As a sub do you sometimes misbehave on purposes ?

[graceanne]

I'm not owned and I am a brat all the time.

Not really a sammy in real life but bratty and flirty always. If a dominant doesnt like that in a girl then I am not for them.

Can I behave? Pfftttt better then you can imagine, but I am still a brat.
Do I misbehave on purpose? Hmmmm I would have to say no I dont do it to get punished but I do it on purpose if that makes any sense.

It is kind of hard to explain and i dont really know how i am seen from the Doms eye but I dont think there is anything wrong with being a brat. I do think that if someone is seeking punishment there is something wrong in the relationship but as i said i am unowned...what the hell do i know.

You probably know more than the rest of us combined, and you know it.

 

[desertslave]

No. Punishment sucks. I'm a smart ass, yes. He likes smart asses. I joke and tease, and so does he. It's how we show affection - we're very polite to strangers and people we don't like.

I do not, however, deliberately piss him off. Not. Ok.

That's funny as hell! LOL Kinda like the Southern "bless your heart."

 

[graceanne]

That's funny as hell! LOL Kinda like the Southern "bless your heart."

Yeah, sorta. Or the west coast 'have a GREAT day'. *big insincere grin*

 

[Bandit58]

If I want a spanking I can just ask for one. I have no need to "act out" and indeed have never wanted to. Sir and I have fun together, we laugh and joke a lot. He says I am the first woman He has been with who has a sense of humour

Just a thought....not wanting to sound ageist or offend, but would it be mainly younger subs (say under age 35) who feel the need to act bratty in order to get "punished" or get attention albeit negative attention? I'm almost 50 and have been in a D/s relationship since age 45. Acting like a bratty kid at my age just seems wrong and rather silly to me

 

[notalwaysweak]

If I want a spanking I can just ask for one. I have no need to "act out" and indeed have never wanted to. Sir and I have fun together, we laugh and joke a lot. He says I am the first woman He has been with who has a sense of humour

Just a thought....not wanting to sound ageist or offend, but would it be mainly younger subs (say under age 35) who feel the need to act bratty in order to get "punished" or get attention albeit negative attention? I'm almost 50 and have been in a D/s relationship since age 45. Acting like a bratty kid at my age just seems wrong and rather silly to me

Possibly some, but I'm only 25 and i don't feel the need to brat to get spanked (for example). I could ask if I needed to, but my partner's pretty good at picking up on what I want without either of us saying anything.

 

[sidneyinheaven]

i may have choosen my words badly. i don't mean i want punished for real. No thank you very much. i just like to get under his skin a bit so he will put me back in my place. It's like i'm saying please take me and make it hurt sooo good. Make any sense ? It's just my way when i'm felling a bit antsey. A very good spanking is what i wind up getting most of the time. i still find it hard to just come out and ask to be spanked. So i ask in my own way. Sir understands me. He knows what i need at those times. i guess it is just like play time to me.

Love
sidney

 

[Homburg]

That's just bratting. Different concept. Not my thing, but it is understandable if it works in your dynamic.

 

[subbie_333]

i may have choosen my words badly. i don't mean i want punished for real. No thank you very much. i just like to get under his skin a bit so he will put me back in my place. It's like i'm saying please take me and make it hurt sooo good. Make any sense ? It's just my way when i'm felling a bit antsey. A very good spanking is what i wind up getting most of the time. i still find it hard to just come out and ask to be spanked. So i ask in my own way. Sir understands me. He knows what i need at those times. i guess it is just like play time to me.

Love
sidney

You mentioned in an earlier post that you are still figuring some things out about this lifestyle. If nothing else, hopefully in this thread you have learned about some terminology and concepts.

 

[Netzach]

This works great if you are with a top who finds it really really erotic. I don't think there's anything wrong with it morally or anything.

I just, as a top, find it unsexy. Like broccoli in the teeth, nagging about dishes, unsexy. Blah.

So I'm way less likely to play with someone goading me into it like that.

 

[sidneyinheaven]

You mentioned in an earlier post that you are still figuring some things out about this lifestyle. If nothing else, hopefully in this thread you have learned about some terminology and concepts.

Don't we all have some things we are still figuring out about ourselves ? I find this l/s to be a learning experence that never ends. i know i don't have it down pat. but i know what i want out of it and thats all thats counts. And yes indeed i have learned some things from this thread. See Learning all the time.

Love
sidney

 

[ataxia.girl]

Don't we all have some things we are still figuring out about ourselves ? I find this l/s to be a learning experence that never ends. i know i don't have it down pat. but i know what i want out of it and thats all thats counts. And yes indeed i have learned some things from this thread. See Learning all the time.

If you and your D like how things are progressing there is nothing wrong with it. i often find just coming out and asking for what i need ruins it when i get it. i want my D to know, understand and care about me enough to notice if i need something without having to constantly spell it out. i will ask when i need it badly enough but the spanking or whatever it is never feels nearly so sweet as when he just notices something is off and takes care of it.

A lot of it just depends on the dynamic of your particular situation. i can see where not being "adult" enough to just come out and ask for what you need\want when you live with someone 24/7 would be really irritating and become a hassle. When a relationship is in the early stages i think some amount of testing and feeling each other out is to be expected. You may not want to come out and ask because you want to see how much he will notice by himself. Will he take action without your having to come right out and say it.

If i was with a D who i felt did take action when warranted and didn't let things slide until they absolutely HAD to be dealt with i would probably be more inclined to just ask. my "lazy jackass" radar is sort of on super sensitive at the moment so i'm seeing everything through that lens.

 

[FurryFury]

Nope, never. If I misbehave it's certainly not on purpose. In fact, I'd say I don't misbehave but I do mess up sometimes.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Just because you crave attention, i do from time to time. i know i will get punished for it. But hey in the long run thats what i want anyway.

Love
sidney

Nope, defeats the purpose of being in this relationship for me. Sometimes people become confused about what is punishment and what is simply S&M...they are vastly different, though to some may seem to resemble each other. For one thing they should come from a different mindset and have a different purpose. If a pyl is a masochist and involved with a sadist, it can be as simple as mentioning they are craving some pain to receive the attenton they desire without any of the negative connotations raised by deliberately acting out to get punished. Being bratty to get punished can backfire by eventually having the PYL decide the pyl isn't really into submitting and thus ending the relationship...then where will the attention come from?

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

If I want a spanking I can just ask for one. I have no need to "act out" and indeed have never wanted to. Sir and I have fun together, we laugh and joke a lot. He says I am the first woman He has been with who has a sense of humour

Just a thought....not wanting to sound ageist or offend, but would it be mainly younger subs (say under age 35) who feel the need to act bratty in order to get "punished" or get attention albeit negative attention? I'm almost 50 and have been in a D/s relationship since age 45. Acting like a bratty kid at my age just seems wrong and rather silly to me

Um, under 35 here. *waves*

 

[Daddyslilpet]

No. Punishment sucks. I'm a smart ass, yes. He likes smart asses. I joke and tease, and so does he. It's how we show affection - we're very polite to strangers and people we don't like.

I do not, however, deliberately piss him off. Not. Ok.

I could've written this word for word... are you my west coast twin?

 

[Bandit58]

Um, under 35 here. *waves*

*grins* Now grace I'm sure you're not a brat.....um....

 

[Harmony_1985]

I don't misbehave on purpose, but I am what he calls "A cheeky minx" and he likes it that way.

He likes my cheeky side.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Never...my natural sassyness gets me in enough trouble without looking for it. No need to top from the bottom here.

 

[Vampire_God]

I am very obedient as a sub.

 

[graceanne]

I could've written this word for word... are you my west coast twin?

Maybe.

*grins* Now grace I'm sure you're not a brat.....um....

Oh, sure.

Can I quote you?

 

[shy slave]

I am with others on here who say punishment is a serious thing and not an attention seeking device.

I am single and on a couple of web sites aimed at dating.

It really surprises me how many Doms dislike it when I say I am not a brat in the sense that I misbehave to be punished and I don't want to be punished.

It seems they read it as

a) I don't want pain.

b) I am too fixed in my ideas (they may be right about that)

c) I am no fun

d) I am either a Domme/switch or a man

e) I don't understand BDSM

Yet, I do like to say things that result in humour. It is usually under the guise of being helpful or in a vanilla setting when I know they can do little but smile sweetly in response. I do that to see if they have a sense of humour, and to amuse myself.

An example of my 'helpful humour' would be when an ex once commented he thought he was putting on weight, what did I think? I offered to lay on the floor and look up. Once there I could describe his cock and balls to him as it may have been a while since he had seen them.
Some may see that as brattish, others may not be amused.
I knew him well, and knew he would find it amusing.
He chose to cane me, not as punishment, but because it amused him to match my level of humour with his own brand of humour; an added bonus for him was my dislike of the cane.

It seems there are so many ways to view BDSM and D/s, it is a matter of finding a balance between what suits the people involved.

 

[Daddys_fuckSlut]

no I don't but

I don't to be punished, my mistresses punishments are not anything I will ever try to get. But I will be bratty at times for a good spanking but its not like she doesnt know what I'm getting at. I personally think any dom that gives punishments you TRY to get, needs to look up better punishments.

 

[Homburg]

An example of my 'helpful humour' would be when an ex once commented he thought he was putting on weight, what did I think? I offered to lay on the floor and look up. Once there I could describe his cock and balls to him as it may have been a while since he had seen them.
Some may see that as brattish, others may not be amused.
I knew him well, and knew he would find it amusing.
He chose to cane me, not as punishment, but because it amused him to match my level of humour with his own brand of humour; an added bonus for him was my dislike of the cane.

*snort* See, I would find that funny, so long as it was delivered properly.

And, yeah, funny to cane afterwards too, again, dependent on delivery.

Good stuff.

--

I personally think any dom that gives punishments you TRY to get, needs to look up better punishments.

No kidding. Time to rethink ye olde punishments if they're not modifying the behaviour.

 

[EmpressFi]

No kidding. Time to rethink ye olde punishments if they're not modifying the behaviour.

I tend to stick with the adage, if they're enjoying it, it's not punishment

 

[ataxia.girl]

It really surprises me how many Doms dislike it when I say I am not a brat in the sense that I misbehave to be punished and I don't want to be punished.

i run into these guys a lot and usually interpret it to mean they are mostly missing the Sadist gene in which case i move on. If they need an excuse to be mean and horrible to me they aren't for me. i already have that at home.

What i really hate is when they do want to be mean and horrible but can't do it without an excuse so they MAKE UP SOMETHING! I HATE that! If you want to hurt me just have the balls to do it. Don't pretend i did something wrong and that's why you're doing it. i don't really like that even in fun. Its like they can't do it without a sort of quasi role play.