contest entry.

 

[sr71plt]

He's been quite busy using all of his alts to leave himself comments on his contest entry.

Yes, it helps keep track of some of those many alts he claims he doesn't have.

 

[JustEl]

Here's a new story that posted today in the Toys & Masturbation category by a fairly new writer.

Welcome to Literotica JustEl.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482177

Actually, I liked this story because it had some nice imagery, enough to make me feel that I was there in the shower with the character.

Description is always good in a story and when description turns from just describing things to paint pictures that you can see, then that's imagery and it's even better.

Only, and I realize this is challenging sometimes when the story is told from the first person and there is only one character in the story, you, but I would have enjoyed the story more if I could have seen who was taking a shower. Certainly, especially with a bathroom scene, there are ways for the writer to describe her character without going overboard and without making knocking the reader out of the scene.

She could have looked at her naked body in the mirror, which is pretty common for women to do.

Nonetheless, it was a decent story and I recommend it to those who enjoy masturbation stories, especially female masturbation stories.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

Thank you so much for you lovely words.....

I prefer the readers to be able to put the female they desire in place of my form.... by not giving all my attributes, they can more easily replace me with her... whether she be a Nubian Queen, an Asian Beauty, an Indian Princess, a Beach Bunny or Redheaded Lady like myself. The picture I try to paint is to entice, tease, titillate, bringing the reader in and then letting them paint the more personal details into the picture... Thus adding to their read. Kisses
El

 

[sr71plt]

Thank you so much for you lovely words.....

I prefer the readers to be able to put the female they desire in place of my form.... by not giving all my attributes, they can more easily replace me with her... whether she be a Nubian Queen, an Asian Beauty, an Indian Princess, a Beach Bunny or Redheaded Lady like myself. The picture I try to paint is to entice, tease, titillate, bringing the reader in and then letting them paint the more personal details into the picture... Thus adding to their read. Kisses
El

Which, for erotica, is a recognized technique (which Freddie apparently isn't aware of). So, by all means keep doing it if it fits your purposes.

 

[andtheend]

Thank you so much for you lovely words.....

I prefer the readers to be able to put the female they desire in place of my form.... by not giving all my attributes, they can more easily replace me with her... whether she be a Nubian Queen, an Asian Beauty, an Indian Princess, a Beach Bunny or Redheaded Lady like myself. The picture I try to paint is to entice, tease, titillate, bringing the reader in and then letting them paint the more personal details into the picture... Thus adding to their read. Kisses
El

I enjoyed your story. Yet, it would have been better if you helped the reader along with a bit of description or imagery to help them imagine you. Not all readers are writers and not all readers can imagine what is not there and what is not written. It is up to the writer to do that. Yet, the talent of a writer if when he or she can do that with a gentle hand that doesn't show the reader that he's been nudged in way direction or another and allowed to imagine a blonde or a red head.

I shall look forward to reding your next story.

 

[D_K_Moon]

I enjoyed your story. Yet, it would have been better if you helped the reader along with a bit of description or imagery to help them imagine you. Not all readers are writers and not all readers can imagine what is not there and what is not written. It is up to the writer to do that. Yet, the talent of a writer if when he or she can do that with a gentle hand that doesn't show the reader that he's been nudged in way direction or another and allowed to imagine a blonde or a red head.

I shall look forward to reding your next story.

Sorry, Freddie, I have to agree with JustEl. Her reasons are exactly the same as mine, I want the reader to see their "dream girl" and not mine.

 

[andtheend]

Sorry, Freddie, I have to agree with JustEl. Her reasons are exactly the same as mine, I want the reader to see their "dream girl" and not mine.

Sorry, DK, but the name is Susan.

There are no set rules in creative writing, which is why they call it creative writing. What works for one writer may not work for another.

My attempt here is not to reveiw or necessarily to critique, but to highlight those writers' stories, especially new writers and especially the stories of writers, whose stories were placed at the bottom of the daily offering and that may have been overlooked and not read. I'm hoping this thread will give writers a second chance to have their stories read.

The writer can take my suggestions or not. As a reader, I prefer reading a story, where I can visualize the character and what I see may not be what the writer is seeing. Now, if I only prefer seeing only what I want to see, then I may as well go to bed and dream. I may as well not read at all, but fantasize.

Yet, if I want something different, to read a new story, and to experience a new writer, then I want to see what he or she is seeing. You cannot tell me that when a writer writes a story that his or her mind is devoid of the character's image that he or she is writing about. That is what I want to see. I don't want to see my same old characters. I want to see something new and fresh and insightful.

Show me. Allow me to see what it is you are writing about, so that I can feel what you, as a writer is feeling, too.

When you write your western stories, DK, there are people from the city who have never touched a horse. Isn't it your job to show them the horse you are riding? As a reader, that's all I'm asking.

Thank you for your valuable input. It's a pleasure to meet you. Please feel free to post any time.

 

[sr71plt]

Oh, we all know your intent here, Freddie. And why you are doing this.

Funny thing, is, though, that some of what you write in the reviews you use to cover the hatchet work that's your real intent should be useful to the authors of the flak pieces you are reviewing--and it's good that someone is reaching down into the New list toward the bottom and commenting on some of the stories down there. Your criteria are stilted and often trite and, as in this case, unsophisticated--but even at the level on which it's given, the short reviews seem to be useful (which it's not one of your jealousy hatchet pieces--or fluffing up of your own pieces) to writers new to the discline and something that isn't happening otherwise.

 

[JustEl]

I enjoyed your story. Yet, it would have been better if you helped the reader along with a bit of description or imagery to help them imagine you. Not all readers are writers and not all readers can imagine what is not there and what is not written. It is up to the writer to do that. Yet, the talent of a writer if when he or she can do that with a gentle hand that doesn't show the reader that he's been nudged in way direction or another and allowed to imagine a blonde or a red head.

I shall look forward to reding your next story.

perhaps you're right.... but if you look at my AV... it puts images in your head right off the bat of how I look or does it put images of how you want me to look.... with only a taste of my leg and foot your mind sees the whole picture but the question is which picture do you see, the one I painted or the one you painted....

as with all art... the artist makes the art and the viewer takes it in... and most of the time they two different things... and that's OK.... cause that's art... Kisses

 

[andtheend]

Oh, we all know your intent here, Freddie. And why you are doing this.

Funny thing, is, though, that some of what you write in the reviews you use to cover the hatchet work that's your real intent should be useful to the authors of the flak pieces you are reviewing--and it's good that someone is reaching down into the New list toward the bottom and commenting on some of the stories down there. Your criteria are stilted and often trite and, as in this case, unsophisticated--but even at the level on which it's given, the short reviews seem to be useful (which it's not one of your jealousy hatchet pieces--or fluffing up of your own pieces) to writers new to the discline and something that isn't happening otherwise.

You are welcome here, SR, if you'd like to offer up your writing comments to help other writers. You are not welcome here, if your intent is to continue the poison you fill Scouries thread with. I don't like you nor to I particularly care for Scouries, since he's been trying to limit my writing to one story per contest.

Now, if you want to participate in this thead you are welcome. Yet, if you are here to cast your dispersions upon my friend, Bostonfictionwriter, the one person who has been kind to me, since I joined, the one person who has helped me by critiquing my stories, then you are not welcome here.

I'll have you know that BFW even bought me a chair. It sounds odd, I know, but we were talking about writing and he told me that he has a Herman Miller Aeron. I told him that I was sitting on a chair that didn't even have wheels (lol).

I'm a large woman and he's a gentleman. I'll have you know that he bought me a Herman Miller Aeron chair, soapstone brown with leather arms. The chair must cost over a thousand dollars. Now, that's the kind of man you are bashing and I won't have it. So, either you can participate in this thread or go elsewhere with your foolishness. The choice is yours.

Lastly, as far as bashing anyone on this thread, the only writer that was bashed here was Bakeboss and you, because you're such a little prick. Bakeboss is obvious. He's a plant. Besides, if you read some of her stories, you'd bash her, too (lol).

Have a nice day.

 

[andtheend]

perhaps you're right.... but if you look at my AV... it puts images in your head right off the bat of how I look or does it put images of how you want me to look.... with only a taste of my leg and foot your mind sees the whole picture but the question is which picture do you see, the one I painted or the one you painted....

as with all art... the artist makes the art and the viewer takes it in... and most of the time they two different things... and that's OK.... cause that's art... Kisses

Unfortunately, your AV does not appear with your story so that is lost to the reader. Certainly, I'm not telling you what to do and how to write. I'm just imparting what I enjoy when I read a story.

My intent is just to get writers read. That's all.

 

[sr71plt]

You are welcome here, SR, if you'd like to offer up your writing comments to help other writers. You are not welcome here, if your intent is to continue the poison you fill Scouries thread with. I don't like you nor to I particularly care for Scouries, since he's been trying to limit my writing to one story per contest.

Now, if you want to participate in this thead you are welcome. Yet, if you are here to cast your dispersions upon my friend, Bostonfictionwriter, the one person who has been kind to me, since I joined, the one person who has helped me by critiquing my stories, then you are not welcome here.

I'll have you know that BFW even bought me a chair. It sounds odd, I know, but we were talking about writing and he told me that he has a Herman Miller Aeron. I told him that I was sitting on a chair that didn't even have wheels (lol).

I'm a large woman and he's a gentleman. I'll have you know that he bought me a Herman Miller Aeron chair, soapstone brown with leather arms. The chair must cost over a thousand dollars. Now, that's the kind of man you are bashing and I won't have it. So, either you can participate in this thread or go elsewhere with your foolishness. The choice is yours.

Lastly, as far as bashing anyone on this thread, the only writer that was bashed here was Bakeboss and you, because you're such a little prick. Bakeboss is obvious. He's a plant. Besides, if you read some of her stories, you'd bash her, too (lol).

Have a nice day.

You're just trying to play everyone for fools here, Freddie--and not doing a very terrific job of it. You have no respect for writers here whatsoever--it shows in everying you post, no matter what alt you're using.

And this isn't "your" thread. It's a thread in an open forum.

You want "your" threads? Work the PM system.

(I see you can't make up your mind whether Bakeboss is male or female. )

 

[TxRad]

Unfortunately, your AV does not appear with your story so that is lost to the reader. Certainly, I'm not telling you what to do and how to write. I'm just imparting what I enjoy when I read a story.

My intent is just to get writers read. That's all.

Hold your hand over your head like a catchers mitt, Freddie, you missed her point entirely.

As for Bakeboss being a plant, if memory serves, he/she finished second or third in last years Survivors Contest.

Curiously, two of your alts finished sixth and fifteenth.

 

[andtheend]

The Agency by Pokee

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted today in the NonConsent/Reluctance category.

Welcome to Literotica Pokee. Just wondering, any relation to Gumby? Just kidding. Never mind.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=481569

This story is creatively different. It has a bit of secret service spy to it. And I would have enjoyed it more, if the story was longer and had more of a backstory to it.

What information was Jason trying to get out of Trinity and why?

The way that it's written now, without a character description or character development, Jason and Trinity are little more than talking heads.

I would have like to read more dialogue. I liked the fact that the author chose those name for various reasons, Jason, Matt Damon of Bourn Idenity or Jason of the Argo. Trinity evokes entirely different images in my mind.

Yet, this story reads unfinished. I think the author has a talent and a unique ability to tell a story, but this story, so short, was little more than a tease.

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[andtheend]

Morning Shower by TucsonBoy

Here's a new story by a new writer that posted today in the Erotic Couplings category.

Welcome to Literotica TucsonBoy.

The link to the story is below.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=482474

Well, I don't know about you, but every since Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds with Janet Leigh, I love a hot shower scene, don't you?

Well, if you like wet women, then you're going to like this story. It has a hot shower scene that should get you all lathered up and ready for more.

Only...here I go again.

The story was all narative. Okay, it worked, but I was desperate for some dialogue. I like dialogue. Dialogue brings me more into the story. Narative keeps me at bay.

And I would have love to have an image of the woman taking a shower. Wouldn't that have been a hotter scene, if the writer gave me enough description and/or imagery to envision her. I felt as if the shower curtain was closed and I couldn't see anything.

"Hey, c'mon, let me see."

Still, I'm sure there are plenty of readers with enough imagination that you don't need any description to see behind the curtain. Who knows, maybe this story will inspire you to have your own shower scene.

"Get out! I'm taking a shower."

I hope this spotlight of attention garners you more reads, votes, and comments. Good luck with your story.

 

[JustEl]

Unfortunately, your AV does not appear with your story so that is lost to the reader. Certainly, I'm not telling you what to do and how to write. I'm just imparting what I enjoy when I read a story.

My intent is just to get writers read. That's all.

Oh I know that, I was using it to make a point.... and I don't think you meant any ill intent to what you posted.... not one bit...I enjoy an open mind and a good debate...

but I do think you don't give the reader credit for what he/she gets out of the story...

you have to remember if you place 20 pictures of a flower from a coloring book in front of a group of 20 people, with just 5 colors each to use.... and say the pellets have to be blue, you will get 20 different flowers....

and if you tell them the pellets have to be blue... center yellow... stem green.... leaves orange... and red dots, you will still get 20 different flowers. No matter how much you tell, or how little you tell them each mind will make it their own....
Kisses